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Regarding ‘PD’ I reckon it does mean the more specific ‘paint duty’ as Rimmer says something like ‘oh no, 8 weeks painting the smegging ship’ to Lister. 

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It only works in Earths atmosphere innit. 

Now…..as to why it didn’t start off cloaked to which Lister then said cloak and it uncloaked……I think it’s well established that Backwards is best watched without thinking too much. 

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Yes 

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I think he teleports them to his court/lair whatever 

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Mechocracy: Rimmer mocks Kryten’s past mental health issues, prompting Kryten to respond with digs about Rimmer’s deaths. Meanwhile, the cat needs glasses. 

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The end credits refer to him as ‘Cat’ 

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And the Rat and the parallel universe female rat or whatever animal it was and its parents and priest etc 

Frank 

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He’s called Frank 

So is Cat and his parents 

And the priest 

And the dog priest we never saw 

And the dogs parents 

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Now the GNP lawyers are done with the rights dispute, they need to get on this asap. RUIN these smeggers 

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I reckon they had a bit, then they had a bit, then they had some more. 

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I sometimes do that thing Cat did when pretending like he was going to rush and help Lister but then just went back to eating. Not so specifically mind, I’m not a cat and I don’t know anyone called Lister (anymore, I used to know two people called David Lister amazingly) 

I also do Rimmers ‘yeeeeeeeeeee….NO’ thing 

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This was one universe to the left. 

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I was just being quirky, I love Dawn Tinsley 

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Loaded up the episode to have a look, I do think it’s just supposed to look spacey. 

I did notice however there is a bit of a dodgy edit during the conversation regarding where Kryten is sat, the angle and the lighting change between the close up and the side shot. 

I agree, RD is useless, I’m dedicating myself to being a Vicar of Dudley fan. 

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That was a tough one, didn’t get it.

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Ugh Jeremy Vine. 

Don’t watch this show often but enjoy it when I do, look forward to seeing it. 

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Sounds like he’s happy 

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Yep I’m pretty sure it’s because there are a lot of them with famous toothy grins, so a joke like ‘more teeth than the entire Baldwin family’ or ‘than Tony Robbins’ wouldn’t work as well. 

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Also it’s double d surely? 

#Sniggers

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Episode 1 sounds hilarious 

Episode 2: What if they hadn’t travelled back in time and put Lister under the pool table? Would they just have 2 Listers? One 30 odd years younger than the other? Would they cease to exist at some point? Would it be cruel to the baby Lister? Would he still develop a scouse accent? 

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Yeah I really like it, it feels much more in tune with the show than the pencil design. 

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Not the first bit. The bit about the non-officers I made up, not sure if it’s in the novels. 

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They were the 3 female officers. The male officers died on impact. The non-officers Kryten didn’t give a shit about, might have died, might have survived. 

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Red Dwarf 14: Repurposed 

A series of episodes that sort of do exist a bit, now with pencil ship CGI shots and extra skutters

Body Snatcher 

Dad 

Identity Within 

Red Christmas 

Red Dwarf USA 

Into The Gloop 

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Yeah very difficult to speculate at this stage but it’s an internet forum so fuck it I’ll charge in. 

I reckon the cast will be something like 

Dave Lister: Younger actor resembling Craig Charles 

Arnold Rimmer: Younger actor resembling Chris Barrie 

K/Christine Kochanski: As above, resembling Annett/Grogan

Holly: Female version, younger Hattie (I would POP if it was actually Hattie) 

“Cat”: A character that resembles and acts like a young DJJ, but isn’t actually a cat. He could be called that though, short for ‘Carton’ or something. 

“Kryten” A mechanoid of some kind similar to old bog bot. 

We will likely see some other pre-accident friends like Hollister, McGruder and Petersen too. Maybe a female Hollister. 

I predict it will be a bigger/broader cast of characters than we are used to in most RD instances, though the story will focus on Rimmer and Lister. 

There will of course be some brand new, unseen characters, particularly the antagonists. Knowing Rob’s solo Dwarf probably flesh eating, baby drowning, pot noodle eating Nazis. 

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Maybe a bit obscure but maybe Huey Lewis and The Power of Love for Future Echoes? Due to its connection with BTTF 

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I’ve always noticed it say Lise, but never cared enough to mention it in and ‘explain that’ type threads. 

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I’d never seen that poem before, loadoftottnumb – it’s great. 

Yeah I love it, I only saw it for the first time the other day myself. 

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Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
   I will teach you in my verse
   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
   Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear;
   Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
   Just compare heart, hear and heard,
   Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it’s written).
   Made has not the sound of bade,
   Say–said, pay–paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
   But be careful how you speak,
   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;
   Woven, oven, how and low,
   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,
   Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing,
Same, examining, but mining,
   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
   Solar, mica, war and far.

From “desire”: desirable–admirable from “admire”,
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,
   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,
   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.
   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,
   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.
   This phonetic labyrinth
   Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured
To pronounce revered and severed,
   Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,
   Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
   Blood and flood are not like food,
   Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which exactly rhymes with khaki.
   Discount, viscount, load and broad,
   Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?
Right! Your pronunciation’s OK.
   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
   Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your r correct in higher?
Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.
   Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,
   Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision,
Now: position and transition;
   Would it tally with my rhyme
   If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,
But cease, crease, grease and greasy?
   Cornice, nice, valise, revise,
   Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous,
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,
   You’ll envelop lists, I hope,
   In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You’ll have it!
Affidavit, David, davit.
   To abjure, to perjure. Sheik
   Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.
   We say hallowed, but allowed,
   People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover.
   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
   Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
   Petal, penal, and canal,
   Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit
Rhyme with “shirk it” and “beyond it”,
   But it is not hard to tell
   Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,
   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
   Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
Has the a of drachm and hammer.
   Pussy, hussy and possess,
   Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.
   Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,
   Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

“Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker“,
Quoth he, “than liqueur or liquor“,
   Making, it is sad but true,
   In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
   Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
   Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic,
Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.
   Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,
   Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
Make the latter rhyme with eagle.
   Mind! Meandering but mean,
   Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny,
You say mani-(fold) like many,
   Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
   Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
Rhyme with herring or with stirring?
   Prison, bison, treasure trove,
   Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald
Rhymes (but piebald doesn’t) with nibbled.
   Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
   Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don’t be down, my own, but rough it,
And distinguish buffet, buffet;
   Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,
   Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.
   Evil, devil, mezzotint,
   Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention
To such sounds as I don’t mention,
   Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,
   Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included,
Though I often heard, as you did,
   Funny rhymes to unicorn,
   Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely,
I don’t want to speak of Cholmondeley.
   No. Yet Froude compared with proud
   Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial,
Tripod, menial, denial,
   Troll and trolley, realm and ream,
   Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,
   But you’re not supposed to say
   Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid
Worthless documents? How pallid,
   How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
   When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
Paramour, enamoured, flighty,
   Episodes, antipodes,
   Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don’t monkey with the geyser,
Don’t peel ‘taters with my razor,
   Rather say in accents pure:
   Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,
   Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
   Wan, sedan and artisan.

The th will surely trouble you
More than r, ch or w.
   Say then these phonetic gems:
   Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
There are more but I forget ’em–
   Wait! I’ve got it: Anthony,
   Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit
Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;
   With and forthwith, one has voice,
   One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger;
Then say: singer, ginger, linger.
   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
   Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very,
Parry, tarry fury, bury,
   Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,
   Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,
Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners
   Holm you know, but noes, canoes,
   Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual,
   Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,
   Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
   Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
   Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific;
   Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,
   Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,
Next omit, which differs from it
   Bona fide, alibi
   Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
   Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion,
   Rally with ally; yea, ye,
   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.
   Never guess-it is not safe,
   We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary,
Crevice, but device, and eyrie,
   Face, but preface, then grimace,
   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;
   Ear, but earn; and ere and tear
   Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the o of off and often
Which may be pronounced as orphan,
   With the sound of saw and sauce;
   Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.
   Respite, spite, consent, resent.
   Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,
   Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
   Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour,
S of news (compare newspaper),
   G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
   I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers,
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.
   Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,
   Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation-think of Psyche!-
Is a paling, stout and spiky.
   Won’t it make you lose your wits
   Writing groats and saying “grits”?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,
   Islington, and Isle of Wight,
   Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don’t you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?
   Finally, which rhymes with enough,
   Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup…
My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

Gerard Nolst Trenité – The Chaos (1922)

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I had a friend who died after taking too much indigestion medicine, I still can’t believe Gav is gone. 

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Bit of both I think, after crashing Krytes was too scared to go again, and the bike was totalled anyway. He also felt tremendous guilt about the bike, so they all decided it would be best for him to stay as part of the crew. They come across planets with vegetation on occasion, he can plant some stuff.  

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Just to cross-fertilise threads a little, Gunnersbury museum has gender-neutral toilets, just like a million establishments have had for years. 

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Went to this today, if you like Sci-Fi in general it’s great, if like me, you are only really into RD then it’s still worth it, though I didn’t have to travel far. 

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Not going to link to it or repeat it, but I really wish DJJ hadn’t updated his Twitter. 

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Cos he is Spare Head 2, everything is twice. 

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In ‘Duct Soup’ when Kryten shrinks Mz Kochanski’s outfit he asks who on earth is going to tell her. He’d only been there once and that was backwards, also they had no idea who was on earth or if there still was one, so why on earth did he ask that? 

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More a mundane point than an observation but yesterday I was flicking through the channels and came across an episode of The Upper Hand with Angela Bruce in it, I watched for a minute, got bored and turned the telly off. Just turned it on now again, same channel, and it’s an episode of Shine on Harvey Moon with Suzanne Bertish. 

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It’s best to just assume a characters name is Frank then you can’t go far wrong. 

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Let’s get things back on track with a good old fashioned penis gag shall we? 

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Handy they originally picked a gender neutral name to begin with, this could have got more complicated if Norman Lovetts character had been called Geoff 

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Holly, Kryten, The Cat and Rimmer should all be described as ‘that/it’ because they are just things, pets or pieces of tech. 

Lister should he described as ‘that/it’ because he is gross. 

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Arlene is one of the few characters I actually dislike watching, she just comes across as deranged and insufferable. 

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I’m more amazed that he’s the geeky one in Carry on Loving. 

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Slightly off topic and I may have said this before I specifically remember the first time I watched Officer Rimmer seeing them tell it to make a list and thinking they were setting up some clever payoff to Captain Herring turning into paper after completing his task, by tricking the Rimmonster into either completing its list or writing a list it had already completed.

I’m also mad at all of you for not adopting my term “Rimmonster” to refer to it. You’ll be hearing from my lawyers.

Well if you’re going off topic I’ll stay there to give a bit of an answer. I mentioned elsewhere I saw OR filmed and the whole first scene is removed where Rimmer bollocks Lister for not doing the MOT on the ramscope, whereby they then have a back and forth about making to-do lists and always having a pen etc, which the ending references. 

Oddly the whole ‘promoted/demoted’ technician 2.5’ stuff was originally included at the start of this episode, which would have made much more sense, Listers ‘welcome back Techinician 2.0’ line even survives later.

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Was Pam St Clement in line to play Kryten?

It doesn’t. I tried that earlier and it always comes out too smooth. Like a normal face on a Kryten head.
Case and point: David Ross onto IV Bobby Llewellyn.

I give you the Baron Harkonnen.

[Author]

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