Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Dave]

EYE DEAR FOR AN EPISODE

Series XIII, Episode 3: the entire cast have their eyes insured for $£1 million each.

[Dave]

CRIMEA FOR AN EPISODE

Series XIII, Episode 4: Doug finds a cheap place to do some location shooting.

[Dave]

DIARRHOEA FOR AN EPISODE

Series XIII, Episode 5: the entire cast get that nasty stomach bug that’s been going around.

[Dave]

PIONEER FOR AN EPISODE

Series XIII, Episode 6: the crew of Red Dwarf discover a new country. Rimmer names it ‘Planet Rimmer’, even though it’s not a planet.

[Warbodog]

IDR FOR AN EPISODE

A rich Indonesian sultan makes Doug an offer he can’t refuse (in local currency) to write a bespoke episode.

[Warbodog]

ADR FOR AN EPISODE

Rimmer steals Lister’s body again.

[Warbodog]

1D6 FOR AN EPISODE

Red Dwarf does Community’s ‘Remedial Chaos Theory.’

[Dave]

ID4 FOR AN EPISODE

Lister punches an alien and shouts “welcome to Earth”.

[Dave]

I DON’T BELIEVE IT, FOR AN EPISODE

Richard Wilson guest-stars.

[Warbodog]

UREA FOR AN EPISODE

Prequel that reveals why Billy Doyle’s coat smelled of piss.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

IC1 FOR AN EPISODE

Craig and Danny white up for an episode.

[Dave]

I SEE NO SHIPS, FOR AN EPISODE

A full thirty minutes of intercutting back and forth between the clip from Camille with Lister saying it, and the deleted scene from Only The Good with Rimmer saying it.

[Pete Part Three]

IDEA FOR ANNE EPHRUSSI

French Biologist Anne Ephrussi arrives on board and canvasses the crew on their ideas on biology, the French and French Biology. No one can come up with anything particularly interesting, so they push her out of an airlock.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

IDEA FOR AN EPIDERMIS

Prequel to the existence of the universe, and God is designing life … he has just decided skin would be a great way to layer protection onto the little human race he is creating.

One day Lister will have skin, and he is the last of the human race … so this is total relevant ok.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I’M HERE FOR AN EPISODE

Behind the scenes documentary following audience members who check into the studio on Facebook when they attend the live recording.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

QUEER FOR AN EPISODE: TIMEWAVE 2

Richard tackles Doug to the ground and locks him in the bathroom to cool down a bit, before he has even finished typing the title at the top of a blank word document.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I STEER FOR AN EPISODE

Rimmer demands to be allowed to pilot Starbug for once because why should Lister and Cat have all the fun.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

QUICK, BACK THERE, THE DNA SUITE, I’VE GOT AN IDEA FOR AN EPISODE

28mins of that one line from DNA.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

NO BEER FOR AN EPISODE

The CO2 shortage of 2018 has hit deep space 3 million years into the future, so Lister has to go tee-total for an episode.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

IDEA FOR AN EPISODE

A fan of the show innocently posts his idea for an episode to a popular fan forum, hoping for some interesting and creative discussion.

[Dave]

IDEA: FOREIGN EPISODE

Doug Naylor stretches the budget for Series XIII by having Episode 6 just be a rerun of Episode 5, but dubbed into French.

[Dave]

OH DEAR, FURRY WREN EGG EXPLODE

Kryten looks on tearfully when a bird’s nest falls out of a tree in the botanical gardens and an unborn chick’s container is smashed on the pavement.

[Dave]

OPHELIA: FOUR MEN EQUIVOCATE

When Red Dwarf puts on the ship’s production of Hamlet, everyone tries to get out of playing the love interest.

[Dave]

DNR

When Lister falls into a coma after having his genome rewritten several times by a freaky machine found in a derelict, Rimmer wonders whether or not they should attempt to restore him to consciousness.

[Dave]

DVLA

Red Dwarf heads to Swansea to renew the crew’s Starbug pilot licences.

[Dave]

DNO

When Rimmer asks a question to which Lister doesn’t know the answer, he half-grunts a mumbled response.

[Pete Part Three]

ID4 : AN EPISODE

Independence Day gets commissioned for a TV Show spin-off but doesn’t make it past the pilot episode. The aliens threaten mankind by breaking a couple of legs and doing a jigsaw.

[Dave]

ENO

Rimmer plays ‘Tubular Bells’ on constant rotation.

[Dave]

BINO

The crew decides to stay as close to the EU as possible even if they technically leave it.

[Dave]

WINO

Lister starts drinking heavily. All the time. It’s quite sad actually.

[Dave]

DINO

Pete Part Seven.

[cwickham]

CHINO

Rimmer has some new trousers.

[Dave]

PINOT

Lister goes into a wine bar again.

[Dave]

PINOCHET

: MELTDOWN II

[Dave]

RICOCHET

Kryten tries to run out of Laredo.

[Dave]

RIC OLIÉ

Ralph Brown turns up in his Star Wars costume for a crossover episode.

[Dave]

OLÉ

A bullfighter escapes from the AR machine.

[Dave]

AU LAIT

Rimmer visits France and orders a coffee with milk.

[Warbodog]

IDLE FOR AN EPISODE

Eric Idle steps into Graham Chapman’s late shoes to do the Timeslides bit, which would have made more sense in the first place, though preferably a c.1969-74 Eric Idle.

[Piplup2003]

SKIPPER II

Rimmer finds a skipping rope and combines it with morris dancing.

[Dave]

SKIPPER III: DIMENSION JUMP II

Spanners jumps in the Wildfire mk. II and travels to meet ‘our’ Lister, who (contrary to his comments in Dimension Jump) is surprised to find his other self really irritating and holier-than-thou. So he kills him and feeds him to the BEGGs.

[Warbodog]

SCHR‎ÖDINGER’S CAT

The crew find a derelict equipped with what Kryten guesses to be a Schrödinger Drive, which runs on uncertainty. It could theoretically get them back to Earth if only Cat would stop struggling and get in the damn box.

[Warbodog]

CAT’S CRADLE

Cat’s put in charge of guarding the ice-nine. Unfortunately, he turns into Duane Dibbley and spills it everywhere, instantly crystallising and killing everyone on board. What a Dibbley!

[Warbodog]

CAT O’ NINE TALES

Simulants kidnap Cat and demand to know where his human associate is. As they lash him, Cat concocts nine increasingly unbelievable stories to pass the time until his inevitable rescue at the end.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CAT³

Cat puts himself in the triplicator (forgetting about the events of Demons and Angels) thinking he’ll get two identical versions of himself to look at without the need for mirrors, but it transpires that he is actually an amalgamation of Cat Deeley and Cat Stevens, who guest star as themselves.

[Warbodog]

CATSUP3SUP

Cat invents a drink by mixing ketchup with 7Up. Power Sauce.

[Warbodog]

1UPALLUP

Compilation of all the times Cat made us visualise his pubic hair, nipples, ass, etc. It’s so erotic, everyone watching becomes instantly aroused.

[Dave]

THE TOYS FROM THE DWARF

Christmas special, guest-starring John Rhys Davies in his LOTR getup as Santa.

Lister asks for an etch-a-sketch, Rimmer a set of maths instruments, Kryten a toy dustpan and brush and Cat doesn’t understand the concept of Christmas so doesn’t get anything at all.

[Dave]

THE BUOYS FROM THE DWARF

When Lister falls into an ocean moon, the rest of the crew hurry to find the ship’s buoyancy aids.

[Dave]

THE NOISE FROM THE DWARF

Lister is playing Rastabilly Skank again.

[Author]

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