Phil

[Phil]

> God knows that Americans could do good for themselves by remembering that other countries exist too and not everybody is American.

I…

…

I mean…what?

Yes, that’s correct, and yet also idiotic. Explaining the joke would help a number of potential overseas viewers but would actively interfere with the enjoyment of the show’s actual primary audience in its home nation. (Or did I misunderstand all the bitching we’ve done about VIII and explaining jokes?)

I like British shows. British shows don’t bother to explain their holidays or unique social quirks when they refer to them (unless that explanation is itself the joke). Life goes on. I can complain that people making television shows in another country don’t care whether or not I understand a reference, or I can look it up and move on with my life.

[Phil]

We all feel terrible that we kept up our normal behaviors and didn’t try inserting our penises into a female’s avatar.

[Phil]

>i’m new, i only made an account about 8 months ago and nobody ever attacked me.

I’ll deal with you later!

[Phil]

And NOW I nominate this thread for Hall of Fame status.

[Phil]

Do we do the whole combine three separate people’s opinions into one thing here?

[Phil]

Step into my orifice.

[Phil]

I’m Ridley, and I’m the best…

…at being a big jerk who’s stupid and my big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!

[Phil]

I’m fine with “Kryten figured it out.” I’m not going to say it’s great writing on its own, but the episode is otherwise funny and interesting enough that I don’t mind. And I’m certainly not going to nitpick it because of that one line when the rest of the series is…y’know. What it is.

[Phil]

“i laughed more when reading the three separate opinions thread than i laughed for the entirety of Series VIII, though”

Ditto. It’s already one of a few threads I’ve reread just for the sake of laughing again. (Two others being the butter thread and Plots for Series XI.)

[Phil]

Everything involving Snacky is perfect and that is scientific fact.

[Phil]

Kryten: All systems check. The opinions of three separate people are combined into one as normal.

Jawscvmcdia: The four opinions! There’s four separate people!

[Phil]

-Do you know what happens when a dinosaur has eaten cow vindaloo, then eats two and a half tons of mint-choc ice cream, followed by…

-Oh god, it didn’t.

-It didn’t what, Lister?

-It didn’t combine three separate people’s opinions into one, did it?

[Phil]

See you in ten separate opinions?

[Phil]

I should note though that the synopsis for Krysis scared me, too, and that turned out great. So I’m a fucking idiot.

[Phil]

Five of them sure do. Mechocracy scares me.

[Phil]

I nominate this thread for three separate Halls of Fame status.

[Phil]

I got to meet all of you. Or were you looking for positive changes?

[Phil]

I hated BTE but enjoyed the Corrie bit, so I’m wrong on all counts.

[Phil]

I nominate the second half of this thread for Hall of Fame status.

[Phil]

“The main thing that gets me is that it’s 2017 and people are still using “jump the shark” as if it’s a phrase that has any meaning or relevance.”

The fact that they refer to Holly as omnipotent reveals to me that they have no interest in meaning.

[Phil]

I’d always heard die die Seneca, but I have no clue what the significance would be.

[Phil]

Finished my Tails run. I saved it for last because I kept hearing that Tails was “easy mode,” and I wanted to play the game properly before I went easy on myself. But I’d actually disagree!

I guess it depends on what someone means by “easy.” For instance, if they had most of their trouble with platforming, Tails would certainly help there. But I guess I didn’t because I struggled with him more than I did with Sonic or Knuckles, and died in places I never even took damage before. In fact, I died to the last boss for the first time ever!

I did collect all but one Chaos Emerald. The last bonus stage is hard as heck, as if you build up too much speed before catching the UFO it’s super easy to just fly off the track. I’ll get it…but I need a break.

Thank you for letting me know you can dip back into stages on your completed save file to farm for emeralds and medals. I honestly didn’t even think to try that!

[Phil]

“Butt” has the word “but” in it.

[Phil]

I’m looking forward to digging into Breath of the Wild, but I’m holding out until I get a Switch. Which probably won’t happen until they make a Mario Odyssey bundle, but I’m okay with that.

I haven’t been a fan of any Zelda since The Wind Waker (with the glorious exception of A Link Between Worlds, which is another throwback game MAKING IT RELEVANT TO THIS THREAD), so I admit I’m a bit skittish. But everyone seems to be enjoying it so far.

[Phil]

“This would also explain why the ship from series 9 onwards looking somewhat different to series 8.”

…ok.

[Phil]

Spinball my nipple nuts

[Phil]

“Favourite tracks?”

I don’t think there’s a stinker in the bunch! Again, slightly cheating because a number of the tracks are recycled, but the remixes we get for Zone 2 absolutely justify it.

My favorites are probably Mirage Saloon and Metallic Madness. The latter is super funky and so much fun. Press Garden and Studiopolis aren’t far behind.

I went into Mania not knowing which zones were included, so now that I’ve been through it a few times I can share my disappointment that we didn’t get a remix of Starlight Zone. :(

Also, secondary disappointment that there were no casino-themed zones.

“I’m incredibly frustrated that, at the age of 32, I am nowhere near as good at playing classic-style Sonic as I was at 7 and 8.”

I had my version of this disappointment in 2008 when Mega Man 9 came out.

[Phil]

Finished my Knuckles run. Additional thoughts:

1) Got four Chaos Emeralds! But…frankly, I don’t know how I’ll ever get all eight without using Knuckles. I feel as though the giant rings I found were almost exclusively due to my ability to explore with him.

2) I don’t think I’m a fan of how the blue sphere levels are implemented. You don’t need many rings to activate them at goal posts (25?) meaning I keep going into the blue sphere sequences frequently, breaking the actual flow of the levels. Every minute or so, I feel like I’m in a blue sphere level, and that’s just too much. Yes, I know I can choose not to visit them…but I do need those medals, so…why not? Either I’m breaking the flow too often, or I’m abandoning a chance to get a medal I need. Neither is ideal.

3) The Oil Ocean boss stinks. Mainly it’s the glitchy deaths that get to me, but the main issue is just how long it remains invulnerable. The cycles between opportunities to hit it are way too long. You wait, then you avoid the spiky tail thing, then you wait, then you avoid three very slow lasers, then you wait, then the boss appears. It’s a lot of waiting. I know you are jumping around to avoid the other hazards, but they’re not difficult…they’re just time consuming. Considering you essentially need to avoid both turrets or whatever they are before you can even attack the boss directly, that’s a fight that’s far too long and dull for my tastes. Oh, and the game may glitch and kill you for no reason and you’ll have to do all that fighting and waiting again. B-)

4) Speaking of glitches, this is the first time my game softlocked. I’d heard about it before, but it finally happened. No idea why. I was just playing a level, the music stopped (though I could keep playing) and then it finally just crashed and I had to reboot my console. Also, I went out of bounds and died at least twice, just by playing the game normally. I’ve heard you can get out of bounds easily with Knuckles, but I wasn’t even trying to. It just happens. I have faith Sega will patch this stuff, though.

5) The game is truly awesome. I really love how every level integrates major speed segments. As Dave mentions above, Sonic’s always had a bit of a split personality when it comes to speed: it’s all about speed / no it isn’t. This game provides both experiences in what I think is a really natural and rewarding way. There are plenty of games I’ve played through three times, but very few of them I’ve played through three times so close to release.

Next is a Tails run. I’m not even a huge Sonic fan, and I’m loving this game. It’s great. And that soundtrack is almost obnoxiously good.
5)

[Phil]

“There’s a whole world of potential in a properly realised 3D Sonic game. Look at Mario 64, Nintendo got that right on the first go.”

As Dave said above, though, that’s the major difference. Nintendo did just fine translating its franchises to the third dimension, Mario chief among them. Sonic has yet* to be translated successfully, even now, several generations after 3D levels have become the norm for game design.

They “go backwards” (if I understand your meaning properly) because they’ve tried a dozen or so times to go forward and keep meeting with popular and critical failure. When they go backwards — as they did here, in Sonic 4, and partially in Generations — the critics and public make it very clear that that’s where they should spend their time.

And in fairness to Sonic (which largely doesn’t deserve fairness, I admit), they’ve tried going forward more often than they’ve tried going back. It’s just that only one direction seems to work for them.

—
* I’m by no means a Sonic completionist, so I’m speaking from the general sense of dismay that surrounds Sonic’s 3D outings. I haven’t played most of them, but the overall reception of those games is clearly pretty dire. Personally, though, I can say that I really liked Sonic Lost World, and I genuinely think it gets dismissed because people assume it’s as bad as most Sonic 3D games are.

[Phil]

Yes, but the thing is, about Backwards…the thing you have to remember about Backwards…

Backwards…

If you don’t like Backwards, you’re a prat.

[Phil]

Jane Horrocks for me, but that might be cheating. I already had a crush on her from Absolutely Fabulous by the time I saw her in Red Dwarf.

Rimmer’s Camille was also pretty adorable to me.

Basically I have a fetish for holograms.

[Phil]

Ahh, that makes sense. My first time through, I actually ran out the clock…which shocked me because I forgot it was possible to die that way. The second time I figured it was just some kind of big maze, so I sprinted around and eventually made it through. It didn’t occur to me that it was actually a series of four smaller mazes that each needed to be completed. Thank you. That helps a lot!

[Phil]

“parts of Titanic Monarch (but even then I got through it at a first attempt, once you work out the gimmicks)”

I’ve finished the game twice and I still don’t think I worked out the gimmick! I just seem to amble around in circles, especially toward the end of Act 2, and then finally a big portal opens and I can go to the boss. I honestly don’t know how to trigger the portal…it just eventually seems to happen.

The Oil Ocean boss is weird, and I wondered if something was glitched. Every so often I’d just die for no reason, usually during or after the platforms were sinking into the oil. I’d just be hopping around down there and die, without anything (as far as I can tell) there to kill me. Maybe it’s a collision issue, or maybe something was hitting me from below, but there didn’t seem to be any indication of what was killing me. A little frustrating, but not bad.

Doing a run through with Knuckles now, and man, it’s so much easier to find those huge rings that lead to the special stages. I have three chaos emeralds! Two more than I’d gotten on my previous runs!

[Phil]

It’s super good, but the difficulty complaints are kind of surprising to me! I struggled my way through Sonic 1, 2, and 3 at various points in my life, but didn’t have any issues with this one until the final zone.

And, to be honest, the final zone felt like a massive load of BS after the graceful level designs that preceded it, but maybe I’ll change my mind on a replay.

Also, I know folks have (probably rightly) grumbled that so many zones were reused from previous games, but I honestly didn’t mind. I haven’t played the previous games enough times to remember layouts or anything, so it didn’t affect me at all. Outside of Green Hill and Chemical Plant, I barely remembered anything about the originals.

I really enjoyed this one.

[Phil]

It always bothers me for some strange reason that Kryten refers to him as “Rimmer” in that exchange and not “Mr. Rimmer.”

[Phil]

“Bearing in mind that the show ended with Brittas having dreamed up the whole thing, it would be interesting to see how the new one would begin…”

He fell back asleep.

[Phil]

I have no mammary of this.

[Phil]

Family Guy is the laziest lump of shit on television. Which, obviously, is saying something.

It wasn’t always, but American Dad is the only thing of his that I’ve truly enjoyed and felt impressed by. It’s also probably the thing with the smallest amount of involvement from him, which may be why.

My problem with him isn’t that he’s untalented (he’s not), unfunny (he’s not), or unlikable (he’s not). My problem is just that everything else his name is on feels lazy. It’s the product of someone (or a team of someones) who doesn’t (or don’t…) care about anything but ticking the same boxes over and over again.

For someone who doesn’t like him, I think I’m relatively well-versed in his output, as his shows always aired around other things I wanted to watch. I’ve given this stuff more of a chance to resonate with me than I really should have. And, man, his shows have had some inspired gags, but they’re couched in material that ranges from pointless to appalling.

All of this is to say that I’m confident The Orville won’t interfere with my treating American Dad as the lone exception.

[Phil]

I just saw this on Facebook. Since he was active here I thought maybe folks would want to know. My thoughts are with his family for sure. I never met him but we spoke a few times — including once about a cool project that never got off the ground — and he seemed like a really great guy. Pretty sad.

—–

Hello Friends and Family,
It saddens me beyond words to share with you the passing of my dear brother Paul Giachetti.
Our family is devastated.
Paul truly defined what life was about.
His kindness, good nature, generosity, and humor will live on with those who knew him.

Arrangements are as follows:
Monday, August 7
-Wake
2:00pm – 4:00pm
7:00pm – 9:00pm
Massapequa Funeral Home
1050 Park Blvd, Massapequa Park, NY 11762

Tuesday, August 8
-Mass
10:00am
St. Rose of Lima Church
2 Bayview Ave, Massapequa, NY 11758

-Funeral
11:30am
St. Charles Cemetery
2015 Wellwood Ave, Farmingdale, NY 11735

There will be photo boards if you would like to share your memories. Please put your name and address on the back of the photo so we can mail it back to you.

In lieu of flowers our family is asking you to make a donation to a charity of your choosing. We can’t think of a better way to honor Paul and his generosity towards others.

[Phil]

I used to write for the site, so allow me to burgle this from someone else who used to write for the site!
http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2013/08/noise-to-signal-a-brief-retrospective/

(That’s John, who also managed it and did a huge amount of backend stuff and collapsed daily from the migraines we gave him.)

That’s a nice read in itself, but it also links to the sites the individual contributors have set up since the closure of NTS. Mine is noiselesschatter.com. I don’t review Doctor Who, so your specific request is better filled elsewhere, but I do review Better Call Saul, The Venture Bros., ALF, and a bunch of other things.

I hope the above URL (John’s) helps!

[Phil]

“It’s always the bloody Confederacy. How about a timeline where the American Revolution was crushed?”

I think the answer is that the scars of the Civil War are still visible here, as odd as that probably sounds. Confederate flags hang, monuments to Confederate soldiers are all over the south, and the serious issues we have with race are still (terribly) prevalent.

So “What if the South won?” is a question that’s not as far from our minds as “What if the British won?”

We don’t have Union Jacks hanging anywhere apart from tea shops, we don’t have any monuments to British soldiers (well, technically our soldiers WERE British but you get the picture), and I don’t think there’s any true lingering resentment against British people at all.

While the question of the Revolutionary War turning the other way would certainly lead to interesting stories, it’s also much further from the cultural consciousness here than the Civil War. Honestly I can’t think of many shows that explored the Revolutionary War in that way. An episode of Futurama is all that comes to mind, and they had their fun with the Civil War as well.

[Phil]

I realize this is to John but I also realize you posted it in a public forum so fuck it.

From my seat on the sidelines, it didn’t look at all like the problem was the fact that you made “crass and unfunny comments.” The problem was that you were called out on it, repeatedly, and instead of backing down you hammered on them even more strongly, making it clear that you felt that anyone who didn’t like them was in the wrong.

You were told to stop by multiple mods. Instead you took the same shitty attitude into other threads, actively and knowingly ruining them.

At some point you created an alt account — this one — and kept up exactly the same behavior.

Trust me. I know how it feels to say some dumbass thing you’re embarrassed of and that you can’t take back. But since the times you do pop back up see you being a cunt all over again, I’m not really surprised you feel as though your opinion isn’t welcome. (For the record, I’m not saying it ISN’T welcome…but rather that it’s pretty clear where your adversarial feelings are coming from. They’re coming from you, jackass.)

I didn’t even follow the whole saga but I’ve seen multiple apologies from you, none of which have been followed by any kind of change in behavior.

I’d imagine if you didn’t behave like an asshole, people wouldn’t treat you like one, and that might be your way forward.

But, hey, what do I know.

[Phil]

You know, you can always *start* that social media group.

[Phil]

All kidding aside, you really are a pretty massive dick.

[Phil]

Interesting. I hadn’t seen these before. My bad.

[Phil]

Enjoy my hideous link.

[Phil]

He’s referring to Archie. The giveaway is in everything he said.

[Phil]

I’ve wondered which single thing (film, TV show, book, etc.) has been directly referenced/homaged/mined for ideas by Red Dwarf the most. For a while I assumed it was the Alien franchise. Now I’m pretty sure it’s the Bible. But I probably won’t ever take the time to count so I’ll never know for sure. :(

[Phil]

Also, I heard that they don’t even film this show in space. It’s really pathetic all around.

[Phil]

“Rimmer’s entire head was cropped off.”

All in all, a 100% successful edit.

[Author]

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