Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

OUT OF TIM

Kochanski meets her future self who has travelled back in time to collect some of Tim’s cum, as she has run out of what she had stored up making lots of little babies for herself.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BEYOND A TIM

Kochanski tries to get over her relationship with Tim by trying to bed Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice World.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TIMTICA

Lister travels back in time to try and prevent Tim from ever having existing, by putting a prohibition on Tim’s and going around mercilessly beating them all up in the street.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TIM’S WAND

Kochanski discovers Tim’s penis has magical rejuvinating powers, leading her to shower herself with his spunk

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE SENSATIONAL DIAMOND BROTHERS

Kryten and Rimmer cover themselves in expensive jewels to entertain pub audiences whilst stuck in another dimension.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DIAMONDS AND ANGELS

Red Dwarf explodes splitting in two, creating on ship full of diamonds and another full of angels.

[Dave]

NEIL DIAMOND, BROTHERS

‘High’ Rimmer plays his favourite artist to his crewmates as part of ‘music and dance’.

[Dave]

SWEET CAROLINE

Lister enjoys listening to a Neil Diamond song about an old Plutonian miner’s daughter.

[Dave]

That was meant to be SWEET CLEMENTINE, obviously, the joke doesn’t work otherwise. Fuck.

[Dave]

SONG SUNG BLUE

Neil Diamond records a cover version of the Rimmer munchkin song.

[Dave]

FOREVER IN BLUE

Neil Diamond complains that Dave-era Rimmer hasn’t yet changed his colour scheme.

[Dave]

GIRL, YOU’LL BE A BALL-WOMAN SOON

Lister fires up the AR machine to play ‘Wimbledon’.

[Dave]

LOVE ON THE ROCKS

Holly meets Ace Rimmer for the first time in Dimension Jump.

[cwickham]

SWEET BANNATYNE

Lister writes a song about his favourite Dragon.

[cwickham]

SWEET: BANOFFEE PIE

Kryten announces tonight’s pudding.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

YOU DON’T BRING ME SELF RAISING FLOWER

Kochanski bemoans the lack of apology from Lister after he watched her shower for 3hours

[cwickham]

THE MAN

Taylor Swift song about Parallel Universe.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SWEET CLEMENT ATTLEE

Lister pens a song about his favourite Labour Prime Minister

[cwickham]

DON’T GO BREAKING MY HEART

Elton John song about the first quarter of M-Corp.

[cwickham]

CHOKE ON A KIPPER

Whilst eating their breakfast one morning, the person who initially started this topic remembers doing so almost three years ago, and decides to revisit G&T for the first time since then to see if anything ever came of their suggestion.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I THINK WE’VE EXPERIENCED THIS PERIOD OF TIME BEFORE SIR

Forum user is suspicious his last post in the ideas of an episode thread is a rehash of his own from several pages back

[Dave]

I’M A BELIEVER

Neil Diamond turns up at the very end of Legion to answer Kryten’s rhetorical question about the Star Drive, but is seconds too late. He then bemoans the fact that very few people even know that he wrote the eponymous Monkees hit.

[Dave]

I’M A LEAVER

Neil Diamond clumsily wades into the Brexit debate.

[Dave]

I’M A PREE LEVER

The switch used to bring Pree online suddenly becomes self-aware.

[cwickham]

BACK TO THE KIPPER

Horrified at what the thread they created has become, smoke me a kipper attempts to use the time drive to stop themselves from ever posting their idea for an episode, only to be confronted by a version of themselves from a future timeline where the thread has grown so large, it now makes up more than 50.1% of Ganymede & Titan and the people posting ideas in it are technically the majority owners of the webspace.

[cwickham]

FUTURE IDEAS FOR EPISODES

In the year 2030, the “Idea for an episode” thread has reached over 30,000 posts, and it is discovered the forum software is not capable of coping with so many pages. The server overheats, causing ideas for episodes to echo back into the past.

[Dave]

GREEN WITH A PREE COT

Damien Green arrives on Red Dwarf, having constructed a small baby’s cradle for the new ship’s computer to live in. Unfortunately, the mood turns sour when he almost immediately attempts to use a terminal to access online pornography.

[Dave]

WHITE, IT GOES WITH ANYTHING

Lister keeps playing Barry White records, under the delusion that his music is suitable for any occasion.

[Dave]

PAISLEY WITH STRIPES

When Ian Paisley materialises on board Red Dwarf, he almost immediately starts loudly airing his political views. Not wanting to get drawn into a thorny debate about Northern Irish politics, Kryten attempts to calm him down by offering him a packet of Maoam Stripes.

[cwickham]

WHITE PART TWO

Crossover with Men Behaving Badly, where Lister and Gary discuss their shared love of Barry White.

[Dave]

YOUR BUCKET’S BEEN KICKED, BABY

Anarchic gameshow hosted by Chris Barrie in which several infants are placed in large pails that the blindfolded contestant must attempt to strike with his foot, thus eliciting a response from its inhabitant.

[Dave]

SPOKEY DOKEY ME A CLIPPER

Ace Rimmer attaches loads of irritating plastic slidey things to the spokes of his bike. This allows the nazis to hear him coming from miles away, and kill him easily.

[Dave]

EPIMEME

An annoying virus targets Red Dwarf and keeps posting hilarious images of a sad Keanu Reeves, a boyfriend being distracted by another woman, and John Travolta looking confused in a scene from Pulp Fiction.

[Warbodog]

EPSONDEME

An evil multifunction printer rips Lister’s arm off while he’s trying to fix a paper jam.

[Warbodog]

EPSOMDEME

Evil bath salt dissolves Lister’s arm.

[cwickham]

EPIPENDEME

The ship is overrun with medical devices designed to inject a dose of adrenaline.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING: YOUR BUCKET’S BEEN KICKED, BABY II: POLYMORPHY IV

Anarchic gameshow hosted by Hyacinth Bucket in which several cute infant ploymorphs in various tiny animal forms are placed in large pails that the blindfolded contestant crew of Red Dwarf must attempt to strike with their feet, thus eliciting a response from its inhabitant.

[Dave]

THE MAGIC FLUTE

While cleaning the diesel decks, Kryten discovers a flute that can grant wishes. With hilarious consequences.

[Dave]

DIESEL DECKS

Lister discovers that his set of turntables are covered in petrol. This ruins his plans for the Red Dwarf ‘Funk n Soul’ night.

[Dave]

DISRAELI DECKS

While vacationing in the diesel decks, Rimmer discovers the preserved corpse of Benjamin Disraeli.

[Dave]

EASEL DECKS

Kryten discovers a hidden floor on Red Dwarf full of art supplies.

[Dave]

WEASEL DECKS

When Holly finally unseals the other part of the hold, the crew discover a race of humanoid creatures who evolved from weasels.

[Dave]

MEASLE DECKS

When Rimmer returns from vacationing in the diesel decks, he is struck down with a case of holographic rubella.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MR SUCKS

Rimmer skips into a dimension where the Cat is replaced by a race of beings evolved from gigolo famed for his blow jobs

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MR PLATT

Rimmer skips into a dimension where the Cat is replaced by a race of beings evolved from Gail Platt off of Corrie

[cwickham]

PLATT IN THE RED

Alternative title for a version of Back to Earth where different Coronation Street actors turned up.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MR BAT

Rimmer skips into a dimension where the Cat is replaced by a race a race of beings evolved from a cricket bat

[cwickham]

PINK

The Munchkin Song is covered by an American singer-songwriter.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PLATT TO REALITY

The Platt family enter a group hallucination where they believe they are characters in Red Dwarf and not from Weatherfield after all

[cwickham]

PLATT TO EARTH

The groundbreaking discovery is made that the cast of Coronation Street are from the planet Earth.

[Author]

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