Frank Smeghammer

[Frank Smeghammer]

It’s pretty ridiculous that our Rimmer becomes Ace. I mean either Starbug is powering him across time and space or he is stopping to charge his remote light bee on most adventures.

Then then reveal that all previous Aces have also been holograms, somehow. Except obviously the first one (or is he the first?) from Dimension Jump as he is surprised to find his Alpha universe equivalent is dead.

Also, when you choose to become Ace you also lose the H as apparently that was always optional.

I like the episode but it really doesn’t stand up to scrutiny

[Frank Smeghammer]

Kryten is the only one who looks like Kryten

Should the others look like Kryten?
Does Hitler look very much like Hitler?

Hitler doesn’t look like Hitler on film, you gotta use Charlie Chaplin

[Frank Smeghammer]

Yes, that is a relief.

Agreed totally, but it is a surprise. They make the figures for just about every IP going

[Frank Smeghammer]

I’m still amazed that despite being able to get Funko Pop figures for so many TV shows, movies, comics etc no matter how niche, Red Dwarf has never had any.

I mean I know it’s American and it never really blasted off over the water but you’d think…

[Frank Smeghammer]

Please, I coined that law almost a decade ago.

Symes’s Law is like Symes’s love: hard and fast

[Frank Smeghammer]

Yes, the natural Series VIII-ification of Red Dwarf discussions is a well-known phenomenon. It should probably be named after the person who first observed it, but failing that, we could call it Ackerman’s Law.

Just got onto VIII on my latest watchthrough as well. Watching the opening bunkroom scene as we speak. It’s the best part of the whole series. It’s quite funny. Shame about everything that follows

[Frank Smeghammer]

If we’re going to dissect Series VIII logic again this thread will get seriously derailed.

Sort of like Godwin’s Law, any lengthy discussion of Red Dwarf increasingly tends towards discussion of that fucking dinosaur two parter (which I shall not name) the longer the discussion goes on

[Frank Smeghammer]

I call it… Karma.

[Frank Smeghammer]

I…er…

I prefer not to speak

[Frank Smeghammer]

This site is by a fairly wide margin the online community I’ve been an active part of for the longest.

(*only jesting)

[Frank Smeghammer]

Always found Series 12 to be quite poor. At last my unpopular opinion has been vindicated

[Frank Smeghammer]

Please, not the cloche discourse again

[Frank Smeghammer]

No that’s an actual photograph of Ben in his school days. He was born with an unusually low polygon count.

It’s hereditary, passed down from his mother, PS1 Lara Croft

[Frank Smeghammer]

I believe that one was someone else. I won’t bother giving his name out, but the same person that disrupted the Quarantine Commentaries chat a fair bit also created many many accounts on here over the years.

Yep, just searched it and it came flooding back to me. That was a monumental pain in the arse at the time

[Frank Smeghammer]

Oh, just had a little looksie, yeah he sounds like an utter knob. 
Stuff about “commies” from what I can make out. Oh, and stalking Moonlight on Twitter? 
Was he one of those toxic right wing weirdos who goes on about everything being woke? 

Not all that right wing, he was one of those Aggressively Centrist people. Nothing wrong with his sincerely held beliefs, he was just really weird about them.

He had two obsessions. One was Moonlight, the other was hating Jeremy Corbyn. And whenever he could shoehorn a discussion about one of them into a thread he would.

I might be confusing my G&T trolls here but didn’t he pop up again a few times under a new name but it became really obvious it was just TDD again and he just got banned over and over?Maybe that was another weirdo?

[Frank Smeghammer]

I knew coming from Dave there had to be a reason the GIF was shoddy and then it pays off. Brilliant

[Frank Smeghammer]

Welcome. Seen some of your posts, you’ll fit in just nicely here

[Frank Smeghammer]

I like the Salt Lake City joke too, and for the record I am British, not American. I just know Utah is Mormon Country.

It’s one of those jokes where it either tickles you or it doesn’t. Certainly you can say it’s not a big laugh. It’s either boring or mildly amusing and that’s the problem

[Frank Smeghammer]

I think the knight escaping from the AR machine would have made an interesting “monster of the week” episode in itself. I know it doesn’t make a lot of scientific sense but all the characters Lister has abused in AR for his own amusement escaping and seeking revenge.

Perhaps it was a seed of an idea Doug had that he couldn’t make work so twisted it around into a minor plot point in Stoke me a Clipper

[Frank Smeghammer]

[Frank Smeghammer]

I order you to select 36D as the breast size for Rimmer.

Even better when you realise that is actually Rimmer’s line. Demanding that he be given sizable jugs upon reanimation

[Frank Smeghammer]

If you combined the episodes into a big feature length where by day various Rimmers are squabbling and backstabbing each other and by night the evil creatures of self-loathing and bitterness come to hunt their prey, that would work.

Sort of like Red Dwarf meets From starring Harold Perrineau desperately trying to get miscellaneous Rimmers to cooperate to stay alive.

[Frank Smeghammer]

In all seriousness I personally think Red Dwarf really is over this time. I think Titan will be the last bit of official media and then it’s gone for good.

I know we’ve had lots of times before where we thought it was over and it came back with a wallop but I think this really is it now.

[Frank Smeghammer]

God only knows what audience BBC comedies are supposed to be attracting these days so I suppose there’s a chance

[Frank Smeghammer]

“Remember Red Dwarf? Remember “H”, the guy who had a ‘H’ on his forehead?”

[Frank Smeghammer]

I’m still not entirely convinced that the hatred of Timewave isn’t made up as some sort of practical joke. I had no idea anyone had much negative to say about it until seeing this forum lol. 
Entangled though, fuck me

Timewave hatred is no joke. There is absolutely nothing funny about Timewave, and thats the problem

[Frank Smeghammer]

I have a great liking for the word “ramscoop”. I don’t know why, it just sounds fun to say.

So definitely label up the ramscoop

[Frank Smeghammer]

Back To Life, Back to Reality

[Frank Smeghammer]

Deoxyribonucleic Acid

[Frank Smeghammer]

One of my favourite line deliveries in all of Red Dwarf

[Frank Smeghammer]

I really like Lemons and I really like Cured but the common thread they both have is you really have to ignore some major plot faults and nonsensical creative choices.

Basically you have to watch both of them with one eye closed, metaphorically speaking.

I tend to have no problem doing this with both of those episodes so I like them

[Frank Smeghammer]

I, for one, have had quite enough of Hitler references and cameos in RD. There must be other historical characters Doug can think of.

[Frank Smeghammer]

Fits the rhythm as well Dave. Excellent work

[Frank Smeghammer]

I mean, you say “derail”…..

[Frank Smeghammer]

Rimmer’s H appears to be actually tattooed on his head rather than being a flimsy looking prop glued to Chris Barrie’s head.
I know the way I’ve worded that sounds like it is an improvement but it most certainly isn’t.

It looks like one of those transfer tattoos you used to get on the odd issue of Sonic The Comic etc.

Please, let’s not derail another G&T thread into Sonic the Hedgehog talk

[Frank Smeghammer]

[Frank Smeghammer]

Rimmer’s H appears to be actually tattooed on his head rather than being a flimsy looking prop glued to Chris Barrie’s head.

I know the way I’ve worded that sounds like it is an improvement but it most certainly isn’t.

[Frank Smeghammer]

Krysis is absolutely horrendous shite, I’m sorry. It ends with them meeting the universe itself. Meeting the universe… The Universe.

They met “The Universe”.

And “The ACTUAL Universe” was having a midlife crisis

Give over with that toss.

[Frank Smeghammer]

It’s interesting because I really do think nothing outside of the Series I-VI “bubble” even gets close to the bubble except a few remnant moments of Series VII where shreds of the magic still pervade.

I like almost everything Dwarf, so not to say none of it was any good because lots and lots of it is good. But the bubble is perfect.

I realise that view is probably very much the “popular view” and it doesn’t really belong here. But I do sense it is an unpopular view on this site in particular (I say respectfully). I think it’s quite a “normie” view and not one shared by the more hardened Dwarfers who lurk here.

[Frank Smeghammer]

When you accept a hypnotherapy session from someone who wasn’t a full member of the National Council of Hypnotherapy

[Frank Smeghammer]

[Frank Smeghammer]

[Frank Smeghammer]

[Frank Smeghammer]

Looks like Butterball from Hellraiser

[Frank Smeghammer]

Don’t know if this is a mundane observation or just me being thick (or both)

I had always assumed that Cat referring to himself and dangerous and then singing “aowww dangerous!” was in reference to Michael Jackson.

I have just discovered that Red Dwarf Series 1 predates the song and album “Dangerous” by Michael Jackson

[Frank Smeghammer]

These administrative things have a way of making it all seem cynical and clinical. I mean “Termination of appointment of Robert Grant as a director” doesn’t really explain how that came about does it?

Not sure I like how it makes me feel but it isn’t my business. It’s solely Doug’s now, obviously. It was the case for many many years in a de-facto way until relatively recently, so it is how it is.

[Frank Smeghammer]

Apparently they got that guy from Coronation Street and Robot Wars to be in Red Dwarf but the smegger wouldn’t leave.

I think on a technicality, Craig Charles playing himself in Back to Earth makes him one of the most famous people to play a guest part in the show

[Frank Smeghammer]

I don’t think Doug ever intended for Lister and alt-Kochanski to have a romance until he wrote Back to Earth, at which point he wanted to bring the show full circle. 
Having alt-Kochanski evolve into Lister’s love interest also eliminates any awkward questions about bringing Clare Grogan back. 

I agree, maybe he didn’t intend for that. But in hindsight he should have done. He brought the character in with absolutely no idea where it was going, and then sort of book ended it with a character arc she didn’t have.

[Frank Smeghammer]

This is a big statement but one of the worst things about Series 7 & 8 is the inability to tell the love story between Lister and Kochanski.

Obviously, she loved “her Dave” and she’s stuck with this guy who looks and sounds like him, but is just missing some of the critical elements. Clearly she feels something for main universe Lister but she can’t quite ignore his flaws. She goes to great lengths to educate him in Beyond a Joke. To comfort him in Blue. To save him in Epideme and Nanarchy.

Yet, as Quinn says, there is supposed to be some surprise that she left. Well obviously she did, she hated your guts. Doug never bothered to develop the story as more complex than that.

[Frank Smeghammer]

[Author]

Replies