Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[cwickham]

DIMENSION GUMP

Rimmer discovers an alternate dimension where he beat Tom Hanks to an Oscar-winning role.

[cwickham]

DIMENSION HUMP

Rimmer discovers an alternate dimension where he has the hump.

[cwickham]

DIMENSION TUBTHUMP

Rimmer discovers an alternate dimension where he was the lead singer of Chumbawumba.

[cwickham]

DAIMENSION JUMP

Rimmer discovers an alternate dimension where he is either Welsh, or made of chocolate, but it’s hard to tell.

[cwickham]

HAIMENSION JUMP

Rimmer discovers an alternate dimension where he is inexplicably part of the lineup for a pop rock group made up of sisters.

[cwickham]

LIME TENSION JUMP

Rimmer discovers an alternate dimension where he uses fruit as a way of causing friction.

[cwickham]

MIMENSION JUMP

Rimmer discovers an alternate dimension where he is a mime artist.

[Dave]

A CHAP LIKE YOU CAN TURN A GUY DEAD

Rimmer meets Death and knees him in the bollocks.

[Dave]

STOKE MY CLIPPER WE’RE ON PAGE 115

Rimmer tries and fails to remember the Idea For An Episode new page catchphrase.

[cwickham]

TRIMENSION JUMP

Rimmer enters three different parallel universes at once.

[cwickham]

TRIOMINO JUMP

Rimmer gets very excited upon discovering a variation of the domino in Red Dwarf’s toy cupboard.

[cwickham]

DOLMIO JUMP

Rimmer decides to have pasta for supper.

[si]

SI MENTIONS TRUMP

I just farted.

Oh, and something happens in Red Dwarf.

[Dave]

NO IT’S NOT, PETERSEN TROLLED ME

Lister is distraught to discover that the person abusing him online is none other than his best friend.

[Dave]

NO IT’S NOT, PETERSEN BOWLED ME

Lister plays cricket with his best mate.

[Dave]

NO IT’S NOT, PETERSEN SOLD ME

Shockwaves reverberate around Red Dwarf when its catering officer turns out to be masterminding a people-trafficking ring.

[Dave]

NO IT’S NOT, PETERSEN CONTROLLED ME

Rimmer explains why he punched himself in the bollocks.

[Jenuall]

NO! IT’S NOT? PETERSEN, HOLD ME

Lister receives some news that shocks him and needs to be comforted by his friend Petersen

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

NO, IT’S THIS KNOT. NOW PETERSEN, SCOLD ME

Lister teaches his friend Petersen how to safely tie him up and verbally abuse him as a demonstration a variety of sexual fetishes.

[Dave]

NO, IT’S KNOT

Rimmer tries to convince Cassandra that his name isn’t Rimmer.

[Dave]

NOT IT’S NOT PEMBERTON TOLD ME

Lister insists to Kochanski that their relationship is not over, following sage advice from a friend.

[Dave]

NO IT’S NOT, PETE TRANTER’S SISTER FOOLED ME

Lister regrets being seduced by a psiren.

[Jenuall]

NO IT’S NOT, PETE PART TWO SOLD ME

Craig Charles denies that making series VIII was a bad idea and it was in fact the commonly derided shit dinosaur episode which convinced him to dive in to production

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

NO IT’S NOT, PETER’S HEN MAULD ME

Lister corrects Rimmer’s assumption that he has been jabbing himself in the left with a compass again, and in the process highlights why pets aren’t allowed aboard space ships.

[Jenuall]

NO STAR KNOT, SKIPPER WON OLD BEAN

Doug explains to a colleague that after an internal poll the series XII final episode title has been officially changed

[cwickham]

SMITIE TV

Kryten is smited by God for profiting from the sexual exploitation of women without their consent.

[Dave]

NO, IT’S SNOT, PETERSEN TOLD ME

Lister tells Kryten what he expects to see when he opens his handkerchief and looks at the contents.

[Dave]

NO IT’S HOT, PETERSEN TOLD ME

Lister doesn’t believe that it’s cold outside, despite the lack of any kind of atmosphere.

[Dave]

NO HISLOP, PAUL MERTON TOLD ME

Lister finds out that the usual panel won’t be present on tonight’s HIGNFY.

[cwickham]

SPITIE TV

Kryten uses a hidden camera show to get revenge on his enemies for the pettiest, most spiteful of reasons.

[cwickham]

SPITALFIELDS TV

Kryten reports live from Bethnal Green.

[Dave]

OFFICER PETERSEN

Through a convoluted series of events, Petersen is promoted to officer and relocated to the Drive Room. Unfortunately, before the debacle can be resolved a nuclear explosion wipes out the entire crew.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

OFFICER PETERSEN PART TWO

A drunk Petersen breaks into supplies, eats all the ice cream and drinks all the coke and shits everywhere.

[Dave]

PETERSONIA

The One Where Everyone’s Petersen.

[Dave]

PSETERSENS

The crew are attacked by sinister shape-shifting creatures that can disguise themselves as Mark Williams.

[Dave]

PETERSEN OF CLICHÉ

21st century viewers suggest that the character of Petersen was a bit of a lazy stereotype.

[si]

PETERSEN OF CLOCHE

Petersen becomes a regular visitor to the popular* potty mouthed Red Dwarf fansite Ganymede & Titan.

*meh, why not?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THANKS FOR THE PETERSEN

Chapter title for that one bit in Balance of Power where Rimmer has Petersen’s arm.

[Dave]

YOU SAW ME PETERSEN DIE!

It turns out it wasn’t Bexley that died in the drive room, it was Red Dwarf’s heroic catering officer.

[Warbodog]

OLAF TRACK

Mark Williams records in-character commentaries for every episode of Red Dwarf except Back to Earth and the extended episodes of series VII.

[Jenuall]

CANNED OLAF-TER

A catering mix up results in Petersen being sealed inside a giant food container

[Dave]

“PUB?” AH, YES

Kryten initially doesn’t recognise what a pub looks like because apparently in Red Dwarf’s universe they change their appearance dramatically every few years.

[Dave]

AIGBURTH ARMS

Description of a specific injury that pool players get when they try to take shots on a table that’s surrounded by abraisive chains.

[Dave]

LAV-POOL

Special futuristic version of pool where you try and pot balls in a toilet.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

GRAVY-POOL

In what is widely accepted as trying too hard create quirky futuristic sports, pool with the balls suspended in a lake of gravy causes fans to question how the Red Dwarf universe got to this.

[Dave]

GRAN-POOL

The Aigburth Arms octogenarian pool tournament gets under way.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

GRAVEL-POOL

In the future, pool tables are covered in a layer of gravel to further up the stakes.

[Dave]

GRAV-POO

The Aigburth Arms Zero-G toilet facilities enable patrons to piss up the wall to infinity.

[Dave]

GRAV AD LACKS

Customers who order the Aigburth Arms’ salmon special get a token that allows them to play Grav-Pool without being interrupted by advertisements every ten minutes.

[Dave]

GRAV-POOH

Winnie the Pooh escapes being executed by switching off the Waxworld planet’s gravity at the last minute so that the firing squad’s bullets miss.

[Author]

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