Kris 'Drivaaar' Carter

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Series 5 and 6 were the fuckin’ BOMB as far as Kryten masks went. Both were quite different, but both got it right, to my mind. The perfect mix of angles, expressiveness and general look.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Gah it fills me with conflicted emotions, this costume.

In person, it looks rubbish. It’s all one light gray colour, the torso looks really over-large around the midriff, which is bizarre because Robert is not fat….

On camera, for the most part, it looks pretty good…

In this picture, it looks great.

Gagh.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Nothing has had as much influence on my sense of humour, understanding of television production, writing, and my own creative streak as Red Dwarf has.

It’s a show that (while having it’s good and bad years) I’ve always had a huge connection and love for, and always will.

It’s a show that’s introduced me to several wonderful people, and a funny take-no-shit community that I’m proud and privileged to be a part of.

It also introduced me to my first wife, but that was around the time of Red Dwarf VIII. Did nothing good come of that series?!?

Anyways, happy birthday RD. Keep ’em coming.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I’d fully endorse an amended Kryten torso for XII. The one for XI looked like a serious step backwards in my opinion, which is gutting cos the the limbs and mask are really good.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

All this talk of the new Bug cockpit intrigues me. Looking forward to seeing it.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I didn’t get nuffink, my wife got nuffink.

My brother did, so I believe we’re off to watch the filming on Dec 4th. PHEW.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I like how Pecospete thinks.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Talkie Toaster. And Talkie Toaster.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

No laugh track. Film it on 1988 video, then add ‘film effect’ over the top. Then add another film effect for good measure. No model shots. only CG. But not 3D models. 2d cut outs, CSO’d in, with blur effects added. No Howard Goodall music, only library music. The credit music would be the extra verse shitty versions from those god-awful sci-fi theme CD’s SFX used to give away.

A remastered Skutter would zoom across the screen at 3 minute intervals.Chris Barrie wouldn’t be in it. Norm would have a six minute monologue in act one. Kryten would screech a lot, and have a mask only glued on to Roberts face at his eyelids. The LED’s on his costume flash, but only on the right shoulder. Cat gets a six minute long dance scene with Starbug.

Lister gets given a long, noble speech that inadvertently comes across (on reflection) as a bit rapey and objectifying women. Lister also has no scenes with the rest of the cast, and appears only by being green screened into the set. Every computer speaks in a racist, stereotypical accent. The sets are designed by Paul Montague, from his rejected notes. Rob Grant returns, but he and Doug only write every other word and do not collaborate in the same room. Every fourth sentence contradicts a previously established bit of Red Dwarf lore. There are bad, Remastered style sound effects played at an obscene volume.

The cast of Red Dwarf USA guest star, as the show is a backdoor pilot.

The show is filmed single camera, but on a massive Red camera rig that can only be crane mounted, and records at 50K, so every hair is visible even after the film effect processing. The camera hard drives do not have back ups, and are stored on the roof of Grant Naylor Productions, unprotected, for six weeks before any post is started. Babycow Productions are employed to provide craft services only. The show then airs once on Dave, and is cut off halfway through due to a transmission error – but that’s ok, because it leaked online the night before when the broadcast tapes were accidentally affixed to a Dave-sponsored advertising drone that crashes just outside Milton Keynes.

Buzzfeed later run an article proclaiming that you won’t believe which episode is voted to be the best episode of Red Dwarf.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Er, what-AAAARGGHH

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I think the story goes that they were supposed to key in a shot of the cargo bay there. but I guess due to the lighting (look at the blue overspill around the edges) they couldn’t key it out properly, and the best they could do at the time was to whack that grey backdrop in.

Even ReMastered struggled fixing because the camera was handheld, and that was the big problem at that time.

I’d guess nowadays the shot could be fixed, but it’d still take some doing, what with the crappy matte lines and the blue colouring around the edges that’d need re-colourising.

IT’S ALL PART OF THE CHARM, etc etc.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

They’re only interior flaws. Made of a light alloy.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I’ve not heard of that one – I’ll try it when the next previews go up (the old links have expired)

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Looking forward to seeing all your various Red Dwarf video projects in all honesty – but please can you upload the previews, tests etc in a format that I can view on a Mac? I’ve tried downloading the previous tests and cannot get them working in any software I’ve got, even VLC which damn near plays everything…

Cheers m’dears!

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Fresh Meat is lovely, and I deeply enjoyed Inbetweeners (although I’ve yet to see the film). Mongrels was cracking, and I think very underrated. Rev was an oddity… very old school in tone I felt, but with modern production…. a strange one. Quite good though.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Craig also makes some quite valid points at about the 1:40 mark: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Not quite what I thought it would be, to be honest.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Penblwydd Hapys!

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

P.S. I’m a cunt, obviously.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Has nobody yet nominated this thread for hall of fame status?

But seriously, wow. That guy was an ASS. Good riddance.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Hey Annie, I’m in neither spot I’m afraid, so paypal is probably yer best bet. Details are in the post above!

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I’ve still enough left for your three, no worries! Anniescribe, I wasn’t at DJ unfortunately, but I’ll send these State-ward for the same price, so Paypal me £7 or equivalent in $, and that’ll be fine. Same for you Ben.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Aye, it was a cracking convention – I sat at my table from 10 till 5, and didn’t stop sketching. Brilliant fun, but meant I missed EVERYTHING. Gah. I heard that the RD guys liked my print of them, and a few people showed me signed ones, which was nice. Nice to meet Monsieur Fletcher in the Fletch so to speak, and we had a good ol’ natter for a while, even going as far as to praise the G&T staff, even though they were nowhere around. Weird of us, but hey.

After the event shut up shop, as I was leaving I finally got to meet Norman, Danny and Hattie, who were all just brilliant – I’d never met Danny before, I’d only ever seen him in photographs. He was exactly as I’d always imagined, only much shorter.

Anyways, I only printed 30 of the Dwarf print, and I’ve only got a few left, so I’m shilling the suckers for £7 (included postage you lucky effers), so if anyone wants one, paypal me at drivaaar at ninjapea dot co dot uk.

It’s A4, looks like this, high quality glossy print, and is a right old continuity fuck-up.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Nice.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I know, right? But Ben! Where could people find said publication?

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Yes, I’m a comic guest there. Feel free to swing by my table matey, and say hello!

I’ll be sketching, selling my ‘Lou Scannon’ comics, and I should have a Red Dwarf based print up there too if I can finish it in time.

I’ll also be harassing the cast before the doors open to get some signatures before the queues go apeshit… I made a complete dick of myself in front of Chris and Robert last time, I imagine this time will be NO different. *sigh* I’m such a social fucktard. But I digress…

Anyone else going?

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Awesome. I’ve just spotted bits of Transformers Armada Megatron in there…

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I’d recommend watching them too – listening is all well and good, but you’ll only be getting half the experience really. :)

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I first saw Rimmer’s death video in Me2 on first broadcast, but my first full ep was Backwards. A full on brilliant intro episode, and converted me into a fan pretty much on the spot.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

It’s no secret, morale is on the Flora.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

“Adapt Carter’s fan comic? They should, yes.”

Oohhh, hush you…

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I did, didn’t I! Haha! Love it. And predictably, I’ve already lost that bit of paper. Oh well.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

You want my Matchbox Twenty wrist strap USB? Well okay… if it’ll get you to buy a book… :)

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

A valid point of discussions of course!

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Ah, couldn’t remember, not seen the movie for a while. But I’ll wager being riddled with bullets didn’t help ol’ numero Seven either.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Why were the humans being abducted? Why did no-one at the hospital spot the little girl who was there by herself for a YEAR? And didn’t being defibrilated actually finish off the Seventh Doctor?

Gah.

I loved the start of this episode. Then it all went a bit meh in the middle (apart from that nice little scene with Amy and The Doctor as he told her he missed her, and she was the first face his new face saw). And finally the end stormed in too quickly with a wave of the sonic and that was it. Very, very poor.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

No, I wrote to a few as well. The names, sadly, escape me now.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Hi all

So my RDX USB stick arrived this morning, and VERY nice it is too. Mini review coming up.

Despite Naylor Junior’s concerns, the disc was empty, so no spoilerific content there – the marketing dept had obviously eaten their Weetabix that day. The thing is credit card sized, with the actual USB 2.0 interface (how did they know?!) flipping out from the back of the stick. It’s got 4GB capacity, so you can CRAM this thing with an obscene amount of porn, should you be so inclined.

The front has a cast shot, with a particularly bad pic of Kryten gurning horribly, but everyone else looks good. Print quality is decent, bit fuzzy, but that’s likely due to the rough-ish plastic it’s built from. The back is all black, with the DAVE logo emblazoned.

One neat little thing about this was the small “Thanks for supporting RDX” note included from Richard Naylor. It was written on a bit of cut-out RDX script. No idea what episode it’s from, it contains a model shot description, and one line of the Cat’s – “Budski”.

Here’s some pictures hosted on Photobucket that you can stuff into your teeming sockets like pies for your eyes, you fat eyed people.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Awww yeah. Fuckin’ nailed it. If anyone’s willing to pay off my mortgage, the stick is yours. :) Or not.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

That’s Numberwang!

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I’m sure I heard it too. When Rory finds Amy is wearing a braclet after all.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Re: Dear Dave – I like the ending, it was funny, I hope it remains unchanged.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

By the way, congrats to Ben – he got the funding!

Now make me laugh about old video games, bitch.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

If it ended up being a choice between cast or Doug… Doug.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I never used to like Meltdown, but now… it’s actually rather brilliant isn’t it?

I find lots to like in Series VII, apart from Beyond A Joke. Not a big fan of that one at all really.

The US Pilot I’m oddly fond of. Bierko’s Lister is different, but funny, and he got some great lines, and had good delivery. And Kryten’s ‘Fire Exit’ sign moment is worthy of inclusion in the UK show, hands down. The US pilot certainly feels more ‘Dwarf’ to me than series VIII did.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Yeah, loved the delayed fight scene in Pete 2.

Also – “Follow the Rimmer-shaped blur” from part one.

There’s a lot of series VIII that I do find funny in fact, it’s just a very childish sort of funny.

“Only The Good…”, I don’t think I can find anything good about ironically. Oh, saying that, Slattery’s maniacal “HAHAHAHAHA!” as the vending machine is quite amusing, so yeah…

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Just out of curiousity, won’t walking that far take you AGES?

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

I have ‘donated’ some ‘money’ to you Ian.

And by donated I mean masturbated furiously, and by money I mean jiz. Obviously.

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Ha! You can almost hear Doug’s eyes rolling.

[Author]

Replies