Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

Viewing 50 posts - 351 through 400 (of 13,192 total)
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  • #224105
    Hamish
    Participant

    Well that typo is unfortunate.

    #224107
    flanl3
    Participant

    BAND IN THE RED, PART ONE:

    Lister tries to clone all the members from Smeg and the Heads, but is struggling, so tries to get Kryten’s help. Meanwhile, Cat and Rimmer try but hilariously fail to flush Lister’s guitar back out into space. Will Lister be able to clone the band in time to stop them and make it to the concert he’s scheduled for next week?

    BAND IN THE RED, PART TWO:

    It turns out that the other members of Smeg and the Heads were too genetically unstable to be cloned. Can he brainwash the others to join for the concert next week? Meanwhile, Kill Crazy goes on a hilarious murderous rampage.

    BAND IN THE RED, PART THREE:

    He did it. The whole 1169 crew of Red Dwarf (they’re all holograms now and the ship’s power slowly drains permanently throughout the episode) play the Om song for 27 minutes. The opening and closing credits are replaced by the Om song for comic effect.

    #224109
    flanl3
    Participant

    WAITING FOR POD:

    The boys sit patiently around, wondering if the archives of all the old threads from the off-topic section of a forum they used to frequent will ever be published.

    #224110
    flanl3
    Participant

    STATING FOR GOD:

    The Dwarfers become religious, and start praying, but God is getting older and wants them to speak more clearly.

    #224111
    flanl3
    Participant

    SKATING FOR COD:

    Cat opens an ice rink where the entry fee is paid in fish.

    #224112
    flanl3
    Participant

    CAPTANUS’S OFFICE:

    Captain Hollister is replaced by Captain Pucker, who is quite literally just a giant anus, and keeps calling Rimmer down to his office because they get along quite well due to their major similarities.

    #224113
    flanl3
    Participant

    THE AND:

    Cat watches an educational video about conjunctions. Meanwhile, Lister, Kryten, and Rimmer point out that butter contains the word but, which is a conjunction.

    #224114
    clem
    Participant

    TWEET THE FREAK

    Cat trolls a bearded lady.

    #224123
    Rubber
    Participant

    Mac In The Dead In The Bed In The Shed

    The beloved Captain Hollister actor is forced to sleep in the outhouse when his wife discovers he’s been having an affair with George McIntyre. Meanwhile, Rimmer and Cat both want to be the racing car.

    #224127
    Rubber
    Participant

    Faces Leak

    Kochanski’s watching Now Voyager and Lister’s got rhinitis, but things turn competitive when she bets that she can cry more tears by cubic volume than he can produce snot. Meanwhile, an increasingly agitated Dr McLaren ends another difficult day by signing a rifle out of the munitions store and staring at it for several hours.

    #224130
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    FAECES LEAK

    #224131
    bloodteller
    Participant

    STASIS LEEK- lister discovers some delicious leeks in stasis. now its up to the dwarfers to eat them for supper

    #224132
    bloodteller
    Participant

    SLATING FOR GOD- lister slates God’s roof but He doesn’t think they’ve done a good job. now its up to the dwarfers to slate the roof (again)

    #224133
    flanl3
    Participant

    TRACK IN THE BED

    Lister wakes up just in time to discover that the main Red Dwarf rail line goes right through his bunk. His whole lifestyle is upended when he can’t hang around his bed during the day. He can’t move bunks since they’re still all contaminated and Kryten is off in Blue Midget searching for Kochanski because there were life signs on a planet in the solar system they’re in but they can’t figure out which one. He’ll have to spend more time in the sofa nearby, and he can’t hear the TV whenever the train passes.

    #224134
    Dave
    Participant

    ULRIKA TO RIDE

    All four Dwarfers discover that they are each simultaneously having an affair with the erstwhile star of Gladiators and Shooting Stars.

    #224135
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    MAROON FIVED

    Rimmer and Lister find themselves stranded on a snowy planet with the members of an American pop-rock band, and promptly walk out into the frozen wastes, opting to freeze to death rather than have to listen to yet another rendition of “This Love”.

    #224141
    bloodteller
    Participant

    SNACK TO REALITY- lister is playing a VR game but leaves for a bit to get some snacks

    #224152
    bloodteller
    Participant

    MMM-CORE: lister eats a whole apple, even the core!

    #224154
    Jawscvmcdia
    Participant

    RED DWARF AND THE HEDGEHOG: A Sonic the Hedgehog Red Dwarf crossover. Everybody’s favourite high-speed blue hedgehog meets the crew of Red Dwarf, with hilarious results.

    #224156
    cwickham
    Participant

    Back in the Red – Part Four: It turns out all that shit about the Tank was still a drug-induced virtual reality, and the Dwarfers wake up having just licked the envelopes at their trial. It is then revealed that Captain Hollister is a puppet being operated on strings by a giant Doug Naylor.

    #224192
    Rubber
    Participant

    Justfish

    Cat don’t need no side dishes. Meanwhile, Kryten gets really into genealogy, but his investigations uncover some surprises – is he really a direct descendent of Robert Mugabe?

    #224193
    bloodteller
    Participant

    FLIPPER- rimmer gets hold of a quantum skipper, and travels the multiverse looking for a dimension where he can finally achieve his dream of becoming a fish

    #224194
    Rubber
    Participant

    Foreignteen

    Oh god, Lister’s French exchange student is back, and this time he’s got an erection – watch out Dispenser 23! Meanwhile, Cat and Kochanski are auctioning their most fabulous ballgowns to raise money for cunted Skutters, but what’s the point when Skutters can easily be repaired and money is worthless and nobody can really be fucked to wear a beautiful dress in deep space anyway? Really, what is the fucking point? To any of it? Really? Guest starring Zayn Malik as Thibault.

    #224195
    Rubber
    Participant

    Psoriasisens

    Lister has Psoriasis. Meanwhile, Rimmer doesn’t – he’s a hologram. Guest starring Naoko Mori as Doc Wok.

    #224200
    bloodteller
    Participant

    SHITE HOLE- lister does rimmer up the arse

    #224202
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Just Ice

    Kochanski returns to Red Dwarf under the condition that Lister is a more caring fella. On her first night back, she knocks on his door and asks if he has any Diet Pepsi. Lister beckons her in, and the realises he has none left in the fridge. He jumps out of a window, dives into Starbug, traverses an asteroid storm, avoids a battle with some GELFs and finds the only vending machine in the galaxy. He gets a can of Pepsi and returns to Kochanski. He hands her the drink. “Have you got any ice?” she asks.. Freeze-fame on Listers bemused face.

    #224203
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Gripper

    Rimmer is invited to a Grange Hil school reunion (he went to lots of schools, ok?). He’s very nervous to go, as he and his best friend Roland were mercilessly picked on by Norman Stebson, the school bully. When he arrives at the reunion, he’s delighted to remember that Norman died millions of years ago. One up to Rimmsy!

    #224212
    Rubber
    Participant

    Bout Of Rhyme

    The Dwarfers find they’re trapped in verse
    They cannot stop, it’s quite the curse!
    They’re stuck in space and now in meter
    Their spacecraft is a green four-seater
    One of them is David Lister
    His timeline is quite the twister!
    Arnold Rimmer, he’s another
    Has some issues with his mother
    Cat’s another, plus Kry-tine
    Shoehorned into just one line
    This whole thing is one huge contrivance
    Meanwhile, Kochanski doesn’t know whether Todhunter would prefer her in a sexy g-string or stomach-flattening massive granny pants.

    #224214
    bloodteller
    Participant

    CRIMEWAVE- the dwarfers encounter a ship where murder is legal. one of the crewmembers attempts to kill the dwarfers, but is then beaten to death by the rest of the crew. the twist is that although murder is legal on this ship, it is not permitted and if you attempt to murder somebody you will be killed by everyone else. the episode ends with lister contemplating if a society like that could ever work.

    or you could just have an episode thats a load of bollocks about pink policemen and mildly offensive camp stereotypes

    #224217
    cwickham
    Participant

    Dimewave – the Dwarfers encounter a ship where the only legal currency is the American ten-cent coin.

    #224218
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Timesave

    Red Dwarf fans decide to save some time by not rewatching the shit episodes,

    #224219
    Rubber
    Participant

    Quipper

    The Dwarfers joke their way through a series of perilous sci-fi situations in a war which would be quite flippant and irritating in real life. Meanwhile, Kryten finally uncovers Dr McLaren’s hate drawings during a spring clean of his quarters, but does he have the psychiatric skills to evaluate the threat they could be in? Guest starring Jim Howick as Poot-Poot.

    #224223
    Dave
    Participant

    Mimewave

    In a series of unlikely coincidences, Rimmer gets trapped in an invisible box while Lister has trouble pushing an apparently immovable balloon. Meanwhile, Kryten must walk to work on a windy day while Cat starts pulling a rope with something really heavy on the end.

    #224226
    cwickham
    Participant

    Daimwave – the Dwarfers encounter a ship made of crunchy almond caramel, covered in milk chocolate.

    #224228
    Dave
    Participant

    Slimetides

    When Lister accidentally leans on the button for Starbug’s laser cannon while eating a naan bread and inadvertently destroys the moon of a planet made entirely of snot, the ebb and flow of a delicately-balanced phlegm-based ecosystem is thrown out of whack.

    #224232
    si
    Participant

    RIGHT HOLE

    Rimmer and Lister finally complete that round of golf they were playing in Blue.

    #224234
    cwickham
    Participant

    Brineslides: The Dwarfers slide on some brine.

    #224235
    flanl3
    Participant

    CRIMETIDES:

    Sequel to Crimewave.

    #224236
    flanl3
    Participant

    BEET PART TWO:

    A dinosaur eats some beets and shits purple everywhere.

    #224237
    cwickham
    Participant

    Crisis: Doug Naylor accidentally runs his Series XI scripts through a spellchecker.

    #224238
    Dave
    Participant

    CURD

    When the Boys From The Dwarf happen upon a secret research facility in which historical figures have been cloned and genetically altered so that they no longer dislike eating Lemon Curd, all is not as it seems.

    #224239
    cwickham
    Participant

    Teat Part Two: A dinosaur drinks human breast milk and shits everywhere.

    #224240
    flanl3
    Participant

    BACK TO DARTH:

    The Dwarfers discover an alternate universe where Anakin Skywalker did not die at the end of Star Wars and a major plotline in Star Wars VII was him trying to resist returning to the dark side.

    #224241
    cwickham
    Participant

    ‘U ERD: The Dwarfers discover a secret research facility where historical figures are no longer evil, but are still really rude.

    #224242
    cwickham
    Participant

    CAN OF FIRMS: The Dwarfers watch some episodes of Hyperdrive and decide to hire the services of several legal firms in response.

    #224243
    flanl3
    Participant

    JAWS PART TWO:

    Red Dwarf starts in 1997 instead of 1987.

    #224248
    bloodteller
    Participant

    LEMONS AND ANGELS: in a bizarre accident involving the rejuvenation shower and the triplicator, jesus ends up meeting the high versions of the crew. unsurprisingly they get along well, and all have a lovely time together.

    #224253
    clem
    Participant

    FLIPPER

    Lister befriends a bottlenose dolphin. Meanwhile Kryten, Cat, Snacky, Chen, Bob the skutter, the Data Doctor, the Stan Laurel waxdroid, Ackerman, and the barmaid from Backwards all beat Rimmer at table tennis. Kryten uses his hand instead of a bat, and there’s a bit where the ball goes in Ackerman’s gaping eye-socket, thus proving it is his eye-socket and not a patch like some people think. Then the dolphin beats Rimmer as well, using its flipper as a bat, hence the name of the episode.

    #224254
    Dave
    Participant

    QUOTE ME A FLIPPER

    When Kryten tries to pronounce the name of Lister’s Kinitawowi bride, everyone assumes he is instead imitating the clicking noises of a popular TV dolphin.

    #224255
    cwickham
    Participant

    COKE ME A SLIPPER

    Lister hides his drug stash in Rimmer’s nightwear.

Viewing 50 posts - 351 through 400 (of 13,192 total)
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