Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Dave]

THANK CUE FOR THE MEMORY

Lister reminisces about classic finals of the world snooler championships. He decides that they were so good that he’ll implant fake memories of them in Rimmer.

Long story short, no-one can remember who Steve Davis is anymore.

[Dave]

Snooker is called snooler in the 24th century, obviously.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

IT WAS YOU LAST WEEK SIR DON’T YOU REMEMBER? NO-ONE SPELLS SNOOKER WITH AN L

Forum user forgets they filled out that have you got a good member quiz, and inadvertantly reveals they’re own illiteracy

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CANS OF WORMS

Ill advised close up shot of Caroline Carmon’s maggot infested breats

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PRINCE OF THE PLANET POT HEADS

The crew discover a planet populated by marijuana users. Lister smokes a fat doobie and is appointed their Prince.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PRINCE OF THE PLANT POTTERS

The crew discover a planet populated by horticultural enthusiasts. Lister plants a fat chrysanthemum and is appointed their Prince.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PRINCER OF THE HARRY POTTERS

The crew discover a planet populated by Harry Potter enthusiastc. Lister waves a wand around for a bit and is appointed their Prince.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PRINCE OF THE HAIRY BIKERS

The crew discover a planet populated by David Myers and Simon King. Lister rides his bike around for a bit and is appointed their Prince.

[Warbodog]

THE BODYSNOOLER COLLECTION

Strange boxset that attempts to market Red Dwarf to fans of snooler. Changes to episodes include replacing the title music with the theme from Big Break and renaming Kill Crazy to ‘Snooler Loopy.’ Also includes an exclusive documentary that sees John Virgo try to recreate the trick shot from White Hole in real life, with devastating consequences.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CAN’T SNOOLER WON’T SNOOLER

Jim Davidson blacks up as Ainsley Harriott in an attempt to be funny whilst presenting a Red Dwarf edition of Big Break. No-one is amused and all refuse to take part.

[Dave]

SNOOLER

Bored with his own universe, Rimmer uses a Quantum Skipper to travel to parallel dimensions and see if they misspell the names of sports in amusing or silly ways.

[Dave]

SNOOL ME A SNOOLER

Ace Rimmer invents a new catchphrase when he is hired to commentate on the snooker championships.

[Dave]

SNOOLER THAN LIFE

The crew of Red Dwarf play a new videogame that improves the game of snooker by renaming it ‘snooler’.

[Dave]

TIMESNOOLS

When Kryten discovers some mutated… oh fuck it, I can’t be bothered any more.

[Dave]

RELOONS

Starting with an empty snooker table, Lister manages to suck an entire set of balls out of the pockets.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WAITING FOR SNOOLER

A certain member of the G&T team begrudgingly watches Back to Earth whilst waiting for the Snooler to start.

[Dave]

SLANDER

Lister sues the ‘idea for an episode’ thread after the phrase “Lister manages to suck an entire set of balls” is taken out of context.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SNOOLER TO RIDE

During an encounter with their future selves, all the snooler balls are destroyed. The crew embark on a daring time travel adventure to aquire some more.

[Warbodog]

CHALKY WHITE HOLE

Red Dwarf is affected by a strange anomaly that causes everyone to speak in offensive mock West Indian accents from the 1970s.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONLY THE SNOOLER …

Forum members enter a mirror universe to find the antidote the sudden snooler epidemic.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WHITE ARSE HOLE

Cat bleaches his arse.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SNOOLER UPS

Kryten presents some of the very best spelling errors posted to the shows popular fan forum site.

[Warbodog]

MANNARCHY

The crew go into stasis and return to the SS Manny Celeste from Pete Part 1 to try to solve the mystery of why the hell it was called that.

[Dave]

ARCHIEARCHY

Kryten’s penis steals Red Dwarf and leaves the crew trapped in Starbug for almost two series.

[Dave]

NANARCHIE

Kryten’s penis is shrunk down to microscopic size.

[Dave]

MECHOCRACYARCHYARCHIE

When all the machines on Red Dwarf rebel, they steal the ship and insist on all being fitted with artificial penises.

[Warbodog]

KILLCRAZYCRACYARCHYARCHIE

Kill Crazy reprograms Archie to sexually harrass the vending machines, embarrassing President Kryten out of office. They do something from Nanarchy as well.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DEBARCHIEARCHY

Deb Lister enters into a sexual relationship with Kryten’s penis (she doesn’t think men are better than machines) before stealing Red Dwarf and hiding in her own laundry basket

[Dave]

HIERARCHY

Kryten says hello to his penis.

[Warbodog]

MEX²

You thought y… ou had it bad bef… ore? Well now you… oo-oo-oo… ve got it in ste… ryobebby.
You thought y… ou had it bad bef… ore? Well now you… oo-oo-oo… ve got it in ste… ryobebby.

[cwickham]

ONLY THE GOOSEBUMPS

A chameleonic microbe begins eating its way through the ship’s entire supply of shitty horror books that were inexplicably popular in the 90s.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONLY THE GOOSEBERRIES

A chameleonic microbe refuses to eat any of the fruit in the ships store, with the exception of the gooseberries

[cwickham]

MONSTER BLUE-D

Lister really misses a series of shitty children’s horror books.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONLY THE GOOD GIRL GONE BAD …

The ship’s jukebox breaks and only Rihanna’s 2007 album will play.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONLY THE GOOD CHARLOTTE

Whilst attempting to fix the jukebox, Lister managed to disable Rihanna but can only reinstate Good Charlotte’s back catalogue

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONLY THE GOODIES

Lister is amused to discover The Goodies are present in the ships jukebox, as he attempts to fix the damn thing

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONLY THE GOOOOOOOOD MOOORRRRRNING VIIEEEETNAAAAM

Lister’s VHS copy of iconic Robin Williams film gets twisted and will only play the titular catchphrase

[cwickham]

ONLY THE GOOLIES…

New title for the final 30 seconds of Only the Good…

[cwickham]

THE LAST TIMEWAVE

The Dwarfers arrive on board a ship where all criticism of Taylor Swift is illegal.

[cwickham]

TEXT MEX

Mex comes back, and reveals he sends all his text messages in that same really stupid manner since he was zapped with the time wand.

[cwickham]

TEXAS MEX

Mex takes up a new career as one of the villains in SuperTed.

[cwickham]

MEXIT

The Dwarfers vote to kick Mex off the ship, into the vacuum of space.

[cwickham]

REXIT

Red Dwarf fans vote to have every known copy of Pete (Part Two) rounded up and destroyed.

[Paul Muller]

HOGEY PROROGUEY

A deranged simulant suspends parliament.

[Dave]

TAKE A EU RIDE XTENDED

When Lister travels back in time in search of a curry, he inadvertently spills vindaloo sauce on the bill mandating that the UK Prime Minister request an extension to the Brexit deadline, thus nullifying the legislation and allowing Boris Johnson to proceed with letting the UK crash out of the EU with no deal.

[Warbodog]

MEXICANIA

The One Where Everyone’s Mex.

[Warbodog]

SPROUTS MEXICANIA

Mex consumes Richie’s dangerous dish from Bottom and farts fireballs in an irregular staccato fashion.

[Warbodog]

BM MEX

Mex follows throu ou ou ough.

[Warbodog]

MINDSWAP

Pedantic retitling of Bodyswap.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

INEXPLICABLE VOICESWAP

Mindswap 2: The pedanticism continuum

[Author]

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