Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Warbodog]

ME², PART 2

“Drive Room, ten minutes” is hilariously repeated six times.

[Warbodog]

QUEEG, PART 2

“We’ve only been doing it ten minutes” is hilariously repeated six times.

[Warbodog]

THE INQUISITOR, PART 2

“How long before he unfreezes? Ten minutes?” is hilariously repeated six times.

[Warbodog]

TERRORFORM, PART 2

“Ten minutes before they burn out” is hilariously repeated six times.

[Warbodog]

GUNMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE, PART 2

“Ten minutes.” “Sir!” is hilariously repeated six times.

[Warbodog]

CASSANDRA, PART 2

“Ten minutes even?” is hilariously repeated six times.

[Warbodog]

PETE, PART 1, PART 2

“She’s amazing, nought to sixty in under ten minutes” is hilariously repeated six times.

[Warbodog]

PETE, PART 2, PART 2

“There’s a mouse under here, its been scuttling around for about ten minutes” is hilariously repeated six times.

[Warbodog]

ONLY THE GOOD, PART 2

“Cell inspection in ten minutes” is hilariously repeated six times and why aren’t I banned yet?

[Dave]

FIND & PASTE

A deranged medical droid combs through Red Dwarf scripts to find all mentions of the phrase “ten minutes” before removing them and pasting them on a forum.

Kryten, upon reading the thread, copies the script excerpts and takes them back in time to read them to Doug Naylor in the mid-eighties.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

FIND AND PASTE PART 2

Behind the scenes look at how Doug wrote a lot of series XII

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE DVD

Kryten releases the full uncut version of his shower spying on an old, outdated format since replaced by VHS

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE TB

Kryten gives out Tuberculosis shots to the prisoners in the tank

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE VD

Archie breaks free again and starts infecting the crew.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE CD

Kryten releases a CD of popular hits, sung by himself with backing from the Canaries.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTEN CE

Kryten has decided to define himself as being built in the common era.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE FC

Kryten starts a football club with other tank inmates.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE PC

Kryten disassembles himself and uses the components to build a PC so the inmates watch all the porn they desire.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE PC II

Kryten becomes a police officer, and starts beating all the inmates with his truncheon.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE PC III

Kryten becomes very politically correct … we all know where this is leading :-o

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE WC

Kryten disassembles himself and uses the component parts to build a working lavatory, but who’ll clean it?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE QC

Kryten becomes a lawyer. Which is basically just a rehash of the Jusice court scene, but with a mop wig, which is just a rehash of the Back in the Red Part 2 scene, which is just a rehash of the Emohawk scene, which is just a rehash of Back to Reality, which is rehashed in Back to Earth, which is just a rehash of Blade Runner, which is a rehash of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?.

So really, it’s all Philip K. Dick’s fault!

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE WB

Kryten goes into a wine bar!

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE PC IIII

Kryten joins the Peace Corps and goes to live in Rwanda for 2 years. Which doesn’t exist anymore.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTEN AC

Kryten turns his heat exhaust valve into a cooling system to fan Lister down whilst he sleeps during the hot summer nights.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE PC V

Kryten comes out as Pro-Choice … which is just a rehash of that scene from Mechocracy.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE DC

Kryten becomes the capital of the USA, which doesn’t exist anymore.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE FT

Kryten starts a news paper that quickly becomes a popular broadsheet reporting on the economy. I say popular, the crew just needed a new source of toilet paper.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE GW

Kryten posts very revealing photos of himself to a now defunct web forum where no-one will see them, because everybody is dead.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE CC

Kryten starts providing close captions of everything he says on his chest monitor for the hard of hearing.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE MS

An episode supposed to explore the difficulties of living with MS, but misfired when it is revealed Kryten is the one to develop the disease, resulting in Kryten adopting very offensive body movements on top of his android walk which the studio audience find hysterical but ultimately leads to the burning down of GNP offices by fans for managing to create an episode for offensive and insensitive than Timewave.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE M&S

Kryten opens a supermarket in the tank for the inmates.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTIE M&Ms

Kryten opens a bag of M&Ms but spills them everywhere because he has just large, rubbery hands.

[Ian Symes]

THE QUINN DILEMMA

G&T Admin ponders finally killing this bloody thread now that the number of active participants is down to one.

[bloodteller]

SEE YA IN TEN MILKSHAKES

Hollister orders for Rimmer and Lister to be blended in a turbine, and then their remains served across 10 different flavored milkshakes. Unfortunately he makes the mistake of drinking one and contracts a prion disease from the infected protein. Even in death Rimmer and Lister won’t stop screwing his life up

[bloodteller]

BEAN JAR IN TEN MIDSHIPS

10 versions of the baked beans scene from Emohawk, all played at once

[Pete Part Three]

CLOUT OF SYMES

The participants in the World’s smeggiest forum thread are visited by the Site Admin, who threatens to finally nuke the thing. One of the contributors ponders whether there may be

[cwickham]

THE BRYN DILEMMA

Crossover with Gavin & Stacey, which ends with them blowing up James Corden. This is actually achieved in real life and Doug is awarded a Nobel Prize.

[cwickham]

THE MIGHTY QUINN DILEMMA

Lister decides to clone Manfred Mann.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SYMESARA

I’m his threat to nuke a much loved forum thread, site admin Ian Symes is vaporised by the forums karma drive. A revolution takes hold and The Mighty Quinn rises to power, but was it an accident?

Meanwhile, Cat spends the afternoon preparing some scathing insults to use “spontaneously” use next time he is in the room with Rimmer.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SYMESWAVE

Johnny Vegas dressed as a pink police officer arrests site admin Ian Symes for criticism.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

IANQUISITOR

Site admin Ian Symes travels throughout all of space and time removing forum users who have not posted worthy comments, replacing them with people that were never given a chance to post.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TERRORFORUM

A fan lands in an Internet forum and begins to mold it to their own terrifying psychy of horrible pub based episode titles.

[bloodteller]

>horrible pub based episode titles.

RIMMERWORLD OF PUB

Dodgy Phil cooks up a scheme to improve the pub by making it a theme pub based entirely around Arnold Rimmer from sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf. Unfortunately it is instantly burned down by the Cat in an arson attack

[Warbodog]

REALTIMESLIDES

Obsessively nitpicky fan edit series that makes any mentions of time intervals in Red Dwarf episodes correspond exactly to those times, either by cutting to stock fly-bys or just freezing the image and waiting.

Finally corrects continuity errors such as Kryten claiming to have been away for “two minutes” when he was actually only gone 36 seconds. The drawback is that some episodes such as ‘Rimmerworld’ and ‘The End’ are now too long to be watched in a normal human lifespan.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TIMESHARES

A time share in the Bahamas has mutated and anyone visiting can travel back in time. But everyone is dead so no one noticed.

Meanwhile, nothing of consequence happen to the crew aboard Red Dwarf. It’s night time and everyone is sleeping.

[cwickham]

RIMMERWORLD OF LEATHER

It is discovered holograms are made from leather, not light. Tens of thousands of fans march on Doug’s home as a result of this baffling continuity error.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

RIMMERWORLD OF HEATHER

In responses to fans angry response to the leather bombshell, especially from the vegan lobby, Doug reveals in the next series that due to some weird space phenomena, Rimmer is actually made our of Heather Flower.

[Dave]

HIDE EAR FOR AN EPISODE

Series XIII, Episode 1: the entire cast wear earmuffs.

[Dave]

RIDE DEER FOR AN EPISODE

Series XIII, Episode 2: the entire cast turn up on the back of hoofed mammals.

[Author]

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