Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Warbodog]

OURSAMORSARA

Deb Lister’s origin story, interrupted in the middle by a tedious conversation with Dog about whatever the female version of Archimedes would be called.

[Warbodog]

PANASONIC

Sorting through supplies from Kochanski’s ship, Lister’s astounded to see the word ‘Panasonic’ on one of the crates, which Kryten explains used to contain batteries. “Panasonic! It wasn’t ‘Pan or Sonic,’ it was ‘Panasonic!'” Lister exclaims, then shares his theory with his shipmates. They don’t look convinced, and even he realises how ludicrously far-fetched and grasping it sounds, but he still abandons his newborn child in a pub just in case.

[Dave]

KRYSIS LEAK

Extensive three-hour documentary investigating that time that UKTV Play accidentally put an episode of Red Dwarf XI online a day before they should have done.

[cwickham]

LIFT OFF

All the lifts on board Red Dwarf break down.

[cwickham]

PIE AND LOW

The triplicator is brought back and manages to make a version of Red Dwarf made entirely from pie.

[cwickham]

HIGH AND MOE

The triplicator is brought back and manages to make a version of Red Dwarf where all the crew look like a character from The Simpsons.

[cwickham]

HIGH AND PO

Crossover episode with the Teletubbies.

[cwickham]

BAR KNOT

Spin-off featuring Warden Knot, who has set up his own bar.

[cwickham]

RRRAARRRR!!!! KNOT

After disappointing ratings for Bar Knot, it is retooled for its second series to introduce Pete as a regular character.

[Dave]

BYE-BYE, BYE-BYE, RIMMER-RIMMER

Lister gets dementia and starts repeating himself uncontrollably.

[cwickham]

EVERY DOG…

Episode that features every dog known to exist at the time of recording. People query if it is actually an episode of Red Dwarf.

[cwickham]

BACKWARDS FORWARDS BACKWARDS FORWARDS BACKWARDS FORWARDS BACKWARDS FORWARDS BACKWARDS FORWARDS

Backwards Forwards Backwards Forwards Backwards Forwards Backwards Forwards Backwards, but the title card is so big it goes off the screen.

[cwickham]

BACK ON THE DEATHBED

Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

[cwickham]

THE ENDOCRACY

Rimmer travels back in time to Red Dwarf 12 hours before the radiation leak is due to wipe out the crew, and he calls an election to decide who should get the last stasis booth. Everybody evacuates the ship instead, and Rimmer is elected unopposed. However, as the human Rimmer was amongst the evacuees, hologram Rimmer’s existence is negated by the paradox and he is erased from history.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE ENDOSCOPY

Kryten performs an endoscopy on Lister after he complains of stomach cramps. As it turns out it wasn’t necessary and he just needs to have his appendix out, AGAIN!

[Dave]

THE ENDLESS

Lister becomes a big fan of Sandman comics.

Issue #8 gives him great reassurance when a BEGG chokes to death.

[bloodteller]

BEAT THE FENUGREEK

lister punches some herbs.

[cwickham]

BEAT THE GREEK

Race against time to see who crashes out of the EU first.

[cwickham]

BACK IN THE RED PART SIX

Doug has an idea when he only has a week to write Series XIII.

[cwickham]

WAVETIME

Everyone goes surfing, although it is not explained how this is possible when they are nowhere near the sea.

[cwickham]

RIMMER OFFICER

Rimmer is charged under Space Corps Directive 316239 for sexually assaulting a superior officer.

[cwickham]

WORM OF CANS

The Cat breaks his teeth attempting to eat Archie.

[cwickham]

RIDE TO TIKKA

The Dwarfers all take a pony-ride from one end of the ship to the other, as they’ve heard there’s a curry there.

[cwickham]

POWER OF BALANCE

Lister discovers he is extremely good at keeping things balanced in the air for long periods of time.

[cwickham]

RED IN THE BACK

The crew all suffer from sunburn.

[Pete Part Three]

ARCHIE NAN

Archie the penis returns home after his travels to look after his dear old Nan. She’s a vagina. Obviously.

[Pete Part Three]

PARALLEL 9 UNIVERSE

The crew materialise on a version of Earth where Saturday kids TV show Parallel 9 was actually popular, as opposed to being considered a mediocre substitute for Going Live.

[Dave]

POMPHREY DANCE AND PARANOIA

At the wrap party for Red Dwarf Series III, the show’s lighting director gets a bit tipsy and does a little shimmy when one of his favourite songs is played by the DJ. However, the next morning he regrets the whole thing and hopes no-one remembers or comments on it.

[Pete Part Three]

PARALLEL PARALLEL UNIVERSE

The crew head back to the parallel universe where Hilly has just invented the Hilly Hop Drive. The crew decide to use it to see what will happen, and end up back where they started. The episode ends 27 minutes early as a consequence, so UKTV demand some of the budget back. Doug hightails it to Mexico.

[Pete Part Three]

BETTER THAN LIFE ON MARS

My name is Arnold Rimmer. I had an accident, and I woke up in 3 millions years from Earth. Am I dead, composed entirely of light, or a can of spam? Whatever’s happened, it’s like I’ve landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home.

[Pete Part Three]

BETTER THAN ASHES TO ASHES

That wouldn’t be difficult.

[cwickham]

BETTER THAN THE AMERICAN VERSION OF LIFE ON MARS

Actually a repeat of Timewave.

[cwickham]

WAVY TIME

Time goes all wavy. This turns out to be down to a drug trip rather than a science-fiction phenomenon.

[cwickham]

GRAVY TIME

Lister decides it’s time to have some gravy.

[Warbodog]

CREIGHTIE TV

Bruce D. Arthurs is at it again, submitting a suspiciously familiar script to the Thunderbirds Are Go! team in which Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward, apparently her name, is reprogrammed by Kyrano to film the women in the shower, even though the only other female on the programme is his own daughter. Meanwhile, Virgil cuts off some of his pubic hair and puts it on The Hood’s soap. The plagiarist is finally rumbled.

[Warbodog]

KYRANOSIS

Bruce D. Arthurs tries again, but Thunderbirds security chucks him out onto the street and his script pages flutter away in the breeze.

[Warbodog]

BROWN WOWZERS TIME

A lifelong Red Dwarf fan discovers shockingly late that Chris Barrie isn’t Chris Barrie’s real name.

[Warbodog]

TERENCEINFORM

Someone points out that Mac McDonald isn’t Mac McDonald’s real name either, but the Red Dwarf fan already knew, assumed or just didn’t really care about that one.

[Pete Part Three]

MAC MCDONALD HAD A FARM

E-I-E-I-O

[cwickham]

BUSTICE

Justice, but with one letter spelled wrong.

[Warbodog]

SCOOPER

Lister sets up a litter tray in the sleeping quarters to discourage Cat from doing his business in their shoes. Cat’s naturally too lazy to clean up after himself, so Lister climbs down from the bunk every time he hears vigorous scratching, picks up the plastic scoop and watches disinterestedly as the squatting Cat curls one out. Widely regarded as something of a ‘jump the shark’ episode.

[cwickham]

GINMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE

The Dwarfers get so blind drunk they think the end of days is coming.

[cwickham]

REPPIKS

The Dwarfers discover a universe where, whatever choice they make, it happens.

[cwickham]

THE END PART TWO

Lister comes out of stasis and shits everywhere.

[cwickham]

TERRORFORM

Mechocracy, but with only two letters spelled correctly.

[cwickham]

MIMEWAVE

Mime becomes the latest craze, and takes Red Dwarf by storm.

[cwickham]

TOKE ME A KIPPER

Lister uses a fish as a cigarette.

[Warbodog]

DNADFHGJHBDFNGBFGNHMNBNVBMNBFNBDCVNCNFGDHFHRNGFNWRJCGHEICRCNGHC

The galley prepares a giant vat of alphabetti spaghetti to lube up cwickham’s arsehole in preparation for fifth page celebrations.

[cwickham]

TIMEWAVE REMASTERED

A really unfunny joke appears in text form at the end of the episode, explaining how the Dwarfers escaped from the Enconium, except this is actually considered to improve the episode.

[cwickham]

STAKE ME A KIPPER

Ace Rimmer is revealed to be a vampire.

[Author]

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