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It seemed like all their memories from before the unreality bubbles were still correct. Hence why they were shocked by having animal heads, instead of just going “oh just another lovely day on starelk”

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I sound like a sarcastic, passive-aggressive prick here, don’t I? Strange, it’s pretty much the only time in my life I wasn’t trying to be. That’s what I get for being autistic, I guess.

Anyways, I’m back at this thread again because I was here to recommend these to another person. So much better than the rest of the shit that’s anywhere else.

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I had different explanations to pretty much all of those.

– It’s a combination of Kryten being somewhat newer and rounding.

– He had so much time on his hands that he probably redid himself to be less eerily human. If that’s your main flaw, and you’ve got three million years, surely you could take a break from all the art and wallpapering and discovery and general pissing about and fix the one main problem with yourself?

– It’s undisclosed. Doesn’t mean it was that long. We saw Dwarf pass, what, three planets? Could have been days. They just went into stasis because Kryten was already becoming destructive and they didn’t want him fucking up the ship and starving everybody by only bringing them plastic cloches at mealtimes.

– It’s not our universe.

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*headcanonate

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We’ve discussed all of those. I’ll explain them if you like, but I haven’t got the time now.

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Ah. So it’s a fancy fandom fuckery word for an explanation. Thanks for the link.

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STILL CRAZY?

Cat wonders whether Kill Crazy is frozen in time like the rest of everyone

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STILL CRAZY!

Kill Crazy becomes obsessed with pausing video and paintings of fruit.

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STILL CRAZY

The psychiatrist verifies that Kill Crazy is still crazy

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I really like that explanation.

The fuck is a headcanon?

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BA-LAN-CE OF POWER:

Lister is annoyed by Rimmer having more lanyards and shoving it in hos face all the time, so he gets a bunch of chef lanyards, except he lied about it.

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actually, yes.

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BODYSWAMP:

Oh, so that’s what you really did with all your little catty friends.

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MULEDEEROONED:

Lister crashes Starbug into a planet full of mule deer. There’s no food, but he doesn’t want to shoot one. Instead, he decides to eat his own cock, which is large enough to last him a full month. Thankfully, the others get there to rescue him before he does.

By the way, this one Sunday afternoon we were eating lunch and all of a sudden there were like twenty fucking fucking mule deer out on the back lawn. That’s the kind of place I live.

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WHITETAILING FOR GOD:

Rimmer skips to an alternate dimension where instead of a cat Lister brought on board a white-tailed deer. There’s a whole bunch of them. They all worship Lister. Rimmer skips out.

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Because their name appears under the thread title on the forum index.

Thanks, but I clicked on it from the right side. I haven’t looked at the forum index in months.

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I knew this was going to be a jaw scurvy mcdonalds thread before I even clicked it. How did I know it was going to be juice cuvette amygdala?

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FUTURE ELKOES:

Despite the fact that it’s only spring, Lister catches glimpses of many elk bugling about the ship, a phenomenon which typically occurs in the autumn. Lister is confused about why this is happening, until Holly explains that they’re actually glimpses into the future called ‘future elkoes’. Meanwhile, why the fuck are elk going to be on Red Dwarf in six months?

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THE ‘YAS’ DAY

It’s like Parallel Universe, but the women are stereotypically female instead of stereotypically male.

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I would resist the urge to be a twat if this weren’t a Jawscvmcdia thread.

However, I must point out that you meant whose, not who’s.

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You see, it’s like the Pearl Poll, but the other way ’round.

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What do you mean, you Lis-ed him, Cra Cra Cha?

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MECHCATCRACY:

When Cat is still a mechanoid, he takes over the entire goddamn ship.

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i think they should add a portable walrus polishing kit to the shop!!!!!1

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I’d like an edit button. lol xd

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I never have trouble remembering how to do it, often I just won’t when I can avoid it since I’m usually posting from my phone, where it’s incredibly tedious.

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THE INQUISITOR PART TWO:

Red Dwarf is visited by an immortal simulant who, after millions of years alone, finally reaches the conclusion that there is no god, no afterlife, and the only purpose of existence is to shit all over the place.

This means that Lister doesn’t die, Kryten doesn’t die as he assisted Lister in doing this, Cat doesn’t die because he once ran across the entire ship with fresh shit on his bum, and Rimmer gets Holly to quickly make him holoshit everywhere, so he lives. The Inquisitor Part Two apologizes for taking their time, makes them forget he was ever there, and moves on with his day.

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A make-your-own Kryten head kit

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TANKYMEDE & TITAN

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What if your mind got your dick and the elastic on athletic shorts mixed up so instead of getting a boner your waistband got bigger and your shorts fell off instead of your waistband getting bigger but your shorts staying on?

Please do not permit me to think when I should have

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There’s no such things as ramscopes and anti-mater.

What’s the point of Cars 2 then?

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She wears short shorts, I wear t-shorts, she’s shorts captain and I’m on the bleached-shorts,

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KYLOMORPH II: EMOFUCK

Kylo Ren throws a tantrum all over the place.

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I like them.

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So what’s everyone’s opinion on shorts?

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BACK IN THE REDTUBE:

Lister rediscovers a website whivh allows you to get YouTube Red for free.

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So why did people hate The Last Jedi? I absolutely adored it.

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Alright, let’s keep it up, I’ve got a good one ready once we’ve hit 6000.

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I was talking to someone recently and tthey were telling me they’d just put a “proper cover” on Back to Earth, and I asked what cover, and they sent me the link to this one. I don’t know that you need more proof of how good it is.

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KHAN: “PHI, DENTS, UH, PEAR, UH, NO, YEAH”

The boys run into Genghis Khan struggling to remember the word for that one softish fruit, but was it an accident?

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KNIGHT, HOLE

lister tells everyone rimmer’s dead because a knight escaped from the ar and killed him. a few weeks later kryten hasn’t seen cat for a few days and lister says didn’t you hear? knight got out the ar again and killed him. kryten makes a run for it in a blue midget. he is just clearing the cargo bay doors when lister appears behind him dressed as a knight and throttles him to death. lister turns round to see his demon self swagger out a cupboard with his remote control, laughing in that obnoxious high pitch squeak. then he falls down a hole

Where did he find that Blue Midget, exactly?l

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DEAR DAVE:

You are wrong. I’m not going home after 1000 ideas. I’m not going home after 10000 ideas. I’m not going home after 1000000 ideas. I’m not going home until we’ve shared every single idea for an episode.

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ΑΨΨΙΔΕΝΤ:

Ι’ωε σςιτψηεδ το τηε Γρεεκ κευβοαρδ ον μυ πηονε, βθτ ςασ ιτ αν αψψιδεντ?

Υεσ, αψτθαλλυ. Τθρνινγ ιτ οφφ νος. Οοπσιε.

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SINNERWORLD:

God makes it rain for 40 days and 40 nights, but was it an accident?

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STATING ‘FORGOT’:

Kryten keeps failing to do tasks, and when asked why, he just says that he forgot, but was it an accident?

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ONLY THE ‘HOOD…:

Lister finds a time machine which he uses to return to his childhood neighborhood and murder all the children in it, but was it an accident?

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Personally, I was so annoyed by both the main cover and the lack of a flipside on the US release that I just still haven’t bothered to get a DVD.

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BENEDICT:

Kryten is writing a book on how best to cook chicken ovulations. In every paragraph, the first line is moved over an inch, but was it an eggs indent?

Meanwhile, Rimmer grows a patch of cucumbers.

Meanwhile, Cat bumps into an old pope.

Meanwhile, Lister says, “May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord be kind and gracious to you, may the Lord look upon you with favor and give you deep and abiding peace both this day and forever more, Alleluia, Amen.”

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THE LAST JEDI DAY:

Hudzen blasts the crew out into space, so they all turn into Peter Pan. Meanwhile, the projection of Rimmer’s dad kills everyone, bu

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STAR KNOT:

Rimmer skips to a dimension where Warden Knot is performing at Red Dwarf’s karaoke bar and is actually quite good at it, so Rimmer hurls him into the Sun, but was it an accident? Don’t worry, he’s back in the next episode and beats Rimmer up.

[Author]

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