GlenTokyo

[GlenTokyo]

Friends is amazing compared to some of the dross that comes over from America. You might be able to write a list of things better than Friends, but you can write a bigger one of things a lot worse, The Big Bang Theory, 2 Broke Girls, The Great Indoors, most Netflix attempts at sitcoms etc

[GlenTokyo]

You can’t fix it, the edit button doesn’t do anything, our mistakes live forever on the G&T Forums

[GlenTokyo]

Imagine my surprise when I found out that he *does* call himself Derek IX, but only when he’s travelling on business in France.

He does but only due to Derek de retour sur Terre being the name of an infamous serial killer in France

[GlenTokyo]

okay but what if after Derek 8, there was a new guy called Back To Derek? you wouldn’t call him Derek 9 would you, you’d call him Back To Derek. because that’s his name

Back to Derek would keep asking to be called by his correct name, to responses of “fuck off you’re Derek IX” and then he’d go home to his wife and cry, eventually he’d take it up with management, “we know you’re called Back to Derek, but you did come after Derek 8, so there’s nothing we’re willing to do about it”.

At the highest court in the land Back to Derek the right honourable Douglas Naylor rules he should be awarded £50million of compensation and henceforth any reference to him as anything but Back to Derek be a crime in itself with a punishment of 120 hours of community service.

[GlenTokyo]

It’d be harder to do Phwoaarrr visually. That’s probably the only reason it didn’t get done. Would be straight up VIII’s flagpole otherwise.

[GlenTokyo]

If you are appealing to apathy now though, why not just let people call it Series IX?

Because it’s called Back to Earth, but I’d never presume anyone pays attention to what I say anyway.

[GlenTokyo]

If Derek from work left and was replaced by Clive, would you call Clive Derek 2 or Clive?

It might make sense to call Back to Earth Red Dwarf IX if BtE wasn’t given a name, for example if it had just been called Red Dwarf as some sort of special semi reboot thing, but it was called Back to Earth, it’s not a tongue twister, it’s easily shortened and is as quick to say as “Red Dwarf IX” because you say “I’m going to watch Red Dwarf IX” not “Im going to watch IX” and with Back to Earth you just say “Back to Earth”.

The only thing if doesn’t do is tell you where it comes chronologically, but we know where it comes, so why so we have to call if IX? And nobody else outside this thread gives a shit so why not just call it Back to Earth?

[GlenTokyo]

When you see it like that it makes you think that 1998’s chapter in Doug’s memoir will be called “Randy”.

[GlenTokyo]

You have to think that series/season IX would be fucking horrible to watch then. Love of man’s life is suddenly and violently killed and then he has to deal with it.

Sort of glad it doesn’t exist if that’s the story arc haha

[GlenTokyo]

This page has the sleeping bags from the bunks and from Rimmer’s quarters in Me2 on it.

If they weren’t these they’re extremely similar.

[GlenTokyo]

Yeah definitely. Just an interesting thing to look at over the years. Probably more for an essay or something though.

[GlenTokyo]

Then it all went cringe worthy and sexist and I fell into a dull torpor.

It’s an interesting topic is sexism in Red Dwarf. I was watching The Bodysnatcher collection commentaries from Ed and Doug and there’s a bit where Ed says that Ruby was in the edit for Kryten and remarked “and they say you can’t write for women” upon the reveal.

Seems to flop around from casual sexism, to simple feminism like the Parallel Universe male models stuff, then to creepy or actually offensive sexism (elbow titting anyone?). The shower stuff in Krytie TV is particularly awful if you ask me. There’s sort of a suggestion that they’re getting paid until Kochanski sees herself, and then you realise Kryten is at the centre of the Red Dwarf iCloud leak and should probably be charged for that too.

[GlenTokyo]

Just call it Back 9 and you’ll get the gold crowd.

[GlenTokyo]

you have to wonder since that tower’s right in the middle of the prison and connected to FUCK ALL, how anyone ever actually goes in and out of those cells

The DVD would suggest retractable bridges.

It is a shit design though.

[GlenTokyo]

*Not disputing that it’s the ninth outing of Red Dwarf, just stating the fact that it’s called Back to Earth not Red Dwarf IX.

Damned lack of editing function

[GlenTokyo]

<But it *is* the ninth series of Red Dwarf.>

Not disputing that it’s the ninth outing of Red Dwarf, just the fact that it’s called Back to Earth not Red Dwarf IX.

KyoSo I get your point but it shouldn’t matter, Netflix or whoever will put it in the chronological right place regardless. Only really a problem if you’re trying to torrent it or something or you’re setting up a Plex server and you’ve never seen Red Dwarf.

[GlenTokyo]

If we’re taking word of the author, then Doug is adamant that BTE is not Series IX. So there.

The Lord hath spoke, BTE is not Series IX.

Now that’s sorted, what was this topic about again?

[GlenTokyo]

Why doesn’t someone Twitter at Doug. Get it straight from the horse’s mouth like.

[GlenTokyo]

Not really. Just think the releases in English are the ones to look at considering origin.

[GlenTokyo]

In France Jaws is called ‘The Teeth From The Sea’. I’ll stick to native language releases.

[GlenTokyo]

Roman numerals were on the videos, I, II, III etc

The only series without a numeral applied in an official capacity is Back To Earth which strangely given that it’s called Back to Earth is referred to as Back to Earth.

[GlenTokyo]

Definitely a “don’t give off enough heat” if you’re being picky though.

[GlenTokyo]

It was a FLIR type heat sensor thing so for those purposes then yeah, they wouldn’t register. Rimmer would be a red sprout sized blob 4 feet in the air and nothing else, and assuming in universe Kryten is made of metal/ceramics/has heatsinks and fans etc like real robots do he’d be mostly invisible so long as his outer plating was cool

[GlenTokyo]

Watched the deleted scenes for VIII recently due in part to this thread. To be honest, I have never wanted to see more of VIII so didn’t bother in 2005 or whenever it came out, or any year since, but I have to say with a few reshoots of the cesiumfrankolithicmixyalibidiumruxydixydoxydexydroxide bits from Chloë and Robert, the ending where Rimmer is a twat and leaves the crew to find their own way is miles better. Obviously it’s a bit heartless but compared to the one we got I think it’s funnier and more in universe than having the grim reaper appear.

[GlenTokyo]

Can 1 episode be a series? As written and as best presented it’s just the one, what would we do then? Advertising is the problem.

I don’t see why it needs to be referred to as anything but Back to Earth to be honest, it’s only 3 syllables.

[GlenTokyo]

But Series IX is a thing in canon isn’t it? (as much as you can take Red Dwarf canon as reliable), it’s just we haven’t seen it, we know that it’s a transition series between VIII and the Dave era, maybe one day we’ll get a novel about it if not a series.

[GlenTokyo]

BtE isn’t series IX in the same way that the Star Wars Holiday Special isn’t Star Wars Episode V.

A stand alone, basically a pilot for Dave that we also got to see, it served a purpose but it’s not IX, it’s not even a series really. It’s meant to be one episode. You could call it a mini series I suppose but anyway, being called Back To Earth shows you that it’s not IX, otherwise it’d be called IX wouldn’t it?

[GlenTokyo]

*Passed *Palate

If somebody would clean my pallets though I’d appreciate it.

[GlenTokyo]

Yeah you could do a good job having got there in the wrong way, there are people practicing law and even medicine that are perfectly good at it until it’s found out they never passes their exams or something, and maybe the situation they’re in would bring something out of him and he’d be immense in a time of crisis, but it’s just a bit unnecessary to turn every character into a comedy one. In Series VIII when you have Ackerman as the ridiculous authority figure can’t Hollister just be the captain? It can still be funny, the chicken costume was funny, probably more funny because the character has been established as competent and respected so it’s unexpected.

It’s nice to have a serious character to act as a bit of a threat or pallet cleanser.

[GlenTokyo]

Possibly, but considering in later series space is basically the middle aisle of Aldi, they’d have picked up a time drive or dimension ripper or Supralight FTL drive or something that would have them back.

I always thought that conversation between Hollister and Newton showed Hollister in a good light, as though they’re on it and they’ll have possible solutions soon, which is contradicted unfortunately later on, of all the series VIII issues, Dennis the donut boy annoys me more than most.

[GlenTokyo]

To be fair, Katerina is supposedly a science officer of the crew, so would have been present in Only the Good too, along with a lot of other intelligent people you’d assume.

I always thought that if you’d gone with the crew, all the ships, intelligent people and supplies, they would have got back to Earth pretty quick sharpish. They also had the good Holly. If the shit one can make the hop drive, the good one could probably get them back to Earth and probably even to the correct time period with a bit of wibbly space thing assistance, or another time drive from a derelict.

[GlenTokyo]

does kochanski have a big penis in the mirror universe?

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/354/018/b57.gif

[GlenTokyo]

I think they should do that for XIII. Like the millennium falcon. Full scale in a field, blue curtain around it for compositing. When there’s a Starbug scene film it handheld and pipe it in to the studio. Would be great. And then take it on a tour of Britain.

I would honestly build a full-scale Starbug if I won the Euromillions.

[GlenTokyo]

It’s also be made of polystyrene probably, or a fire retardant foam, so I doubt it would do much damage if it fell on anyone. They could even make it hollow and put a giant helium balloon in it, fly it round freely.

[GlenTokyo]

A big dick because Rimmer has never seen one.

[GlenTokyo]

Can’t see it at the O2. What would that be like? Disney on ice? Half scale Starbug in the rigging that flies around above the audience? Tongue Tied live dance number? I’d think a more low key theatre setting would suit Dwarf and the budget better but whatever I’ll probably go anyway.

[GlenTokyo]

If they did a live show on a shoestring budget and charged 30 quid a go for it to finance XIII and XIV extra gloss then I’m all for it.

City halls, 2000+ seats, 20 venues across the country, £1,000,000 for model shots and special effects.

Peppers ghost stage effects. Dramatic re-enactments of the greatest stories ever told 20 times on the DVDs haha

[GlenTokyo]

I think they’ll make 2 series at least.

[GlenTokyo]

They could have found their way into the botanical gardens which may have had some kind of super filtration system which saved it, or the radiation could’ve mutated it and it expanded to cover the lower decks and hold and provided the environment, squirrels to hunt and some kind of super wasp as a predator for the Cat race to overcome.

[GlenTokyo]

If a human was hit with a massive wave of radiation they would start to fall to bits, skin off, cell walls break down, leaky, puddle like death. Which would have been a very disturbing episode of Red Dwarf.

Heat must have come into play somewhere for all the ash, if not from the leak, a dark interpretation could be that Holly got fed up at looking at dead puddles of people and cranked up the heat, then had the skutters repair any faulty systems.

The reason Red Dwarf drifted is addressed somewhere I’m sure, that it had to bugger off because it was massively radioactive and wasn’t salvageable given the decay rate of the radioactive material, maybe in a novel.

[GlenTokyo]

They would have been well within their rights to stick a pixel filter over Norm, accurate for the universe. Pre accident.

[GlenTokyo]

I made this one a while back, but it’s for Region 1, and I can’t remember if I finished the Region 2 one before I had a technical laptop shitting the bed issue</img>

[GlenTokyo]

It’s not Red Dwarf in my opinion. VIII is bad Red Dwarf, BtE is a weird knock-off Red Dwarf you buy in Aldi where half of it’s been taped over with an episode of Coronation Street. Characters weren’t quite right, tone was all over the place.

In my opinion that makes it categorically worse.

[GlenTokyo]

Yeah as long as the Red Dwarf film isn’t another Coronation Street/Red Dwarf/ Blade Runner hybrid made for a few grand in the space of a couple of weeks with little to no rehearsal time, I think the fans would welcome it personally.

I don’t like BtE because it’s terrible. I was glad to have Dwarf back at the time, but in the end it’s worse than VIII and that was the “classic” Red Dwarf recipe, audience sitcom, bunk room, even had Norman.

[GlenTokyo]

Ooooh mi grapes Mr Lister sir

*Sniff* Crabpaste sir

[GlenTokyo]

Timewave is irreparably damaged by unnecessarily offensive “jokes”.

Sure it looks nice in places, Rimmer has a few good bits but you know what, Animal Hospital was a good TV show, and Jim’ll Fix It has a really good theme tune, but Animal Hospital isn’t repeated, and any ‘Top Retro TV Tunes’ rundown that actually wants to see the light of day will omit it.

Truly bad, offensive writing is a new red sock in the white wash, whether you’ve got six pairs or one straggler, your clothes are fucked.

*Yewtree reference not sponsored by Doug Naylor

I’m strongly of the opinion that Timewave is empirically awful so it’ll be interesting to see how people “in the biz” see it.

[GlenTokyo]

I once bought a signed copy of Backwards from eBay for about a tenner and it isn’t signed.

Paid 99p each for Infinity and BTL and they’re both signed by Rob and Doug.

[GlenTokyo]

One on eBay atm

https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.co.uk%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F122753685855

Like how it says wicked strength on the back but it’s 3.5% haha, can’t imagine Lister getting out of bed for anything not approaching Special Brew levels.

[GlenTokyo]

Or failing that, just have the lager at a supermarket.

[GlenTokyo]

>Worth mentioning that the bars and pubs are not allowed to give it away to take out the establishment as they are not an off license.

There are pubs that do allow you to takeaway bottles though, why not do it through those because it’s pretty clear people want the bottle for memorabilia purposes not because it’s a quality beverage.

They should have just made a can of shandy that you could get from a newsagents.

[Author]

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