TheLeen

[TheLeen]

Tee hee hee hee…

The cake? Yeah.

[TheLeen]

IN A BIKINI.

I’m kidding, I can’t afford a playpen ball pit, yet, and the enarest one I know that permits adults (sniff) inside is in Copenhagen.

[TheLeen]

Oh God, I read this and now I remember all the horrible details.

[TheLeen]

Well then, Red Dwarf’s 20th obviously means I have to jump into a playpen ball pit.

[TheLeen]

> It was hardly great, but it was more than watchable.

Maybe you watched a different one.

I knew it was going to be the last TNG film and I was absolutely determined to enjoy it, no matter what they do. And I live in my own little world, normally when I’m determined to enjoy myself, I manage! But it was impossible for me because it was lousy beyond words.

I wrote a lengthy review back then for a Star Trek forum that I can’t find now – and I’ve only seen Nemesis this once so I can’t even tell you in detail why exactly I hated it so much (and it got worse each minute of the film) – but I still remember some things… such as:

Issues that are too trivial to actually cock up and they still managed to… cock them up. I.e. they give aliens elaborate masks but don’t think of handing Tom Hardy some contacts. Resulting in Picard and his clone to have different coloured eyes… which is really nasty when you show their faces next to each other in close-ups.

And totally unnecessary nuisances, like recycling storylines from TNG like the fans have never seen the actual show. I’m not even talking about Data finding his older brother (no mentioning of Lore there, was there?) but troy being remote-mind-raped… it was exactly like in that TNG episode.

The entire movie ended up seeming a lot cheaper than it actually was. Like a B movie version, a caricature of itself.

And I TRIED REALLY HARD to like it.

[TheLeen]

Sorry. Nemesis *was* that bad.

[TheLeen]

> I can?t say that it?s worth it

Yet!

My guess is that it’ll be built up over time. There’s one year left till the release. I think this kind of cryptic teaser website is a *brilliant* marketing tool.

[TheLeen]

Me: big trekkie. Huge trek person.

The last one was so bad that there is not even a word for how bad it was.

This one might be good!

It’s also Star Trek’s last chance ever.

If it’s good, it’ll probably spawn toys, animated series and so on!
If it sucks, it’s all over!

God, do I hope that Abrams doesn’t screw up.

But anyway, what we’ve got to read and see so far… gets one’s hope up :)

[TheLeen]

Cake?

[TheLeen]

If I was in the area at all, I’d go see it.

[TheLeen]

Same in Germany. Everything starts AT start time with some 20+ minutes of commercials (professional ones, then a part with really cheap local ones (like the restaurant one posted above), more professional ones) then some 3 different movie trailers adding up to 5 – 10 (if you’re lucky) minutes.

The only good thing about this is that by the time the actual film starts, people are largely done with opening bags of crisps, throwing popcorn, muting their phones and other things that create unwanted noise and/or light.

I still like to go early, sit in my chair, reading a movie mag until they dim the lights…

[TheLeen]

Well, I didn’t bake it yet. Who knows what will happen. I am traditionally not good with cakes. At all.

[TheLeen]

> Someone bake a cake

ok

[TheLeen]

Well, in the last two episodes there was a good portion of humour – which (I suppose) I would have enjoyed even more if I got to see Who in English. I’ll focus on that ;p

[TheLeen]

Well, it happened in Germany yesterday and I’m pretty certain that our tv channel, Pro7, doesn’t a) know or b) care about that ^

My guess is it’ll happen each and every time.

[TheLeen]

Okay, so today we watched episode 1×03 and 1×04 of Doctor Who and here’s a quick rundown of our impressions.

Episode 1×03 – The Unquiet Dead

The Doctor takes Rose to Victorian England where they encounter some alien zombies, and Charles Dickens.

What we liked:

– the character of Charles Dickens – he looked so real. Yes, he was cool, definitely.
– the costumes.
– a classic “horror” story in Victorian England, complete with classic elements such as the haunted house and a s?ance, nice.
– that the gas beasts were in fact, uhm, evil.
– the fact that Gwyneth (the medium) sacrificed herself.
– and the fact that Gwyneth had actually been dead for a while when she did.

Also, I did like the stage manager at the theatre, because he wore a vest that looked exactly like a pair of socks recently acquired by me in Malta.

Left: The stage manager’s vest. Right: My sock.

What we didn’t like:

– Well, the episode lacked explanations again. How did Mr Dickens know that opening all gas faucets would pull the ghosts out of the bodies? How did anyone know that a fire would kill them (or warp them back into their own dimension)? How did they get that idea in the first place – as the ghosts had existed inside the gas lamps previously?
– The episode could have been a lot scarier, and would have if not for the many, many, many cuts – or so they say over at drwho.de. They should really leave the episodes intact and air them after 8 PM, like you usually do.

And then there’s also an issue we disagree on: I think they’re going way over the top with the colour light effects – every five minutes, some face is tinted green (inside Tardis) or blue or purple or whatever… this struck me while watching last week’s episodes already. I think less would have been more, and that too much colourful light gives the show the air of a stage show (at best) and well, look kind of… cheap. Vin likes the colourful lights though.

Episode 1×04 – Aliens of London (part 1 of 2?)

What we liked:

– Two times in as many episodes, Doctor gets the time wrong.
– Cute, cuddly pig-“alien”, aww I wanted to hug it and tell it that it’s safe. Just… it wasn’t safe. It died. That made me sad.
– Non-standard, clumsy alien invaders with slight, let’s call it “flaws”.
– Oh yes, cliffhanger!

We didn’t like:

– Remind me, why don’t they just enter Tardis and hop back twelve months? Didn’t Doctor just say that time is sometuing dynamic, flowing, and that it can change just like that? The old timetravel plot killer issue.
– The security at 10, Downing Street was a joke. Makes for a bigger mess so I suppose that’s not all bad. But still.
– Oh noes, cliffhanger!

And: again – too much of the damn light. The zipper effect would have been cooler without it. Says I. Like I said, Vin likes it the way it is, with the blue light.

Overall impressions:

I preferred the first episode – I just loved the overall style (although the face of the zombies wouldn’t have had to glow if it were for me). Vin, and (judging by a poll at drwho.de) the majority of viewers today, liked the second one better.

The Doctor seems to be a bit of a scatterbrain, does he really have a clue of anything or is he just drifting in and out of history, messing around? With a good portion of serendipity like only heroes have (Captain Future did the same…)

Daleks: still no daleks!

[TheLeen]

Well, many people I met last DJ said afterwards in forums etc that

– they really go there to meet each other
– they have all the autographs and aren’t really thrilled by seeing the cast

So why not offer THEM a reduced, “just be there” fee while relative newbs, like me, who hasn’t met all of the cast members, or people who come from Japan or the USA or Australia and are really willing to spend a lot of money on their holiday experience, pay AND enjoy the full package?

As far as I can tell, it’s a bit them-and-us already anyway because not everyone can afford to go to DJ in the first place.

[TheLeen]

Oh God.

Thanks for the update.

[TheLeen]

If it’s a cocktail party (or dinner) with the cast, I’m in there.

A free t-shirt is a good idea for those people who’d be getting a con shirt anyway will be tempted to buy the golden ticket.

Priority queuing for autographs and photos would usually be great, but not needed if it’s handled the way it was at last DJ, that worked really well (for me at least).

[TheLeen]

Phil, I’m looking forward to watching all of them, just can’t do it at work (no sound ;)) and at home I’m always busy. Erhm, at work I’m also busy but I take more breaks. Right. Maybe this weekend.

[TheLeen]

> but would you want something like this?

Yes, absolutely.

> Obviously not at there price,

Correct.

[TheLeen]

> but I?d imagine that even non-fans of the show must be hugely jealous of the material we?ve been getting, and the high-quality of the releases, and wish that their own favorite shows would get the same treatment.

I confirm this.

[TheLeen]

Regarding the first two episodes of Doctor Who last Saturday on German channelPro7 – there’s a statement of the director responsible for the German dubbing (that was praised by some fans and slated by others). He’d read the fan reactions at drwho.de and thought he’d reply to some of them directly. Sometimes, the Internet scares me. A little.

http://blog.doctorwho-deutschland.de/2008/01/27/statement-des-synchronisateurs/

It’s quite an interesting read… if you can read German. Or Babelfish or something.

And this is the German trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Hx5tDRKwmM

Edit: And by the way, the Doctor Who pilot was seen by 10 million people in the UK (or at least that’s what I read), but only 0.84 million in Germany (a meager 4.7% (ep 1) and 3.5% (ep 2) of viewers) which is very disappointing.

[TheLeen]

*puts fingers in her ears* LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

Okay, there’s still enough puzzlement left here, please don’t argue.

[TheLeen]

Right :p

> Yes, but one with a very strong moral sense – he almost never uses violence to solve problems, preferring to be all clever and try to sort things out. He?s a scientist – not a fighter.

Did his strong moral sense leave him when he left Cassandra to dry out? Wasn’t happy about that :\

Speaking of moral sense, I don’t want to download, although I could since I’ll end up buying the DVDs anyway in the end, hm, what to do, what to do.

PS: Oh, I want an infinite wardrobe.

[TheLeen]

Oh, and, thanks to the German dr who forum I now know that Clive was shot by a dummy, Pro7 had cut that scene out so I had no idea. Kinda sad, I’d hoped he’d return in later episodes, the conspiracy theory stuff was kind of cute.

And more info on the German translation, I forgot to mention that The Doctor used the formal/polite way of addressing Rose (as a young woman), the “Sie”. I know you people don’t have that. It’s always a bit difficult in dubbed movies/TV shows because in Germany, between adults we use “Sie” unless we have offered each other the more personal “Du” (or unless we’re workmates or in a club together or whatever). The “Sie” on TV always seems to create a certain distance between characters, and the “offering of Du” obviously never takes place. I’m really curious if, when and how Rose & Doctor will start to use “Du”.

[TheLeen]

Thanks for not spoiling :)
And you’re welcome, heh, never thought I could make someone happy by being confused.

[TheLeen]

> I don?t want to say too much in response to that, spoilers wise, but? just make sure you stick with it, and I think you?ll be very happy by the end of the series.

I will of course stick with it. I just don’t know if I would without knowing of its iconic status in the UK and especially with people whose taste in telly I largely trust.

Also, I think my postings shouldn’t shift to the end of the discussion thread when I edit a typo. ;)

[TheLeen]

Okay. Here’s my impressions, then.

Throughout the day on the German TV channel Pro7: the trailer. It’s full of special effects and action. It also looks like Doctor Who is going to be a bit of a humourous show.

1700: the opening credits. They’re very short and the music is kind of calm, well in comparison to the very action based teaser trailer anyway. Is that a phone booth, cause it says “police” on it or something? Looks like Star Gate or Sliders so I suppose we’ll get to see different plots in different settings.

1715: first impressions. So far so good. We met Rose (who I find a bit annoying) and also The Doctor (who I also find a bit annoying). They’re dubbed, of course. I imagine the dialogue to be quite a lot better in English. Especially Eccleston. Boyfriend says that there is a whole lot of nonsense going on there (that’s not necessarily a bad thing). I particularly like the display dummies. Cool. I always thought they were creepy, now I know why. We’re both hoping for more craziness later on. Also, it’s nice to see a healthy looking actress of normal weight play Rose. That’s “normal” as in not disgustingly skinny. There is a lot of noise/shouting going on in the first fifteen minutes of the episode. Would like it if they’d pause for a bit a explain what the hell is going on. And: Rose is weird, like, just going home after the house exploded, not freaking out at all.

We think: it’s okay and nice to watch.

1730: Rose’s boyfriend is eaten by a bin and undergoes plastic zombification. I don’t know whether I find this incredibly clever or incredibly silly. Bit of both, probably. Also, Doctor just said that “many planets have a north” (or somesuch) and that made us laugh. Some other things did, too, but this is my favourite line so far. Rose is still weird, thinking her boyfriend is dead and not, well, crying her eyes out or being very very shocked or anything.

1745: Doctor does not succeed in talking lavaplasticblob into letting go of earth and Blob activates the zombie dummies. That’s a bit of a weak start, isn’t he supposed some kind of superhero? Anyway, Rose has to rescue him with an axe and a chain, which is a bit crude as a plot solution. Unanswered questions: when the eye stops transmitting, why do the dummies look like they’re cramping? The arm in the beginning just stopped moving when the signal was blocked. And why didn’t other things attack, like the cables mentioned, toasters and such, or the cellphones they’re all carrying around? And also, he looked into the mirror there like he saw his own face for the first time. Maybe he changes his appearance some time, that would explain all the different actor Doctors. But then why is he on all those old photographs, looking like Eccleston?

1755: The ending of the episode is very short, like the opening credits really. We don’t understand why The Doctor offers Rose to come with him, or why Rose (upon hearing the word timetravel) suddenly changes her mind and takes the offer. Would have been good if we’d gotten to know her motivation, anything from “I wanted to travel through time all my life” to “Mikey, see you in five minutes ’cause Doctor is going to take me back to exactly here and now”. Or maybe just “that’s going to be interesting”.

Newsmag, then second episode.

1810: Tardis on the inside with its air-pumps and such reminds me a bit of Raumpatrouille Orion, that German 1960s SF programme which used flatirons and other household equipment as parts of the spaceships. Does the Doctor eat and sleep there on the “bridge” or does Tardis have more rooms? And again, the opening credits. Now I know that the blue box really is (or is made to look like) a phone booth. The colours of the swirly things, do they mean anything? Like blue = into the past and red = into the future? Or red = travel through space and blue = travel through time?

1830: I like: crazy aliens, especially the flat lady and the big face. And the tree girl is really sweet. I love: Doctor’s mind manipulating paper. The coolest gadget so far, certainly better than the “I can do anything including toasting bread” blue… thingy.

1900: I realise that I forgot to take notes through the entire second episode. The cgi was really good in parts (exploding sun/earth/interior of the space station) and mediocre in others (ships in space reminded me of Babylon Five and I remember that 10 years ago I wasn’t thrilled). I won’t even write down what I think of the walkway & propeller room, that topic was nicely covered in Galaxy Quest ;) Also, The Doctor is quite the MacGyver when it comes to gadgets, but he can’t use his jacket or whatever to hold the lever down so that the tree princess won’t die.

What do I know about The Doctor? He’s a timelord (probably to do with timetravel, eh, and he can feel a planet rotate. That’s cool. Also, princess tree was really fond of him and found his existence comforting, so maybe he’s a bit of a god as well). And his planet exploded, so he’s the last one. And he’s quite smart, most of the time, but sometimes not (or I just can’t figure out his motivations).

Daleks: No Daleks. Did probably blow up Doctor’s planet though.

Overall, I am reminded a kids’ programmes. Again, this isn’t necessarily bad. We do enjoy Doctor Who, however, not as much as we probably would have at age eight. I also think that we think too much.

I have to say that timetravel is a real plot killer, because everytime things get rough you think “okay, now go back in time 10 minutes and everything will be fine”. The fact that The Doctor doesn’t should be explained in some way.

Vincent says that overall, it deserves a “B” for the good special effects and the fact that the show doesn’t seem to take itself seriously. But oh, the plotholes (see: timetravel).

I give it a “C” now with an upwards tendency. It was by no means bad, but expectations had been higher. I suspect that after a couple of episodes I’ll be totally into it, but I thought this would come sooner. The biggest problem for me is that I can’t really relate to any of the two main characters right now, not Rose (who wasn’t helpful in the slightest in the second episode) nor the Doctor, who, albeit funny, is cryptic up to a point where it gets really annoying.

Definitely not for nitpickers! But I’ll watch on, two episodes each Saturday, and report. And also, I’ll get my hands on the original version some time which I think will get more love from me, if purely for the British accent.

Edit: Oh yeah and, the preview for the next episode looked pretty neat, something with a ghost lady and 18th century UK, cool.

[TheLeen]

Oooookay – in order to AVOID that All Capital Letters Butt-fucking Surprise on the internet until the end of series one, are there any sugegstions for precautions? ‘Cause ever since I started explicitly NOT looking at anything Doctor Who related, it seems to be EVERYWHERE.

And, a-ha, the Daleks are a threat then? Boo. ;)

[TheLeen]

Okay, so any more things you want my impressions on?

– The Doctor and specifically Eccleston
– The Daleks (whatever they are)
– Do I feel I would have needed any background information that I don’t have
– other… people and things

… ?

Tomorrow :)

[TheLeen]

I don’t understand half of what you’re talking about, you crazy Brits with your excellent TV, but I just noticed yesterday that the Eccleston dude is in Heroes. Hahaha. I’m obviously a noob but that leaves all the more for me to discover.

[TheLeen]

Heroes wins anyway.

[TheLeen]

I “oh yes you are. tottied” someone into making out with me.

[TheLeen]

That certainly worked for me. Ehehehe.

[TheLeen]

I do that too, and they don’t even know the show. Poor people

[TheLeen]

Shout “You never learn, do ya!” at people and then be surprised that they’re offended. Cause they don’t recognise the quote. At all. Ahem.

[TheLeen]

Yeah, another show I have to watch some time… sigh

[TheLeen]

I really just remember the ladder game. And the colour blue. Everything was tinted blue.

[TheLeen]

I vote for Krypton Factor.

I remember it being on for one season only in Germany; I was a kid but I loved it and in the end of the last show the host said “see you in September then, after our summer break” – and it never came back!

Since there was no internet back then (at least not for me), I couldn’t read up on it anywhere… and it’s probably really weird that I remember it at all. I must have been, what, 10 or so.

Wow. So that, too, was stolen from British telly.

*shakes head and walks out of the room*

[TheLeen]

Yeah I’d found that site in youe links and it’s indeed interesting.
Funny enough, I’m *totally* into… colours. As such.

[TheLeen]

The (German) IT Crowd Nightmare – Episode Two Review

I have now seen the second episode in full (and, sadly, several times) and can comment a bit on it and compare it to the original like I did with the first episode, “Br?tchen vom Vortag”.

Sandy ~ Jen
Tom ~ Roy
Gabriel ~ Moss
Bornholm ~ Denholm

The second one is named “Stressige Zeiten” (translation: “Stressful Times”) as opposed to “Calamity Jen”, a reference to Calamity Jane that would probably be lost on German viewers. I know I didn’t get that joke until recently, myself. So while the first German episode title was a nightmare, this one is actually okay.

The episode opens with Sandy walking down a street and seeing red pumps in a shopfront just like Jen. But right here’s where the similarities end. While Jen seems slightly crazy (kind of like My Little Pony infected with mad cow desease) in her innocent, child-like craving for the shoes, for Sandy the shoes are clearly sexual – she moans and drools all over the window glass. Both interpretations are acceptable, but I do prefer Jen’s “christmas eyes” to Sandy’s “sex slave to the shoes” approach. In the original version, the shoes are shown in tunnel vision, in order to show that the shoes are all Jen can see now, all that matters. In the German version, the tunnel vision is missing. The sparkles as well as a metallic “sparkle” sound effect are still there. I will get back to the subject later!

Next, the commercial for the new emergency number. Here the makers of Das iTeam cocked up several times.
Cock-up One: An old lady falls down several flights of stairs in what quite clearly is a traditional German appartment building’s staircase. But comes to a halt next to her phone, inside her flat, you can even see the kitchen (or bathroom?) in the background behind her. Ed Wood comes to mind – as he used to say “don’t worry, once it’s on the big screen, people won’t notice!”… of course he was wrong.
The phone is a dial plate one. Not sure if this is relevant or what they were aiming at with this (do you even get them anymore?) just thought I’d mention it.
The phone number is 0188 999 881 999 119 981 3 – the digits at the end were changed (by someone, I reckon, who doesn’t understand the humour of the original line – but only a small change so let’s move on).
The tune itself is quiet close to the original melody, if not even a little catchier (yay!). But there’s another only slight change for the only slightly-worse there: In the original version, the number is displayed in groups of three digits which (towards the middle) does not meet the rhythm of the jingle. Displayed is 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3, but they sing “0118-999. 881-99, 9119-725-3”. I always thought this discrepancy was part of the joke. In the German version, the number is spread over two lines, the linebreak being in the middle of the “split” three-digit-group, in sync with the jingle’s rhythm. The feeling remains that whoever is responsible for this change does not grasp the humour of the original version. Or I’m just a niggler and a grouch with too much time on my hands.
Cock-up Two: Speaking of “in sync”, when the number is repeated, sound and image are not. The numbers sung are three digits ahead of the numbers displayed on Gabriel’s tv screen. That’s just bad.
Between the first and second number jingle, the line “that is:” was changed to “and again, because it is so easy!” which, at least to me, doesn’t seem to make much sense.
Gabriel gets to sing the line, and just as in the first episode, the actor over-emphasises and over-acts – I really want to blame the director for this. For example, at the end, the pause before the “…3” is just too long. Comedic timing is ruined. Subtlety is an art form that the makers of Das iTeam are not proficient in, this shows in many other details as well.

Enters: Tom. Tom is not wearing a t-shirt identical to Roy’s in this episode, but a pink one which says “liquid pistol” on it. I wondered what they were going to do with Roy’s mixup of the numbers “999” and “911” in the German version – the German emergence number is “112” and no one really gets it mixed up with “911” over here. But this was solved by using “112” and “110” – the German police number. These two do get mixed up in reality, I myself dialed the wrong emergence number once! I was quite happy to see that they got a joke translated into German at last!
But my euphoria didn’t last long because it was followed by a silly new bit of conversation which I will henceforth refer to as “yeah no yeah no”. Transcribed from memory:
Tom: “110”
Gabriel: “it’s 112, 110 is the police!”
Tom: “That’s what I said.”
Gabriel: “You said 110!”
Tom: “No I didn’t!”
Gabriel: ” yes you did!”
Tom: “No I didn’t!”
Gabriel: “Yes you did!”
Tom: “No I didn’t!”
Gabriel: “No you didn’t!”
Tom: “Yes I did! … Damn!”
Sorry, but this is silly… in an unfunny way. (Besides, I remember this game from kindergarden, and the reverse-thing never really worked on anyone!)

Enters: Sandy. I was particularly looking forward to this scene – Jen’s shoe mumbling monologue is one of my favourite pieces of text and I have quoted it on numerous occasions myself – as the significant other will confirm (the poor man). Alas, Jen’s monologue has had a lot changed – for worse. Again: while Jen is making a slightly mad, definitely out of order but lovable impression – Sandy’s monologue is purely sex-driven. In this case, I don’t like it one bit! All my favourite lines cut or changed. At one point, Sandy leans on Tom’s shoulder, who tries to comfort her but ends up looking slightly embarrassed because having a woman so near makes him awkwardly insecure. This on the other hand is a change I can live with (although I do still definitely prefer “come on, you crazy bitch”).

Now for the first bit of unbearably awkward language. (Remember, in the first episode there were bits of text already that made one think of babelfish translations.) As they all exit to go upstairs for the boss’s meeting, Moss’s line has been translated literally: “I bet he declares war on something. He loves declaring war!” – “Ich wette, er erkl?rt irgendjemandem den Krieg. Er liebt es, den Krieg zu erkl?ren!” This sounds so weird. I would think that in German, it is grammar-wise not allowed, or at the very least not common, to “declare war” without an object – without saying who on. The next scene starts just like that: “I am declaring war!” – “Ich erkl?ren den Krieg!”. Another bit of seemingly mindless translation. There would have been so many phrases that could have been used, meant the same, and sounded more natural: “Ich rufe den Krieg aus!” – “Ich rufe den Ausnahmezustand aus!” – or even short and catchy: “Es herrscht Krieg!” – “Wir sind im Krieg!”

But let’s forget the shoddy dialogue script for a second and see what else they did to ruin the comedy. Right – original version: close-up on Denholm’s face, he declares war, camera zooms out, the ridiculous biking outfit is revealed. Funny. German version: close-up on Bornholm’s face, he declares war, camera zooms out, the ridiculous biking outfit is revealed… or not? Bornholm is wearing a bike helmet – apparently they wanted to make him look even more ridiculous (this worked) but at the same time, ruined the zooming-out-revealing-outfit gag. Again: someone must not have understood why the original is funny in the first place.

Sky Dumont, the actor of boss Bornholm, got a lot of flak from me in my first review for making the impression that he doesn’t really have a clue of what he’s doing. Now let’s see if his performance has changed for the better or worse. I was hoping that whatever direction he would take his character in (that was originally written for Chris Morris, to be played by chris Morris, to be funny when Chris Morris does) – it would be a clear one. A clearer idea of the character Bornholm, as opposed to Denholm. First thing you notice is that Sky Dumont apparently has changed his mind – his performance is a lot closer to Chris Morris’s one, a bit more aggressive and powerful. More on this subject later.

The “say, I hate stress – ” joke falls flat for two reasons – one, he’s not reaching for water immediately before, like in the original version (another fun moment cut). Two, the (again) literal translation of this line does not work in German. If we say “say, …” – “Sagen Sie, ich hasse Stress -“, we mean the kind of “say” that Roy & Tom understant it to be. There is no room for ambiguity. We say “Angenommen, ich hasse Stress…” – “Let’s assume I hate stress…” or at the most “Sagen wir mal…” – “Let’s say…”. And if the joke was toned down anyway (what with the water drinking missing in the beginning) I think this is one joke I would have cut entirely – better than breaking it in this horrible way. Or I would have sat down and tried to come up with a clever replacement. (Just because I can’t think of one doesn’t mean there is none – maybe there would have been a way to pull the same joke in German.) Anyway, this would have needed to be changed.

So, does anybody have an idea how to fight stress? “Have a bath?” you might say now, as Moss did. Gabriel suggests to “go for a lunchbreak walk” though. Okay, let me get this straight. This absolutely uncritical line was changed, for no apparent reason, at least I can’t think of one. And the bit before that doesn’t work in German – wasn’t. Next thing, the writers again slavishly follow the original: Denholm cycles to work every day, 70 miles! Bornhom cycles to work every day, 112 kilometers! Someone else work out the pattern behind these decisions, please. (Actually, I think 70 miles are closer to 113 kilometers really.)

Bornholm claims that his calves (not thighs) are hard as steel (not red as a fire engine). This is the sort of change I really wouldn’t care about – if not for Sky Dumont patting his calf in close-up which behaves more like pudding. Of course, Sky Dumont is not nearly as wiry of built as Chris Morris. Also, his biking outfit actually emphasises his belly in bright orange. I would have thought that this was part of the joke – a conceptual idea of Bornholm pretending to be sporty and really not being. But it’s probably another case of “no conceptual idea at all”.

Worse yet, Bornholm asks if anyone would like to feel his hard-as-steel calves. Now he’s back to his former senile/doped grandpa self (see episode one). And worse yet, Gabriel is actually tempted to go and feel his boss’s leg. An additional joke that shouldn’t have happened.

Sandy’s asked what she’d do against stress, the answer being “shoes”. In this scene in particular you can see that Britta Horn lack’s subtlety – but that goes for the entire production, so again, I really want to blame the director, not the actress.

Bornholm announces that anyone who still experiences stress at the end of the day – WILL BE FIRED! at the top of his voice. Now he’s back to impersonating Denholm. He really can’t make up his mind. When I watched the first episode, it was just a feeling – now I know for certain: Sky Dumont does not have any concept for his role at all.

The shoe store scene has been shortened and significantly toned down, don’t know why.

Europe’s leading stress expert lacks the tranquility and calm tone of voice of the original one – he’s more of a slightly wacky, nutty professor type. His name is Friedemann Jansen. “Frieden” meaning “peace”. A bit blunt but whatever.

When Tom’s sitting in place and the stress lecture continues, Tom sees the buffet – which sparkles just like Sandy’s shoes did, including the sound effect! Tm’s excited face is actually a bit closer to Jen’s original christmas look! Now there’s a change I actually like. Reminder: iN the original version, the buffet is just shown very quickly, and next thing you see is Roy eating a chicken. Filmed in an understating, kind of dry way – no need to further comment. It is very British, so to speak. And it’s lovely! But they said they needed to change things to make the humour work for Germans and here is the one example where they’ve actually achieved exactly that. I like how Tom and Sandy have a parallel experience there – something I think Graham Linehan had in mind for Jen’s and Roy’s love lives as well. Good job, this would have been the way to go.

But again my euphoria (this time it actually is euphoria) is killed by one of the next lines. When Tom wants a go at the stress machine and Gabriel wants to see him punished for nearly killing their colleague, another “yeah no yeah no” happens. I’d been afraid they were going to try to turn this into a running gag.

Commercial break.

Next, the “shoe presentation” in the IT office. Just as the bit with her walking down the road in her new shoes, this is decently done; except for the end: after “The shoes, you dorks!” there is no further conversation between TOm and Gabriel. The two of them are equally puzzled. And this means that another favourite of mine (“… but I only know one woman ,and she just left the room shouting THE SHOEEEESAHHHH…”) was cut. (PS: the little scene with Jen in the elevator wasn’t there either, but no biggie that.)

The soldering iron scene. Ah, there is a lot to be said about it from a script point of view. Gabriel always gets mixed up between “Feuer” (fire) and “Feier” (celebration). Which kind of works because the word do sound quite alike so it is (well, somwhat) realistic. The mix-up between golf and fire is quite absurd, and therefore also funny. Oh, don’t ask me. I don’t see why they needed to change this bit at all, but at least it’s not the worst case. The dialogue has been changed some (insignificant changes) and at the climax, has been simplified. Also, pay attention to the last two lines.

Original dialogue:

Roy: “Just make sure it’s off.”
Moss: “It is off. I think.”
Roy: “Well, just make sure it is.”
Moss: “I will make sure it is.”
Roy: “And if it’s already off…”
Moss: “… … … I’ll just walk away!”

German dialogue:

Tom: “Turn it off.”
Gab:” It is off.”
Tom: “You sure?”
Gab: “Fairly sure.”
Tom: “And if it’s still on?”
Gab:” Then I’ll turn it off… and just walk away!”

Next, Gabriel walks over to the soldering iron, mumbling, “if it’s on… I turn it off… and just walk away”. Of course he turns it on instead of off. This shows that the scene also works with the simplified text, without the little “And if it’s already off” detour. I actually like the simple version. However, there is absolutely no reason why Gabriel would say “… and just walk away”. Twice. Because the “And if it’s alerady off” detour wasn’t taken. It’s really coming out of nowhere.

Next thing, the office is on fire; Gabriel tries to call the emergency number but reaches Tony’s Pizza Place (instead of a foreign country) which actually makes more sense than the original – since Moss did definitely get the area code right… some more (small) changes… The “Made in Britain” joke ist missing… then Gabriel writing the email, but without Moss’s “No, too formal!” – Gabriel just writes the “Fire! Help me!” version.

Scene with Jen at the doctor’s. The doctor’s actress has less timing than any of the others. I know it’s a small role but… argh! Again, you see Sandy’s left mangled foot, but where’s the right one? They saved some special effects money there… and now for the really bad part (I know I’m being a drama queen here): “but if I can’t wear them, what am I supposed to wear?” became “Am I suppose to walk in socks?” – erhm… what socks are they talking about?

Tom meets stressman by the snack machine (not elevator), and they get involved in a fight – which is not a fist fight really but looks a lot like bunny rabbits slapping each other. The guy playing the stress expert doesn’t know that his is a supporting role and that it is not his job to act funny. That the protagonists are funny because the supporting roles act perfectly normal. Again, I want to blame the director.

Sandy comes back (on bare feet, of course) and a woman passes out after seeing her foot. Wait a minute! I think (I can’t be 100% certain) that this is the shoe girl from episode one, same actress (can’t be the woman from the elevator since the elevator scene never happened). A bit of additional continuity there, nice one.

Another highlight of The IT Crowd is up next – the scene with the Japanese business delegation. As all other scenes, it is a bit lifeless and lacks the original’s energy. Even the Japanese businessman. But there’s more. In the original version, Denholm’s (inadequate) gift is “a pair of Doc Martens with extremely thick and heavy soles” (is Denholm breaking the fourth wall there, the sneaky bastard?). In the German version, Bornholm (who, by the way, is wearing a kimono) offers a pair of “original Bavarian hiking boots”. Fair enough! (Sadly no mention of the extremely thick and heavy soles though.) Of course we Germans know Doc Martens well enough, so there was really no need for a change. But maybe Bavarian hiking boots were thought “more German”. Ironically, Doc Martens were originally a German product…

What else comes to mind about this scene? Oh yes. “Clap him, man!” becomes a whispered “Godzilla? Didn’t he stomp entire Tokyo?” and basically, all the aggressive energy of that scene is… absent.

Instead of cultural advisor Paul, we have here personal assistant Seifert-san.

They never talk about a merger, only “future business relations” and “a million (euros) deal”. So Jen’s/Sandy’s hazardous cock-up there was made less… hazardous.

Sandy’s swearwords are profanity-buzzed, but the profanity-buzzer (another sneaky attack on the fourth wall in the original) is never shown nor mentioned. Sorry Seifert-san, you’re not back on the payroll.

The Japanese businessman actually apologises when Sandy has a go at him (hehe, you can see her calling him a cocksucker), keeps bowing and saying sorry. Not happy with that. Also, his assistant has actually translated the swearing to him, but there’s no focus on this fact (like it isn’t funny at all?), I actually only spotted the translating when I rewound to the scene to specifically look for it. In the end, the Japanese man just grabs the katana – Bornholm doesn’t devoutly offer it back like Denholm did. You do not see the Japanese delegation exit with sword AND shoes (a hightlight missed) and the sword in a plastic bag (another highlight missed).

The definite anti-climax is Bornholm telling Sandy that she’s walking on socks, which is a sign of stress – again: what socks?

Back in the IT office, Gabriel is car racing on his wii (Moss was playing a first persion shooter). Some dialogue was changed / lines shifted around a bit in the following scene but I don’t want to go into too much detail – I just realised that this review is even longer than the last one… Anyway: the third installment of the annoying “yeah no yeah no” occurs, and by now I really hate it. A little later, Gabriel is looking for more water spray to calm down his hot ear – another positive change since it adds to the continuity between episodes. In the original, Moss was looking for his asthma spray.

Another occurance of awkward language as Tom is helping Sandy into her shoes – she tells him to “pressen” (press) but well, I don’t know anyone who would use the word “pressen” there; unless Tom was giving birth to something, the correct term would have been “dr?cken”. Just another example of rough translating that results in unnatural, forced language. Similarly Gabriel: “they’ll rape the flip out of me” becomes “I will have to bend over and pick up a bar of soap”. Erhm. If you can’t come up with a catchy line, and on a touchy subject too, just leave it out…

The scene with Bornholm trying to measure Sandy’s stress level is shorter than the original one and (again) Sky Dumont isn’t very convincing. Sandy is pretty close to Jen in this one.

Upon leaving, Bornholm looks at the fire again and says, “Wait a minute! …” pause… “I’ve got to go!” Now where’s the joke gone? “I’m late for golf” would have worked even better in the German version than in the original for the golf is now a “Feier”, a celebration. Something you can perfectly be late for. It could have been at least decent.

Gabriel wonders why the stress machine didn’t work. The question remains unanswered. The “Made in Britain” joke was neither translated nor adapted nor replaced by something entirely different. I’ve read a lot of critique in German blogs about the fact that it isn’t explained why Sandy’s stress level didn’t set off the stress machine alarm – but for once, I am not going to complain along with them. During the stress test, you can clearly see that Sandy is not wearing the blood pressure sleeve. If she isn’t connected to the stress machine, it can’t give her away. This shows nicely that both Bornholm and Sandy are blissfully uninformed where technology in concerned. I just wish they’d put an emphasis on this during cutting the episode – then I could believe that it was intended to be this way, rather than a fortunate accident of an absolutely clueless team…

Overall, slightly better than the first episode but still far from acceptable; and I’m sad that I won’t get to see and compare the other four episodes already produced.

For your viewing pleasure, here is also a 10 minute video comparison of the second episode for you.

[TheLeen]

I used to watch F1 quite intensely some 10 to 5 years ago. I’m not really following it now.

[TheLeen]

It’s okay to start with the new ones then yeah? Or do you recommend sitting through some 20+ series of old stuff first? Because… the first option sounds more appealing. I can work my way backwards with time.

[TheLeen]

I know *nothing* of Dr Who. And I’ve been an SF fan, roleplayer, and all that almost all my life. Always communicated with other geeky people as well. First in Germany, and then via internet everywhere. And STILL – nothing.

I vaguely remember having heard the title a few times in my life (not in Germany, mind you) but it only really came to my attention when I got involved with the Dwarf people here – after last September. Now I know some basic terms… time travel… tardis… that dude with the F1-like last name and the new one, David Tennant… erhm… uh… that’s it really. I can’t name any old doctors nor villains.

No idea what Daleks are, an alien race surely. As soon as I find out, I’ll let you know what my virgin mind makes of it, heh. One week time to think of more questions before I dive into the Who universe :)

[TheLeen]

How do I put it to you?

THE BANKER IS A LIE.

There. I said it. There is no such thing as a “banker”, you dorks.

[TheLeen]

After all those years I caved in and created an ebay account exclusively to get this. It is quite cheaper than buying it off amazon. I haven’t managed though because I suck. :(

[TheLeen]

The best way to chat up a girl is by NOT using a chat-up line, no matter how clever you think it is. Just engage in natural conversation and be yourself, so she can figure out whether she likes you or not, jeez.

[TheLeen]

I know :( (I’ll do a shorter one on the second episode later.)

The thing I can’t believe is that they don’t even show the remaining episodes on the “repeat slot” early sunday mornings or late at night or whatever. They don’t want to waste precious Friday night slots, fine. But they usually do show “the leftovers” in an unpopular place to not waste anything. Not this time, as far as I can see…

[TheLeen]

Nope :(

[Author]

Replies