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LISTER TO RED DWARF

A four-part miniseries which follows Dave Lister from his abondoment in a box in the Aigburth Arms to his enlistment on Red Dwarf.

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Red Dwarf: Parallel Existence Enigma

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Great, now we’ve got to retcon the size of the ship again.

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Chapter 36 is nothing unusually incompetent for cops anyways, he could’ve at least stood to exaggerate a little.

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Well it’s simple, now Out of the Red just has to end moments before the first scene of XIII starts filming.

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Does Photoshop not let you just outline text? Have I been absolutely pampered by spending most of my time with InDesign?

(Also, can somebody remind me the font?)

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Wankers, the lot of you. 

…as we meme this.

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Oh joy, what silly coincidence.

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42 rolls and one half-decent one. Not my night.

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Don’t worry about the hassle of playing games. And all game systems are tested through a free trial system. without having to transfer money to play We are open for all customers and members to try the game first. To match each person’s preferences for convenience and ease of decision-making for all members.

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It’s just phonetic.

Sure, but they are words that have specific spellings. Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti. And I think bo and wo are fair extrapolation from the pattern. And before anybody calls this pedantic, I’ll remind you (1) this database is should be as accurately searchable as possible and (2) to check the banner at the top of the page.

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Intrigued at the subtitles for this line, actually. Generally misspelled.

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The best of a rather shit crop i’ve been rolling this evening.

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More e-book troubles: are there actually more typos as the book goes along? Noticed a few strangely spelled words in the last couple chapters and now an odd stray punctuation mark. Wondering if it’s on purpose or if somebody got lazy sticking the whole book into a document.

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Well if there wasn’t then Doug wasted the best part of 15 years of his and all out lives,

Didn’t realize they’d been on such good terms that Doug was trying to produce and direct the film version of Rob Grant’s Incompetence. Hopefully he would’ve watered down the hotel scene for a PG-13 audience, such that when Harry entered, he only got an instant throbbing erection from her asking him to spit on her wrist.

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I wonder if the abortion clinic trash can line would’ve made the movie cut.

Was there ever going to be an actual fucking film of this or do you just keep referencing it rhetorically?

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If memory serves, I’m not certain I’ve read a complete novel since Summer 2017. Plenty of partials, but I was never great at keeping up with class pace. What a strange re-entry into reading for my own enjoyment this has been.

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I’m already through sixteen chapters after two days. I’m sure I’ll catch up by the end of the week.

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And so marks the point where you’ve mentioned Corbyn more than anyone else in this thread (apart from in direct reference to you mentioning him).
Our of interest, what are your reasons for celebrating?

Just that it winds all you lot up. For a forum based around a (brilliant) comedy, you people are some of the most humourless, pompous, boring wokebros I’ve ever come across. The sexy details crap is just not funny. It never was and never will be. Anyway you were the first person to mention him, Jono, when you peddled the ‘it was a scam’ crap. But enough about Corbo. You’re right, I’ve mentioned him FAR too much.

Damn man, that’s fucking crazy. What did you think about the Coral Canvass? I’ve always felt Better Than Life to be quite weak and am disappointed that it ranks above quite a few better episodes.

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“it’s compulsory” is surely just a shitly written tagline. It’s not like anybody’s been enforcing it. It’s not like it would even be consistently enforceable due to competence issues.

Hell, is that why the manager in chapter ten is thinking about firing her? Equity enforcement officer’s bad at his job? Or perhaps the manager must keep his job, as the threats to fire are simple incompetence. Maybe Harry’s just incompetent for believing her.

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There’s a similar gag pulled with the excerpt from the pan-European constitution that opens the book (shades of anti-EU sentiment here) but it still works as both a scene-setter and a nice opening joke. Then the inside-flap blurb is again a decent scene-setter that doesn’t give too much away.

This was where I was reading that from; this was the bits I was hoping to see.

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Hey, wait for me!!! I only bothered to get my “copy” set up last night. I’ve read through chapter nine since, read all your comments but not bothered to have much specific to say. A couple notes:

– My “edition” comes without the constitution or, indeed, anything else that would lie before the first chapter or after the last. Is it short enough that someone could post it to catch me up? More to the point, I vaguely know the premise starting out, but not too well. It does a reasonable job setting itself up regardless, I’d say.

– Speaking of the premise, I don’t mind some people being more incompetent than others. Being unable to discriminate on the basis of incompetence shouldn’t make everyone incompetent at everything, only encountering incompetence more routine. Otherwise you wouldn’t land people like the first cop we meet at the crime scene.

– With this as my first Rob Grant novel, I have no idea which pieces are his own self-insert and which are just him writing a character. Although how everyone here is responding sounds more like the former. Fantastic, I suppose I’ll spend the rest of the read avoiding imagining Rob Grant as a customer, surely thinking himself the smartest one in the room when in fact he’s the one getting everything wrong.

– I was also apparently the person who liked the four chapters then prologue approach. For me, having a gun to his head straight into the backwards time jump to “last day of my life” made me figure ‘oh. same day.’ Even though finishing the sentence revealed the “as i knew it”, I still happened to read the prologue as taking place That Very Morning, in the way I believe it turned out to be.

– Love the gross sensory stuff. To the point that it justifies the setup. Really enjoy watching this man be tortured. He’s likable enough to follow through the story but also unlikable enough to enjoy him suffering.

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16/02/2023 

Easy.

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He liked the concept enough to allow his name in the title of Craig Charles: UFO Conspiracies.

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Philbert Slackin’.

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https://archive.teletextarchaeologist.org/Pages?search=kryten

Apparently Kryten is mutually exclusive with a correct spelling of the show’s title.

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TPL is nearly 3 years old. Isn’t that wild. 

Still younger than every gap between series since VI, save VII-VIII and XI-XII, isn’t it?

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Very excited for what today brings.

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05/02/2023 

TPL, Samsara. Anybody got good explanations why nobody’s getting yellow squares today? It’s not as if they’re never in the science room in XII otherwise.

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BACK IN THE EARTH PART I

The crew fly around a restored, undersized, and rapidly expanding Earth. Nobody can figure out why it’s been built to original plans (without Seattle). The crew are held for killing JFK.

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GIGARCHY

After chasing a signal from Earth for hundreds of years, boosted Starbug engines mean the crew are finally able to catch up to it, only to find that the gigabots have turned it into a massive fucking Red Dwarf.

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Imagine them gettirg back to earth in 1421 but the gigabots have turned it into a massive fucking Red Dwarf

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Imagine them getting back to Earth in 1421, then there’s a “nine years later” caption and they’re all back on Red Dwarf like nothing ever happened.

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I, for one, propose Making a Meme of the Best and Worst Lines of Every Episode of Red Dwarf as the sequel project, if only for the daily anticipation and bickering over which line will be selected.

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27/01/2023 

Back to Reality, Ouroboros, Bodyswap???, Cassandra, Pete I

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