Dave

[Dave]

Maybe that is a significant piece of evidence to support the fact that the show doesn’t do them very well.

[Dave]

After all, no sign of the alphabetti spaghetti anywhere and I’m sure anything fun with that would end up being messy.

Clearly at that point the Polymorph had turned into the alphabetti spaghetti, then turned back into Rimmer’s mum after all the fun.

[Dave]

But was it a Trident?

[Dave]

ROSEWOOD, MAHOGANY, TIKKA?

Basil Fawlty offers his guest the choice between trays made of two different types of wood, or the 34th best episode of Red Dwarf.

[Dave]

I don’t think it’s the idea of a 25th anniversary celebration that’s in question, it’s the idea of celebrating the 25th anniversary of the sixth series of something.

It’s not like Doctor Who is doing regular 50th anniversary celebrations of all the series that aired after the first one, is it? You celebrate the anniversary of the start of something, not the middle of it.

[Dave]

I always rationalised it as the Polymorph giving Rimmer’s mum an extra rough-sounding voice and general dirtiness, to get him even more riled up. I’m not sure polymorphs always go for 100% authenticity, as I’ve never seen a slinky that can walk up stairs either.

[Dave]

It’s so weird to think of so many of these episodes being unseeable (or at least, very hard to track down) at certain points in their history. In that respect, I feel lucky getting on board when I did – just before the big repeat run that allowed me to record them all from broadcast onto a load of VHSs.

[Dave]

On the anniversary day, I rewatched The End and then couldn’t help but go straight on to Future Echoes too. You’re right, it’s a great episode and I think all of the double-cleverness still holds up today – that Drive Room scene remains immensely satisfying no matter how many times you’ve seen it. I ranked it sixth and I stand by that.

[Dave]

In the first scene, Kryten is turned into a human again.

[Dave]

Yes, but because they came out in the same year, it is the 30th anniversary year of both series this year.

[Dave]

It’s the anniversary of I and II because they both came out in the same year.

[Dave]

They’re remaking Series I-VIII in their entirety with the current cast to replace the BBC versions on Dave.

[Dave]

With the listings in recent weeks for the big 1-8 Blu-Ray set, I thought for sure we would get an official announcement on that.

[Dave]

Here’s mine.

1 – Thanks for the Memory
2 – Marooned
3 – Back to Reality
4 – The Inquisitor
5 – Dimension Jump
6 – Future Echoes
7 – Gunmen of the Apocalypse
8 – White Hole
9 – Legion
10 – Out of Time
11 – Give & Take
12 – Justice
13 – Me2
14 – Demons & Angels
15 – Queeg
16 – Quarantine
17 – Holoship
18 – Camille
19 – Balance of Power
20 – The End
21 – Confidence & Paranoia
22 – Polymorph
23 – Timeslides
24 – Bodyswap
25 – DNA
26 – Meltdown
27 – Stasis Leak
28 – M-Corp
29 – The Beginning
30 – Trojan
31 – Mechocracy
32 – Terrorform
33 – Officer Rimmer
34 – Psirens
35 – Emohawk: Polymorph II
36 – Cassandra
37 – Twentica
38 – Tikka to Ride
39 – Backwards
40 – Better Than Life
41 – Kryten
42 – Rimmerworld
43 – The Last Day
44 – Waiting for God
45 – Parallel Universe
46 – Cured
47 – Fathers & Suns
48 – Dear Dave
49 – Skipper
50 – Krysis
51 – Stoke me a Clipper
52 – Siliconia
53 – Can of Worms
54 – Back to Earth – Part 1
55 – Ouroboros
56 – Lemons
57 – Entangled
58 – Samsara
59 – Back to Earth – Part 2
60 – Back to Earth – Part 3
61 – Epideme
62 – Nanarchy
63 – Blue
64 – Beyond a Joke
65 – Duct Soup
66 – Back in the Red – Part 1
67 – Only the Good…
68 – Back in the Red – Part 2
69 – Back in the Red – Part 3
70 – Pete – Part 2
71 – Timewave
72 – Pete – Part 1
73 – Krytie TV

Thanks For The Memory wins not because of its clever plot (which is great) or amusing gags (which are great) but because of the whole triple-fried-egg-chili-chutney-sandwich scene, which I think is my favourite piece of character interaction in all of Red Dwarf. It’s funny, it’s touching, it gets to the heart of the characters and it sets up the story brilliantly.

For that reason, I think it’s an even better episode for characterisation than Marooned. And it’s the characters that are the real core of the show. Which I think is reflected throughout my top five.

[Dave]

But then User /u/Dreamxtreme said something that made me laugh…

[Dave]

Oh, and this tweet from Doug made me consider the possibilities of doing more than just a straightforward colour grade:

What I wanted but we couldn’t afford it. #RedDwarf30 pic.twitter.com/xBXRiZdGOV

— Doug Naylor (@DougRDNaylor) February 15, 2018

[Dave]

Just checked Amazon and I see it has updated with a price of £49.99. In which case £36 from Zoom feels like a pretty good deal.

[Dave]

I was half-expecting an announcement on this today, to take advantage of the 30th anniversary publicity, but I haven’t seen anything yet. I hope we get something official soon.

[Dave]

http://www.reddwarf.co.uk/features/history/life-during-dwarf-time/

[Dave]

The Pearl Poll results can’t come quick enough.

[Dave]

ChuckleVision has always been one of those hidden-gem kids’ shows that are actually genuinely funny for all ages. It’s very well-performed with some great verbal and slapstick gags.

Kids TV is sometimes treated as a bit of a comedy ghetto but ChuckleVision deserves the same kind of acclaim that, say, Horrible Histories (rightly) gets.

[Dave]

Not as good a name as No Slacking.

[Dave]

I like the one where they find out that their whole life has been an elaborate video game, and Paul is really a smelly old tramp while Barry is a fascist murderer.

[Dave]

But imagine doing it backwards.

[Dave]

Yes, it’s quite important to the plot. Disturbingly.

[Dave]

Given how it started, it’s impressive that this thread has somehow managed to get even *more* weird.

[Dave]

RED DWARF 9

Three separate three ends are multiplied into one, finally putting to rest the uncertain numerical status of Back To Earth.

[Dave]

THREE END

To celebrate Red Dwarf’s 30th anniversary, a fan watches the original assembly of The End, followed by the broadcast version, and then lines up the Remastered version afterwards too.

[Dave]

I’m tempted to watch the original assembly of The End instead. Or maybe as well as. I could line up the Remastered version afterwards too.

[Dave]

SEE NO iVIL

Hitler prefers 1080i. Of course he does.

[Dave]

QUEEHD

Red Dwarf is taken over by an evil new computer, QueeHD, who at dinnertime only lets Lister have 1080p on toast.

[Dave]

ONLY THE HD…

Rimmer goes through a portal to a parallel universe where Blu-Rays play at an slightly different rate, and as such the speed of reality itself is slightly different.

[Dave]

OUTPUT OF TIME

When the crew of Red Dwarf come face-to-face with their counterparts from the future, they become embroiled in a furious row over exactly what HD output format UK is broadcast by UK tv channels.

[Dave]

THANKS FOR THANKS FOR THE MEMORY

Fans of “Thanks For The Memory” stage a homemade remake in tribute to the original. Unfortunately it turns out to be so crap that they decide to bury the master tapes and wipe their memories of the whole affair.

[Dave]

JUST THE ARPEGGIOS

Edited version of the Red Dwarf theme tune that only retains the sections with the lyrics “it’s cold outside”, “I’m all alone”, “I want to lie” and “drinking fresh”.

[Dave]

JUST THE SNOWS

Idiosyncratic commentary track for series I-VIII featuring Jon Snow and Peter Snow.

[Dave]

JUST THE BEGGS

Ill-advised spinoff series based on about three minutes of ENTANGLED.

[Dave]

JUST THE SMUGS

Outtakes clip show in which we get a behind-the-scenes peek at Red Dwarf cast members looking really pleased with themselves.

[Dave]

PARALLEL SPOONIVERSE

Holly creates a dimension-jumping drive that transports the crew to a parallel world in which all cutlery is reversed. After Lister spends hours in tears of frustration trying to cut up a steak with a spoon, the crew decide it’s a rubbish parallel world and go back home.

[Dave]

Rodhunter.

[Dave]

Honestly, I always assumed Hollister was joking to make an exaggerated point.

It certainly sounds like an exaggerated point one way or the other.

[Dave]

Most lifts wouldn’t close though, that’s how people hold them open.

With their penis?

[Dave]

“Shardwification!”

[Dave]

Nobody knows what Magician’s Apprentice/Witch’s Familiar actually means.

Am I missing something? I thought it was pretty clear that they were both descriptions of Clara, defining her by her relationships to the Doctor and Missy in the two episodes.

I quite liked the mysterious nature of them and the way they didn’t give away much about the story.

[Dave]

RTD’s four bollocks?

[Dave]

Yup. I always figured Mark Williams was too busy dying his hair ginger to have time for RD.

“You ain’t seen me, right?”

[Dave]

Did George McIntyre get resurrected too?

[Dave]

I thought Petersen did get resurrected, but we just didn’t see him. They mention him being drunk when they first apprehend the crew of the crashed Starbug, don’t they?

[Dave]

Either way, I think I’d still rather the crew stayed dead though. The basic concept of the show in the I-VII years is much better than pretty much any angle you can find on the VIII version.

[Dave]

I like that explanation. All of it.

[Author]

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