Carlito

[Carlito]

For me, it’s:

V > II > VI > III > VIII = IV > VII > I

[Carlito]

How do you get three women to sleep with you?

Foursome.

[Carlito]

[Walter Raleigh] LOLz, just kidding [/Walter Raleigh]

[Carlito]

VIII > VII

[Carlito]

> I remember a Smegazine strip where Holly had a body, where she wore a skintight sparkly red catsuit.

Wasn’t it a Jake Bullet strip?

[Carlito]

Also forgot to mention, in my original dream Rimmer had the tunic uniform, but it was brown.

Yes… brown.

Like shit.

[Carlito]

VIII had some great lines too, though.

“Goddammit, Rimmer! I wanted that! I mean… the lab boys wanted that…”

[Carlito]

SICKBAGS ON STANDBY

[Carlito]

What if Simon Gregson is playing Steve McDonald playing Simon Gregson?

[Carlito]

I think a lot of people take Norman’s grumpy old man persona too seriously. He’s supposed to be a miserable git, that’s his act, his character. I could imagine a lot of the stuff he has said over the years has been pretty droll, deadpan tongue-in-cheek stuff. He’s always whinging and moaning in front of the other cast members and they just seem to dismiss it, as in they know what he’s like.

Who’s to say he isn’t playing all the fans with his MySpace stuff, so we’re swerved when he shows up in the specials? I’m not saying its “likely” but its not impossible.

[Carlito]

So when will I be able to get tikkas?

[Carlito]

And when the ship is resurrected, where’s the original Kochanski?? There should be two Kochanskis!

And Lister had his appendix out… TWICE!

(Actually, if the new episodes are a celebration of all things Dwarf, featuring a cornucopia of ‘old favourites’ like Duane Dibbley, Ace Rimmer and the Kinitawowi (sp?),maybe we’ll see Lister have his appendix removed again, for old times sake? I’d like to see it.)

[Carlito]

Has anyone noticed that Red Dwarf has a lot of plotholes and inconsistencies?

Seriously!

[Carlito]

I definitely remember seeing it on TV, and having it on video. As the first series I ever committed to tape was the repeat run of IV (around mid-1992) having seen V earlier in the year, I’m guessing it debuted in mid 1992.

Could be wrong, perhaps they exhumed the ad having debuted it the year before, but I don’t remember ever seeing it during the original V run.

[Carlito]

Some Lee and Herring love doing the rounds, I like it.

[Carlito]

I’m guessing that the new specials will be in the style of series IV-VI (including, evidently, the costumes) as they have been the most repeated, presumably the highest rated, and the freshest series in the eyes of current/new fans. Makes sense to tailor the new episodes to the average Dave audience… y’know, seeing as they’re showing on Dave and all.

[Carlito]

I remember that ad.

That is all.

[Carlito]

But Holoship was a real defining character episode for Rimmer, whereas Meltdown was more of a regression… or perhaps even slightly out of character. We always knew Rimmer had military aspirations but not that he was capable of being so callous and unfeeling. We felt we’d come to halfway like the guy, he wasn’t SUCH a bad person… and then he is basically responsible for the ‘death’ of everyone on the Wax planet.

[Carlito]

Could see that affecting the opinion of those Dwarfers who are predominantly sci-fi fans and for whom the comedy is a pleasing side dish. But for those who hold the sci-fi and comedy in equal stead, or who are perhaps more comedy fans for whom the sci-fi is palatable because it comes served with big laughs…. not so much.

[Carlito]

I’m just glad Meltdown went out last rather than first, if it’s as unpopular as it is perceived to be it could have turned viewers off to the show, the series ratings may have declined, and IV may have been the last we saw of the Boys from the Dwarf.

When I first saw IV (which was a repeat run not long after V ended, not as part of the ‘From Here to Entirety’ run), Dimension Jump was the first episode.

[Carlito]

I’m not a massive fan of Camille, but I’m surprised you’d think it would rank low… I always thought it was considered a ‘classic’ episode. Same goes for Parallel Universe and Better Than Life which don’t seem to get much love… I think Series II in its entirety is near perfect, including those episodes. I guess it’s all subjective, of course, but its surprising when what you figure is a ‘no-brainer’ actually turns out to be the opposite in other people’s eyes.

I definitely think Meltdown’s perceived unpopularity has to be taken into the context of its original airing. If it had been a mid-series episode, it would have been just fine. Nobody would have really held a grudge against it. As the series closer, with a war theme during turbulant times overseas, having been delayed (maybe increasing anticipation – you know how Dwarf fans like to build things up in our minds before actually seeing them), with a fairly sombre ending (save the light bee gag) maybe it just got a little too close to the bone for the times we were in, was a little anti-climactic as the last episode of what had been a triumphant enough series, was perhaps a bit darker in tone than expected… I don’t know, I didn’t see it on first airing, I’m just throwing things out there… perhaps those who saw it first time round will be able to provide better explanations, in the context of when it aired.

[Carlito]

It’s the same as I often say Series IV is one of my least favourite series of Red Dwarf, but I still fucking love it. Just not as much as some of the others.

[Carlito]

Then again, I’d probably consider it the weakest of series IV, and as it was the series closer and was following some ‘classics’ in Dimension Jump, Camille etc. it was probably a bit of a downer to end the series on, an anti-climax.

It was fresher in the memory at the time of the poll, having only been aired a year or two before so, much as whenever a poll is held for topics such as “greatest comedian ever” or “20 greatest songs of all time” contemporary stuff usually charts highly because of freshness in the memory, the disappointment of Meltdown (assumption!) still stung and it placed bottom.

Being “least favourite” doesn’t equate to “bad”. In a series of excellent episodes, the “worst” episode isn’t neccessarily a “bad” episode… it can still be brilliant, just the LEAST brilliant of all the brilliant episodes in this brilliant series, dwarfed (no pun…) in the brilliance of the other episodes. Yeah?

[Carlito]

If I remember correctly (and I was probably about 9 or 10 at the time) the fun-filled Red Dwarf Smegazine held some kind of poll (readers, I’d assume) to list the episodes in order of popularity, and Meltdown came last.

This was either just after or just before Series VI, so episodes from VI may or may not have been included in the poll (but if I had to wager, I’d say it was just Series I-V).

I guess the reputation stuck.

It isn’t my favourite Dwarf episode by any means, but it isn’t my least favourite either.

[Carlito]

Quit showing off.

[Carlito]

What if she wrote “I Am A Fish” several hundred times, did a funny little dance, and fainted…? Would that count as failing?

[Carlito]

Tambor actually made that statement a while ago, I remember reading it at the time and then about a week later, I read an interview ith Cera saying that he was unsure about doing it and that he’d have to see a script and that it was only a ‘speculative’ project in the first place.

And then more recently there was another article (on Digital Spy) where apparently Cera was now “officially onboard” the AD movie.

[Carlito]

Don’t just watch one, watch a couple to get into it. Then you’ll probably love it. It can be hard to tap into if you only watch one.

[Carlito]

A lot of humour in Arrested Development comes from running gags and repetition which will be hard to carry over into a standalone movie.

Doesn’t mean it won’t be good (I fucking love the series!) just that it will probably be different.

[Carlito]

They could probably spend the next ten years trying to find funding to make a movie about trying to make the movie.

[Carlito]

They could probably spend the next ten years trying to find funding to make a movie about trying to make the movie.

[Carlito]

So the man is prepared to put his career on hold for an entire decade in a fruitless wild goose chase to get the movie made, but not to put his own money into it?

And you presume he isn’t insane why?

[Carlito]

Well, unless they’re using old clips (like a montage of each previous series) what will they use for the intro? I’d probably rather not see a bunch of clips all taken from the episode I’m literally about to watch.

[Carlito]

Doubt they’d even have a title sequence, let alone a pre-title sequence.

A logo and a model shot, then into the action, a la several episodes of series VII. Time is of the essence!

[Carlito]

Obviously it went elsewhere, or they got shafted on their cut of DVD sales. But where, or why?

You know, just trying to stir up a bit of debate, or learn a few little interesting snippets along the way… no need to jump down my throat.

You know what, Capps, you’ve changed.

You’re tetchy.

[Carlito]

My point was that the show must have brought a LOT of money in to GNP in the decade since Doug started trying to get the film funded. Probably enough to make a movie, even if it meant perhaps compromising on the budget a little bit.

[Carlito]

I want this guy wrapping my Christmas presents for me next year.

Actually fuck him, ANYONE will do.

[Carlito]

“The stills photographer isn’t allowed to shoot on set while the cameras are rolling, so the only time that you get with the actors in full costume and make up is during the camera rehearsal” – Paul Grant (Re: Red Dwarf III)

Chances are they had photos taken during a rehearsal, perhaps before they opted for the Cat hairstyle we came to know.

[Carlito]

Well put, Pete. Agreed.

[Carlito]

A few pence per unit would be scandalous and surely incorrect?

I mean, I know (or rather already assumed) that despite GNP’s property being the irreplacable nucleus of the entire product, those greedy bastards(the distribution/retail companies et al) involved in the DVD hitting the shelves will have stuck their grubby little fingers into the tin and snatched all the choc nut caramels in the purple wrapping, leaving GNP little more than a handful of unwanted coffee creams… but a “few pence” is taking the piss.

[Carlito]

I jest. This ——————————————————————————->
is the face of a series 8 fan.

[Carlito]

Yeah, if they changed the format of the show after series 6, to each episode seeing the crew arriving at a different planet, getting into some kind of scrape which they must resolve by the end of the episode, and then transporting into the unknown again at the end of each show, Red Dwarf could have been reimagined as a bit of a ‘Quantum Leap in Space’ sitcom, hey?

May have worked as well, but probably only for one series before it got old and fans began clamouring for the crew to go back to Red Dwarf again (and hopefully find that the crew has been resurrected, the premise of the entire show has been bastardized and those lovable space adventurers will be thrown in jail so they can no longer have any of those lovable space adventures we used to love… but hey, wishful thinking…)

[Carlito]

Figures are hugely speculative of course, but 7.2m DVD sales must have put a fair old whack into the GNP company coffers.

[Carlito]

7.2m DVDs? The DVDs were usually at least ?15 a pop when released, most places closer to ?20.

Now I don’t know whether GNP were paid a flat rate for the DVDs, or a percentage of sales, or whatever… don’t know what is standard, not my area of expertise so I won’t pretend it is… but even if we round the price of the these DVDs down to just ?15 each, for the sake of not knowing the score and taking into account discounts and offers and international sales et al…. that’s at least ?100m in shop tills around the world generated by Red Dwarf.

Obviously I know the costs of printing, packaging, distribution etc must be taken into account but if GNP got even 5% of that figure, that’s ?5m. Coupled with the various other sources of income, including television rights nationally and internationally, you got yourself a movie budget right there.

Remind me again why the movie never happened?

[Carlito]

Lovely stuff.

Not my words, the words of Shakin’ Stevens.

What program do you use to edit these vids you make?

[Carlito]

I remember Meltdown at the bottom of a “fan’s episode rankings poll” in the old Smegazine back in the day… if I remember correctly. (Yes, this way way before VII and VIII were aired to muchos fan acclaim)

I didn’t say it was MY personal least favourite, I just listed a bunch of episodes that get a lot of stick and could be contenders for least popular RD episode.

[Carlito]

Whats this “Listy and Krytie” thing? For me the dynamic duo of Dwarf are Listy and Rimmsy.

Anyway, why Listy and Krytie? Why not Listie and Kryty? Listy and Kryty? Listie and Krytie?

My mind is mashed….

[Carlito]

I’ll have at least 48 minutes… depends how many time I rewatch it as soon as its finished. :)

Even if its shit, it will get an “instant replay” second chance… although I really don’t think I could ever find a Dwarf episode, in its entirety, to be “shit”, Even the worst ever RD episode (Only the Good? Meltdown? Duct Soup? Pete Pt. 2?) has its plentiful merits.

[Carlito]

It reminds me of that time when I used to be a necrophiliac.

Had to stop in the end, got grassed up. I was getting away with it as well, but then some rotten cunt split on me.

[Carlito]

Maybe the two have a perfectly fine, decades old friendship that they successfully seperate from their professional lives, and Rob just felt they should quit Dwarf while they were ahead, and Doug wanted to continue milking the cash cow? Or maybe Rob just wanted solo glory and credit, maybe he felt he was the stronger link and wanted to prove as much?

Doesn’t mean they’re any less friends, just friends that no longer write together.

[Author]

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