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I’ve just realised how funny Ian’s pic is. You look like a small child on Christmas Day.

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> Well I guess I?m about so get flamed

*flame*

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> ?My girlfriend, Sarah Alexander

Lucky fucker.

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THE MOVIE GAME! Wow, that takes me back. What a GREAT show. Jonathan Morris hosting. And I can’t believe it has never even occured to me that it was John Barrowman who hosted the last series or so. What a mad career that guy has had.

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It is actually better than Red Dwarf.

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The most amazing thing was Ronnie Barker doing this in his Arkwright guise. Surely this was a time when he wasn’t doing anything comedy-wise?

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Oh yes.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=H1GTv03bCbA

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> It?s a small price to pay.

Fucker.

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> Not all contestants play it badly by all means?

I know that, but it’s the sheer indifference of some of them that infuriates me. I don’t know how they can carry on living when they ‘no deal’ on anything over ?20,000 and then proceed to lose it all and they don’t even react. It’s a good job the audience actually do give the OTT reactions because it would be extremely boring without them.

> I don?t like some of what he says, especially his obsession with ?courage?

He really does egg them on in the name of great television (or should I say ‘shit television’, I do hate this show after all…). What gets me is that every single game is an ‘extraordinary’ or ‘amazing’ one.

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> but it?s not even a patch on the second film, let alone the first.

The second film is really bad. It doesn’t even have Roddy McDowell in it playing Cornelius. It’s complete insanity from start to finish. I’d say Escape is a lot better despite it being set in present Earth. I haven’t seen the other sequels but Conquest is supposed to be good.

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I haven’t watched it that much but I hate it when they reveal someone’s identity, the length of the pause with the music in the background, you just want to slap them round the face and scream ‘well are you the bloody belly dancer or WHAT?!?!???’

And the forced Donny Osmond catchphrase – ‘Milkman…..deal…or no…er I mean is…that…your…IDENDIDDIDY??’ and then the cheesy scripted responses – ‘Two extra pints for you in the morning, Karen, yes I am your milkman!’ And what’s with the fucking ‘experts’ at the side advising them who to pick. For frak’s sake, the whole game could be over in 10 minutes if they didn’t have to listen to that load of babbling fuckwits and all the effing and jeffing over ‘sealing’ an identity. ‘Go ahead and seal that idendedy!’ seal your frakkin’ mouth maybe!

Deal Or No Deal is shit – fact. 15-To-One is being repeated somewhere and it reminds you how it changed from 15 fairly intelligent people stood around answering questions to a load of gimps who can just about manage to open a fucking cardboard box and do prompted ‘shock’ reactions whenever it’s a red like performing fucking monkeys and Edmonds is the organ grinder. ‘See you after the break, I know you’ll be back’ How the frak do you know I’ll be back after the break, you cosmic-ordering cuntwit? HOW?? The ?250,000’s gone, the ?100,000’s gone, the ?75,000’s gone but the ‘contestant’ is always like ‘it’s alright, it’s alright’ and carries on like gimboid, you can guarantee if you turn over to it later on there’ll be just ?1,000 and ?1 left or something and they still don’t deal on ?300 or whatever they’re offered. Your like ‘you greedy ignorant CUNT, why are you even on there taking up game time from people who would be more than happy with the ?10,000 you were offered five phone calls ago! Get off my stage!!!’

The end.

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> I like Planet of the Apes 3

Is that ‘Escape from the Planet of the Apes’? That’s been on TV soooo many times. I remember watching it as a kid and being absolutely horrified that they got shot at the end! It’s not actually that bad a film now I come to think of it.

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Pretending to be someone you’re not, what fun, I’ll have to try it sometime… I’ve had the original ‘performingmonkey’ locked in my wardrobe for an age. There’s been no screaming for a while so he’s either found Narnia or ended up in Borgin & Burkes (or, perhaps, the Room of Requirement).

I’m not sure the future of The Man Of Steel is 100% confirmed but Bryan Singer has talked about it. The budget will be cut considerably compared with Returns (surely most of the money for that went on the plane sequence). But surely a lot of effects work done on Returns can simply be carried forward. The ‘flying’ rigs and CG can be used again.

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> I personally feel they could have left the show as it was originally broadcast, effects and all

Well they already have, which is why there hasn’t been a big backlash, we already have the original series untouched on DVD. Also, the new high-def remastering of episodes is basically replacing effects shots (a lot of the original effects shots will look far worse in HD) and NOT fucking up the show in any way, unlike Dwarf remastered where some episodes were fucked with. Trek fans have very little to whine about. For fuck’s sake, there’s a Spock movie coming out next Christmas. With Leonard Nimoy in it. What the fuck else do you want, blood?

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The Superman sequel is still happening as of now under the title The Man Of Steel, slated for May 2009 (they are quite insane going up against Avatar). I’m guessing the Ultimate ULTIMATE Star Wars HD saga set will arrive late next year, but who knows. I really hope Lucas uses this release to put the series to bed once and for all, including every last scrap of unreleased material. Also, the prequel trilogy needs to be messed with a little to make it…better. We already know they’ve been improving the CG on Phantom Menace.

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> People *are* assured of a warm welcome on here, just as long as they?re not twats.

Surely that’s being a little twatist? Twattage is practiced by a great many, you know. Twat.

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Many people think deleted scenes are instantly a bad idea, after all, they were cut for a reason. Often the filmmakers themselves don’t want them included, and even when they ARE on a release you can almost guarantee that they left off a few really shite moments. Father Ted cut scenes/gags would be interesting to me and a few others but it wouldn’t be a feature that sold the set to most people.

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Wow, series 3 commentary! And with Arthur! What joy that will be. I don’t mind buying this set because I don’t even have series 3 or series 2 pt 2 anymore (for reasons so boring that even not typing about them is starting to bore me)

Too bad deleted scenes and outtakes aren’t there. That’s probably because someone would have to do some work to put them together. Outtakes do exist, I’m sure there have been a couple on *insert endless number of ITV outtake shows*. It’s a good job the (great) Ted Comedy Connections episode is on there because otherwise there would be no doco, no interviews at all. Of course, Dermot’s untimely death (which I still can’t get over…the DAY after finishing series 3, unbelievable) makes it harder for others to talk about the show, I would guess. Graham gets a bit emotional, I think, when he’s talking about him in one of the series commentaries.

However, as has been said time and time again, we are so used to being spoiled totally rotten by the wonderful Red Dwarf DVDs. We should be thankful that the set has ANY extras on it.

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So it’s not been officially axed. That’s great.

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I doubt he uses much brain power penning those.

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A word to the wise – don’t drink and post. Things that seem funny after you’ve had a few quite frankly aren’t.

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Well, VII ‘spoke’ to me all right. Tikka was the first episode of Dwarf I saw on original broadcast. Oh how I had hyped up this collosal erection event in my mind. The expectations for The Phantom Menace were nothing in comparison. I remember thinking the Kennedy stuff was absolutely awful, that it was NOT Red Dwarf. That didn’t stop me watching it about six times in two days though. You know when something is bad but you keep I ate out your mother watching it, hoping to glean more from it? You can immediately see why I would paint a picket fence hate VII and a more casual viewer would just masturbation for the nation accept it or even like it. As a fan you’re gonna compare compare equal rights for monkeys compare. As a casual you’re licking your cat’s balls not thinking ‘what the fuck??’ every second. A casual is like an impartial jury who have no knowledge of the accused’s previous convictions.

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> Ouroboros Xtended was the first one I saw.

Woah, not the best introduction to Dwarf! I always wonder whether I would have stuck with Dwarf if I had seen VII or VIII first. Obviously LOADS of people have.

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I’m gonna admit something now. There was one episode I had NEVER seen until the DVD release… Anyone care to hazard a guess at which it was? Didn’t think so, it was Confidence & Paranoia. It had gained mythical status in my mind over the years, one episode of Red Dwarf I had not seen! Oh the joy at finally watching it. I didn’t come but it was close (it was Confidence & Paranoia after all…)

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It was definitely the original broadcast of The End. I clearly remember, at 5-years-old, being sucked in by the whole ‘Steptoe in space’ vibe and… OK, that’s a lie…

I got into it properly, bizarrely, through watching the Smeg Ups video. My mate had it, for whatever reason, in the middle of a load of One Foot In The Grave, Young Ones and *yes* Who videos, all of which we also devoured. I remember at the time being annoyed that it was just outtakes and not actual episodes, but it definitely got me interested. Luckily there was a series 2 video around, so Kryten was the first episode I actually sat and watched. It’s not a wonder that series 2 is still my favourite, it’s the only one I knew for quite a while, but god I watched it a heck of a lot of times.

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Rose is great in the first series, crap in the second (although she’s still severely screwable…)

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Seems like Peter Davison may be appearing in a Children In Need special. I’m guessing Tennant will be in it too, but what it will be about only fuck knows. Apparently Moffat is writing it!

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> and have read Heat

You rebel!

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Been rewatching the first series. For some reason the line ‘here’s me with a graph’ has me in stitches every time. I think it’s partly because I remember doing bullshit presentations like that (which thankfuckly I don’t have to do anymore) and feeling like a dick stood in front of graphs and figures as though it actually meant anything of any importance. Here’s me with a graph…that’s it. Yes, I hate work. Or at least I used to.

Annnnyway, watching the episodes back it seems like only a couple of them are really successful. Like Linehan says in the commentary, some of them feel like ‘Frankenstein’s monsters’ with stuff lashed together like the Meccanno gimboids they are. But I like the attitude he had going into the series, not planning it too much, just seeing what happens, with humour at the forefront and nothing else. It had some downsides though. The way he wrote Jen reminded me a little of Doug writing for Kochanski. She’s written sort of like the ‘token’ woman. Whether you actually need to ‘get’ women (or, obviously, BE a woman) to write a good female character I don’t know, but when you’re doing storylines about shoes and periods, there’s only so far that can go.

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Just thank the gods she isn’t wearing the same red jacket she wore for like every fucking episode of series 3 (I know perfectly well that she didn’t wear it EVERY episode but at this hour in the morning all I can muster, unfortunately, is a crammed comment of that nature, so piss off ;) )

She looks hot anyway. Too bad she isn’t going to be getting any in the series due to little kids perhaps watching it and being horrified (like they’re not going to be affected by Owen’s antics which I doubt will change in series 2, along with the suggestion that Jack and Ianto ‘comfort’ each other…)

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Check this out.

She looks like she fits in with the team.

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What I mean is that in order for the Xtended to work the pauses for laughter need to be cut. I wish they’d done the whole of VII with no laughter. The phrase ‘all or nothing’ springs to mind. I mean, it’s not as though there’s much to laugh at anyway.

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> I suppose they?ll go back and add in the pauses

Surely that’s better than the cast messing up their flow by leaving forced space for laughter. The pauses in the Xtended Tikka are fucking excruciating.

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Linehan is fantastic at cut-to jokes. See Father Ted for details – something that never fails to crack me up is Dougal looking out of the window for the bishops coming saying ‘there’s no sign of them yet, Ted’ and Ted saying ‘Dougal…’ cut-to the three bishops sitting in the room ‘Dougal, they’re here’. I’m laughing just thinking about it. The other one is when it cuts to the funeral ‘Dougal’s doing a funeral! You let Dougal do a funeral?!?!!’ Brilliant.

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> the location one is the best episode of sitcom I?ve seen this decade, by a hell of a long way

Wow, quite a bold statement. Now you’ve got me even more hyped!

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> No idea what they?d do for the fifth, though

My guess is that they’ll bring back the Cybermen, but this time it will be the real Cybermen as seen in Earthshock, Revenge etc.

Regarding the Daleks, I think they’d be foolish not to use them one more time, especially seeing as there’s huge potential for a Davros story. What I DON’T want to see is millions of Daleks flying over 2008 London. That was the good thing about the Evolution of the Daleks 2-parter, we only had four. Saying that, watching Parting of the Ways the other day made me realise it IS possible to have loads of Daleks and make it great. The dialogue in that episode is top-notch, RTD, and Eccleston for that matter, at his very best (‘doesn’t it just burn when you face me…’)

What I would like to see in the series 4 finale is the Doctor in the same situation as POTW where he has the opportunity to wipe out the Daleks but also everyone else around, only this time he isn’t the ‘coward’, he goes and does it (later we find out in a cop-out that Martha managed to rescue the people just before the Doctor blew everything to hell, she then goes down to the planet’s surface and sees the charred remains of the 10th Doctor (perhaps he’s just a bit burnt, this is family viewing after all) in a parallel to series 3 she demands that he regenerates but he just wants to slip away, suddenly Rose steps out of the shower…er, I mean shadows and she takes his blackened hand in hers, he immediately regenerates (into Rupert Penry-Jones from Spooks) thus giving Martha a massive jealousy complex that boringly drives the series 5 narrative, then Martha slits Rose’s throat, the end.

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> and I?ve already seen half of them?

Was there much pre-recorded location stuff?

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So the 2nd series is coming then, next Friday (August 24th). Just in case you didn’t know.

And it looks like Ch4 are gonna trail the fuck out of it (god, aren’t they simply the best at doing that, surely the number of times Skins has been plugged must break some sort of record??). And look at the nice timeslot they’ve given it – 9.30pm, between the two Big Brother shows, that pretty much guarantees a respectable viewership for the first episode.

Can’t wait. Can’t FUCKING wait, in fact! I already like the jokes in the trailers. Raise your hand if you’ve ever cleaned your teeth in the bath.

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I take it everyone knows about the supposed casting of Ben Kingsley as Davros? Also, they are going to shoot an episode at the Italian studios where Rome (or should I say ‘the bloody fantastic Rome’) was shot. Great news. Kingsley would be the perfect choice for Davros.

They should definitely do an episode about him before he’s in the wheelchair and deformed, then in the finale he should return as the fuckup we all know and love. In the earlier episode the Doctor shouldn’t know that Ben Kingsley’s character is Davros, and unwittingly he sets him on his way to becoming the Daleks’ creator. Then when they meet again in the finale Davros recognises the 10th Doctor and realises that all along his arch-enemy, his nemesis, was his creator. This sends him insane. I’m guessing we will see Dalek Caan finding and rescuing Davros. Perhaps we will see the FINAL DESTRUCTION of the Daleks. Perhaps Paul McGann will step out of the shower and say ‘fuck me, is there a Time War going on or something?’

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> There is clearly some faggotry occuring in this thread.

Fuck you.

Now THAT would be faggotry.

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The first series contains a couple of the most surreal sitcom episodes you’ll see.

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You can use Sound Forge for that. Although it’s definitely possible to do a podcast just using the crappy Sound Recorder with Windows. You can edit stuff out with that.

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Check these guys out.

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This would be like the Inklings group, right? As long as no-questions-asked blindfolded sexual rituals are performed alongside lively literary discussion, I’m there.

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I have the Young Ones book ‘Bachelor Boys’. I remember it uses the phrase ‘Smeg-face’ as an insult in it (this was written in 1984, yet another pre-Dwarf use of the word). I’ll have to dig it out again, it’s funnier than most TV tie-in books. Now you’re lucky if you get actual content in them.

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> Will this new box set feature the uncut versions?

There’s a thought. Who knows how much they’d have to fork out to use the songs they had to cut. They might not bother. Is there other cut material?

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> Sounds like ?Summer Holiday? to me?

My guess is that it was ‘Interesting’.

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> I saw one episode of The Young Ones and I didn?t like it.

Can you remember which one it was or what it was about?

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I CANNOT WAIT for this release!

Just think of all the people they could have for those docos. A who’s who of ’80s comedy, anyone?? Even if Chris or Norman aren’t interviewed I’m sure they’ll get a mention. And it says they’re doing cast commentaries which should be interesting. Thank god this FANTASTIC and OFTEN CRIMINALLY OVERLOOKED IN BEST SITCOM POLLS series is getting a set that it deserves.

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I watched Father’s Day again the other day when it was on BBC3.

Even though I’m an utter dick because all I can think about when watching it is inane stuff like the fact that Eccleston was half-dying of a cold when they were doing the church scenes, and picturing the crew running around with those boom cameras to get those cheesy monster overhead shots, and the fact that the CG was so much poorer than it got by series 3 (AND the fact that they blatantly reused the Reaper CG for the Krillitane(sp) in School Reunion), I admit that the episode still brings me to tears like the pussy fuck I truly am.

You’ve got to admit it’s one of the best episodes. Right now I can’t think of a better one. Yeah yeah there are contenders (Girl In The Fireplace, Dalek, Human Nature), but as far as single episodes go, this IMO is the best out of the three series’. Eccleston and Piper are on fire, and the guy who plays Pete Tyler (Shaun something, dammit I’ve forgotten) who is like the opposite to Jackie in that he plays it naturally unlike Camille Courdoi (or whatever it is) who hams up every line she delivers.

The pacing of the episode is perfect (why can they only get this right once in a blue moon?) as is the writing. The image/idea I like most is the car appearing and disappearing on the corner, ‘waiting’ for Pete to step in front of it in order to put things right. Perhaps it’s a sketchy sci-fi idea but it’s handled VERY well. What’s good is that the Doctor looks at the car and obviously knows what needs to happen but doesn’t say anything. Paul Cornell seems to be really into humanizing the Doctor. He subtley references his own story, Human Nature, in this by having the Doctor longing for a ‘normal’ life. Maybe they always knew he was going to eventually adapt his book.

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