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GUNMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE

In an attempt to remove a Simulant computer virus from Starbug’s Navicomp, the crew uses the AR unit to enter Kryten’s dreams and battle the virus’s avatar: the Four-Poster Bed of the Apocalypse.

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WAITING FOR TOG

The Cat Priest freezes to death because he hasn’t got a warm enough duvet.

TOGLYMORPH

The polymorph disguises itself by transforming into various types of sheets, blankets, duvets, and quilts.

THE INQUISITOG

A bedsheet that’s survived until the end of time travels through eternity, judging whether those who sleep under it have led worthy lives.

BACK TOG REALITY

Lister wakes up and finds out that all of his experiences on Red Dwarf were just a dream he was having asleep under a particularly snug quilt.

MECHTOGRACY

All of the sentient sheets, blankets, duvets, and quilts go on strike, in order to get Kryten to wash them more often.

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Not exactly on topic for the thread, but Ian’s connecting wall inspired me to have a go at making my own, so…
CONNECTIONS IN THE RED PART 2 – CHARACTERS BY SINGLE NAMES (OR TITLES)

I only got one group correct on this, and I was on the right lines for one of the others. Rot13:

V tbg gur onq thlf tebhc.

V gubhtug nabgure tebhc zvtug or “punenpgref Yvfgre unf xvffrq” – fb V xrcg vapyhqvat Crgr Genagre’f Fvfgre (be ng yrnfg ure Cfvera irefvba) naq Xbpunafxv.

One that might be guessable even if you didn’t know what it was doing. Even better, there was no fourth episode for one of the categories, so I left it “N/A.” They must sometimes have a “sorry, we couldn’t think of four” placeholder on the show, right?

Got all four groups on this!

At first I thought one of the connections might be rcvfbqrf gung tnir gurve anzrf gb Olgrf ba gur ivqrb eryrnfrf, so I spent some time trying to remember those.

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Avatar checks out.

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Gerry just has his own code.

£50 -> “No.”
300%! -> “I’ll think about it.”
(7 + 8) -> “Yes, please.”
#@JONKD -> “Excuse me, I’m foreign. Could you point me in the direction of the nearest Wagamama?”

That’s Numberwang!

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Gilliamesque.

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Is it too late to have Hattie play the Doctor?

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It was an accident. Robert was wearing a bulletproof vest and Danny was supposed to shoot him in the back, but he missed and the bullet flew off on that crazy trajectory. They decided to keep it because it looked funnier that way.

It was improvised, like the Alien chestburster scene, the Joker fiddling with the detonator while the hospital blows up, and Robert Downey Jr telling the reporters “I am Iron Man.”

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I think animation would be unnecessary expense and effort when we could have audio or novel and our imaginations, which would also likely look better. 

Or maybe we don’t even need audio or novel and we use just our imaginations.
That can only end well.

Indeed.

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The first specific episode I remember seeing was Confidence and Paranoia, in the 1994 repeat run. I remember other episodes being on TV, but only remember that one in particular because was scared by the bit where Confidence tells Lister to take off his helmet in space and then explodes.

After that, I don’t remember seeing any more of the 1994 repeat run. Next, I did see the early 1996 repeats of series VI, from Legion onwards. This also means that the subsequent stand-alone repeat of Dimension Jump was the first episode I saw of series IV – I remember thinking that it was going to resolve the Out of Time cliffhanger, and being disappointed that it didn’t.

I saw all of VII in order on broadcast.

The End (remastered) in February 1998, when it was shown before Red Dwarf Night.

Then the remastered broadcasts of series I and II. (Except I missed Thanks For the Memory.)

Around this time I also read the novels, the Soup script books, and the Programme Guide, giving me spoilers aplenty for episodes I hadn’t seen!

Then series VIII on broadcast, followed by the 1999 broadcasts of series III remastered.

Also around this time, a friend at school lent me his videos of series IV and V. But I can’t remember which Bytes I saw in which order! But for the purposes of this thread, I’m going to assume I saw IV in order, and V with the Quarantine byte first.

—

So, adding all that up:

Episodes I saw first from each series: s1e1 + s2e1 + s3e1 + s4e5 + s5e4 + s6e2 + s7e1 + s8e1 + BTEe1 + s10e1 + s11e1 + s12e1 + TPEe1 = 21 pts

Series I saw first: I’m going to say 6 because even though it wasn’t home to the first episode I saw, it was the first series where I watched multiple episodes.

Total = 27 pts

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I thought the decision to recast was made after the experience they had working with Grogan again on VI.

Oh, I thought it was just cause Clare didn’t want to commit to doing the role full time. If it was for age reasons, that’d be pretty disappointing. 

Clare Grogan’s appearance in Psirens is covered in Joe Nazzaro’s Comedy, Chaos – and Cowboys! book. From what I can remember she was nervous and struggled a bit with the dialogue, for example pronouncing ‘stasis’ with a short ‘a’. 

Here’s what some other sources say about the reason Kochanski was recast for VII:

The Programme Guide says: “When the decision was taken to include Kochanski as a regular, Doug Naylor chose to give the part to a more experienced actress, and to alter the character so she would fit more neatly into the established team.”

The VII DVD booklet says it was because Grogan “had since moved on to TV presenting. She also represented an ‘iconic’ Kochanski, one to be talked about rather than to, and it was felt that she wouldn’t slot easily into a more filled-out role.”

TOS’s Complete Guide says: “It was felt that Clare Grogan was more of a ‘presenter’ now, and perhaps wasn’t right to play the part as a regular character.“

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Inspired by this and its many replies…

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Who has had a Ganymede.tv dream?

Me! And a few other people on that page.

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(DRAMATIC “2001”-TYPE MUSIC) # TO GANYMEDE AND TITAN, YES, SIR, I’VE BEEN AROUND… # LISTER, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HIT OVER THE HEAD WITH A WELDING MALLET? NO? THEN SHUT UP AND PUSH THE TROLLEY. YES, SIR, RIMMER! RIGHT. CORRIDOR 159. (LISTER HUMS THE SAME TUNE) LISTER, SHUT UP! I’M ONLY HUMMING! WELL, DON’T. DON’T HUM AND DON’T MAKE ANY STUPID SOUNDS WITH YOUR CHEEKS. (CLICKS TUNE WITH HIS THROAT) LISTER, ONE MORE SOUND, ANYTHING, AND YOU’RE ON REPORT, MILADDO. WHAT JOB NUMBER’S THIS? (LISTER MIMES HIS ANSWER) RIGHT! THAT’S IT! “LISTER, D, THIRD TECHNICIAN. OFFENCE: OBSTRUCTING A SUPERIOR TECHNICIAN BY HUMMING, CLICKING AND BEING QUIET.” WHEN THE CAPTAIN SEES THIS, YOU’RE DEAD. RIMMER, I’M BORED! BORED?! THIS IS ESSENTIAL ROUTINE MAINTENANCE. IT’S ABSOLUTELY VITAL FOR THE WELL-BEING OF THIS CREW, THIS MISSION AND THIS SHIP. “DISPENSER 172: CHICKEN SOUP NOZZLE CLOGGED.” PASS ME A 14B, LISTER. LISTER, IS THIS A 14B? DOES IT LOOK EVEN REMOTELY LIKE A 14B? THIS IS A 14B, LISTER. THIS IS A 14F. ARE YOU BLIND?

— SHOUTED POSTS THAT SOUND LIKE THEY’RE FROM RED DWARF

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SMEGA-DRIVE FRAMES THAT COME FROM EPISODES OF RED DWARF

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I speak the Queen’s English, American, where raw and roar sound nothing alike but merry, marry and Mary are all homophones.

And if you’re from Baltimore…

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OK, one more talking toilet clip:

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Flicking through channels on an unfamiliar TV, channel number 27 (which may be a doubly unconscious reference) has the show title ‘ROT Dau.’ Someone with me recognises it as a foreign-dubbed Red Dwarf before I do, then I see a series 2 or 3 quality scene with the guys rolling around on a patchwork bedspread getting entangled by slimy green tentacles.

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Whether he’s actually religious is irrelevant. He’s only name-dropping where he went in order to act superior to Lister about how much more moral and spiritual he is than him.

It’s similar to how Future Echoes begins with him boasting to Lister that he got up early to exercise instead of just slobbing around. Sure, he’s unfit and cheats his own time, but that doesn’t matter because putting on a show for Lister is the main thing.

In both cases, Lister fails to take the bait.

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I think I was about 8 when I was first made aware of Inspector Gadget’s existence. Loved it as a kid.

(From https://bsky.app/profile/geekysteven.com/post/3mqwhxjwwzl2g)

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A bit like how in French the long dead language from Futurama is German.

Guten Tag!

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A long Guardian article all about Esperanto:
https://www.theguardian.com/news/ng-interactive/2026/jul/28/nudists-peaceniks-freeloading-travellers-esperanto
No mention of Red Dwarf, sadly.

I saw this link to that article, and was going to post it as a line from something else that sounds like it’s from Red Dwarf:

Is this:

A) Tony Hawks’s follow-up to Playing the Moldovans at Tennis?

B) An article in Starbug’s in-flight magazine?

3) Rimmer’s attempted insult to Holly?

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The post ID of the first post in this topic is #266000. That ends in “6000”.

This topic currently has 6000 posts in it (1 OP + 5999 replies).

(It’ll be up to 6000 replies when I click “Submit” on this one.)

Now that’s a mundane observation for you.

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The full name of the computer is HAL 9000;

I think the use of the “thousand” suffix on a machine or computer is too common to be a specific reference to HAL.

The fact that the computer on Dave Hollins: Space Cadet was called Hab was definitely a HAL parody, though.

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I think Rob and Doug said (in the novel omnibus extras?) they were thinking of Dan Akroyd when they first wrote Lister, and weirdly Craig looks a little like Dan Akroyd to me in those photos (the bottom and middle right ones for example)

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Lister broke his programming so he doesn’t like doing it anymore.
Except for the times when he does like doing it.

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I was going to put this one in the Frames Out of Context thread, but no, I think it belongs here instead:

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I haven’t seen any full episodes of it, but I like the clips I’ve seen of Lower Decks.

I watched Picard season 1 when I used to have Amazon Prime. It wasn’t very good.

Has anyone here dared watch the Section 31 movie? Is it as irredeemably awful as its reputation suggests?

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Kryten is the exact mid-point between Bobby and Cotton Hill.

Edit: Since this is now appearing at the top of a new page, I should clarify that I’m talking about the Kryten tattoo on the last page. This isn’t just some mundane observation I was making out of the blue.

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I watched the Summer Games Done Quick speedrun of Sonic 3&K, and at 22:35 (just before the Flying Battery boss), one of the donation comments featured a familiar phrase:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hK-a-OsWeE#t=22m35s

I know that over the years we’ve posted our share of Sonic/Red Dwarf connections in this thread, but it was surprising to hear a new one out there in the wild! I wonder if “Prof NES” is someone from here…?

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