Gwynnie

[Gwynnie]

I interviewed for a property inspector and they put me in the fucking caf?. Awesome. I’m there right now so should hide the monitor…
I feel really sick today though. Guh.

[Gwynnie]

Oh yeah, and then it gets shit.

[Gwynnie]

Most people still don’t know who Derren is. Then again these are mostly the same people who haven’t heard of Dwarf, their idea of good TV being X Factor and Hollyoaks, so you know…
Derren more mainstream? I don’t know. I think he might just be taking advantage of the offers he’s had, better showing hours, airtime, whatever. But his material is getting a bit less impressive at the moment… predicting the Lottery numbers is impressive, of course, but nobody actually believes he did that, right? Mind you, you should still go see his live show, it’s a different experience actually being in the room, seeing people from the audience fall for the stuff you watch on TV and think is all fake. Unless most of the audience were stooges… nah.
The sad thing is that it’s very hard to find a nice, underrated thing (book, TV show, band) and keep them as your own forever – eventually, it seems, some producer realises there’s an opportunity and cashes in on it, the band/star/author sells out, and then really annoying people start talking about it as if it’s a totally new thing.

[Gwynnie]

Ah well, ordered a Samsung thingy now. I used to have a d900, and have no idea why I traded it in for a shite one. Ah well.

[Gwynnie]

Carol Vorderman… needs to dress for her age. But she does look good for it. However old she is.
Are there any more Derren Brown Events on? I don’t have a TV.

[Gwynnie]

Well. My phone ran out of battery about 8 hours after charging it. Surely it can’t be worse??

[Gwynnie]

Karl, I haven’t written slash!! Although I loved that someone at DJ asked Chris Barrie about it… and I still haven’t remembered to look for it! Hmm. Maybe for my next piece of writing…

[Gwynnie]

Stop it! I can’t afford an iPhone, you teases! I’ve ordered a Samsung pink thing now… it was ?40…

[Gwynnie]

Well, I may well post it somewhere sometime. I wrote it when I was 16 so it could probably be better :)

[Gwynnie]

Yeah, that’s helpful..

[Gwynnie]

Damnit, I’m watching an advert for an iPhone and now I want one…

[Gwynnie]

No iPhone promotion! :P I will break it.

[Gwynnie]

Well. Perhaps one day you might be interested in turning my script, “Parents” (the missing one between Parallel Universe and Backwards) into one of these. It’s probably the closest thing I’ll get. But not yet, I’d like to see your work blossom and grow first!

[Gwynnie]

Why are people getting creeped out by beards? Honestly. We can change the subject if you want. We’ve covered guys with long hair, and beards… what about flip-flops? ;)

[Gwynnie]

I live in Manchester too. We have Curtis Threadgold and Matt (can’t spell his surname off the top of my head) and probably lots more. You can all come to my birthday piss-up in December too!
And re: next DJ, yeah, I will be in Japan for a year teaching English! Which will be awesome but missing DJ will make me very sad. I promise to make up for it at the one after that!!

[Gwynnie]

Oh dear, what have you started (in particular, Bobby Llew… and Seb)? ;) Let’s hope they don’t get too pissed off with Doug for revealing it too soon and pull funding. Of course, if they do, we can go kick them in the eyes.

[Gwynnie]

Oooh, Doctor Who hate isn’t acceptable either.
My last boyfriend told me he liked Dwarf at first, but when he was getting bored of me and flirting with another girl in front of me who hated it, he said “yeah, I think it’s shit!” so that was that! Bastard.
Guh. I told people at work about DJ today and two of them said “Craig Charles – what, that rapist?” I’m going to quit that wankfest very soon.

[Gwynnie]

You’re comparing David Tennant to Princess Diana?

[Gwynnie]

Not another beard thread ;)
Well. I thought DJ was awesome. So, no complaining! And the next one will be even better, although I won’t be able to attend :(

[Gwynnie]

Mick! Hello :) where were you??

Hmm, well, if we’re talking about celebrities, all I’ve got is the touching thing. But my uncle is friends with John Barrowman, Cameron Mackintosh and many awesome people like that ;)

[Gwynnie]

But he’s still lovely. Beards are all very well and good but they can give you spots sometimes!

[Gwynnie]

Well, not a holistic detective agency, although it sounds FUN! Nah, but if it’s a choice between trying to run your own or being unemployed… well, it’s up to you whether you prefer a secure, low income from Jobseeker’s or to take the gamble.

[Gwynnie]

But you’re forgetting that they normally only get about 100 people, not the 400 odd that turned up this time. Plus it won’t have been the same people running it for 14 DJs!

[Gwynnie]

Oh dear. That’s what happens, I’m now convincing myself that my old jobs were better. At least they were temporary, part-time jobs while I was at college/uni, not the *only* thing going. Maybe we could all put our heads together and set up a business instead! I do hope to have my own holistic therapy practice one day though, oh yes.

[Gwynnie]

Well, the karaoke was bad, and I’m sure they’ll know not to book that guy again. The DJ at the disco was awesome, though, so it made up for it.
And taking the word “professional” to mean doing something and being paid for it, then I don’t think it was, so you have to respect the fan club for that. There was a lot of waiting around but if you befriended every poor soul within a 5m radius then the time passed a lot more quickly!

[Gwynnie]

Hahah, they do remind me of one another… and Richard Hammond looks a bit strange with longish hair too!

[Gwynnie]

Was it your first one?
It was mine, and I had an amazing time. Perhaps some things didn’t run according to schedule, but apparently they had much bigger numbers than they were used to dealing with. I thought that the organising team did very well to handle it, and the cast were lovely! (Especially Craig’s Q+A)

[Gwynnie]

Mmm, virgins…

[Gwynnie]

Awww, don’t do that over some stupid job. It’s only temporary, and it really doesn’t matter in the end. It’s what I tell myself anyway!

[Gwynnie]

Well, I’m very grateful for those mental images!

[Gwynnie]

Will you stop! I don’t have a long haired man fetish. It just so happens to… happen that way. That or the guys I get on with are the kind of guys who have long hair. Yeah. David Tennant would look silly with long hair :)

[Gwynnie]

Aww thank you dear! It’s from a poncy photoshoot I had a while ago!
Yep, lots of men with long hair at DJ!

[Gwynnie]

Oh yeah, I need to send you info about TEFL stuff!

[Gwynnie]

They’re all in my bedroom at the moment. Sorry, I was missing Wales.

[Gwynnie]

Well, if you’re ever in a position to kick him out of bed, just send him my way. It’s not so much his looks, I just think he’s lovely.
Yeah, Kate Beckinsale is the sex. But possibly harder to meet/touch. Apparently Angelina Jolie ate at a restaurant in my village in Wales during the filming of Tomb Raider 2!

[Gwynnie]

What pissed me off most was that I’d been ill, and dragged myself in to help them, then been left alone and not had my break, and then they had a go at me for not, y’know, making sure the place was sparkly while I had to deal with a massive queue. But yeah, it pays the bills, it’s just when you’ve recently graduated and naively believed that having a degree would help, it does get you down sometimes.
Ah, well, I’m escaping to Japan in March to teach English!! Muahahha. So it’s all good.

[Gwynnie]

He WAS short! I wasn’t that surprised. He has shrunk in many respects.

[Gwynnie]

Well, of course, things like tastes in TV programmes shouldn’t make a differnce if you really like the person. My boyfriend does not share my love for The Sims or The L Word or musicals… but Dwarf ranks above them all, and is almost an integral part of my identity now (is that sad?). Luckily he is a big geek Dwarf-wise (not enough of one to come to DJ though, grr) so I let him stick around! :)

[Gwynnie]

Well. You can’t diss the Tennant! Would YOU kick him out of bed?
If it helps, I would also love to touch Angelina Jolie, Kate Beckinsale and a host of other ladies. But I feel that Tennant is more accessible at the moment, probably because he’s British or something…

[Gwynnie]

Heheh. You did seem *slightly* drunk..I saw you at the disco too, strutting your stuff. That was Liam’s hair you were stroking, by the way. Get in! ;)

[Gwynnie]

I think anyone who was at the Q+A session this time will have found a new love for him. There was a slight jokey comment about having a life, but otherwise he was lovely, definitely made the weekend for me. But then you can’t trust my opinion because I had a massive Lister crush during my teenage years..

[Gwynnie]

Well, it’s not enough to meet these people, I have to touch them too! It solidifies the experience, or something. David Tennant is next on the list, anyway…

[Gwynnie]

>>So, what if the person was nice, attractive, had the compulsory cock/vagina/both and you were getting on brilliantly? then, one day you?re all cwtched up on the sofa watching Dave, and suddenly he/she/it bursts out with ?ahhh not Red Dwarf, I hate that fucking show!??

It would never get to that stage! I would have asked the question before ever letting them into my home, or cwtching up on a sofa with them! Honestly! :)

[Gwynnie]

Oh Humminbird, we totally met, you were telling me dirty things about how you like men with long hair…. :O

[Gwynnie]

Wow. Nice first impression. Rotten cunt… yum…
Yes, I am very much Welsh. I don’t live there now, but my parents made sure I could never escape my roots with this darned name (actually Gwyneth)!
Well, vaginas and breasts aren’t a must in a partner for me, as long as there’s cock there instead. Or even as well. I don’t discriminate, it’s all about the person. Obviously I would wait until I had decided that the person was attractive, nice and we were getting on until I slipped “so, do you like Red Dwarf?” into the conversation, not just walk through people on the street until someone said yes!

[Gwynnie]

Well, my first criteria for a man/woman love interest thing is liking of Red Dwarf. If they don’t like it, then they don’t get any. It might sound silly to others, but I’m sure you all understand ;)

[Gwynnie]

Was there one this Friday, too? Obviously DJ took priority ;)…
Derren Brown is amazing. I have touched him. Other than that very useful contribution, I’m not sure whether I believed that Derren actually fucked up. He often pretends to have made a big mistake, only to reveal that what he was in fact predicting or controlling is a completely differnt (and more impressive) variable. In this case, if it was actually live, I’m not so sure.
“The Events” are not his most impressive work. The “glued to the chair” thing did nothing for me, and the Lottery numbers… well… logic says that it had to be fixed. The explanation he gave made very little sense…

[Author]

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