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Ohh, that’s epic! This should be the new theme for the Dwarfcasts.

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It’s true. Ask Cate Blanchett.

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Yeah, while everyone else in the commentary and documentary is gushing about how great VIII is, it’s good to have one voice that’s negative. Makes me feel less ALONE.

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Well the problem with that is it’s redundant, as you’re in the cinema as you watch it, effectively listening to two audiences laughing at once. Of course, while a film has an audience, it doesn’t have comedy and timing based on that audience’s reactions, but if you want that in a movie-like experience, there’s theatre.

I always thought it’d be cool to see animation done with a studio audience. You could show the cartoon to them with all the animation done aside from lip sync (Maybe mouth flaps or a very rough cut), and all the sound mix aside from voices. Then get the voice actors to perform it live as the cartoon plays, pausing the video whenever there’s a woofer, or they want to improvise or milk the gags. Then slap it on, do the lip sync last, and you’ve got an animated sitcom.

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I thought it was miles better than last year’s Christmas special. Though that’s not saying much; having a cactus shoved up your arse would be miles better than last year’s Christmas special.

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Merry Christmas, cunts!

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Book: I, Partridge. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.

Album: Not much of a music person.

Film: Paul. Went into it thinking “Oh god, Seth Rogen as a CGI alien doing fart jokes” and was totally gobsmacked at how brilliant it was.

Video Game: Banjo-Tooie, the game I’d been dying to play since childhood, which is now my favourite 3D platformer ever.

Other Business: Arrested Development. I’ve made a huge mistake…by leaving it this long before watching.

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I think you made a few peoples’ hearts stop, there.

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FUCK!

This is why I should skip lectures more often.

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Danny! Doug! Robert! …Who’s that standing behind Bobby? Howard Burden?

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“Worst uk sitcom” gives me Miranda rather than Red Dwarf. Either way, it’s not true.

And sometimes I get here by searching for “Iain lee cunt”, it’s easier to type.

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I reckon we can keep it under control; although one mod would have to take one for the team, he could then delete any spoilery information that crops up, or move it to a hidden topic.

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>Well, Series X is supposed to be set before Back To Earth.

By that logic, we’re in for an awesome series, best series by miles.

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You could try Epideme if lullabys aren’t working…

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The Red Dwarf. Sounds like what the gritty reboot of the series would be called.

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Yeah, it’s gone very quiet because it’s been long enough since the last Red Dwarf episodes that our hope for more has started waning, but not long enough that we’ve started missing it. Within another year we’ll be back to drooling over Official Red Dwarf Coasters, endorsed by Norman Lovett.

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Yeah, old adventure games have loads of those. Thankfully nowadays designers like Telltale try to avoid it.

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“By the way, the voice actress wasn’t given the right context for that line, and by the time we found out, she was in the taxi already. Total waste of 30 quid, she sounds like she’s being touched on a bus.”

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The first level of Donkey Kong Land 3 is called Red Wharf.

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> And the camera could have used some tweaking (or at least a freer manual override).

This is where my problem with the controls lies. In Mario 64 you can move the camera around a little bit, but it’s still a bit stiff. In Sunshine you can move it around as much as you like. In Galaxy you have literally no control over the camera, which darts around all over the place as it pleases. This + camera-relative control + being able to walk on the walls and ceiling = clusterfuck.

I’ll admit that Sunshine isn’t perfect (the second half of the game is a bit dull and the final “level” and “boss” “fight” is a disgrace) but every time I play it it sucks me in just like the 2D games do. But whenever I get Galaxy out I simply do not want to play it. I have to force myself into it, and I occasionally enjoy bits here and there, but on the whole it just doesn’t interest me.

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Super Mario Sunshine gets a lot of flak, and I don’t think it’s fair. It’s the only Mario game that dared to do something different and creative with the series since…well…ever, and I prefer it to the extremely dull, unoriginal and impossible to control monstrosity that is Galaxy any day.

>>>Super Mario World is better than Mario Bros 3, anyway.
>>Word. Probably my favorite 2D platformer ever.

>I present to you Donkey Kong Country.

I’m not sure if Donkey Kong Country is better than Super Mario World. Donkey Kong Country 2, on the other hand, is an absolute masterpiece. I don’t think any 2D platformer can top it.

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Maybe I should start a club for people who Norman Lovett has moaned at online…

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Magnificent.

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I reckon Shane G is…Andrew Ellard, testing us to see how we’d react to him getting slagged off.

“Oh yeah, I remember it well. Shane G says I’m a bad writer. You jump immediately to my defence saying ‘Really? That explains everything!'”

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Yeah, basically everyone’s said they want either Hattie or Bill Bailey.

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Just finished the game. Being a bit of a voice actor nerd, seeing Rob Paulsen, Denny Delk and Roger L. Jackson in the credits made me feel a little bit giddy.

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Which DVD is YEAH NO YEAH THE MOVIE on? I’ve never seen or heard of that one before.

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I must track down Simon the Sorcerer. I’ve always been an adventure game fan since I was little and I’ve been a RD fan for years, but I never knew about Chris Barrie being in it until recently.

I love the growth of Guybrush’s character. In MI1 he’s ambitious, enthusiastic and somewhat clumsy, in MI2 he’s become really full of himself, which makes him even more prone to mistakes, causing Elaine to abandon him, in MI3 he’s been brought down to earth by his mistakes and his losses, and becomes more sensitive, and in MI4 he becomes child-like and goofy because his life is perfect, he’s finally proved himself and married his dream girl. I still haven’t gotten the cash together to buy Tales, but I’m looking forward to seeing how his character has progressed…

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“I wanna be a pirate.”

…

“Yikes! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

Yeah, it can be quite jarring at times. One bit that made me wince was the repetition of “I do so!” “You do not!” when you speak to Captain Smirk. It’s really obvious that they’ve used the same take twice.

However, I do really like that Guybrush has two different versions of his insult comebacks depending on whether you chose the right one or not.

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I’ve played it on PC up to near the end of Chapter Three. I’m definitely not as negative as a lot of people have been about this, as I absolutely love the way it’s been made. Basically no changes, no removals, just an upgrade to the graphics and sound, with an option to switch to the original game at any time if you’re not satisfied, which reminds me of Tikka Remastered. This is how all remakes should be. The more creative changes you make, the worse it gets. Pokemon Fire Red and Leaf Green, for example, are basically the same as the originals but with extra locations and features that are completely optional. Compare them to Tomb Raider: Anniversary, which mercilessly hacks away at the charm and atmosphere that made the original game so legendary, cuts the length and difficulty to half of what it once was and replaces all the interesting and likeable characters with badly-designed stereotypes.

However, it’s not all poifect. I’m afraid I’ll have to side with Ben on the dodgy controls front. They’re worse than the controls in Escape From Monkey Island IMO. If they’d just included an option to show the interface on the upgraded version of the game it’d be fine.

The voice acting I have no problems with, and I’m shocked at the amount of people they managed to get back from 10 or so years ago. The graphics, however, have a couple of flaws. While I have no problems with the style, there are occasionally a couple of pixelated bits from the original game’s art showing on the backgrounds and it looks really ugly. Why didn’t they just blur or paint over those bits?

Another problem I had is the lack of animation in the backdrops. On Melee Island water doesn’t move in the original, but does in the remake. On Monkey Island the flowing water in the river does move in the original game, but…doesn’t in the remake. Why not?

Despite its flaws, I adore the art direction. The effects are amazing and LeChuck has never looked better. The lava caverns under Monkey Island are probably the best looking part of the game. Roll on LeChuck’s Revenge!

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I’m Shane G and so’s my wife!

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Oooh, another Donkey Kong Country fan. I honestly think the bramble music is the best piece of videogame music ever written. :D

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Wow, very very good. Leaps and bounds ahead of the attempt I made at a Red Dwarf animation. :p I can’t wait to see the finished product! (and can do voice acting if you’re interested. I’ve got a high-ish quality mic)

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I think Back to Earth has done a similar thing to the Tomb Raider film – the fans of the series loved it so much they made forums dedicated to Angelina Jolie’s bowel movements, but critics thought it was terrible. Since Chris Barrie was in both of them, maybe he has something to do with it.

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I’ll have to give myself a prrromotion!

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Wow, could this mean Gallifrey is coming back? I hope so, I think they’ve wrung the “last-of-his-kind” thing dry now…

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It works well, feels like a proper movie trailer. Well done.

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Nice. :D It’d be more traditional if it had Lister and Rimmer on the cover instead, mind.

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Well, all of the Series III episodes, really. Off the top of my head:

“Now then, gentlemen! Thanks for your support!” – Rimmer, Backwards
“This is a scalpel!” – Cat, Polymorph

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Just bumping up this old topic to point this out: I prefer the Remastered laugh track for Series III, because in the original there’s a really annoying male voice with a loud, obnoxious laugh: “TUH HUH HUH HUH!!!!” And then he’s occasionally too early. Exhibit A: “This is a sca-” “TUHUHUHUHUHUH!!!!” In Remastered he appears to have been edited out, thank Christ.

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I didn’t mind Hattie getting her vag out, mind…

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Paul Alexander

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Match the Body Part to the Crew Member!

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Come to think of it, a Lost Vikings clone could work too. You’d have to use each character’s personal abilities to complete each level, i.e. Cat being able to jump and swipe at enemies, Rimmer with a holowhip which he can use to attack and grab onto things, Lister with “boost-shoes” nicked from Petersen’s locker that enable him to jump high and run fast, and the ability to swim (Kryten and Rimmer’s electronics would break down and “cats don’t like water, man!”) and Kryten would be able to break down walls, carry heavy objects and operate machines and things. And Kochanski could…oh, I dunno. Give her a plot device that enables her to fly or shrink or something.

I also kind of like the idea of each episode having a minigame. Red Dwarf Party, anyone?

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It’s amazing the trouble they go to for the DVDs. I was expecting a Just The Shows-type thing for this one. Having it all in CGI like the I-VIII DVDs is brilliant.

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I can’t believe that Red Dwarf episodes are now basically just Youtube Poop-style remixes. Don’t get me wrong, I laughed at “It’s my BAGEL. My BAGEL as a complete and utter KOOPA FOOTBALL PLAYER.” and the bit where they just showed Kryten falling over and over again while a clip of Dr Robotnik shouting “PINGAS” played, but it’s a bit cheap. Plus I know that some people find the particular style of humour immature, and it certainly won’t help the show’s “lol smeg curry lager” image.

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Lovely stuff.

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Ah, that’s a good idea.

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I’ve never heard his Bobby impression before, and it’s great. Not as hilarious as his Danny, mind.

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Try the rest of Season Two – Moai Better Blues is admittedly rather dull, but Night of the Raving Dead is hilarious, Chariots of the Dogs is one of the best time-travel plots I’ve ever experienced and What’s New Beezlebub is chock-full of great continuity porn.

Can I say I love MI4? Okay, I’ll admit the controls are an abomination, but it makes me laugh. Now I know how John feels about Series VIII: It’s far from perfect, but it’s still funny. Note that I don’t feel that way about Series VIII. :O

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