Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

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  • #269271
    cwickham
    Participant

    FUCKMYARSEONS

    It’s the 123rd page.

    #269275
    Dave
    Participant

    RED DWARF MANIA

    Special new series of Red Dwarf which initially appears to be based around plotlines and scenes from Series I-III but which then reveals completely new subplots and location/vehicle designs that somehow still feel 100% in keeping with the original

    #269276
    Dave
    Participant

    RED DWARF ADVENTURE

    New 3D series of Red Dwarf that everyone thinks is amazing until they realise it’s a bit shit. Yet they still somehow feel nostalgic for it decades later.

    #269277
    Dave
    Participant

    RED DWARF 3D

    Mislabeled new series of Red Dwarf that is presented in isometric 2.5D.

    #269278
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN

    When the nanobots rebuilt Red Dwarf, they set aside a spherical area for the auxiliary water tank. When full, the sphere could contain exactly 1200 cubic metres of water. However, after contracting some kind of virus, they built the water tank in the shape of a regular icosahedron, constructed out of 3 centimetre-thick metal.

    If the icosahedron tank is the largest it can possibly be while still fitting within the spherical area, what is the volume of the tank in cubic metres? Please round down to the nearest tenth of a cubic metre.

    #269279
    Dave
    Participant

    BLUE SPHERE

    When Lister finds himself surprisingly missing Rimmer, after his departure to become the new Ace Rimmer, Kryten consoles him by setting aside a spherical area for the auxiliary water tank. However he then can’t be bothered to do all the boring calculations to actually build it so quickly moves on to something else.

    #269280
    Dave
    Participant

    CAPTAIN CHAOS EMERALD

    Rimmer redesigns his green suit and hat in a further six colours. He then finds that when he puts them all in the same hologrammatic wardrobe together, he turns yellow and his hair stands on end.

    #269281
    Dave
    Participant

    SCRAP BRAIN

    Rimmer comes up with an inventive new insulting nickname for Kryten.

    #269307
    cwickham
    Participant

    OUT OF MATHS IN THE RED

    Doug writes a 90-minute stage show revolving entirely around shit maths puzzles.

    #269308
    Dave
    Participant

    OUT OF THE RED

    Alternative ending to Back In The Red that sees Lister, Cat, Kryten, Kochanski and Rimmer escape Red Dwarf in a Starbug and leave the resurrected crew behind to essentially go back to the normal Red Dwarf status quo.

    #269309
    Dave
    Participant

    OUT OF THE BED

    Doug Naylor wakes up on a Sunday morning, gets up and goes online to see that the Red Dwarf fan community has inadvertently taken seriously a joke he made about a 90-minute TV special about the cast playing versions of themselves.

    #269310
    Dave
    Participant

    OUT OF THE CRED

    Red Dwarf fans start to lose faith in future plans for the franchise.

    #269311

    SIMPLY RED DWARF

    Re-release of Just the Episodes box set with Mick Hucknall introducing each episode.

    #269312

    BLUE

    When Lister gets down over Rimmer’s departure, Kryten creates a AR theme park centred around Simply Red’s 1998 album.

    #269313

    HOLDING BACK THE NINE YEARS LATER

    Doug commissions Mick Hucknall to sing an intro to Back to Earth explaining why he has decided to time jump 9 years after the end of Only the Good

    #269314

    SHE’ll HAVE TO GO

    Kryten duets with Mick Hucknall to express his feelings around Miss Kochanski’s arrival.

    #269315

    MONEY’S TOO TIGHT TO MENTION

    In a bit to convince Lister he is strapped for cash so he can borrow some money to buy him a birthday present, Rimmer spends the preceding weeks dueting with Mick Hucknall

    #269316

    YOU’RE BORN AND YOU DIE. THE FIFTH STUDIO ALBUM BY SIMPLY RED IS CALLED ‘LIFE’ AND THAT’S STILL TO COME.

    Facing his mortality, Lister excites himself with the prospect of listening to a mid 1990s soul album.

    #269317
    Warbodog
    Participant

    OUT OF THE THREAD

    Desperate to pad out a lightweight feature-length special, Doug plagiarises insane scenarios from a pisstake forum thread.

    #269318
    Warbodog
    Participant

    OUT OF THE BED

    Doug Naylor wakes up on a Sunday morning, gets up and goes online to see that the Red Dwarf fan community has inadvertently taken seriously a joke he made about a 90-minute TV special about the cast playing versions of themselves.

    I DON’T BELIEVE YOU, I SIMPLY DON’T BELIEVE YOU

    A Red Dwarf fan is so bewildered by a vague summary of Red Dwarf related news that he refuses to accept it’s actually happening probably.

    #269321
    cwickham
    Participant

    SMUTTIER RAP

    Red Dwarf’s warm-up act releases his X-rated follow-up to his hit single.

    #269322
    cwickham
    Participant

    STUTTER WRAP

    Red Dwarf’s warm-up act releases a range of wrapping paper based on his hit single.

    #269323
    cwickham
    Participant

    SPLUTTER RAP

    Red Dwarf’s warm-up act is unclear in what he says.

    #269324
    Dave
    Participant

    SKUTTER RAP

    The skutters are wrongly arrested for murder, and Lister has to clear their name.

    #269325
    cwickham
    Participant

    GUTTER RAP

    Red Dwarf’s warm-up act sings about drainage.

    #269326
    cwickham
    Participant

    CUTTER RAP

    Red Dwarf’s warm-up act sings about scissors.

    #269327
    cwickham
    Participant

    NUTTER RAP

    Red Dwarf’s warm-up act sings about mental illness with the same level of sensitivity as he did about people with speech impediments.

    #269328
    cwickham
    Participant

    BUTTER RAP

    Red Dwarf’s warm-up act sings about dairy products.

    #269329
    cwickham
    Participant

    MUTTER RAP

    Red Dwarf’s warm-up act sings under his breath.

    #269330
    cwickham
    Participant

    PUTTER RAP

    Red Dwarf’s warm-up act sings about golf.

    #269331
    Dave
    Participant

    OUT OF THE RED ONE

    When Doug tries to order a fancy new 4k camera to film the next series of Red Dwarf, his retailer tells him that they unfortunately don’t have any stock at the moment.

    #269332
    cwickham
    Participant

    OUT OF THE PIT

    Doug accidentally hands in an old role-playing game book in place of his script for the new Red Dwarf special.

    #269333
    Warbodog
    Participant

    WE WANT OUT OF THE RED FLYING OUT OF OUR BUTTSKIS

    GNP’s lawyers find a loophole to seize the shirt off Doug’s back.

    #269334
    Captain Bollocks
    Participant

    OUT OF THE RED

    A 90-minute film starring the guys as fictitious versions of themselves, because everyone’s so very different, as we all know, from their Red Dwarf characters. It’s called Out Of The Red. It’s a story about how they get involved in a worldwide conspiracy, made in the present day. I think it gives a new element to the guys’ chemistry, and you know, it’ll run a bit different and a new way to go.

    #269336
    Captain Bollocks
    Participant

    META THAN LIFE

    G&T user posts actual Doug Naylor idea in stupidly long thread about terrible ideas for episodes despite references having already been made to it previously, specifically in order to use an awful joke pun title for his next entry like he’s fucking supposed to.

    #269337
    Dave
    Participant

    BACK IN BACK TO EARTH

    The cast of Red Dwarf show up on the set of Out Of The Red and feel a strange sense of Deja Vu.

    #269338
    Dave
    Participant

    OUT OF INTO THE GLOOP

    Rob writes a sequel to his fan-acted script that sees the grey gloop reappear and turn into the cast of Red Dwarf, playing versions of themselves.

    #269339
    Dave
    Participant

    OUT OF THE RED TIME

    A fan of Red Dwarf sits down at 7th April 2022 at 8:59pm and switches on Dave to watch Doug’s new definitely-not-Red-Dwarf project, only for his future self from 90 minutes hence to appear and tell him that he now hates Red Dwarf after watching it. Disgusted by what he has become, the fan attacks himself and is ultimately killed by his future self, creating dimensional anomalies that expand the size of his sofa by 212%.

    #269340
    Dave
    Participant

    POUT OF THE RED

    Communist fashion show.

    #269341
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT

    The cast of Into the Gloop play the fictitious versions of the Red Dwarf cast from Out of the Red.

    #269342

    OUT OF THE RED (BETTER DEAD THAN SMEG)

    Canadian rock outfit Sum 41 re-write their 2003 single to express their dislike of a show that doesn’t even exist yet.

    #269343
    cwickham
    Participant

    OUT OF THE RED

    Accurate description of two of the best endings for the video game Papers, Please.

    #269344
    Jenuall
    Participant

    OUT OF THE MED

    Doug abuses a loophole to get around the current legal wrangles surrounding the show by filming his new special in the Mediterranean

    #269345
    Warbodog
    Participant

    BACK IN OUT OF THE RED

    Sci-fi comedy drama that will see the cast of Red Dwarf play fictitious versions of themselves who time travel back into the events of a previous 90-minute comedy special. Kind of like Back to the Future Part II, but an original idea.

    #269346
    cwickham
    Participant

    BACKING OUT OF THE RED

    Everyone leaves Red Dwarf very slowly and carefully.

    #269347
    Jenuall
    Participant

    BACK IN THE GLOOP

    Rob pens a new script where the fan cast from In The Gloop actually didn’t get deleted from existence but re-appeared back on a version of Red Dwarf recreated by the Gloop to its original specifications. Also they’re all playing versions of themselves or something

    #269348
    Moonlight
    Participant

    YER OUT OF THE RED

    Doug gets thrown out of GNP, and legally barred from ever watching or thinking about Red Dwarf again. Meanwhile, Rob and Paul milk the ever loving shit out of the franchise with a sea of spin-off material and a reboot series.

    #269349
    Jenuall
    Participant

    OUT OF THE FED

    Star Trek crossover episode where the antics of the boys from the Dwarf result in the crew of the Enterprise being kicked out of the federation

    #269350
    cwickham
    Participant

    GOUT OF THE RED

    Lister contracts a really bad case of inflammatory arthritis.

    #269351
    cwickham
    Participant

    LOUT OF THE RED

    Lister is loutish all over Red Dwarf.

    #269352
    cwickham
    Participant

    BOUT OF THE RED

    A fight to the death occurs between Lenin and McCarthy.

    #269353
    cwickham
    Participant

    POUT OF THE RED

    Lister is all sulky.

    #269354
    cwickham
    Participant

    SHOUT OF THE RED

    Lister is loud.

    #269355
    cwickham
    Participant

    ROUT OF THE RED

    Documentary on the defeat of communism.

    #269356

    OUT OF THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER

    Lister finds that all copies of the 1990 film based on the Tom Clancy debut novel have been checked out of the the ships video rental store, which leaves him confused being the only crew member left alive!

    #269357
    Dave
    Participant

    DOUBT OF THE RED

    Opinions are mixed over how good Doug’s new non-Dwarf Dwarf project is likely to be.

    #269358
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GET OUT OF THE RED

    Red Dwarf fans get disproportionately wound up over a planned one-off comedy programme they don’t have to watch starring some of their favourite people.

    #269360
    Dave
    Participant

    I’M SURE THE DOG FOOD WILL BE LOVELY

    Rob Grant responds with an Eric Cantona-style cryptic comment when asked about Doug’s new non-Dwarf Dwarf project.

    #269361
    Dave
    Participant

    THIS IS GONNA SOLVE ALL OUR SUPPLY PROBLEMS

    In an attempt to create more content for Dave despite ongoing legal wranglings, Doug Naylor puts Red Dwarf into a triplicator, resulting in two new shows: one is an inspired and innovative brand new sci-fi comedy drama; the other is the cast of Red Dwarf in their civvies running around trying to improvise comedy off the back of some half-baked global conspiracy plot.

    #269362
    Dave
    Participant

    GIVE NICHE A CHANCE

    Proponents of Doug’s new non-Dwarf Dwarf project insist that it could be a great new programme, despite it seeming only appealing to a subset of a subset of TV comedy/sci-fi fans.

    #269363
    Dave
    Participant

    THIS IS TOTALLY SHADY! IT’S BEYOND SHADY, IT’S SURREAL!

    Rob Grant is incredulous when he hears how Doug Naylor intends to circumvent their current legal wranglings to produce new non-Dwarf Dwarf.

     

    #269364
    Warbodog
    Participant

    INSTEAD OF THE RED

    New sci-fi comedy drama by Red Dwarf co-creator Doug Naylor set on a mining ship in the future, starring Craig Charles, Chris Barrie, et al. Subject to advance criticism from picky fans for sounding “sarcastically similar” to the earlier show.

    #269365
    Dave
    Participant

    SHE’S OUT OF MY… RED

    Theme tune to Out Of The Red, sung by Craig Charles, which is 100% original and not based on any previous song, referring to the fact that Chloe Annett hasn’t been asked back for Doug’s new project.

    #269366
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    THE BRITTAS EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

    Suddenly aware that a contingent of Red Dwarf fans will support their “favourite people” in anything as long as it’s tangentially related to a show they love, Dave recommissions The Brittas Empire for another 24 episodes.  In a spot of recasting, Craig Charles takes up the role of Councillor  Drugget so they can do some nod and winks about the priory.

    #269367
    Jenuall
    Participant

    MAID MARIAN AND HER PRINCE AMONG MEN

    Hoping to fully exploit a newly identified market Dave creates a hybrid revival of two 90s comedy shows featuring Red Dwarf cast members

    #269368

    SCRAPHEAP STREET

    Robert Llewellyn hosts a show whereby Craig Charles as Lloyd Mullaney rebuilds Coronation Street from scrap metal.

    #269369
    Dave
    Participant

    IN AND OUT OF LOVETT

    Doug Naylor-penned sitcom about an ageing Jon Bon Jovi tribute act starring everyone’s favourite grumpypants.

    #269370
    Dave
    Participant

    KEEP THE FAITH

    Doug tries to convince fans that his new projects will be good, with the help of Jon Bon Jovi.

    #269371
    Dave
    Participant

    SINCE ALWAYS!

    Lister tells Rimmer how long he’s been a Bon Jovi fan.

    #269372
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    IT’S MY LIFE

    Doug realises that a lone voice of negativity towards one of his ideas doesn’t actually affect him in any way from doing what he wants to do.

    #269373
    Jenuall
    Participant

    YOU’RE TOO OLD TO RECEIVE WHAT WE’RE TRYING TO TRANSMIT!

    Doug rejects the frosty reception to his new ideas from some old school stalwart Red Dwarf fans

    #269374
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-EIGHT

    The Skutters clean Red Dwarf at a constant rate, but the Dwarfers keep making a mess continuously.

    48 Skutters can completely clean Red Dwarf from top to bottom in 90 days.

    120 Skutters can completely clean Red Dwarf in 30 days.

    How many Skutters would be needed to completely clean the ship in 16 days, rounded to the nearest whole Skutter?

    #269375
    Warbodog
    Participant

    OUT OF THE RED BUTTSKI

    Doug finally commissions enough hot diarrhoea to pop out Rob Grant’s stubbornly-squeezed buttski plug and get some Red Dwarf flowing.

    #269376
    Jenuall
    Participant

    I WAS WITH YOU ALL THE WAY UP TO ‘SKUTTERS’

    I don’t get this one, if the Dwarfers are dirtying the ship at a constant rate and each individual skutter cleans at a constant rate then I can’t get a formula that works with these numbers!

    #269377
    Dave
    Participant

    NEW JERSEY

    The Red Dwarf online shop reopens, selling a single item of clothing: a London Jets sports jersey, modelled in the listing photograph by none other than Jon Bon Jovi.

    #269378
    Dave
    Participant

    SOMEDAY I’LL WORK SATURDAY NIGHT

    Remastered version of Balance Of Power in which the flashback disco conversation is now soundtracked by Bon Jovi.

    #269379
    cwickham
    Participant

    CLUES IN THE RED

    Let’s say that M is the amount of mess in the ship at the beginning of day 1, and d is the amount of mess generated by the Dwarfers in 1 day.

    To get the amount of mess 1 Skutter can clean up per day, for the 48 Skutters over 90 days, we’d get (M + 90d)/(48*90)
    To get the amount of mess 1 Skutter cleans per day, for the 120 Skutters over 30 days, we’d get (M + 30d)/(120*30)

    Since the Skutters always clean the same amount, the two formulas are going to be equal.

    120 * 30 = 3600, and 48 * 90 = 4320, so:

    (M + 90r)/4320 = (M + 30d)/3600.

    Solve for M, and we get M=270d, or d = M/270.

    #269380
    cwickham
    Participant

    TYPOS IN CLUES IN THE RED

    That on the penultimate line should be a d, obviously

    #269393
    Dave
    Participant

    THEME²

    Grant Naylor like the Red Dwarf opening theme so much that they decide it would be even better to have two of them at the same time for Series V. However, they don’t get on and one of them is deleted by the time Series VI rolls around.

    #269406
    Dave
    Participant

    AUDIO PRE-ECHOES

    When Red Dwarf approaches the speed of sound, the crew start hearing the things they say just before they say them.

    #269407
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE CLITORIS EMPIRE

    Rimmer travels to an alternative reality where he is merely a fictional character in a TV show. He meets the actor who plays him and inexplicably mishears the name of the other sitcom he stars in.

    #269408
    cwickham
    Participant

    CLIT OR SIS

    Rimmer has to decide whether to commit incest or not.

    #269481
    cwickham
    Participant

    RTD²

    When Chris Chibnall attempts to renew his contract as showrunner of Doctor Who, it turns out it’s actually a duplicate of the contract another showrunner signed in 2003 because everyone’s sick to death of him.

    #269484
    Dave
    Participant

    BOOOK TO REALITY

    The boys from the Dwarf wake up and realise they’ve actually just been reading a comedy sci-fi novel for four years.

    #269485
    Dave
    Participant

    BOOOK TO EARTH

    The boys from the Dwarf find out they are just fictional characters from a sci-fi comedy novel.

    #269486
    Dave
    Participant

    BOOOK IN THE RED

    During their Red Dwarf rewatches, everyone decides to skip the Series VIII opener and read a good novel instead.

    #269488
    cwickham
    Participant

    BABADOOK TO REALITY

    The Dwarfers wake up to discover they are actually monsters in a children’s book.

    #269489
    cwickham
    Participant

    BABADOOK IN THE RED

    The Polymorph torments the Dwarfers after they become aware of its existence.

    #269490
    cwickham
    Participant

    BABADOOK TO EARTH

    “Back to Earth” torments the Dwarfers after they become aware of its existence.

    #269602
    Warbodog
    Participant

    YOUR OWN DEATH AND HOW TO COPE WITH IT

    Rimmer converts his death tape into a blade for cutting curves.

    #269603
    Warbodog
    Participant

    BACK TO BACK WORLD

    The one where everyone’s a conjoined twin.

    #269652
    cwickham
    Participant

    DIY

    The DNA machine comes back, but with some assembly required.

    #269653
    cwickham
    Participant

    DYK

    The DNA machine comes back, but nobody knows about it.

    #269654
    cwickham
    Participant

    KYD

    The DNA machine comes back, and turns all Lister’s money into the currency of the Cayman Islands.

    #269655
    cwickham
    Participant

    KND

    The DNA machine comes back, and turns the Dwarfers into characters from a Cartoon Network series.

    #269656
    Dave
    Participant

    BACK FROM THE DEAD

    Special commemorative T-Shirt produced to mark the long-awaited return of the Idea For An Episode thread after an extended absence, featuring all the regular contributors as skeletons.

    #269657
    Dave
    Participant

    BACK FROM THE GRATEFUL DEAD

    Lister uses the time drive to go back and see a gig from one of his favourite bands. Upon his return, he offers an effusive review.

    #269658
    Dave
    Participant

    BARACK FROM THE DEAD

    The Boys From The Dwarf are attacked by zombie US presidents.

    #269659
    Dave
    Participant

    CACK FROM THE THREAD

    Other G&T posters notice that the Idea For An Episode thread is active again.

    #269660
    Dave
    Participant

    SNACK FROM THE BREAD

    Lister makes a sandwich.

Viewing 100 posts - 12,201 through 12,300 (of 12,349 total)
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