Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

Viewing 100 posts - 10,801 through 10,900 (of 12,289 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #266864

    I’M NOT REALLY ME

    Red Dwarf is a TV show so he just walks around the set ala Police Squad

    He is a soft light hologram

    The room is made of paper

    #266865
    Warbodog
    Participant

    THE PURSUIT OF INTELLECTUAL FULFILMENT

    I thought of the first two in that order (when he’s a hologram in Bodyswap, et al).

    That could have been more challenging.

    #266866
    Warbodog
    Participant

    OREGON TRIAL

    The S.S.S. Oregon’s Z-shift technicians are called to the captain’s office after the first technician grasses his subordinate up for smuggling some rabbits on board. The unquarantined animals have been set loose in the vents, so can’t be turned in. The captain considers sentencing the guilty party to 18 months in stasis, but reluctantly allows him to continue his duties.

    Why is the captain so lenient? The fact that this had to be based around previously non-established expanded universe characters should not be considered suspicious at all.

    #266867
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    STATUS LEAK

    A forum poster finds a doorway into the future, when he inadvertently ends up on Page 109 at least two days ahead of schedule. Sadly, the ideas on that page are even worse.

    #266868
    cwickham
    Participant

    LATERAL THINKING IN THE RED ANSWERED

    He waits until he dies, which is the only escape possible, in much the same way as it is for this thread.

    #266869
    Dave
    Participant

    BUMP

    #266870
    Dave
    Participant

    BUMPITY

    #266871
    Dave
    Participant

    BUMP BUMP

    #266872
    Dave
    Participant

    BUUUMP

    #266873
    Dave
    Participant

    THANKS FOR THE LAST FOUR SHITPOSTS

    Fuck my arse we’re on page 109.

    #266874
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    WIPE HOLE

    Rimmer utilizes three sheets of toilet paper.

    #266875
    cwickham
    Participant

    BEYOND A JOKE

    Regular contributors to the “Idea for an episode” thread wonder if the last four posts of page 108 were just a bit too banal.

    #266876
    cwickham
    Participant

    SHITPOSTING TIME!

    Gordon Kennedy starts posting on the “Idea for an episode” thread.

    #266877
    cwickham
    Participant

    A QUESTION OF IDEAS FOR AN EPISODE

    Ian Symes asks “Why, in God’s name, why?” for another 200 pages, but not formatted nearly so well as the first IDEA FOR AN EPISODE QUIZ BOOK.

    #266878
    cwickham
    Participant

    IDEA FOR AN EPISODE: THE ROLE PLAYING GAME

    Book for a paper RPG that provides profiles for all 65,049,430 different characters and settings.

    #266879
    cwickham
    Participant

    IDEA FOR AN EPISODE SURVIVAL MANUAL

    Paul Alexander writes a comprehensive guide on how to get out of this thread alive.

    #266880
    cwickham
    Participant

    IDEA FOR AN EPISODE LOG NO. 2022

    Diary which features 29 ideas for episodes on each day.

    #266881
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE OFFICIAL IDEA FOR AN EPISODE COMPANION

    Guide to the first 50 pages of the idea for an episode thread, with high-quality photographs of the regular posters’ padded cells.

    #266882
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE MAKING OF THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD

    Joe Nazzaro has a nervous breakdown after writing three pages.

    #266883
    Dave
    Participant

    BEYOND A JOKE

    Regular contributors to the “Idea for an episode” thread wonder if the last four posts of page 108 were just a bit too banal.

    AND YOU KNOW WHY NOBODY CAN READ ANYTHING? BECAUSE THERE ARE NO POSTS TO READ

    A G&T contributor successfully tests whether anyone actually reads the last few posts on each page.

    #266884
    cwickham
    Participant

    PRIMORDIAL IDEAS FOR EPISODES

    All the best ideas for episodes are presented in a book, due to a recent shortage of landfill.

    #266885

    MATHS IN THE CODE FOR THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD

    M-Corp are prevented from making the thread invisible by correcting a rounding error in the forum’s code.

    #266886
    cwickham
    Participant

    JUST THE IDEAS FOR EPISODES

    Budget re-release of the “Idea for an episode” thread that only includes both legitimate ideas for episodes.

    #266887
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    JUST THE NEGS

    Spin-off collection featuring the ideas which are really thinly veiled negative comments about the quality of the thread itself.

    #266888
    Dave
    Participant

    JUST THE DREGS

    Compilation featuring the worst 10,815 ideas in the thread so far.

    #266889
    cwickham
    Participant

    BLANK SPACE

    Taylor Swift song about a list of the best ideas in the thread so far.

    #266890
    cwickham
    Participant

    SIX THOUSAND OF THE BEST

    Audio CD featuring cwickham, Dave and quinn_drummer discussing the ideas for episodes featured in a special VHS set.

    #266891
    cwickham
    Participant

    IDEA FOR A MOBISODE

    Short-lived mobile service which texts selected ideas for Red Dwarf episodes to the user. Closed down after a 20,000,000% rise in voided warranties.

    #266892
    cwickham
    Participant

    LAUNCHING THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD

    Original half-hour documentary on Ian Symes’ quest to launch the idea for an episode thread into the heart of the sun.

    #266893

    THREAD BUGGERS

    G&T admins record a 90 minute video documentary cursing regular posters in their forum’s most popular thread.

    #266894
    Paul Muller
    Participant

    JUST THE LEGS

    Special edition of the classic episodes presented in 8:3 ratio , cropped in so that only the actor’s lower limbs are visible in shot.

    #266895
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I SAW THE WHOLE THING, ALL THREE TERRIBLE HOURS OF IT

    When Cat comments that he found a further revival of Tales from the Riverbank: TNG disappointing and switched off, Lister feels left out and hatewatches the whole series he already knows he isn’t going to enjoy so he can join in and be the best at not liking it, rather than doing anything else.

    #266896
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-EIGHT

    If the Dwarfers put one Starbug in each landing bay, they have one Starbug too many. If they put two Starbugs in each landing bay, they have one landing bay too many. How many Starbugs and landing bays does Red Dwarf have?

    #266897

    COMPUTE!

    4 craft and 3 bays

    #266898
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THERE’S JUST ONE THING THAT STILL BAFFLES ME

    What do they do with Blue Midget?!

    #266899
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU NEVER EARN, DO YOU

    Lister draws an ‘H’ on his forehead in cream, and mocks Rimmer for no longer drawing a JMC salary because he’s dead.

    #266900
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU NEVER YEARN, DO YOU

    Lister draws an ‘H’ on his forehead in cream, and mocks Rimmer for having such limited ambitions.

    #266901
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU NEVER LEAN, DO YOU

    Lister draws an ‘H’ on his forehead in cream, and compliments Rimmer on his excellent posture.

    #266902
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU NEVER BURN, DO YOU

    Lister draws an ‘H’ on his forehead in cream, and notes that, as a hologram, Rimmer is not flammable.

    #266903
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU NEVER GURN, DO YOU

    Lister draws an ‘H’ on his forehead in cream, and mocks Rimmer for the inflexibility of his facial muscles.

    #266904
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU NEVER KERN, DO YOU

    Lister draws an ‘H’ on his forehead in cream, and mocks Rimmer for not spacing letters out properly.

    #266905

    YOU NEVER TURN, DO YOU

    Lister draws a ‘T’ on his forehead in cream, and mocks Thatcher for her refuse to manoeuvre at angels of 90-180 degrees to her current trajectory.

    #266906
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    YOU NEVER WORMDO, YOU

    I don’t know. What’s a Wormdo?

    #266907
    Jenuall
    Participant

    YOU NEVER PERM, DO YOU

    Cat draws an L on his forehead in facial cream and mocks Lister for not perming his leg hairs

    #266908
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU NEVERLAND, DON’T YOU

    Rimmer encounters a 1993 Michael Jackson.

    #266909
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-NINE

    After being restored to its original specifications by the nanobots, Red Dwarf is fifteen miles long. Its ram scoop is as long as its rear booster. If the ram scoop was twice as long as it really is, the ram scoop and the booster would together be as long as what’s in between. How long is each part of the ship?

    #266910

    YOU NEVER LEND A HAND, DO YOU

    Lister draws an ‘H’ on his forehead and mocks Rimmer’s holographic status and inability to touch anything.

    #266911
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU NEVER CHURN, DO YOU

    After Lister and Kochanski start a farm on Fiji, they draw an ‘H’ on their foreheads in cream and berate Rimmer for not helping to make more of it from all the milk they’ve collected.

    #266912
    Jenuall
    Participant

    8 WEEKS PD!?

    Ram scoop and booster are 3 miles and the “body” is 9

    #266913
    cwickham
    Participant

    RIGHT, OKAY, GO ON

    The recent trend of Maths in the Red questions being answered correctly continues.

    #266914
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    BATHS IN THE THREAD

    A forum poster decides to enjoy his favourite forum thread in the bath. If he has 4 bottles of shampoo, and two bars of soap, where exactly did he put his loofah?

    #266915
    Dave
    Participant

    SPOT THE SUBMARINE

    Lister and Ace Rimmer are recruited as hand-picked Space Corps special agents, tasked with conducting reconnaissance on the Esperanto. Before setting off on their mission, they have a quick bath.

    #266917
    Lister2RedDwarf
    Participant

    TEST YOUR MIGHT

    Rimmer walks in on Lister and The Cat playing a Mortal Kombat on a retro games console. Rimmer is appalled by the violence and enlists Kryten to start a campaign to ban it from the ship until late one night after everyone else is asleep Lister discovers Rimmer playing it and shows him how to smash the diamond on the Test Your Might mini game.

    #266918

    SPOTTY SUBMARINE

    Ace Rimmer is taking a bath with new Space Corp recruit Mr. Blobby and he is worried the spotted submarine he had just grabbed out of the depths of the bath has just ejected its sea men.

    #266919
    Dave
    Participant

    BIG BOYS IN BOOTS

    After giving birth to twins, Lister pops along to Red Dwarf’s pharmacy to pick up some paracetamol, only to find that Jim and Bexley have already aged ten years on the journey due to their parallel universe physiology.

    #266920
    Warbodog
    Participant

    TALES OF BLOOD-CHILLING TERROIR, WHICH IS A WINE TERM NOT REALLY USED ACCURATELY

    Kryten provides over-dramatic links for three stories of his shipmates sipping wine that invariably turns out to be slightly too cold.

    #266921
    Warbodog
    Participant

    TALES OF BLOOD-THINNING TICAGRELOR

    Kryten provides over-dramatic links for three stories in which he invariably prescribes Mr Lister the same antiplatelet drug.

    #266922
    Warbodog
    Participant

    TAILS OF BLOOD-SPILLING PTEROSAURS

    Kryten clones a flock of extinct flying reptiles and cruelly butchers them to make Mr Lister a decadent feather boa.

    #266923

    TALES OF YUNGBLOOD SINGING ERROR.

    Kryten provides examples of when a young Doncastian singer/song writer made a mistake on stage.

    #266924
    cwickham
    Participant

    REAR DAVE

    Lister is a bum.

    #266925
    cwickham
    Participant

    REAR WINDOW DAVE

    Lister stars in an amateur production of a Hitchcock film.

    #266926

    BIRDS-MAN

    Pete the sparrow is accidentally zapped by the triplicator (which inexplicably now just creates hundreds of copies of the subject item) leading Birdman to command an army of savage birds in parody production of a Hitchcock film.

    #266927
    cwickham
    Participant

    1989 TV

    Kryten launches a television channel devoted to elaborate fan theories about which Taylor Swift album is to be re-recorded next.

    #266929
    Bosco13
    Participant

    I’m not going through 108 pages so maybe this has been done but have you thought about how you’d want the final episode to be?
    The only happy ending I could think of was Rimmer being put in charge of the crew that evacuated at the end of season 8 living on a colony planet and maybe Lister settling there with Kochanski.
    What do you guys think?

    #266930
    Warbodog
    Participant

    COLONY

    Big Finish spin-off series featuring just series VIII original characters with no relief.

    #266931
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SHIP OF THESAURUS

    The crew meet a prolix Simulant whose unpresuming vessel is constructed unreservedly out of thesauruses, however he has to keep substituting each tome as they disintegrate over the protracted centuries, so pray tell – ye perfervid sophists! – is it verily the selfsame barque our ersatz matelot of the heavens ere embarked upon forthwith? Guest starring Sir Stephen Fry.

    #266932
    Dave
    Participant

    I’VE NEVER READ… A THESAURUS

    Craig Charles denies appearing in a mythical video about a thesaurus.

    #266933
    Dave
    Participant

    YOUR VOCABULARY UNIT’S NOT WORKING

    Craig Charles uses his newly-expanded thesaurus-fuelled lexicon to lord it over people who don’t know as many words as him.

    #266934
    Dave
    Participant

    WHAT’S AN IGUANA?

    Craig Charles realises that a dictionary would be more useful than a thesaurus on this occasion.

    #266935
    Dave
    Participant

    PETE, SECTION THE SECOND

    Doug Naylor has to drastically retool one of Series VIII’s big storylines after finding out that a clerical error means he has inadvertently blown a huge chunk of the budget on a CGI thesaurus.

    #266949

    NOTION CONSIDERING AN INSTALMENT

    Craig Charles remastered a popular forum thread using his trusty thesaurus.

    #266950
    Dave
    Participant

    THE DENOUEMENT

    Alternative title for Red Dwarf’s pilot episode that will appear in Craig Charles’ thesaurus.

    #266951
    Dave
    Participant

    THE COMMENCEMENT

    Alternative title for Red Dwarf Series X episode 6 that will appear in Craig Charles’ thesaurus.

    #266952
    Dave
    Participant

    FEEL GOOD AND BAD

    Alternative title for Series 1 episode 5 that was going to be used until Craig Charles whipped out his thesaurus.

    #266953
    Warbodog
    Participant

    WHAT AN ABSOLUTE SLAG OFF

    Craig Charles visits a Red Dwarf forum where all the active threads seem to be having a go at him.

    #266954
    cwickham
    Participant

    SOLELY THE GREAT

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Lister rescued Rimmer on a ghost train and used a thesaurus to learn different scary words.

    #266955
    Dave
    Participant

    GUNMEN OF THE SAURUS

    After Kryten contracts a simulant computer virus, the Boys from the Dwarf must venture into his mindscape and defeat the program by using loads of big words.

    #266959
    Warbodog
    Participant

    TAIWAN IS COMPLETELY CHINESEY

    Red Dwarf is required to modify its vague Taiwan stance for the sake of a lucrative syndication deal in China. As well as redubbing the offending lines, Doug records a vertical video to play at the start of the episode apologising for his igorance. Not sure whether the apology is supposed to be in English or Mandarin, Doug decides on a middle ground and does it in English with a Taiwan Tony accent, that should be fine.

    #266960
    Jenuall
    Participant

    WE DON’T SPEAK JAPANESE, BUT WE LOVE TO SPEAK MANDARIN!

    To court the lucrative Chinese audience Doug has to make some hasty re-writes to previous episodes, including coming up with a new palendromic haiku in Mandarin to insert into Holoship

    #266961
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART NINETY

    The Red Dwarf vending machines produce curry at the rate of c, where c is the portions of curry produced per day. If Lister and nine of his friends, who all eat curry at exactly the same rate, are given unlimited access to the curry supplies, they will be exhausted in 20 days. On the other hand, if a total of 15 crewmates are given unlimited access, all the curry will be gone in 10 days. If 25 crewmates are given unlimited access, when will all the curry supplies run out?

    #266962
    Jenuall
    Participant

    ANYONE GOT A POPPADOM THE SIZE OF LAKE MICHIGAN?

    I’m not sure I get the premise of the question. Is it producing new portions of curry each day that are getting added to a backlog of supplies? If so how many do they have in the backlog to start with? Or is there just a set number of curries in the storage which it is “delivering” to the crew on request rather than “producing” a new curry – basically is the amount of stock something that is going up when new curries are made and down when they eat it, or is it just a finite stock that is going down at a particular rate relative to the number of consumers?

    #266963
    Jenuall
    Participant

    WHY AM I EVEN ASKING THAT QUESTION?

    A G&T Forum user begins to question to the amount of time they are spending thinking about the Maths in the Red questions.

    #266964

    I TOOK THEM

    Trick question, they never run out as Lister just keeps returning to the past to bring the supplies to the present.

    #266968
    Dave
    Participant

    PATHIAS IN THE RED

    Lister tries to solve a maths problem based on how much of a certain curry the vending machines can produce.

    #266969
    cwickham
    Participant

    CLUES IN THE RED

    Let g be the total units of curry available before the crew are granted unlimited access. Let s be the number of units of curry each crewman eats per day. You must determine the constant values of g and c from the information given in the problem.

    #266970
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GIVE ME A G… GIVE ME A C… GIVE ME AN S… GIVE ME A GCSE MATHEMATICS REVISION GUIDE?

    The mundane origins of recreational maths puzzles are revealed.

    #266971
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THAT’S IT: 5 DAYS! WE’VE GOT HIM!

    200 curries in stock (g)
    10 produced each day (c)
    each crewman eats 2 curries per day (s)

    #266974
    cwickham
    Participant

    GOOD ANSWER, MAN, GOOD ANSWER

    G&T User is particularly pleased to see someone show their working whilst correctly answering a Maths in the Red question.

    #266976
    Dave
    Participant

    THE SORE ASS

    Lister tries to come up with a greater variety of words to describe his rectal pain after eating two curries per day.

    #266979
    Ridley
    Participant

    LARAMIDIAN REXPRESS LANGUAGE SKILLS

    Pete rexplores how choosing and using words helps conjure up images in people’s minds. He goes back to Dallas, November 1963, stands on the grassy knoll and shouts Duck! Then eats 500 curries.

    #267007
    cwickham
    Participant

    BADDIEL IN THE RED

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing David Baddiel turned up and saved the day.

    #267008
    cwickham
    Participant

    BROOKER IN THE RED

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Charlie Brooker turned up and saved the day.

    #267009
    cwickham
    Participant

    BHASKAR IN THE RED

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Sanjeev Bhaskar turned up and saved the day.

    #267010
    cwickham
    Participant

    BALDING IN THE RED

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Clare Balding turned up and saved the day.

    #267011
    cwickham
    Participant

    BACKSHALL IN THE RED

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Steve Backshall turned up and saved the day.

    #267012
    cwickham
    Participant

    BLOFELD IN THE RED

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Henry Blofeld turned up and saved the day.

    #267013
    cwickham
    Participant

    BLADES IN THE RED

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Jay Blades turned up and saved the day.

    #267014
    cwickham
    Participant

    BRITTON IN THE RED

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Fern Britton turned up and saved the day.

    #267015
    cwickham
    Participant

    BURKE IN THE RED

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Kathy Burke turned up and saved the day.

    #267016
    cwickham
    Participant

    OUT OF Bs

    G&T User prematurely runs out of people whose names start with the letter “B” in his attempt to move the thread on to the 110th page by posting variations on the same idea over and over again.

Viewing 100 posts - 10,801 through 10,900 (of 12,289 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.