Dave

[Dave]

The bays for the rocks were one of the few elements of the pencil-ship that I found quite interesting, as they made sense for a mining ship. The old version just looks like it’s had an asteroid crash into it at some point. Which is admittedly part of the appeal, but still the bays were an interesting idea.

[Dave]

Why would there be two Kochanskis? The nanobots are intelligent, they know there’s already a living Kochanski so they don’t need to create a new one.

[Dave]

THANKS FOR THE MAMMARY

[Dave]

COCK TO REALITY

[Dave]

RACK IN THE BED

[Dave]

COMFY VALANCE AND PARANOIA

Lister worries that Rimmer will steal his bed.

[Dave]

THE BEGG INNING

GELFs challenge Lister to a game of cricket.

[Dave]

I think the two realities that collapse in on each other as a result of the Out Of Time cliffhanger, as well as expanding Starbug, create a new version of the timedrive (one that can transport you through space as well as time) which has the ability to sustain a pocket-universe that allows you to maintain an alternate timeline in which Kennedy lives just so that he can return to the core timeline and kill himself. Him fading away at the end is actually just him returning to the pocket universe. Which the future-Dwarfers weren’t able to do because they never had the snazzy new version of the timedrive that can do that.

(No, I don’t really think that.)

[Dave]

MELTBROWN

Lister keeps a Twix in his pocket all day.

[Dave]

I always thought the old analogy of the crew’s life on Red Dwarf being like living on a deserted ocean liner – while the Starbug of series VI is more like being tossed around in a dinghy – was quite an apt one.

In comparison, the Starbug of series VII feels at the very least like a modest luxury yacht.

[Dave]

TWIX ARE THE BEST

Special ‘remastered’ version of Bodyswap in which the Toffee Crisp is replaced through the magic of CGI with a low-res approximation of a Twix bar.

[Dave]

SIX OF THE REST

Special double-VHS compilation of six handpicked Red Dwarf episodes: Timewave, Krytie TV, Only The Good, Back in the Red Part Three and Pete (both parts). Features an accompanying CD recording of a viewer’s anguished reaction to marathoning all six episodes, as well as a special hologram of Archie.

[Dave]

It’s not the size of it that bothers me so much as what it’s actually meant to be. What part of Starbug is it?

[Dave]

I was actually going to say Series 6 (which is clearly the case), but then it ruined the Red Dwarf comparison.

[Dave]

TALENTS OF BAUER

Everyone in the crew of Red Dwarf suddenly gets hooked on the TV series ’24’, in particular finding themselves entranced by the capabilities of the lead character.

They are also intrigued to learn that, like many of the best TV series, it really starts to run out of steam around Series 7 when it tries to liven things up by making loads of arbitrary changes to the concept and characters.

[Dave]

It’s a shame, because Out Of Time is the one blot on the otherwise 100% consistent treatment of time-travel on Red Dwarf.

[Dave]

ADJUST SPICE

Not too little, not too much…

[Dave]

JUST ICE

Lister goes into a wine bar and is asked whether he wants ice and lemon in his Gin & Tonic.

[Dave]

and any rescanned model footage

This is probably the thing I am most hopeful for.

[Dave]

“don’t directly contradict the very last episode to air before this one” seems like a low bar to clear.

True, but an episode can only really attempt that once it manages to clear the even lower bar of not directly contradicting the beginning of its own story.

[Dave]

With the Blu-Ray listing update, the announcement of a 1-8 BR boxset seems like a possibility.

[Dave]

It’s certainly looking more like a realistic prospect now, especially after those comments from Doug about a new colour grading.

I’ll put an order in with Zoom for the time being – £36 is about right I think, depending on what extras/improvements it offers over the existing sets.

[Dave]

The Xtended ending is much better, I think.

[Dave]

That is a good breakdown. I find myself nodding in agreement with most of it, despite having submitted a quite different episode order.

[Dave]

KRY-SI-S

Si gets upset and starts to weep when everyone in the thread won’t leave him alone.

[Dave]

CRAP IN THE THREAD

Si gives his opinion on the ‘Idea For An Episode’ thread.

[Dave]

BAP IN THE BREAD

Lister hollows out a loaf of brown bread so that he can hide the last white bap on Red Dwarf inside, to stop anyone else from eating it. With hilarious consequences.

[Dave]

BACK IN THE ‘READ’

When a Ganymede & Titan forum poster decides to mark all the posts in the ‘Idea For An Episode’ thread as ‘read’ without actually reading them, he misses out on some hilarious nuggets of comedy gold. Albeit hidden among a vast majority of old shite.

[Dave]

Even in the worst episodes there’s stuff to enjoy.

The keyring with a C for Kryten always made me chuckle. And Kochanski’s tiny shrunken clothes. And they’re both from Duct Soup!

[Dave]

THANKS FOR DE EMMONY

The cast and crew of Red Dwarf write a nice letter to Andy de Emmony to thank him for stepping in and directing Series VI.

[Dave]

SALOONED

When Rimmer and Lister accidentally crash Starbug on a snow planet, they decide to kill time while waiting to be rescued by Cat and Kryten, by booting up the AR machine and spending time in the bar from ‘Streets of Laredo’.

“The world loves a bar steward!”, declares Rimmer as he orders a dry white wine and a Perrier, before regaling Bear-Strangler McGee with tales of Rimmer’s past life as Alexander the Great’s chief eunuch. Meanwhile, Lister must stave off starvation by choosing between the only food remaining in the saloon: a pot noodle or a bowl of raw coffee.

Luckily, the whole thing is resolved when the Sheriff bursts through the door and shouts: “THE BLOOO MIDGERT IS LOW-DERRRRDD”.

[Dave]

While we’re voicing our own personal conspiracy theories, mine is that Jenna Coleman wasn’t ever intended to be cast as the new companion, but got the job after she demonstrated such good chemistry with Smith in Asylum Of The Daleks. Which explains why Clara ended up having such a convoluted backstory, and also why Gaiman was under the impression that the companion in Nightmare In Silver was meant to be a Victorian nanny (as Clara was originally meant to just be the character from the Christmas special).

I haven’t ever seen anything to corroborate it other than that circumstantial evidence, but it would explain why she ended up having such a weird and complicated backstory to explain her being both the character from that Christmas special AND the girl from Asylum.

[Dave]

Series XIII episode 2:

Kryten invents a new way to travel between parallel universes and meet alternate versions of the crew, and everyone acts really surprised and interested and they weirdly don’t mention the Quantum Skipper or Ace Rimmer even though it’s all basically the same idea in a slightly different way.

[Dave]

Question 5: What was the real reason for Rob and Doug’s breakup?

[Dave]

Funny, I’ve always thought of V as the last series before VIII came along.

Although ironically VIII apparently really *was* the last series before X came along.

[Dave]

Question 1: What would Red Dwarf have been like if it had started in 1998 instead of 1988?

[Dave]

many also see it as being one of the last of the original series, before VIII, BTE and the Dave era came along

I definitely see it as one of the last, if not *the* last series before VIII, BTE and the Dave era came along.

[Dave]

“What series number is Back To Earth?”

[Dave]

I love that people are having a sincere argument about whether Mario Bros is a videogame or not.

I mean, clearly it’s not because you put it in a console that lies on a table, and you sit on chairs while you play it. So clearly Mario Bros is a piece of furniture.

[Dave]

In fairness, it’s not the first time I’ve seen someone be a bit confused about exactly what Big Finish do. It’s understandable – some of their stuff is directly adapted from novels, and they also do books.

If you’re not familiar with them it’s an easy (and fairly minor) mistake to make.

[Dave]

It’s interesting, I always thought of the Mario Bros movie as being one of the first of the videogame movies (maybe *the* first) that was made because someone thought they could make a good movie out of the property and gain an audience from the existing videogame fanbase, rather than being conceived as a glorified promotional tool for the videogame itself.

I may be wrong there, but I never had the impression it was something initially driven by Nintendo as a marketing thing.

[Dave]

RAM SCOOP

Rimmer starts a ship newspaper and is delighted when he discovers that a male sheep is alive somewhere in the cargo decks, making it his first front-page story.

[Dave]

AUSTERE DAVE

Lister does an impression of Rimmer’s mum.

[Dave]

Still, though, if it’s your podcast you get to choose what you talk about.

[Dave]

QUEEabut

Red Dwarf is taken over by a strict new computer called QUEEabut who makes the crew work and exercise to the point of exhaustion to earn their keep. Lister is disappointed to receive dinner of a PEabut on toast in return. But it turns out that all along it was a prank by HOLLabut.

[Dave]

It is a computer, though.

They could have marketed it as a tin of peas and it still would have been a computer.

[Dave]

BEAR DAVE

Lister gets turned into a bear by the DNA machine.

[Dave]

It’s the Two Ronnies sketch for me.

[Dave]

COELIAC IN THE BREAD

When an eager-to-impress Rimmer invites his boss over for dinner, he makes sure to prepare a gluten-free menu to account for his superior’s coeliac disease. But when a drunken Lister interferes with the cloches and substitutes every single dish for a loaf of bread, a red-faced Rimmer finds himself struggling to concoct at the last minute a three-course meal that won’t lead his line manager to experience violent bouts of nausea and vomiting. The resultant farce is resolved when Snacky pushes everyone down a lift shaft.

[Dave]

I fully understood it but I don’t know if I enjoyed it

[Author]

Replies