Home › Forums › Ganymede & Titan Forum › Idea for an episode. Search for: This topic has 12,946 replies, 94 voices, and was last updated 1 day, 3 hours ago by Unrumble. Scroll to bottom Viewing 50 posts - 12,801 through 12,850 (of 12,947 total) 1 2 3 … 256 257 258 259 Author Posts November 19, 2022 at 9:45 pm #279682 DaveParticipant FUCK MY ARSE WE’RE (FINALLY) ON PAGE 257 The Idea For An Episode thread gets a bit of its old momentum back. November 19, 2022 at 9:45 pm #279683 cwickhamParticipant Fuck my arse we’re on the two hundred and fifty-seventh page November 19, 2022 at 9:45 pm #279684 cwickhamParticipant Should I post another Maths in the Red now November 19, 2022 at 9:48 pm #279685 DaveParticipant Should I post another Maths in the Red now November 19, 2022 at 11:13 pm #279687 Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day nowParticipant KRISTINE ADAMSKI Kochanski achieves a No.1 hit in collaboration with Seal. November 20, 2022 at 10:12 pm #279708 cwickhamParticipant BETTER DEAD THAN SPECTATOR Rimmer receives praise from a contributor to a right-wing magazine. November 20, 2022 at 11:12 pm #279709 Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day nowParticipant BETTER DEAD THAN PHIL SPECTOR Rimmer receives praise from a disgraced former producer in the music industry who’s a bit dodgy. November 27, 2022 at 12:48 am #279977 RudolphParticipant BETTER DEAD THAN REV Rimmer finally gets his own sitcom, as the world’s first dead Vicar. November 30, 2022 at 7:11 am #280150 FormicaParticipant LISTER IN KOCHANSKI Unproduced VIII episode where Lister uses the sexual magnetism virus on Kochanski, which miraculously even the Doug Naylor of 1999 realised might be beyond the pale and had locked in a safe. LISTER IN KOCHANSKI After the successful IVF depicted in Ouroboros, December 5, 2022 at 6:51 pm #280326 cwickhamParticipant THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE SUPPLY CLOSET ON B DECK Unproduced 1990 Christmas special where Kryten discovers Narnia in the titular closet and it later turns out to be the result of a malfunctioning holodeck. December 5, 2022 at 6:52 pm #280327 cwickhamParticipant PRINCE CHARISMA Unproduced 1991 Christmas special where Confidence comes back and asks Lister for his help in defeating the Telmarines. December 5, 2022 at 6:53 pm #280328 cwickhamParticipant THE VOYAGE TO TRIP-OUT CITY OF THE DAWN TREADER Unproduced 1992 Christmas special where Rimmer reads a C.S. Lewis book and unwittingly eats a load of magic mushrooms. December 5, 2022 at 6:54 pm #280329 cwickhamParticipant THE SILVER-ELECTED CHAIRPERSON Unproduced 1993 Christmas special where the Polymorph comes back, but I’m not really familiar enough with the plots of the Narnia books at this point. December 5, 2022 at 6:56 pm #280330 cwickhamParticipant THE HORSES AND HORSES AND HIS BOY Unproduced 1994 Christmas special where Lister finally makes it to Fiji and learns of the Prince of Calormen’s plan to attack Archenland. December 5, 2022 at 6:56 pm #280331 cwickhamParticipant THE MAGIC BAG’S NEPHEW Unproduced 1997 Christmas special which is all Lister’s delusional dream. December 5, 2022 at 6:58 pm #280332 cwickhamParticipant I’M ALONE IN SPACE WITH A MAN WHO’D LOSE THE LAST BATTLE WITH A STUFFED IGUANA Unproduced 2000 Christmas special where Rimmer is denied entrance into Heaven whilst everyone else is killed horribly. December 5, 2022 at 7:46 pm #280334 DaveParticipant ARNOLD AND THE GENIE Rowan Atkinson and Lenny Henry guest-star in this festive special in which Rimmer finds an ancient lamp and, well, you can kind of guess the rest. December 5, 2022 at 7:54 pm #280335 Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day nowParticipant THE PROBLEM OF ARNOLD AND OTHER STORIES Short story by Neil Gaiman in which Rimmer becomes a lecturer and poses the question to his class of why he was denied entrance into Heaven and forced to live on whilst everyone else was killed horribly. And then everyone is killed horribly but it’s a dream? Idk I never read any Neil Gaiman. December 11, 2022 at 10:10 pm #280449 cwickhamParticipant YOUR SAUSAGE ROLLS NOW COVER SEVEN-EIGHTHS OF THE WORLD’S SURFACE Unproduced 2022 Christmas special where the Dwarfers make it back to Earth in time for Christmas, but decide to go back to deep space three million years in the future after discovering what the Christmas number one has been for the previous four years. December 12, 2022 at 12:03 am #280451 Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day nowParticipant MISTLETOE AND WINE, IT’S NEVER BEER IS IT IT’S ALWAYS WINE Unproduced 2022 Christmas special where Lister’s bemoaning the seasonal beverage of choice is a source of tension for the Dwarfers. And then Cliff Richard shows up and sings a bit. December 12, 2022 at 6:12 am #280456 peepingsignalParticipant ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS BLUE MIDGET Unproduced 2022 Christmas special where the Dwarfers find that famous Mariah Carey song is still charting three million years later. December 12, 2022 at 7:11 am #280458 Quinn: Clochebusters World ChampionParticipant STOP THE CANNARIES The Dwarfers find Joan Lewie in stasis aboard an abandoned derelict in an unproduced series VIII Christmas special. December 12, 2022 at 7:28 am #280459 DaveParticipant RIMMER Melancholy Joni Mitchell Christmas number in which she bafflingly wishes she could skate away on Red Dwarf’s second technician. December 12, 2022 at 7:55 am #280460 Quinn: Clochebusters World ChampionParticipant THE LAST CHRISTMAS The crew receive word that Kryten is to be replaced with an upgrade in the form of Robotic Santa. But he’s gone insane. Meanwhile, Lister donates his heart to Cat, who give it to a GELF the very next day. December 12, 2022 at 7:56 am #280461 Quinn: Clochebusters World ChampionParticipant GELFDOF Bob Geldof appears on Red Dwarf as a GELF and spends 30mins running around shouting “give us your fucking money” whilst turning the crews pockets inside out looking for some change. December 12, 2022 at 8:23 am #280466 UnrumbleParticipant MISTLETOE AND WINE, IT’S NEVER BEER IS IT IT’S ALWAYS WINE Unproduced 2022 Christmas special where Lister’s bemoaning the seasonal beverage of choice is a source of tension for the Dwarfers. And then Cliff Richard shows up and sings a bit. December 12, 2022 at 8:23 am #280467 peepingsignalParticipant RED CHRISTMAS A big-budget adaptation of the Mobisode. Brian Blessed plays Father Christmas. Andy Serkis plays all the reindeer. December 12, 2022 at 9:16 am #280472 DaveParticipant MISTLETOE AND WINE, IT’S NEVER BEER IS IT IT’S ALWAYS WINE Unproduced 2022 Christmas special where Lister’s bemoaning the seasonal beverage of choice is a source of tension for the Dwarfers. And then Cliff Richard shows up and sings a bit. December 12, 2022 at 9:26 am #280473 DaveParticipant ONCE IN ROYAL DAVID’S CITY Christmas special in which the other Dwarfers make Lister king for a day, and take him on a festive trip to Lunar City Seven. December 12, 2022 at 9:13 pm #280486 Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day nowParticipant RED CHRISTMAS A big-budget adaptation of the Mobisode. Brian Blessed plays Father Christmas. Andy Serkis plays all the reindeer. And Lister is conspicuously not played by Craig Charles, but in fact a body double dubbed by Chris. December 17, 2022 at 12:15 pm #280622 RidleyParticipant DOES HE KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS? With Christmas just hours away, Kryten has a stroke from the stresses of the season. As the mech is the only one who gives sincere presents, the Dwarfers upload themselves into Kryten’s brain to restore his shattered memory. Their efforts are soon complicated by the Divadroid Premium sub trial running out, so they are then forced to navigate a gauntlet of unskippable ads in that shonky Smyths animation style. After the crew learn the true meaning of Christmas, Kryten is euthanised with a Paw Patrol backpack. December 17, 2022 at 4:36 pm #280628 UnrumbleParticipant euthanised with a Paw Patrol backpack. This was even more unexpected than ice-skating mongooses dancing the Bolero December 23, 2022 at 12:28 pm #280792 WarbodogParticipant RED DWARF: EXISTENCE GIRLS Perv-pandering spin-off reimagining the sexy horses from Gunmen of the Apocalypse as high school girls. December 23, 2022 at 2:59 pm #280797 cwickhamParticipant SMEGGY CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN Unproduced Christmas special from 1996 where Kryten falls down the garbage chute and awakens wearing an old Santa hat and beard that were among the waste, causing him to believe he is Santa Claus. Never produced as guest star Jon Pertwee died the day before filming began. December 23, 2022 at 3:02 pm #280798 cwickhamParticipant THE FLIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS Unproduced claymation Christmas special from 1998 where Lister drinks seventeen pints of his home-made mulled wine on Christmas Eve and crashes Starbug on a snow planet. Never produced when it was pointed out the script was just Marooned with some scenes Tippexed out. December 23, 2022 at 3:05 pm #280799 cwickhamParticipant SMEGGY THE SNOWMAN Unproduced Christmas special from 1992 where the heating on board Red Dwarf fails and snow and ice starts to form on B-Deck, then everyone has a snowman-building contest, but the DNA machine comes back and brings the snowmen to life. Not produced when it was pointed out it didn’t make sense. December 23, 2022 at 4:25 pm #280802 Quinn: Clochebusters World ChampionParticipant THE KNIGHT FROM THE AR MACHINE BEFORE CHRISTMAS A knight from the AR machine escapes and ruins everyones Christmas. What a tosser. December 23, 2022 at 4:27 pm #280803 Quinn: Clochebusters World ChampionParticipant CASSANTA Christmas special in which a future seeing Santa Claus is killed by Lister. December 23, 2022 at 4:29 pm #280804 Quinn: Clochebusters World ChampionParticipant TINSEL TO RIDE Desperate to decorate Starbug for Christmas, Lister convinces the crew to travel back to the 20th century and buy some, inadvertently killing Santa Claus in the process. December 23, 2022 at 5:08 pm #280806 DaveParticipant SANTICA When rogue simulant Jehovah’s Witnesses go back in time to eradicate Christmas, the Dwarfers must travel back and restore Father Christmas to his rightful place in the hearts and minds of children everywhere. Guest starring Nick Frost. December 23, 2022 at 5:10 pm #280807 DaveParticipant A CHRISTMAS CAROL Festive Brittas Empire crossover in which Ace Rimmer discovers that in another dimension he runs a leisure centre with a receptionist who needs a bit of cheering up at Christmas. December 23, 2022 at 5:12 pm #280808 DaveParticipant GOOD PRINCE WENCESLAS Festive Prince Among Men crossover in which Ace Rimmer discovers that in another dimension he is a footballer in a charity panto. December 23, 2022 at 5:12 pm #280809 DaveParticipant GOOD KING WENCESLAG Alternative festive ending to Dear Dave. December 23, 2022 at 5:45 pm #280811 cwickhamParticipant HERE WE COME A-SMEGGING Unproduced Christmas special from 1990 where Lister gets really pissed. Grant Naylor claimed no knowledge of the script, leading to suspicions it was a ploy to get free drinks on the part of Craig Charles. December 23, 2022 at 9:17 pm #280817 FormicaParticipant SANTASARA The gang are baffled Christmas morning when they find that Kryten is the only one to have received a lump of coal in his stocking, the rest receiving gifts. Most generously of all, Lister has received forty years’ supply of curries, including five thousand bottles of curry sauce, seven hundred curry sandwiches, four hundred curry pastas, eighty-five hundred curry lagers, nine hundred curry toasts, four hundred curry pizzas, fifteen hundred curry teas, and a dwina curry. Suspicion heightens when the bullet-riddled body of Marlon Brando is found on G-Deck. A Kryten best guess concludes that Santa’s naughty and nice lists were reversed by Marlon Brando, knowing that Lister had to kill him, and in his kind and merciful heart he didn’t want Lister to suffer the consequences of his inevitable actions. A post-credit scene shows Santa cackling evilly, swapping his own lists as he cocks his gun and aims it around the corner at Marlon Brando. December 23, 2022 at 11:10 pm #280819 Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day nowParticipant Wait a minute… Marlon Brando was stabbed, not shot. December 24, 2022 at 12:17 am #280821 cwickhamParticipant I’M FEELING TRAGIC LIKE I’M MARLON BRANDO Marlon Brando meets Lister, and despairs at knowing his imminent fate. December 24, 2022 at 7:49 am #280827 DaveParticipant THE BRANDOLORIAN A resurrected Marlon Brando dons a metal suit and helmet and sets off across the universe to find Lister and avenge his murder. December 24, 2022 at 12:36 pm #280831 Flap JackParticipant GIVE & RECEIVE – Lister unwraps his Christmas present from Snacky, and is surprised to see that it’s a new kidney. Lister asks where he got it from, and Snacky replies “Why, I went back in time and took it from you! It’s the only thing I know you like!”. Lister realises that’s why he’s been feeling like shit for the whole of December, and they all have a good laugh about it. Unfortunately, Snacky didn’t store the kidney correctly, and unbeknownst to him it got infected, so Lister dies shortly after they transplant it back into him. December 24, 2022 at 12:39 pm #280832 cwickhamParticipant IT’S A THIN LINE BETWEEN GIVE AND TAKE Give & Take, but Snacky is now dubbed by Chrissie Hynde. Author Posts Viewing 50 posts - 12,801 through 12,850 (of 12,947 total) 1 2 3 … 256 257 258 259 Scroll to top • Scroll to Recent Forum Posts You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Log In Username: Password: Keep me signed in Log In