Home › Forums › Ganymede & Titan Forum › Idea for an episode. Search for: This topic has 13,191 replies, 95 voices, and was last updated 6 days, 10 hours ago by cwickham. Scroll to bottom Viewing 50 posts - 351 through 400 (of 13,192 total) 1 2 3 … 7 8 9 … 262 263 264 Author Posts November 8, 2017 at 1:46 am #224105 HamishParticipant Well that typo is unfortunate. November 8, 2017 at 2:39 am #224107 flanl3Participant BAND IN THE RED, PART ONE: Lister tries to clone all the members from Smeg and the Heads, but is struggling, so tries to get Kryten’s help. Meanwhile, Cat and Rimmer try but hilariously fail to flush Lister’s guitar back out into space. Will Lister be able to clone the band in time to stop them and make it to the concert he’s scheduled for next week? BAND IN THE RED, PART TWO: It turns out that the other members of Smeg and the Heads were too genetically unstable to be cloned. Can he brainwash the others to join for the concert next week? Meanwhile, Kill Crazy goes on a hilarious murderous rampage. BAND IN THE RED, PART THREE: He did it. The whole 1169 crew of Red Dwarf (they’re all holograms now and the ship’s power slowly drains permanently throughout the episode) play the Om song for 27 minutes. The opening and closing credits are replaced by the Om song for comic effect. November 8, 2017 at 2:51 am #224109 flanl3Participant WAITING FOR POD: The boys sit patiently around, wondering if the archives of all the old threads from the off-topic section of a forum they used to frequent will ever be published. November 8, 2017 at 2:53 am #224110 flanl3Participant STATING FOR GOD: The Dwarfers become religious, and start praying, but God is getting older and wants them to speak more clearly. November 8, 2017 at 2:55 am #224111 flanl3Participant SKATING FOR COD: Cat opens an ice rink where the entry fee is paid in fish. November 8, 2017 at 2:59 am #224112 flanl3Participant CAPTANUS’S OFFICE: Captain Hollister is replaced by Captain Pucker, who is quite literally just a giant anus, and keeps calling Rimmer down to his office because they get along quite well due to their major similarities. November 8, 2017 at 3:02 am #224113 flanl3Participant THE AND: Cat watches an educational video about conjunctions. Meanwhile, Lister, Kryten, and Rimmer point out that butter contains the word but, which is a conjunction. November 8, 2017 at 4:12 am #224114 clemParticipant TWEET THE FREAK Cat trolls a bearded lady. November 8, 2017 at 12:56 pm #224123 RubberParticipant Mac In The Dead In The Bed In The Shed The beloved Captain Hollister actor is forced to sleep in the outhouse when his wife discovers he’s been having an affair with George McIntyre. Meanwhile, Rimmer and Cat both want to be the racing car. November 8, 2017 at 2:53 pm #224127 RubberParticipant Faces Leak Kochanski’s watching Now Voyager and Lister’s got rhinitis, but things turn competitive when she bets that she can cry more tears by cubic volume than he can produce snot. Meanwhile, an increasingly agitated Dr McLaren ends another difficult day by signing a rifle out of the munitions store and staring at it for several hours. November 8, 2017 at 3:19 pm #224130 Ben SaundersParticipant FAECES LEAK November 8, 2017 at 3:40 pm #224131 bloodtellerParticipant STASIS LEEK- lister discovers some delicious leeks in stasis. now its up to the dwarfers to eat them for supper November 8, 2017 at 3:46 pm #224132 bloodtellerParticipant SLATING FOR GOD- lister slates God’s roof but He doesn’t think they’ve done a good job. now its up to the dwarfers to slate the roof (again) November 8, 2017 at 3:47 pm #224133 flanl3Participant TRACK IN THE BED Lister wakes up just in time to discover that the main Red Dwarf rail line goes right through his bunk. His whole lifestyle is upended when he can’t hang around his bed during the day. He can’t move bunks since they’re still all contaminated and Kryten is off in Blue Midget searching for Kochanski because there were life signs on a planet in the solar system they’re in but they can’t figure out which one. He’ll have to spend more time in the sofa nearby, and he can’t hear the TV whenever the train passes. November 8, 2017 at 3:52 pm #224134 DaveParticipant ULRIKA TO RIDE All four Dwarfers discover that they are each simultaneously having an affair with the erstwhile star of Gladiators and Shooting Stars. November 8, 2017 at 5:09 pm #224135 Ben PaddonParticipant MAROON FIVED Rimmer and Lister find themselves stranded on a snowy planet with the members of an American pop-rock band, and promptly walk out into the frozen wastes, opting to freeze to death rather than have to listen to yet another rendition of “This Love”. November 8, 2017 at 5:35 pm #224141 bloodtellerParticipant SNACK TO REALITY- lister is playing a VR game but leaves for a bit to get some snacks November 8, 2017 at 6:25 pm #224152 bloodtellerParticipant MMM-CORE: lister eats a whole apple, even the core! November 8, 2017 at 6:35 pm #224154 JawscvmcdiaParticipant RED DWARF AND THE HEDGEHOG: A Sonic the Hedgehog Red Dwarf crossover. Everybody’s favourite high-speed blue hedgehog meets the crew of Red Dwarf, with hilarious results. November 8, 2017 at 6:47 pm #224156 cwickhamParticipant Back in the Red – Part Four: It turns out all that shit about the Tank was still a drug-induced virtual reality, and the Dwarfers wake up having just licked the envelopes at their trial. It is then revealed that Captain Hollister is a puppet being operated on strings by a giant Doug Naylor. November 8, 2017 at 11:30 pm #224192 RubberParticipant Justfish Cat don’t need no side dishes. Meanwhile, Kryten gets really into genealogy, but his investigations uncover some surprises – is he really a direct descendent of Robert Mugabe? November 8, 2017 at 11:58 pm #224193 bloodtellerParticipant FLIPPER- rimmer gets hold of a quantum skipper, and travels the multiverse looking for a dimension where he can finally achieve his dream of becoming a fish November 9, 2017 at 12:13 am #224194 RubberParticipant Foreignteen Oh god, Lister’s French exchange student is back, and this time he’s got an erection – watch out Dispenser 23! Meanwhile, Cat and Kochanski are auctioning their most fabulous ballgowns to raise money for cunted Skutters, but what’s the point when Skutters can easily be repaired and money is worthless and nobody can really be fucked to wear a beautiful dress in deep space anyway? Really, what is the fucking point? To any of it? Really? Guest starring Zayn Malik as Thibault. November 9, 2017 at 12:19 am #224195 RubberParticipant Psoriasisens Lister has Psoriasis. Meanwhile, Rimmer doesn’t – he’s a hologram. Guest starring Naoko Mori as Doc Wok. November 9, 2017 at 2:52 am #224200 bloodtellerParticipant SHITE HOLE- lister does rimmer up the arse November 9, 2017 at 6:07 am #224202 Pete Part ThreeParticipant Just Ice Kochanski returns to Red Dwarf under the condition that Lister is a more caring fella. On her first night back, she knocks on his door and asks if he has any Diet Pepsi. Lister beckons her in, and the realises he has none left in the fridge. He jumps out of a window, dives into Starbug, traverses an asteroid storm, avoids a battle with some GELFs and finds the only vending machine in the galaxy. He gets a can of Pepsi and returns to Kochanski. He hands her the drink. “Have you got any ice?” she asks.. Freeze-fame on Listers bemused face. November 9, 2017 at 6:08 am #224203 Pete Part ThreeParticipant Gripper Rimmer is invited to a Grange Hil school reunion (he went to lots of schools, ok?). He’s very nervous to go, as he and his best friend Roland were mercilessly picked on by Norman Stebson, the school bully. When he arrives at the reunion, he’s delighted to remember that Norman died millions of years ago. One up to Rimmsy! November 9, 2017 at 10:20 am #224212 RubberParticipant Bout Of Rhyme The Dwarfers find they’re trapped in verse They cannot stop, it’s quite the curse! They’re stuck in space and now in meter Their spacecraft is a green four-seater One of them is David Lister His timeline is quite the twister! Arnold Rimmer, he’s another Has some issues with his mother Cat’s another, plus Kry-tine Shoehorned into just one line This whole thing is one huge contrivance Meanwhile, Kochanski doesn’t know whether Todhunter would prefer her in a sexy g-string or stomach-flattening massive granny pants. November 9, 2017 at 11:39 am #224214 bloodtellerParticipant CRIMEWAVE- the dwarfers encounter a ship where murder is legal. one of the crewmembers attempts to kill the dwarfers, but is then beaten to death by the rest of the crew. the twist is that although murder is legal on this ship, it is not permitted and if you attempt to murder somebody you will be killed by everyone else. the episode ends with lister contemplating if a society like that could ever work. or you could just have an episode thats a load of bollocks about pink policemen and mildly offensive camp stereotypes November 9, 2017 at 11:48 am #224217 cwickhamParticipant Dimewave – the Dwarfers encounter a ship where the only legal currency is the American ten-cent coin. November 9, 2017 at 11:52 am #224218 Pete Part ThreeParticipant Timesave Red Dwarf fans decide to save some time by not rewatching the shit episodes, November 9, 2017 at 12:14 pm #224219 RubberParticipant Quipper The Dwarfers joke their way through a series of perilous sci-fi situations in a war which would be quite flippant and irritating in real life. Meanwhile, Kryten finally uncovers Dr McLaren’s hate drawings during a spring clean of his quarters, but does he have the psychiatric skills to evaluate the threat they could be in? Guest starring Jim Howick as Poot-Poot. November 9, 2017 at 12:48 pm #224223 DaveParticipant Mimewave In a series of unlikely coincidences, Rimmer gets trapped in an invisible box while Lister has trouble pushing an apparently immovable balloon. Meanwhile, Kryten must walk to work on a windy day while Cat starts pulling a rope with something really heavy on the end. November 9, 2017 at 12:57 pm #224226 cwickhamParticipant Daimwave – the Dwarfers encounter a ship made of crunchy almond caramel, covered in milk chocolate. November 9, 2017 at 2:01 pm #224228 DaveParticipant Slimetides When Lister accidentally leans on the button for Starbug’s laser cannon while eating a naan bread and inadvertently destroys the moon of a planet made entirely of snot, the ebb and flow of a delicately-balanced phlegm-based ecosystem is thrown out of whack. November 9, 2017 at 2:55 pm #224232 siParticipant RIGHT HOLE Rimmer and Lister finally complete that round of golf they were playing in Blue. November 9, 2017 at 3:05 pm #224234 cwickhamParticipant Brineslides: The Dwarfers slide on some brine. November 9, 2017 at 3:12 pm #224235 flanl3Participant CRIMETIDES: Sequel to Crimewave. November 9, 2017 at 3:14 pm #224236 flanl3Participant BEET PART TWO: A dinosaur eats some beets and shits purple everywhere. November 9, 2017 at 3:16 pm #224237 cwickhamParticipant Crisis: Doug Naylor accidentally runs his Series XI scripts through a spellchecker. November 9, 2017 at 3:16 pm #224238 DaveParticipant CURD When the Boys From The Dwarf happen upon a secret research facility in which historical figures have been cloned and genetically altered so that they no longer dislike eating Lemon Curd, all is not as it seems. November 9, 2017 at 3:17 pm #224239 cwickhamParticipant Teat Part Two: A dinosaur drinks human breast milk and shits everywhere. November 9, 2017 at 3:18 pm #224240 flanl3Participant BACK TO DARTH: The Dwarfers discover an alternate universe where Anakin Skywalker did not die at the end of Star Wars and a major plotline in Star Wars VII was him trying to resist returning to the dark side. November 9, 2017 at 3:18 pm #224241 cwickhamParticipant ‘U ERD: The Dwarfers discover a secret research facility where historical figures are no longer evil, but are still really rude. November 9, 2017 at 3:20 pm #224242 cwickhamParticipant CAN OF FIRMS: The Dwarfers watch some episodes of Hyperdrive and decide to hire the services of several legal firms in response. November 9, 2017 at 3:21 pm #224243 flanl3Participant JAWS PART TWO: Red Dwarf starts in 1997 instead of 1987. November 9, 2017 at 3:58 pm #224248 bloodtellerParticipant LEMONS AND ANGELS: in a bizarre accident involving the rejuvenation shower and the triplicator, jesus ends up meeting the high versions of the crew. unsurprisingly they get along well, and all have a lovely time together. November 9, 2017 at 5:01 pm #224253 clemParticipant FLIPPER Lister befriends a bottlenose dolphin. Meanwhile Kryten, Cat, Snacky, Chen, Bob the skutter, the Data Doctor, the Stan Laurel waxdroid, Ackerman, and the barmaid from Backwards all beat Rimmer at table tennis. Kryten uses his hand instead of a bat, and there’s a bit where the ball goes in Ackerman’s gaping eye-socket, thus proving it is his eye-socket and not a patch like some people think. Then the dolphin beats Rimmer as well, using its flipper as a bat, hence the name of the episode. November 9, 2017 at 5:04 pm #224254 DaveParticipant QUOTE ME A FLIPPER When Kryten tries to pronounce the name of Lister’s Kinitawowi bride, everyone assumes he is instead imitating the clicking noises of a popular TV dolphin. November 9, 2017 at 5:20 pm #224255 cwickhamParticipant COKE ME A SLIPPER Lister hides his drug stash in Rimmer’s nightwear. Author Posts Viewing 50 posts - 351 through 400 (of 13,192 total) 1 2 3 … 7 8 9 … 262 263 264 Scroll to top • Scroll to Recent Forum Posts You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Log In Username: Password: Keep me signed in Log In