Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Dave]

BEST GUESS

Robert Llewellyn hosts a re-imagined and renamed version of ‘Call My Bluff’, in full Kryten garb.

[Dave]

BLESSED GUESS

The Pope visits Red Dwarf and tries to estimate what might be going on in this week’s plot.

[Dave]

BREAST GUESS

Rimmer starts ‘elbow-titting’ with a blindfold on.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BREAST GUEST

The sign on the spare changing room at the recording studio is changed for all female guest performers.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BREST GUESS

The crew blindly try to find a town in France on a map

[cwickham]

BEST GUESS

Robert Llewellyn makes a guest appearance on “Would I Lie to You?”

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ERR, SKIP

Fans watching the series XII DVD get to episode three.

[cwickham]

SKYPER

Rimmer travels to a parallel universe via the means of a video communications app.

[cwickham]

BYKER

Rimmer travels to a parallel universe where he works in a youth club in the Byker district of Newcastle Upon Tyne.

[Dave]

RIMMUM

Rimmer, to rhyme with ‘scum’.

[Dave]

THE DROID WHO CRIED WOLF

When Kryten looks out of Starbug’s window and sees the Bolivian navy on maneuvers in the South Pacific, Lister flat-out refuses to believe him.

[Dave]

JAKE BULLSHIT

Kryten insists he really is a tough no-nonsense type like his Despair Squid persona, but everyone knows it’s not true.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DECEIVEADROID INTERNATIONAL

Kryten reveals that, rather than building robots, they just put people in robot costumes as it was cheaper. This is why the series 3000 version was rejected, because in a cost saving measure they just sent humans without the costumes to customers homes. Similarly, all the DNA machine did was just remove the wearers costume, revealing the human underneath. This also explains why Hudson 10 is just a man with a helmet, and both the alternate Krytens from Inquisitor and Back to Reality appear to have human heads.

[cwickham]

OH DEAR OH DEAR DAVE

Lister receives a letter from the Chuckle Brothers.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

2ME 2U

The Chuckle Brothers duplicate themselves and form U2 tribute band in a backwards universe

[cwickham]

TOMETOYOUOCRACY

The Chuckle Brothers are elected Joint Presidents of Red Dwarf.

[Ridley]

SLACKIN’ THE RED PART NO

[Warbodog]

INTO THIS BLEAK ARENA STEPS A MANTA

As page XII approaches the end, the back references get gratutious and the manta ray makes an unwelcome return, even though all possible ‘man’ and ‘ray’ permutations were exhausted several pages ago.

[Warbodog]

WHAT ARE YOU, A MANTA OR A MUNCHKIN?

Lister completes a banal Facebook quiz.

[Warbodog]

YOU’RE A CANARY MANTA

In his spare time, Warden Ackerman tries to crossbreed a songbird with a wide fish, unsuccessfully.

[Warbodog]

I’VE BEEN RAY CLASSIFIED AS A MANTA

The JMC on-board computer manipulates Kryten’s sense of self some more.

[Warbodog]

RED DWARF RAYMANTAD

Another of these bizarre complete series boxsets they keep releasing with one specific, off-putting change made to the episodes, this time putting a manta ray in it.

[Dave]

WAIT A MINUTE, I NEVER USED TO BE A MANTA

Sequel to DNA in which all of the crew are turned into manta rays.

[Warbodog]

A WEAK LAST THIRST RAY

The manta ray gets obsessed with the more mediocre parts of James Last’s oeuvre.

[Dave]

TUNA MELT DOWN

Lister drops his lunch on the floor.

[Dave]

BELT DOWN

Rimmer’s trousers fall down.

[Dave]

PELT DOWN

Cat’s fur coat is replaced by one made of duck feathers.

[Dave]

FELT DOWN

Lister rips the baize on Red Dwarf’s pool table.

[Dave]

CELT DOWN

Kryten goes on a murderous rampage and tries to kill anyone of Celtic ancestry.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MANTA IN THE RUBBER MASK

Robert Llewellyn’s candid biography and look behind the scenes of Red Dwarf reveals he is in fact a large sea swelling ray that has been wearing a rubber human mask all these years.

[Warbodog]

QUELT DOWN

Rimmer requests a comfier hologrammatic duvet, but Holly will only grant the request if Rimmer attempts a Scottish accent.

[Warbodog]

BUSY, DAVE?

Lister wonders if he can really justify setting his social media status to ‘Do Not Disturb’ when he’s coming up with Ideas for an episode.

[Warbodog]

YOU SEEM INORDINATELY HAPPY, ARNOLD, BUT ‘Y’

Cassandra’s confused about why Rimmer’s taking his disfiguring spinal injury in such high spirits.

[Dave]

PETE MANTA’S SISTER

Lister makes a special hole in his pocket for this unusually attractive sea creature.

[cwickham]

SWEET MANTA’S SISTER

Lister coats a sea creature in sugar, and eats it.

[cwickham]

SWEET MANTA BLISTER

Lister gets a blister on his teeth from eating a sugar-coated sea creature.

[cwickham]

DEAR DAVE MITCHELL

Lister receives a letter actually intended for the author of “Cloud Atlas”.

[cwickham]

DEAR DAVE MYERS

Lister receives a letter actually intended for one of the Hairy Bikers.

[cwickham]

LOVER TO RIDE

The Dwarfers use the Time Drive to follow Taylor Swift on her latest world tour.

[cwickham]

GLOVER TO RIDE

The Dwarfers use the Time Drive to meet the esteemed actor Julian Glover.

[cwickham]

DOVER TO RIDE

The Dwarfers use the Time Drive to visit the White Cliffs of Dover.

[cwickham]

BOYS FROM THE NORTH

New version of Series I where Christopher Eccleston, Daniel Craig and Mark Strong were cast as Lister, Rimmer and Holly.

[cwickham]

MIVVI AND TAKE

Asclepius comes back, and steals Lister’s strawberry ice-cream.

[cwickham]

BACK TO TRUDEAU-LITY

That bloke who blacked up to enter the costume competition as Duane Dibbley at Dimension Jump is revealed to have really been Justin Trudeau.

[Dave]

BEYOND A 6000

With the end of page 12 in sight, one particular G&T forum user begins a desperate push to fill up the thread with ideas for an episode, and break through the milestone.

[Dave]

6000 OF THE BEST

Extremely inaccurate title that will be used for the print compilation of the first 12 pages of this thread.

[Dave]

IT HAS A SIX IN IT, BUT IT’S NOT 6000

Queeg predicts how many posts will be in this thread once it reaches page 13.

[Dave]

BEYOND A ‘6000’ JOKE

Contributors to the ‘idea for an episode’ thread worry that all the jokes about the number 6000 will be exhausted before the thread reaches that milestone.

[Dave]

ALMOST 13 NEWS

Contributors to the ‘idea for an episode’ thread keep on talking about the fact that page 13 is definitely on the way, despite it conspicuously failing to materialise.

[Dave]

THERE ISN’T A PAGE 13!

Yeah, there is. It was classified. A need-to-know only basis.

[Author]

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