Phobos And Deimos

[Phobos And Deimos]

Bill was written to be black, gay and quirky.

They then forgot to write a decent character. I don’t care what colour a character is, their background, their sexuality, whatever they are or aren’t, I don’t give a tinker’s. But don’t write a character with those elements as a starting point and then forget to write the rest. Someone interesting, someone with a past, a present, whatever is needed to flesh out someone that is more than just a wink and nod to the audience and a one-dimensional sidekick to Peter Capaldi, who is the most interesting and contradictory incarnation of the Doctor since Colin Baker.

I have this feeling in my gut that the next companion will be a young, go-getting, handsome fella to try and counteract the sway of the ship that a female Doctor is going to bring and in a sense, reset the show back to what we all know.

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Darrell, you’re clearly getting me all wrong and you’re playing the man, not the ball, so give it a rest.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Yes, full of black and gay characters, fine, but Bill was a very conscious nod towards introducing someone that personified a lot of that in a character that was part of the principal cast and past that, there was fuck all to her, just another shite companion that was created to bring in a wider audience and show off the ol’ diversity remit.

I knew once Capaldi was cast that the next Doctor would be a woman, simply by following the pattern. You had a succession of younger Doctors, then he finds his way again and becomes a more mature, seasoned figure like Hartnell. So where do you go from there? You can’t cast another younger white man and you can’t go for a person of colour straight off the bat so you follow the natural curve, a nice, white, middle-class woman. I have no doubt that the fourteenth Doctor will also be a woman, and the series will likely reach its natural conclusion and end on the BBC in about seven years before being picked up again down the line, say 2035.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Clara was a bit boring but harmless and that’s fine. Amy was the best companion, ever.

Bill was about ticking diversity boxes and once you start ticking boxes, you may as well give up.

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At least they got rid of Bill.

She was fucking awful.

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Oooooooh, I didn’t know you were into the rough stuff. Honestly, it’s enough to make a girl blush.

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My grandfather was a miner.

Don’t recall him serving aboard any outer planet vessels, nor did he ever mention dying in a massive radiation leak.

Or living past 1994.

Which is handy as he pegged it before witnessing the long, drawn out death rattle of Red Dwarf.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Oh, look, a cinema loving Stewart Lee’s let himself go.

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“Spirit-destroying” – Darrell Jones

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Sorry, I’m thinking of Lynda Bellingham.

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She sadly passed away a few years ago.

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Iain Lee put it best…

“Oh, don’t talk to me about Red Dwarf, I’m not going to listen, it’s rubbish. It’s just ‘smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg, smeg, oh look a cat, smeg, smeg, smeg’. It’s not sci-fi, it’s not comedy, it’s RUBBISH”.

Buncha bollocks that Red Dwarf, I just bought the complete series of ‘End of Part One’ on DVD from Network. Now there’s a fucking lost gem of a comedy.

[Phobos And Deimos]

And ten years later, I fucking wish smoking in public was banned as well. The amount of dickheads who puff away strolling down the street and I’m forced to hold my breath and pass them, grumbling away.

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You can tell he just downloaded any ol’ blue, ran it through the mosaic filter in Photoshop and painted the results.

Still worth a crafty wank.

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I wish the BBC would restart the wiping policy.

Oh you all know how I feel about the BBC, let’s have a singalong.

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Huh, having looked it up, you’re right, it’s Grenfell.

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The Next Generation Season 6 – A shining light in the Star Trek canon.

The Next Generation Season 7 – A load of fucking wank bar ‘All Good Things’.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Greenfell that is, not the Series VIII premiere.

…

Fourth username.

[Phobos And Deimos]

I drove past it on the way to Euston from Heathrow two days after it happened, it was fucking surreal and horrible to see in person. It looked like it could’ve just blew away in the wind.

[Phobos And Deimos]

One of the issues about ending the show after Series VI is that there would be a lot of people sitting 24 years later saying… my word, what would a potential Series VII been like? And we’d have elevated the unknowns and little morsels of information to come out over the years into near-mythical status. We might’ve heard about plot points regarding time travel, the return of Kochanski, catching up with Red Dwarf, intelligent viruses and drove ourselves mental. Doug might’ve even created a few scripts and put them out in a 15th or 20th anniversary book celebrating the show.

A new audience for the show and new episodes are a good thing and it’s a rarity, if not a singular achievement that a BBC 2 sit-com has persisted and continues to be made to this day after thirty years, but if the writing isn’t up to scratch, then forget about it.

There’s reasons why the first six series worked.

And there’s reasons why it began to falter afterwards.

There’s always reasons, or a reason.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Having Googled Doug McClure, how come I didn’t know this?

I thought it was a running joke about some American actor they had made up that appeared in a series of rubbish b-movies.

I feel I’ve opened my eyes yet seen nothing.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Creative Greenfell more like.

…

…

I’m gonna have to register a third username, aren’t I.

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Oh crikey.

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The.Red.Dwarf.S01E01.WEBRip.x264.720p-DEFLATE[HDSector]

[Phobos And Deimos]

Oh well, it was a nice idea while it lasted (8 hours and 32 minutes).

It’s astonishing to say but the best version of each Red Dwarf episode publicly available for fan restoration is still the VHS editions as DVD MPEG compression knocks the hell out of the image. The frame is competing with multiple tape generations, basic colour grading and tape masters which aren’t exactly the best sources available.

[Phobos And Deimos]

The one good thing about these editions is that I’ll have new video transfers to work and restore from instead of relying on the DVDs.

Unless Grant Naylor uses their 2001 transfers as the template which is sadly not an impossibility.

Or discards alternate frames, or releases poorly converted NTSC 1080i60 editions for the entire market, or fucks with the colour and grading, or crops for widescreen, or releases the Remastered editions only, or generally fucks it up somewhere along the line.

Because they will fuck it up somewhere, that’s how they work now.

Not that I’m complaining.

[Phobos And Deimos]

All the episodes are re-released backwards except Backwards which is re-assembled from alternate takes.

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“Rimmer, the only reason you hung around with those prats from the Titan Union of Fascists is cuz you could never get a date.”

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Doug McClure is real?

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JMC Curry and Chips.

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I have perhaps two Red Dwarf dreams a year, mostly lost episodes between Series III and IV and are usually non-comedic two hour dramas dealing with some crisis on the lower decks.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Still on the cards and essentially complete but I’m looking at procuring non-VHS, non-DVD, non-off-air recordings so I can utilise copies without compression or station idents.

If someone knows of tapes that may have fell off the back of a BBC Manchester lorry, do get in touch.

[Phobos And Deimos]

I still love this idea.

How about a fan-derived edition of it?

John Hoare as Paul Jackson.

Ian Symes as Rob Grant.

Jo as Dona DiStefano.

Myself as Paul Montague.

[Phobos And Deimos]

August 1st, 2017 – I swear to Christ.

[Phobos And Deimos]

We send Earth $£350 million a week.

Let’s fund our Outer Moons Health Service instead.

Vote Titexit.

[Phobos And Deimos]

It was the bastards in power who told us they and their machinations are important in the first place.

Silly things are not silly, by any measure.

Never, ever let anything or anyone else corrupt or dilute what makes you happy.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Doctor Who is just… awful now.

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Sloblocks.

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An episode here and there, nothing from the post-Rob years.

She thinks Rimmer is maladjusted and remembers it originally being on but it completely passed her by. She does like the end song though and sings FUN, FUN, FUNNNNNN IN THE SUN, SUN, SUNNNNNN in an attempt to annoy me.

She has appalling taste, I’m the luckiest man in the world.

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Oh and she says hello and admits she does like some of it but it’s a bit po-faced and ’80s.

She says that like it’s a bad thing.

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Cunt beside her.

Fucking slippery reply button not playing nice on mobile Chrome.

[Phobos And Deimos]

The gravity field created inside the ship radiates outside the hull for a few meters and that’s why Lister needed a seat for painting the hull.

Either that they didn’t have a regulation zero gravity winch and just retrofitted a cargo picker sit-me-down for extravehicular activity with magnets on the seat and in the arse of the spacesuit.

I’m glad to see the inconsistencies project is unofficially back up and running.

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Maybe we should just ask him.

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The Naylor Parable.

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THERE’S ONLY ONE ANDREW KELVIN DE EMMONY.

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My friend’s initials are JMC.

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Is Doug Naylor Jawscvmcdia?

Ganymedenders will return… right now.

No, he’s not.

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Tell you what, that crack is really John Hoareish.

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John Poare.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Ssh, you’ll ruin the group fanwank.

[Author]

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