Jonathan Capps

[Jonathan Capps]

It does indeed.

[Jonathan Capps]

As much as I hate the presentation*, I watch Dave constantly. I’m sure if it’s possible to get Top Gear poisoning, but if it is then I’ll be a terminal case. There’s SO much more they could do to improve HOW they put on these shows, but it’s a joy to have Top Gear, Whose Line is it Anyway and various other treats on Freeview. If only they didn’t effectively randomise the Top Gear episodes and actually go to the small trouble of repeating them in order, then that’d improve things immeasurably.

* This is just becoming a bigger and bigger problem for me. All the cuntinuity announcers have this intolerable sarcastic tone and CONSTANTLY make jokes about their jokes in some hilarious post modern fashion. FUCK. OFF.

[Jonathan Capps]

Then every fan collector will melt.

[Jonathan Capps]

> I could care less about it.

I’ve had a bit of a West Wing kick recently (well, I say ‘bit’, what I actually mean is ‘massive obsessive fit’) and I’ve noticed that only Toby says “could care less” while everyone else, INCLUDING THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND THE GREATEST MAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, says it correctly.

So, yeah! Take that, wrong-o!

[Jonathan Capps]

> We?ll we knew it?d eventually get released all together but as long as they don?t add any more extras I?m quite happy.

I think that’s a pretty fair assumption since the release is in a month and we’ve heard nowt from Andrew about any new stuff.

And yeah, I hope he’s ready for a hoard of idiots pestering him for the box on its own. Never has a community over-valued cardboard casing this much.

[Jonathan Capps]

From what I’ve read in a number of places it’s MUCH more complicated than just removing half the frames. Cutting down from 50 to 25 is a result of the process, yes, but there’s loads more to it than that. Not that I know a great deal about it, mind.

[Jonathan Capps]

> [Sorry, pet hate.]

Someone telling you they moved from the US to the UK when it was actually the other way round is a pet hate?

[Jonathan Capps]

I would love to have sex with your mother.

[Jonathan Capps]

The Beginning and Cold Outside, OBVIOUSLY.

[Jonathan Capps]

> Three words, though: Get a Wii.

That’s not very helpful advice considering Wiis are totally different machines with different goals and games.

Four words, though: Become a PC gamer.

[Jonathan Capps]

Roll On The Floor Fucking Laughing My Arse Off.

I question the strict accuracy of the statement.

[Jonathan Capps]

All these different actors as John Connor is getting seriously messy, now. I mean, the idea of doing a TV series and some movies about the war isn’t entirely without merit, but it still bugs me that the continuity is being messed aroud with so much. Especially when they’re now completely discounting a not wholly terrible film to allow them to spin out the franchise. Bleh.

[Jonathan Capps]

Tonguetied: He’s like Wikipedia, only amazingly he’s more annoying.

[Jonathan Capps]

And I’m pretty sure Phil was being deliciously ironic in his comment. Well, being Phil he’s always deliciously *something*.

Good luck with this, John. Next time you see Julian you should talk to him about it, as he spent a month in Japan learning the language, so I’m sure hes full of helpful pointers.

[Jonathan Capps]

If what I read a few months ago was accurate, they’re actually cutting the school/roll-call scene for the Episode 1 proper. Cowards.

[Jonathan Capps]

Well, obviously it’s just an old message. Surely it’s only recently been made out of date (i.e. in the last year)?

It’s definitely not worth bitching about TOS, anyway (not that I’m saying you are, Somebody) as if there’s one thing that came from that God-awful fuss with matt is that Andrew and co are aware of the limitations and intend to sort it out when they can.

On a side note, I’m actually *looking forward* to writing some boss non-intrusive JavaScript for my final uni project. It’s a nice challenge and very satisfying as it’s good to add some of the functionality JS provides, but there’s absolutely no reason a modern site should require it.

[Jonathan Capps]

> Yes, this is true.. Ian and all the negative comments from everyone on here are the ?direct? cause of my resignation from the club. Thank you all. You are such lovely people.

Paul, don’t you even dare come on here and trying to blame comments on this site for your leaving. You’ve been rude, dismissive and condescending at even the lightest of criticisms. Act high and mighty if you want, but let me tell you it’s hilarious you even think you have the right to do so.

[Jonathan Capps]

> Of course, this depends on the capabilities of whoever replaces him.

Have no worries.

[Jonathan Capps]

We need some sort of special Barrie Fan Girl Sedative.

[Jonathan Capps]

Needless to say, you loved it.

[Jonathan Capps]

*applauds*

[Jonathan Capps]

OH DEAR CHRIST, SOMEONE MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY.

[Jonathan Capps]

I certainly don’t think Catherine Parkinson is *ever* whiny. That’s not her character at all.

I will say, though, that is someone is not keen on Jen or Roy’s shouting in series 1 then the fact that Chris Morris and the cast of Father Ted are great at shouty comedy is utterly irrelevant, surely? I hate Catherine Tate’s catchphrase comedy, but would you defend her by saying The Fast Show was brilliant at it?

[Jonathan Capps]

Oops, sorry, that comment was meant to go in a new thread called ‘The One Thing Me and Phil Should Do Right Now’.

[Jonathan Capps]

HAVE A CHILD AND CALL HIM/HER JONATHAN.

[Jonathan Capps]

> The final episode was a bit ropey but that adjective should be reserved for the likes of The Green Green Grass and The Catherine Tate Show.

No, it shouldn’t. The Green Green Grass is just offensive with the quality of its comedy, but Extras is just as bad if not worse than The Catherine Tate Show in that it has an utter, UTTER cunt as the lead.

All that fucker Ricky Gervais does is forced embarrassing situations, almost always created by his character ‘hilariously’ being racicst, mysoginist, homophobic… the same thing that EVERY CHARACTER HE HAS EVER CREATED does, including his stand-up persona. He’s a lazy shit rag with not a single good joke in his worthless little bones.

[Jonathan Capps]

Extras is utter shite.

[Jonathan Capps]

OMG IWCD FTW BBQ.

[Jonathan Capps]

[Jonathan Capps]

CUNTY FUCKMAS, IDIOTS.

[Jonathan Capps]

They do it on the Lost Series 1 DVD, too, and have never done it since. It’s the commentary on the Pilot episodes and every now and then JJ uses the FORCE OF WILL to pause the episode and show behind the scenes footage as he talks at length about what is happening. It needs to be done more.

[Jonathan Capps]

It might’ve helped if you mentioned the name of the film, Seb ;)

[Jonathan Capps]

> I wonder how many points im gonna get for mowing down an old man now then?

I played Carmageddon: TDR 2000 the other week, to see if was as bad as I remembered it. It was somehow even worse! What a complete waste of space.

[Jonathan Capps]

Did Betamax come with special winter jackets, or something?

[Jonathan Capps]

I have mixed feelings about Jackson. I did really enjoy the LOTR films, and thought the effects were spot on, in the main. But King King was such an overblown, self indulgent mess of a film. It seemed like it was made by someone far too overconfident in his own talents and far, FAR too overconfident in the merits of loads of CGs. So, what do we get? The ultimate low point of a 20 minute (at least it felt that long) fight between a CG Ape and a CG T-Rex and me CLAWING MY OWN EYES OUT WITH BOREDOM.

[Jonathan Capps]

It’s like he’s read John’s NTS review and put EVERYTHING he wanted onto the series 2 DVD! Is he trying to get you into bed, John? Cos you know I have bagsies…

[Jonathan Capps]

> ‘Bodysnatchers’ – ‘Red Dwarf single’

These are basic Red Dwarf precepts, Wilkins!

[Jonathan Capps]

> Not wiggling your arse?

The arse wiggling line was itself a steal of the wanking one. I’ll give you one guess who I stole it from.

[Jonathan Capps]

> This is probably a really bad time to mention that I like Heartbeat :-/

I was going to admit to this, but I thought my stand against AvP bashing was more than enough for one week. When Heartbeat first started my child self utterly loved it, and I still have a great fondness for it. It’s not something I actively watch (although if I stumble across it, I will) but it makes me immensely happy that it’s still going.

Actually, an amusing Heartbeat related story: I have a friend my age who was working as a bus driver one summer. He was given the job of ferrying cast and crew members to the Heartbeat set somewhere in the Dales. When he first arrived, he was confused to see men running towards him waving their arms and shouting. Apparently he and his brand new mini bus had just driven right into a shot and somewhat fucked the 60s feel. I want to see those rushes.

[Jonathan Capps]

> I?ve been emailing Ally Sheedy and Elizabeth Shue the same thing for years, alas no replies.

Oh come on you whore, I want you to lick my willy until I spunk all over your face and tits! You know you want it, you filthy jezebel!

Yours Faithfully,
Sir Anthony Hopkins.

P.S. I am wanking as I write this.

[Jonathan Capps]

Fuck, it started off in the 60s? Well, there you go. Sorry.

[Jonathan Capps]

Its been running for? what 16 years? They?ve had a Christmas Special nearly every year yet it?s STILL set in the 60?s.

PLEASE explain!!!

It was set in the 50s to begin with. I think it’s moving forward in relation to how long it’s been showing.

[Jonathan Capps]

You know you’re all being drastically unfair to malign AvP like this. Never mind all the continuity problems bollocks, it was a damn fun film and it looked great. So fuck you all.

[Jonathan Capps]

I always have to finish a bottle of vodka once it’s been opened, as mum says it’ll do bad after a few hours.

In answer to your question: get drunk as often as possible, regardless of company or lack there-of.

[Jonathan Capps]

> I?m just waiting for Dark Knight. That?s going to be amazing.

Ho yuss. That film is going to be so immense I don’t even know where to begin.

[Jonathan Capps]

When you’re doing motion capture and rendering that realistic… what the fuck is the point of it even being 3D?

[Jonathan Capps]

EGG, LIKE A BIRD’S EGG.

[Jonathan Capps]

It shows he’s just about as big a cunt as the scammer, though.

[Jonathan Capps]

1. Steal Daily Mail
2. Retrieve DVD
3. Nail Daily Mail to Frisbee
4. Fling over rainbow

[Jonathan Capps]

> Yeah, that?s what I?ve been doing. The first TPB, ?What You Leave Behind? (which also includes the standalone story ?The Chain?) is truly exceptional. Is it not out in the UK yet? You might want to consider importing it from Amazon.com?

It is a brilliant 5 issues. But, BKV’s run is even better (save for the last issue, which isn’t out yet). Then again, I think I might be in love with BKV.

[Author]

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