Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

Viewing 100 posts - 10,601 through 10,700 (of 11,356 total)
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  • #266524
    Dave
    Participant

    LISTER RD52PAGE107

    Lister gets his crew registration number wrong so the vending machines won’t serve him.

    #266525
    Dave
    Participant

    THE VEND

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf that revolves solely around Rimmer and Lister fixing vending machines with no accident or cat or stasis, thus ruining the premise of the show.

    #266526
    Dave
    Participant

    THE SPEND

    Alternative million-dollar remake of the pilot episode of Red Dwarf that recreates every detail precisely, even down to recording it on the original tape stock and de-ageing the actors, making it indistinguishable from the original and thus defeating the purpose of the entire exercise.

    #266527
    Dave
    Participant

    THE BLEND

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf that also incorporates aspects of Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers and the US remake, thus not exactly ruining the premise of the show but making it feel a bit weird and unfamiliar.

    #266528
    Dave
    Participant

    THE DEFEND

    Alternative episode of Red Dwarf series VIII that is solely comprised of Doug Naylor addressing various fan criticisms.

    #266529
    Dave
    Participant

    THE LEND

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf that shows Rimmer coincidentally borrowing a radiation-proof suit from someone minutes before the accident, thus surviving alongside Lister and ruining the premise of the show.

    #266530
    Dave
    Participant

    THE TREND

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf that shamelessly incorporates tired old memes in an attempt to become popular on Twitter.

    #266531
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THE ATTEND

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf where Lister isn’t put into stasis and is present for the drive plate repairs, however even with both Rimmer and Lister working on it they still fail to fix the problem and everyone on board dies thus ruining the premise of the show

    #266532
    Warbodog
    Participant

    THE GEND

    Pop culture academics contributing to books of essays on cult TV exclusively analyse Red Dwarf through the lens of gender, thus misrepresenting the premise of the show.

    #266533
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THE BENDS

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf where instead of the drive plate failure causing everyone on the ship to die it just results in them all getting decompression sickness which they all manage to recover from thus ruining the premise of the show

    #266534
    Dave
    Participant

    THE PRETEND

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf which immediately introduces the plot of Back To Earth and reveals that Red Dwarf is just a TV show, before it’s even had the chance to establish itself, thus ruining the premise of the show.

    #266535
    Dave
    Participant

    THE YOU CAN FIND THE PERFECT BLEND

    Kryten binge-watches Androids.

    #266536
    cwickham
    Participant

    Fuck my arse we’re already more than one-tenth of the way down the one hundred and seventh page

    #266539

    HILLBILLYSHIP

    The crew encounter a ship crewed entirely by Hillbillies, which is confusing as you don’t expect to see Hillbillies in this region on space.

    #266540

    HILLBILLYHOLE

    The crew encounter a spacial anomaly which is spewing Hillbillies into parts of the universe you wouldn’t expect to find them.

    #266541

    HILLYBILLYSOUP

    A jealous Kryten traps the crew on a mountain ranger and forces them to make and eat soup made from roadkill in an effort to survive.

    #266542

    WAITING FOR HILLBILLIES

    Lister discovers a sect of Catkind in the cargo decks that worship pig fucking hillbillies.

    #266543

    “HOLLY”. “HILLBILLY”. “I’M IN THERE”.

    Holly meets a Hillbilly in a different dimension and believes he has a chance of romance with them.

    #266544

    HILLBILLIES OF THE APOCALYPSE

    In an attempt to create a software antidote Kryten’s subconscious forms a scenario in which he is a hillbilly on a mountain in the Niagara Falls region.

    #266545

    CAN OF HILLBILLIES

    Cat has sex with the daughter of a hillbilly with disastrous consequences.

    #266546

    NIAGRARCHY

    It is revealed that Red Dwarf was inexplicably stolen by a famous waterfall on the US/Canada border.

    #266547

    BACK TO HILLBILLIES

    The crew hallucinate they are hillbillies living on a mountain overlooking Niagara Falls.

    #266548

    FAITH, HILLBILLIES AND CHARITY.

    Rimmer’s parents turn into Hillbillies every Sunday due to some crazy religious belief.

    #266549

    HILLBILLY TV

    Kryten secretly films some Hillbillies for a Channel 4 reality show.

    #266550
    Dave
    Participant

    HILLBILLY DOYLE

    Oh my god, my name is Hillbilly Doyle and my cologne is Eau de Pig Urine.

    #266551
    Dave
    Participant

    HILLWILLIAM DOYLE

    You know, that sounds like a hell of a good name to me.

    #266552
    Dave
    Participant

    WILLIAM HILL DOYLE

    Stuck on Backwards Earth, Lister amuses himself by betting on Hillbilly pig racing.

    #266553
    Jenuall
    Participant

    HOLLYSHIP

    The crew encounter a ship populated with hundreds of characters all played by Norman Lovett. Nothing actually happens in the episode because the audience just cheers for 5 minutes every time another Norman appears.

    #266554
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE MANEATER COLLECTION

    Very strange DVD boxset containing a mixture of unproduced Red Dwarf scripts and Hall & Oates music videos.

    #266555
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    HOT TODDYSNATCHER

    Lister (age 86) is dismayed to discover that Red Dwarf is out of honey and whisky, meaning Kryten is no longer able to prepare him any of his beloved Hot Toddy. To solve this tragedy, the gang build a time drive and head back in time to 21st century Earth to order some.

    Unfortunately, due to various mishaps on the way, they accidentally prevent the breakup of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, which ultimately changes the course of history and leaves the planet in ruins, meaning they need to go back in time again to set things right.

    For some reason they recruit new timeline Angelina herself to help with this, and she’s become a violent mercenary or something, and wears an eyepatch for purely cosmetic reasons.

    They ultimately succeed in having a hot toddy party, but Rimmer embarrasses himself to the waiting staff when he asks for his hot toddy to be brought back cold.

    #266557
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I DON’T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR SCRY

    Lister’s ultimate atheism is shaken when he sees paranormal apparitions in the mirror, then is reinforced when he receives a hard SF explanation.

    #266558
    Warbodog
    Participant

    EVPIDEME

    Cat worries that the Epideme virus is continuing to taunt them from beyond the grave through the medium of ambiguous static.

    #266559
    Warbodog
    Participant

    EMFOHAWK

    Duane uselessly brings along an EMF meter to track the Emohawk by detecting the electromagnetic signals it doesn’t put out, how did you even come up with that.

    #266560
    cwickham
    Participant

    EMOJIHAWK

    The Dwarfers encounter a creature that can shapeshift into thousands of different pictograms.

    #266561
    cwickham
    Participant

    TOMAHAWK

    The Dwarfers are chased by a lunatic with a big, one-headed axe.

    #266562
    cwickham
    Participant

    TONYHAWKS

    The Dwarfers are chased by their former warm-up act.

    #266563

    ELOHAWK

    The crew a stalked by a shapeshifting 70s rock band.

    #266564

    ELONHAWK

    The crew are stalked by a shapeshifting South African billionaire.

    #266565
    Warbodog
    Participant

    EGONHAWK

    The crew are stalked by a Ghostbuster who plans to terrify them beyond the capacity for rational thought.

    #266566

    EMOPORK

    A village of GELFs release a pig with a sweeping fringe haircut that listens to slightly depressing rock music to chase the crew down after Lister fails to consummate his marriage to one of the tribe.

    #266567
    Warbodog
    Participant

    EDOHAWK

    The crew are stalked by a time-displaced samurai.

    #266568
    Warbodog
    Participant

    ECTOHAWK

    The crew are stalked by a transforming hearse that breaches at least two 1980s copyrights. Hey, that’d make a pretty neat toy, that.

    #266569

    EDTHEDUCKHAWK

    GELFS release Ed the Duck to track down the Red Dwarf crew and suck their positive emotions towards children tv puppets out of them.

    #266570

    ETCHAWK

    The crew are stalked by all the other puns we can think of in relation to Emohawk but can’t be bothered to list.

    #266574
    Warbodog
    Participant

    MUMM-RA… I NEVER HAD A MUMM-RA

    Kryten gets melancholy about his incomplete Thundercats action figure collection.

    #266575
    Warbodog
    Participant

    AREN’T YOU A PANTHROIST?

    Kryten asks Lister whether he bases his worldview on the philosophies of a secondary character from Thundercats.

    #266576
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I’VE GOT A NOTE FROM MUMM-RA

    Cat tries to bluff a genius computer into believing that the villain from a 1980s animated TV show has written a note excusing him from all types of work duties in the event that this ever comes up.

    #266578
    Jenuall
    Participant

    LION-OSHIP

    The crew encounter a ship which is manned by hundreds of clones of the lead character of a 1980s animated TV show

    #266579
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SMOKE ME A TYGRA I’LL BE BACK FOR BREAKFAST

    Ace Rimmer instructs the crew to prepare him a much bigger breakfast than his usual kippers

    #266580
    Jenuall
    Participant

    HE’S NOT A WILYKIT DROID LISTER

    Rimmer tries to explain to Lister that Kryten isn’t a droid form of the annoying sidekick character from a 1980s animated TV show

    #266582

    I AM HE-MAN

    A clone of Rimmer tries to convince the boys from the dwarf that he is in fact a 1980s cartoon character.

    #266583
    Dave
    Participant

    BACK TO SNARF

    The Thundercats travel to the real world and discover they are just a cartoon.

    #266584
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    KRYDENTITY WITHIN

    The crew finally come across a colony of series 4000 mechanoids, and Kryten immediately begins a quest to lose his robo-virginity, and uh, he ends up fighting one of the other horny mechanoids? Idk I only saw Identity Within once, I don’t really remember the details. It wouldn’t be a mop-off like in Siliconia though. Brutal fisticuffs, tearing the wires out of each other, ripping off heads etc. Full Robot Wars. Craig Charles semi-drops character to commentate the proceedings.

    #266608
    Warbodog
    Participant

    PAGE LOADING SPEED

    The overshadowed sibling of the sporting legend fixes a broken website forum, having allowed nominative determinism to guide his career path.

    #266610

    PAIGE SPEED

    When Lister fathers a daughter he decides to name her after an incident on a popular fan forum.

    #266611
    cwickham
    Participant

    DO YOU KNOW WHY WE CAN’T READ ANYTHING? BECAUSE THERE ARE NO POSTS TO READ

    G&T Admin schemes to permanently turn off posting everywhere after noticing the massive improvement it makes to this thread.

    #266612
    Dave
    Participant

    THE POSTS HAVE ARRIVED

    G&T’s forum springs back to life.

    #266627
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SO HOW’RE YOU SUPPOSED TO SEE ‘EM?

    Holly questions how people were supposed to see G&T forum content

    #266629
    cwickham
    Participant

    G&T-CORP

    All posting privileges on this forum become invisible.

    #266633
    cwickham
    Participant

    BATH IN THE RED

    Everyone goes to a southwestern British city.

    #266634
    cwickham
    Participant

    BAST IN THE RED

    Everyone prepares a turkey dinner.

    #266638
    cwickham
    Participant

    CACK IN THE RED

    Accurate description of Series VIII.

    #266639
    Dave
    Participant

    N-CORP

    Netflix decides it is going to turn all episodes of the show invisible.

    #266640
    cwickham
    Participant

    P-CORP

    All urine becomes invisible.

    #266641

    NIGHT-CORP

    Red Dwarf is sped up and pitch shifted and then made invisible.

    #266642
    Dave
    Participant

    CORPS-CORP

    The Space Corps is suddenly replaced by Star Fleet.

    #266643
    cwickham
    Participant

    TALK-TALK-CORP

    All phones become silent.

    #266647

    AGIN-CORP

    A key battle in the one hundred years war is suddenly made invisible to all those who fought in it.

    #266648
    Dave
    Participant

    M-BOP

    After their one hit single, the band Hanson mysteriously become culturally invisible.

    #266671
    Jenuall
    Participant

    M-CORPSE

    In the new Bond movie 007 desperately searches for a way to make M’s corpse invisible after accidentally killing him

    #266672
    Jenuall
    Participant

    M-WARP

    Holly invents a successor to the Hop Drive which he claims will enable Red Dwarf to achieve warp speeds and get the crew home but instead when they use it the ship just turns invisible

    #266673
    Warbodog
    Participant

    M-OVIE

    The writer of Red Dwarf goes through such a bad patch that fans are unable to see the difference between his genuine writing and a poor imitation.

    #266674
    Dave
    Participant

    CROP-CORP

    Holly hides the very short haircut that Rimmer keeps asking for.

    #266678

    THE END OF THE MIDDLE IN THE BEGINNING

    The Beginning gets a re-master re-release in which Jimmy Eat World perform just the last chorus of their hit song The Middle. Not to be confused with a previous idea for an episode where Jimmy Eat World simply teleport onboard Red Dwarf to perform the song in full

    #266693
    cwickham
    Participant

    NO, I’M SINGLE AT THE MOMENT, SIR

    Kryten says something which doesn’t make much sense and leads Red Dwarf fans to believe it’s not a genuine Doug Naylor script.

    #266694
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I CAN’T SEEM TO PICK UP VAJAZZLE FEMME

    Kryten laments his failure to date ornate ladies.

    #266695
    Jenuall
    Participant

    BONEY TO RIDE

    Everyone’s favourite skeletal crew member turns up hitching a ride in Doug’s movie script

    #266715
    Dave
    Participant

    SHITONASCRIPT

    An enterprising ebay seller mishears his brother’s sex advice and decides that the best way to seduce women is to write down any old toss and try to pass it off as an unreleased Red Dwarf movie script.

    #266717
    Dave
    Participant

    ALL THE HELP YOU WERE

    Kryten pens an 80s power-ballad detailing all the times Lister has assisted him in the past.

    #266718
    Dave
    Participant

    MUST HAVE DUST IN MY CIRCUITS

    Kryten offers a spurious reason for why his dialogue sounds so out-of-character un the Red Dwarf movie.

    #266719
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SPACE CRAFT 1?

    During his flight training Kryten is tasked with reading the exciting name of the ship to surface vessel the crew regularly use

    #266721
    Dave
    Participant

    I JUST WANT YOUR SPACE… CRAFT 1. GIVE ME THE START-UP CODE

    A rogue simulant tries to steal Starbug in the Red Dwarf movie.

    #266722
    Dave
    Participant

    GIVE ME THE UP-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-A-AND-START CODE

    A rogue simulant asks Gamesmaster for the Sonic The Hedgehog level select cheat.

    #266723
    Dave
    Participant

    GIVE ME THE UPSTART CROW

    A rogue simulant demands that the crew of Red Dwarf recreate a sitcom about Shakespeare.

    #266725
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SPACE CRAFT

    PC strategy game featuring the iconic generic vessel from the Red Dwarf Movie.

    #266726
    Warbodog
    Participant

    BOY-FRIEND?

    Lister and Kryten cautiously test the waters of their platonic relationship while ostensibly talking about girls.

    #266730
    Jenuall
    Participant

    48 YEARS LATER

    Doug implements a time jump in the long awaited movie to account for the casts varying states of disappointing ageing

    #266732
    Warbodog
    Participant

    THE MOVIE: YEAH, NO, YEAH, NO, NEVER MIND

    Prize-winning fan film dramatising an anticlimactic forum thread.

    #266733

    PINK DWARF

    Doug decides to reboot Red Dwarf with an all female cast but inexplicably gets into hot trouble with the lawyers of an erotic novelist.

    #266734
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    eBAY 47

    When Kryten starts spouting uncharacteristic nonsense, Rimmer diagnoses Droid Rot and sends him to quarantine.

    #266736

    BUT THEN I READ SOMETHING THAT MADE ME CUM

    Patrick Stewart recounts the time he was reading what he believed to be the 5th Red Dwarf novel alone in his hotel room until something happened, and he got what the book was.

    #266737
    cwickham
    Participant

    eBAY-CORP

    All fake eBay listings of Red Dwarf movie scripts become invisible.

    #266738
    Warbodog
    Participant

    BLUE DWARF

    Late night Xtended editions of Red Dwarf incorporating more old-fashioned risque postcard type humour.

    #266739
    cwickham
    Participant

    QUARANTINeBAY

    eBay is driven insane by the revelation that people are using it to auction fake Red Dwarf movie scripts.

    #266740
    cwickham
    Participant

    eBAYS AND ANGELS

    eBay is reassured that not all of its users auction fake Red Dwarf movie scripts.

    #266741
    cwickham
    Participant

    LeBAYGION

    A gestalt entity is formed from all the different fake Red Dwarf movie scripts on eBay.

    #266742
    cwickham
    Participant

    eBAYLANCE OF POWER

    Doug gets a fake Red Dwarf movie script removed from eBay.

    #266743
    cwickham
    Participant

    eBAYSWAP

    Two different fake Red Dwarf movie scripts get exchanged on eBay.

    #266744
    cwickham
    Participant

    eBAYIE TV

    Doug turns on his television and sees a news report about a fake Red Dwarf movie script being sold.

    #266745
    cwickham
    Participant

    eBAYSIS

    Doug has a crisis after hearing about a fake Red Dwarf movie script being sold on eBay.

Viewing 100 posts - 10,601 through 10,700 (of 11,356 total)
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