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In keeping with the theme, Chris Barrie’s website hasn’t been updated since he wished everyone a happy new year. For 2021.

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TIMEWAVE

A ‘timewave’ phenomenon washes forward a ‘homophobia squid’, a mutated giant squid whose ink makes you experience hallucinations that make you hate gay people

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Just clicked on there and seen people bashing Seb.

Got a source?

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THE PROMISED HAND

Lister bets his hand against some GELFs in a game of poker and loses. He returns to Red Dwarf, panicked, and Kryten helps him remove his hand safely so that they can bring it back to to the GELFs. When they turn back up, the GELFs, are confused, as all they thought he meant was that he was going to give back his hand of cards and not steal them, meaning he never had to cut off his hand and went through undue panic and pain in order to bring them a prize that they weren’t e

*Lister falls into a hole and gets the hatch closed over him*

IT’S COLD OUTSIDE

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yeah

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Theory: all the Franks are the same person. You never see them in the same room, do you?

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Let’s get Rob Grant writing his own Red Dwarf IX.

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Been playing a lot of Splatoon 2. I also had a Ticket to Ride tournament with my family and some of our friends this weekend where we tried out my new United Kingdom/Pennsylvania board.

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He was vacuuming up Lister’s cum from the shower drain

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Rimmer also revives Nirvana Crane’s hologram by resigning from the holoship, which is a rather sweet thing to do. Not heroic maybe, but if he hadn’t, she would have spent the rest of eternity turned off

To be fair, with Rimmer gone, she was never turned on quite the same for the rest of eternity either.

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EGO FLIPPER

Snacky is the subject of an episode of Queer Eye.

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EGGO FLIPPER

Snacky branches out from his two disciplines of snack dispensing and engineering to take up flipping frozen waffles.

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If there are just two people on each of A through Z shift, then that makes for 52 technicians, or around 30% of the crew, right? Are cheap JMC ships just the minimum wage fast food jobs of the future?

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Perhaps, due to the strange quantum nature of the device, the Rimmer from every universe Rimmer visited had also left on their own skipping journey, they were all headed around in a cycle, and the true recharge time was just once enough of them had hit the button. It would also explain why people got less and less shocked to see him appear.

To summarize: Rimmer skipped in right where another had just skipped out, hence they all knew he wasn’t theirs, why he was there, and weren’t worried (so long as they’d witnessed the event – also why he’s not recognized as different on the first classic set)

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I mean, to be fair, it’s just said that M-Corp owned Earth, not that that was the downfall of Earth, right? It could have been just a period of history where they eventually fought back and won their freedom after many brave souls gave their lives to the think tax trying to figure out how to defeat them.

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It’s been said before, but the idea that he’d go “y’know what, I’d rather be stuck in deep space with three people, one of whom I don’t particularly like, than actually try finding the human race again” is just madness.

Even if he does somewhat want to go back, he doesn’t really belong there anymore, wouldn’t fit in, and just plain isn’t ready as a person.

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Zapped Dwarf

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I think Dave knows he could go back, and started by denying but is slowly learning that his old Earth is neither the place he belongs nor the place he wamts to be anymore. And if that doesn’t bring the loneliness thread full circle, I don’t know what will.

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Ah, yes, the bags of burnt paper I regularly keep on my person.

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It’s like people calling any good film “pornography”.

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Super excited for Spunkjar – Emohawk III: Can of Worms 2, Polymorph Four. That one looks to be a real blast.

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I’m not too sure about this “Lifter” episode. I mean, I guess they can save some money by not having to pay Craig Charles by having Lister mysteriously become an elevator for an episode, but it just seems a little forced.

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The opening Samsara sequence is always utterly haunting. Before you disagree with me on this, I suggest you go back and watch it – I always think I’m going to be underwhelmed and never am. The only disappointing bit is that starfield flickering.

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FUCK YOU

The entire Red Dwarf crew come back in time to harass whoever it was that had the brilliant idea to bump the “Idea for an episode” thread off the front page of a Red Dwarf fansite.

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Surely he could suck it out himself?

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Did anybody else notice the major typo in the first episode?

You know, the one where they misspelled “RED DWARF” as “REED DARF” on the side of the model?

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He’s using a common saying.

“Please explain to me why Lister was the only person who survived the accident, but don’t give me any of this ‘he was in stasis and everybody else was in the path of the radiation leak’ smeg.”

Unless you were making fun of this thread, in which case, well played.

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Ah, yes, alternate Kryten.

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I’d say the opposite, actually. If it was his first jump, it would be “I don’t think I can go back” since he hadn’t tested such a theory for certain.

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Well Ace can surely jump through time to go right from fighting Nazisto three million years in the future, so I think it’s safe to say it’s more than 200 years of Aces.

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I mean, maybe what took Ace so long in that shed was fixing a normal bike up to be rocket-powered. Wouldn’t be surprised.

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If the elation squid has been in the water tank for so long, have the crew been hallucinating since shortly after, or even during Back to Reality?

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Stirmaster.

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They could possibly also have it be in character, like Can’t Smeg Won’t Smeg.

Smegmaster?

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The bodies could have blown around some afterwards.

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Which forum member has the biggest dick? I bet it’s either Seb, Better Dead Than Smeg, or Jawscvmcdia.

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STASIS TIKK

Rimmer goes back in time to try to convince himself to go into stasis, but instead ends up inadvertently convincing JFK to go into stasis instead. Also, Lister meets a future version of himself who has married JFK.

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I got the Bodyswap banner again.

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I am much more fine with people calling Back to Earth the ninth series than “series IX”, one is a debatably correct trait and the other is an incorrect name.

I typically can’t stand people who claim that “modern Red Dwarf is just a parody of itself”, but it makes me angry that I have to concede that if I were making a parody of Red Dwarf, especially modern Red Dwarf, it would probably look quite a bit like Timewave.

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It’s going to be John Hoare.

John Hoare makes me irrationally angry.

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Timewave, and the IX thing. And [insert random G&T admin or former admin that I’d like to insult tonight here].

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The Inbetweeners, The 10%ers, Fawlty Towers, etc.

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Can you make anything into a British sitcom by simply putting “-ers” onto the end of some phrase?

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TIMEACHE

Ziggy’s bum hurts from last night

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What’s an iguana?

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I’m so confused that I’m using already twice.

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formally BBC Worldwide

As this is G&T, and I’m already confused enough already, I have to ask if you meant to say formerly.

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An iguana.

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Are mechanoids explicitly synthetic organic brains? Perhaps they were humans whose bodies were captured, minds were stolen, and were put into bodies to have all their processing power devoted to calculation in a torturous manner, while entirely synthetic parts did all the programmed stuff.

Also, certainly scanning/reading somebody’s mind is a simpler task than altering it (as in this case), no?

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