Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[cwickham]

CHALLENGE ABU HAMZA

Deeply ill-advised revival of “Challenge Anneka” with a new host.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

HAMZANARCHY

Abu Hamza is teleported aboard Starbug by Kochanski and Cat as an example, for Lister, of a person who lead a perfectly ordinary life with one arm

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BELUGA, BELUGA, ABANDON SHIP

The alert siren is busted and Holly needs to warn the crew of a giant space beluga whale on a head on collision with Red Dwarf

[Moonlight]

TIMEWAVE 2

“Rimmer, I keep tellin ya man, you can’t ‘convert’ lesbians.”

“Just wait till I hit her with the wormdo line.”

[Moonlight]

YIFF K

Lister runs into a furry convention at the airport.

[Moonlight]

PETE PART 3: RIMMER IS RAPED BY A DINOSAUR

Using the remaining sexual magnetism virus, Lister hatches a plot to distract Pete for a while.

[cwickham]

PETE PART Y2K

Doug Naylor unsuccessfully attempts to blame the quality of the Series VIII scripts on a computer bug.

[cwickham]

Y2K TO RIDE

The Time Drive is affected by a computer bug, causing the Dwarfers to accidentally cause Edward Oxford to succeed in his assassination attempt on Queen Victoria.

[cwickham]

Y2KRYTEN

Kryten is affected by a computer bug which causes him to believe that the Dwarfers are, instead of three million years into deep space, two hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand years into deep space.

[cwickham]

Y2KRYTIE TV

Attitudes to women are set back by a hundred years.

[cwickham]

Y2KRYSIS

Kryten solves his mid-life crisis by downloading a computer bug that causes him to believe he is a hundred years younger than he actually is.

[cwickham]

PETE PART MP3

Pete, but with the sound and picture quality all horribly compressed so you can’t see or hear it properly, which is a massive improvement on the original.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

YME2

Kochanski questions why she was the focus of unwelcomed sexual advances from a higher ranking officer

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THANK YK2 FOR THE MEMORY

Holly is grateful that a centuries old computer bug resulted in better programming, allowing him to count dates properly

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Y2K TO RIDE

The crew travel back in time and prevent the Y2K bug which wasn’t a problem anyway so nothing is changed. Lister and Cat however still manages to eat BBQ human without noticing.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Y2K OF THE APOCALYPSE

Starbug contracts the Y2K bug and nothing happens. The crew still spend half an hour in a Western computer game for the lolz

[Warbodog]

WE’VE ONLY GOT ONE AFTER VIII MINT LEFT

Fans snap up the new comprehensive Red Dwarf I-XII boxset, despite the unusual contractual loophole that requires all the Dave-era series to be tinted pale green.

[Warbodog]

ABOUT THE SAME SPEED AS THE AVERAGE LITTLE CHEF-WAITRESS

Overseas fans wonder why Holly’s being unreasonably harsh to overworked dwarf restaurateurs.

[Dave]

YO TODHUNTER GET DOWN

Robert Bathurst releases a cash-in solo hip-hop album.

[Dave]

I’M ONLY HUMMIN’

Craig Charles releases a cash-in solo a capella album.

[Dave]

THERE ARE NO SOUNDS TO HEAR

Robert Llewellyn doesn’t release a cash-in solo album.

[Dave]

THE INVIGILATOR

The Inquisitor catches up with Frank Todhunter, who deems himself unworthy of being an exam invigilator after remembering that a clearly unwell man stood up and fainted in the middle of an exam he was invigilating, and he barely batted an eyelid.

[Dave]

HOLLY HOLIDAY HALLIDAY HOLYDAY HOLLYDAY

Holly is given a holiday from being the ship’s computer for a day. He decides to spend his 24 hours of freedom impersonating ‘the French Elvis’. To complicate things further, all of this is happening on the occasion of a religious festival. And also on the one day of the week when Red Dwarf gets its weekly delivery of aquifoliaceae.

[Dave]

HELLO… CAT?

Cat Deeley materialises on board Red Dwarf, and the crew barely recognise such a non-celebrity.

[cwickham]

HELLO… KITKAT?

After three million years on his own, Holly can no longer recognise a well-known brand of chocolate bar.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

HELLO… THAT THAT?

Boy Zone materialise aboard Red Dwarf but Lister confuses them with another well known 90s boy band.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

NO BODY ELSE SPELLS TAKE WITH AN H AND A T

Forum user embarrasses himself with simple spelling

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

YOU CAN TAKE TWO SEASONS OF SUITS AND THAT IT

Lister tells Cat he can’t take his entire Suits DVD collection into stasis

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

LISTER, TOUCH THAT LAUNDRY I’LL REMOVE THE G-STRING AND GARROTTE YOU WITH IT

Kochanski warns Lister against rifling through her dirty washing

[Dave]

GIVE & THAT

Starring Jason Orange as Snacky.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BETTER THAN WESTLIFE

An argument breaks out amongst the crew as to whether Take That are better than another 90s boy band.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BOYS II MEN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Starbug’s computer gets infected with songs by a popular R&B group.

[cwickham]

BLACK BOX

Lister gives Rimmer all his memories of the song “Ride on Time”.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

RED DWARF 5IVE

Series 5 is digitally remastered with deep fake software to replace the main cast with members of a popular 90s boy band.

[cwickham]

DEMONS & GIRLS ALOUD

Red Dwarf blows up, and two new copies of the ships materialise, both containing evil versions of the crew.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

HANSON 10

A message from Divadroid international arrives informing the crew that Kryten is to be replaces by a pre-pubescent band of brothers

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ACE OF BASE RIMMER

Rimmer joins a 90s pop group

[cwickham]

SKEWERED

The Dwarfers discover a scientific research station dedicated to finding ways to holding pieces of food together.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DAMON ALBARN AND NO ANGELS

90s Brit pop sensation collaborates with an early 00s all girl pop group for reasons that escape the Red Dwarf community

[cwickham]

BREWERED

The Dwarfers discover a scientific research station dedicated to inventing new types of beer.

[cwickham]

DEMONS AND ALL SAINTS

Red Dwarf blows up, and two new versions of the ship materialise, one of which contains an English-Canadian girl group.

[cwickham]

DEMONS AND ALL ANGELS

Red Dwarf blows up, and two new versions of the ship materialise, one of which contains a classical crossover group which has her off of Call the Midwife and Ghosts as a member.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TLC

Kryten is transformed into a 90s girl group and becomes determined to never scrub Lister’s gussets again.

[cwickham]

PYT

Kryten is transformed into Michael Jackson. This is actually a real episode that was quietly scrapped and replaced with a new one just weeks before broadcast, due to internal suspicions at BBC Manchester.

[cwickham]

DOA

Kryten dies.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BOYZONE

Rimmer is incarcerated by a computer inside the Boy Zone. Every crime committed within the Boy Zone happens to a member of a 90s boy band.

[cwickham]

OMG

Kryten is shocked.

[cwickham]

THE NOTORIOUS BIG

Kryten becomes a rapper.

[cwickham]

LAST OF THE SMEGGER WINE

New title for Red Dwarf that will be used for Series XIII.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

U2

Lister finds the holodisc of a popular Irish rock band. Believing it to be Kochanski’s he loads it up. Rimmer ends up moving in with Bono.

[Author]

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