Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

Viewing 100 posts - 12,401 through 12,500 (of 12,587 total)
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  • #269930
    Dave
    Participant

    FUCK MY HOGEY WE’RE ON PAGE 125

    Etc.

    #269931
    cwickham
    Participant

    HOAGY THE FUCKMYARSEY

    It’s page 125.

    #269932
    cwickham
    Participant

    HOAGY THE ONLY

    Hoagy is unique.

    #269933
    cwickham
    Participant

    HOAGY THE LONELY

    Hoagy is in solitude.

    #269934
    cwickham
    Participant

    HOAGY THE TRICKY

    Hoagy is difficult.

    #269935
    si
    Participant

    HOGUEY THE MOWGLI

    Hoguey strikes up a charming friendship with a bear.

    #269936
    Dave
    Participant

    HOGEY WE’VE FORGOTTEN YOU

    The Inquisitor erases Hogey from existence due to him not being a worthwhile recurring character.

    #269937
    Warbodog
    Participant

    HOGEY BARE

    Hogey becomes a naturist and hangs out in every sense in the botanical gardens on the lookout for picnic baskets.

    #269938
    Warbodog
    Participant

    HOGEY THE WRONG ‘UN

    Hogey is exposed as a sexual predator.

    #269943
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-FIVE

    Lister holds a race between all the Skutters. Unfortunately, he tries to get Holly to keep the results, and there’s a bit of a mix-up. All he knows is that the Skutter who came in three places in front of the Skutter who finished last came in two places ahead of the Skutter who came in seventh.

    How many Skutters finished the race?

    8?

    #269944
    cwickham
    Participant

    HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE IN CORRECT ANSWERS AND PARANOIA

    Yes

    #269945
    Dave
    Participant

    HO-GEE FOOTBALL

    Lister challenges Hogey to a game of Zero-G Football to settle a bet.

    #269946
    Dave
    Participant

    HO HO HOGEY

    Red Dwarf Christmas special.

    #269947
    Dave
    Participant

    THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOGEY

    The skutters kill Hogey and hollow him out to use him as a new home.

    #269948

    HOGEY ALONE 2

    Hogey teams up with Donalds J Trump for a Christmas film.

    #269949
    Dave
    Participant

    LET’S MOVE OUR BUTTS, HOGEY

    Hogey is retconned to be the modern incarnation of the secret fifth Dwarfer from Series VI Remastered, Boney, in a tenuous callback to a running gag from page 98.

     

    #269978
    Dave
    Participant

    HULLO… RAT?

    Lister is incredulous when he meets for the first time a creature who evolved from a rat, only for the being to insist on being called Mister, thank you very much.

    #269979
    Dave
    Participant

    HULLO… SHAT?

    Lister is incredulous when he meets for the first time a nonagenerian actor from Earth’s 21st century who has decided to shoot himself into space for a daft laugh.

     

    #269980
    Dave
    Participant

    HULLO… HAT?

    Lister is incredulous when he finds his leather deerstalker for the first time.

     

    #269981
    Dave
    Participant

    HULLO… PAT?

    Lister is incredulous when the blond-mulleted agonoid Patz J’harp takes over Red Dwarf, guts several floors of it and turns it into a sinister gauntlet called The Fun House, a real crazy show where anything goes.

    As Starbug flies through the carwash-style rollers that have now been installed over the landing bay doors, a chilling voice insists that Lister must use his body and his brain if he wants to play the game.

    Tricked into thinking that the experience will be a whole lot of fun, with prizes to be won, Lister soon realizes that Red Dwarf is now wacky, fun, crazy and outrageous.

    #269982
    Dave
    Participant

    HULLO… TWAT?

    Lister is incredulous when Piers Morgan materialises on board.

     

    #269983

    HULLO… PAT?

    Lister is incredulous when the blond-mulleted agonoid Patz J’harp takes over Red Dwarf, guts several floors of it and turns it into a sinister gauntlet called The Fun House, a real crazy show where anything goes.

    As Starbug flies through the carwash-style rollers that have now been installed over the landing bay doors, a chilling voice insists that Lister must use his body and his brain if he wants to play the game.

    Tricked into thinking that the experience will be a whole lot of fun, with prizes to be won, Lister soon realizes that Red Dwarf is now wacky, fun, crazy and outrageous.

    I’m going to break protocal to say that it may have taking 12,420 posts, but I think we finally landed on a genuinely good, needs commissioning idea for an episode.  This is surely a Red Nose Day cross over special screaming to be made.

    #269984
    Dave
    Participant

    I may not be fast, but I get there in the end.

    #269985
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Shall we lock the thread now then?

    #269986
    Dave
    Participant

    As long as it qualifies for Hall Of Fame status.

    #269987

    WAITING FOR LOCK

    Upon locking a long standing shit-posting thread on his own website, Ian immediately passes away overjoyed on the happiest day of his life.

    #269988
    Dave
    Participant

    THE LOCK VIRUS MUST HAVE WORN OFF

    After Ian contracts a positive virus that leads him to quickly and efficiently lock all shitposting threads, contributors to the Idea For An Episode thread breathe a sigh of relief when the development proves short-lived.

    #269989

    ME LOCK, ME LOCK IS IN THE BIN!

    Ian is incredulous that forum members have managed to bust down his thread lock and throw it away!

    #269990
    loadoftottnumb
    Participant

    Me L…..

    Out of Time

    #269991
    Dave
    Participant

    LOCK. LOCK!

    Ian attempts to use a voice-command to lock the thread, then has to repeat himself when it doesn’t work the first time.

    #269992
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-SIX

    If Ian Symes is given an excuse to lock the thread at 9:48am, and it’s still open nearly four hours later, has he missed the window of opportunity where locking the thread will actually be funny?

    #269993
    Dave
    Participant

    THE POST’S ARRIVED

    Ian is so overcome with excitement at seeing a post that gives him an excuse to lock the thread that he forgets to actually do it.

    #269994

    LOCK? WHAT LOCK?

    When questioned why the thread hasn’t been locked, Ian fains ignorance before Cappsy and Danny reveal they have a photo of Ian posing with a lock, that he then failed to applied to the offending thread.

    #269995
    cwickham
    Participant

    LOCK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO

    Taylor Swift song about the latest threat to close the idea for an episode thread once and for all.

    #269996

    I SHOULD BE SO LOCKY

    Kylie pens an anthem for a forum administrator who is keen to shut down the idea for an episode thread.

    #269997
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I WANT MORE LIFE, SMEGMEISTER

    Forum users goad the admin into locking a time-wasting thread to give them some of their precious remaining lifespan back.

    #269999
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SYMES, I. TREBLE ZERO, ONE, SIX, NINE!

    It turns out the delay in locking the ideas for an episode thread was a result of Ian being erased from history for failing to become that which he might have been

    #270000
    si
    Participant

    SYMES SLIDES

    Ian stops giving a fuck about the Idea for an Episode thread because, let’s face it, it’s not worth the hassle.

    #270001
    Dave
    Participant

    DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I’D PUT THE CORRECTED BLU-RAY DISC IN THE BLU-RAY BOXSET WHERE ANY MUNCHKIN COULD FIND IT?

    Rimmer is revealed to be the mastermind behind the recall/replacement program for the Red Dwarf Series I-VIII Blu-Ray boxset.

    #270004
    Warbodog
    Participant

    OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND?

    Rimmer struggles to distinguish between a barely adequate HD upscale of his favourite show and a version with errors in.

    #270005

    START THE REPLACEMENT DISC PLEASE HOLLY

    Captain Hollister is thrilled to receive his blu-ray replacement disc, so hurriedly puts together a long video ship report, including playing of said disc, to be attached to the start of a series viii multi parter that is running short.

    #270007
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    I’VE SEEN SOMETHING YOU HAVEN’T, SQUIRE

    Kryten brags to Butler about having already received his replacement tapes for the omega-video ‘Androids’ box set, emphasising how the 41,075 missing frames in Series 3, Episode 2 are clearly superior to the other 41,075 frames.

    Butler responds, “You are fortunate indeed, friend! Alas, while I await my replacements, I will have to settle for watching the AI-remastered versions I created myself using the source footage. The fidelity is astounding, but I’m sure your copies are much more authentic.”

    #270008
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-SEVEN

    Whilst travelling through space in Starbug, Lister glances at the milometer to see how many billions of kilometres this Starbug has travelled. At the moment, the milometer reads 14941 billion kilometres. 14941 is, of course, a perfect palindrome.

    Two hours later, Lister glances at the milometer again and sees that it now shows a new palindrome.

    What was the average speed of the ship, in kilometres, in those two hours?

    #270009
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-SEVEN

    Whilst travelling through space in Starbug, Lister glances at the milometer to see how many billions of kilometres this Starbug has travelled. At the moment, the milometer reads 14941 billion kilometres. 14941 is, of course, a perfect palindrome.

    Two hours later, Lister glances at the milometer again and sees that it now shows a new palindrome.

    What was the average speed of the ship, in kilometres, in those two hours?

    55 billion kph.

    That’s over 50 times the speed of light. Lister should be experiencing some serious future echoes right now.

    Actually, what if Starbug is really only going slightly faster than the speed of light, and the milometer reading is itself a future echo??? Impossible to know for sure.

    #270074
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER BB KING

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a series VII script, Kochanski is recast as a legendary bluesman.

    #270075
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER BEEP BEEP

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a series VII script, Kochanski is recast as Road Runner from the Looney Tunes cartoons, infuriating those purists who insist that he actually says Meep Meep, even though officially it’s Beep Beep.

     

    #270076
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER BIBBY

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a series VII script, Kochanski is recast as Red Dwarf’s production designer.

     

    #270077
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER BOBBY

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a series VII script, Kochanski is recast as Robert Llewellyn, making for some scenes that are very confusing and technically challenging to shoot.

     

    #270078
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER BOOBY

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a series VII script, Kochanski is still recast as Chloe Annett, but is contractually obliged to be topless throughout.

     

    #270079
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER BAMBI

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a series VII script, Kochanski is recast as a cartoon deer.

     

    #270086
    cwickham
    Participant

    OFFICER 10CC

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as a rock band.

    #270087
    cwickham
    Participant

    OFFICER DEE-DEE

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as a character from Dexter’s Laboratory.

    #270088
    cwickham
    Participant

    OFFICER EEVEE

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as a Pokémon.

    #270089
    cwickham
    Participant

    OFFICER FIFI

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as a poodle.

    #270090
    cwickham
    Participant

    OFFICER S E-B

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as the lead singer of theaudience.

    #270091
    cwickham
    Participant

    OFFICER GB

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as Andrew Neil.

    #270092
    si
    Participant

    OFFICER BEE GEE

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as Barry Gibb.

    #270093
    Jenuall
    Participant

    OFFICER BB-8

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as a droid from Star Wars

    #270094
    Jenuall
    Participant

    OFFICER CBGB

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as a NYC music venue

    #270095
    Jenuall
    Participant

    OFFICER JCVD

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a Series VII script, Kochanski is recast as everyone’s favourite 90s kick boxing star Jean-Claude Van Damme

    #270096
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER BOO-BOO

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a series VII script, Kochanski is recast as Yogi Bear’s diminutive companion.

    #270097
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER BARBIE

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a series VII script, Kochanski is recast as a small plastic doll.

    #270098
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER BIDET

    Due to a misunderstanding over one of Cat’s lines in a series VII script, Kochanski has to wash the rest of the crew’s arses.

    #270099
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I’D PROBABLY CHOOSE TO GO BACK TO A WEEK LAST WEDNESDAY

    A forum member reminisces fondly about the most recent time the admin suggested closing this thread.

    #270100
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-EIGHT

    The Skutters have been told to organise Rimmer’s back issues of Morris Dancer Monthly. They have a box with 113 monthly issues and 63 special editions in it, and a bag with another 72 monthly issues in it.

    Every time they reach into the box, they pull out two issues. If they pull out a monthly issue and a special edition, they throw a special edition back into the box. If they’re both the same type, they throw a monthly issue back in. They keep doing this until there’s only one issue left in the box. What type of issue is it?

    #270232

    SMEGA-DRIVE WAVE

    Free from all criticism, forum users flood a popular fan site with any and all memes created by the new Smega-Drive technology, neglecting their 125 page shit posting thread about episode ideas

    #270233

    SMEGA-DRIVE SLIDES

    All the new Red Dwarf memes come to life.

    #270234

    THANKS FOR THE SMEGA-DRIVE

    Realising what a mistake it was to empower Red Dwarf fans with the power to create any Red Dwarf meme they want, the G&T team set about systematically going around to everyone’s house and erasing their memories of the last 4 days.

    #270235

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>OUT OF SMEGA-DRIVE</p>
    When the Smega-Drive breaks, the G&T admins travel back in time and end up killing their past selves in a dispute over code IP.

    #270236

    SMEGA-DRIVE HOLE

    The crew discover a special anomaly that is spewing Red Dwarf memes into the universe.

    #270237

    IDEA FOR A SMEGA-DRIVE

    A forum thread dedicated to coming up with different names for a Red Dwarf meme engine is posted to a popular fan site by an unwitting user, who isn’t aware of the years of anguish the G&T admins will suffer that they will be indirectly responsible for.

    #270238
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    OUT OF IDEAS FOR AN EPISODE

    Agreeing that the “Idea for an episode.” thread is at serious risk of losing its popularity thanks to competition from the hipper, younger, more technically impressive Smega-Drive, one desperate forum poster suggests capitalising on the trend by letting the “Random everything… ” button pitch the episode ideas instead.

    #270243
    Warbodog
    Participant

    THE SLASHA-DRIVE

    #270250
    Dave
    Participant

    THE HEIDEGGER-DRIVE

    #270251

    SMEG-BOX

    Lister scraps his smeg into a box to keep just to annoy Rimmer.

    #270252

    SMEG-STATION

    The area where Lister prepares his Smeg-Box.

    #270357
    Jenuall
    Participant

    TIME WAND TONY

    A racist vending machine finds a device that can manipulate time and the result is a load of shit

    #270364
    Rudolph
    Participant

    TAIWAN PONY

    The crew are paid £25 to tell some racist jokes.

    #270610
    cwickham
    Participant

    TAKE CHRISTMAS, WHAT DID WE DO CHRISTMAS DAY?

    Rimmer feigns amnesia over his illegal Christmas celebrations.

    #270624
    Warbodog
    Participant

    OUROBSOLESCENCE

    #270628

    MEME MEN OF THA APOCALYPSE

    After released a deadly Smega-drive into the Fandom, forum posts and comment sections get heavily infected with memes focusing on how shit one particular series is.

    #270629
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

    Talkie Toaster checks in with the happenings on the G&T forums and is unsurprised to discover series 8 is taking a kicking

    #270648
    Rudolph
    Participant

    SO WHAT ELSE IS PEW?

    The Dwarfers check in on Blind Pew, who shows off his new contact lenses.

    #270782
    cwickham
    Participant

    SHROPSHIREOCRACY

    Kryten is so shit at being Machine President he manages to lose re-election, despite such a thing being theoretically impossible since it’s never come up.

    #270783

    SHROPSHIRECONIA

    All the mechs on board the SSS Shropshire get an upgrade from Conservative to Lib Dem, and have their outer shells painted yellow.

    #270837
    Dave
    Participant

    BEYOND A WOKE

    Doug decides to write a sequel to Timewave that will allow him to really stick it to “cancel culture”.

    #270838
    Dave
    Participant

    BEYOND A POKE

    Abandoned episode concept from Series VIII in which someone spills the sexual magnetism virus all over Kryten.

    #270839
    Dave
    Participant

    BEYOND A TOKE

    ‘Edgy’ new episode for Series XIV in which Doug has the Boys From The Dwarf all suddenly become casual drug users.

    #270840
    Dave
    Participant

    BEYOND A CHOKE

    BEGG-centric feature-length special.

    #270841
    cwickham
    Participant

    BEYOND A SOAK

    Doug has a really, really long bath.

    #270842
    cwickham
    Participant

    BEYOND A MOKE

    Doug drives a comically small car.

    #270843
    cwickham
    Participant

    BEYOND A BOAK

    Doug hires an incompetent former Doctor Who director.

    #270844
    cwickham
    Participant

    BEYOND A YOLK

    Doug eats eggs.

    #270845

    BEYOND A SOAK: WAITING FOR GOD 2

    Having convinced Kochanski it isn’t really sex if he just penetrates her with his penis but they both lie still, Lister then gets Kryten to bounce up and down on the bed next to them to create some friction.

     

    #270853
    Dave
    Participant

    THE HOLLY AND THE A.V.

    Festive Red Dwarf special in which Norman Lovett reminisces about the various equipment on which his image has been displayed over the past 30 years.

    #270854
    Dave
    Participant

    ICE RIMMER

    Festive Red Dwarf special in which Chris Barrie constructs a snowman version of his popular alter ego while regaling viewers with stories about how difficult it was to get the wig right.

    #270855
    Dave
    Participant

    LAST HO-HO-HO MAN

    Festive Red Dwarf special in which Craig Charles sits in a leather armchair by a log fire and reads a heartwarming story about how Lister, as the last human being in the universe, has to act as Santa Claus for himself, preserving the surprise by getting so drunk on Christmas Eve that he forgets what presents he’s got himself.

    #270856
    Dave
    Participant

    ROARING LOG FIRE

    Festive Red Dwarf special in which Craig Charles burns all remaining existing copies of The Log: A Dwarfer’s Guide To Everything, by popular demand.

    #270857
    Dave
    Participant

    A CHRISTMAS CATROLL

    Festive Red Dwarf special in which Danny John-Jules attempts to recreate his initial acrobatic entrance in ‘The End’, spraining his ankle and suffering a neck injury, after other drunk members of the cast and crew egg him on.

    #270858
    Dave
    Participant

    KRYSTMAS

    Festive Red Dwarf special in which Kryten suffers another mid-life crisis, this time believing himself to be the son of god, and insisting that Lister, Rimmer and Cat act the part of the three wise men at his nativity.

Viewing 100 posts - 12,401 through 12,500 (of 12,587 total)
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