Paul Muller

[Paul Muller]

DON’T GO ANDREW, I LOVE YOU!

[Paul Muller]

Yeah I showed it to my girlfriend and that was the first thing she said.

Sigmund Freud eat your heart out…

[Paul Muller]

“Did anybody else try to make her cross-eyed?”

Yeah. Took me a while to realise it wasn’t going to happen.

[Paul Muller]

Terrifying.

[Paul Muller]

Yeah i suppose so.

Also, whilst we’re on the subject.

http://www.starshipmodeler.info/gallery6/jr_giga.htm

[Paul Muller]

Thanks. It’s bloody odd, but pretty interesting.

“Is it true you was a racist, and an informant for J Edgar Hoover?”

Actually, am watching more and more of it, and just keeps getting better/worse.

Vocoder version is bizarre, as is Danny’s triangular haircut.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=etWN7Hs6qeA

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=X6LBxWisdOI

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=eVofWV3YaIo

[Paul Muller]

I like tequila and pork pie jelly.

and colouring in.

[Paul Muller]

I would just like to announce…

I just looked at the clock, saw 23.40 and immediately thought “Oh,that’s the year Kryten was created.”

I want my life back.

[Paul Muller]

No, it’s worse.

[Paul Muller]

MARMITE WITH GRATED MELTED CHEESE ON TOP.

[Paul Muller]

I actually quite like the film effect, as used in Series VII. I suppose it helped that because it wasn’t shot in front of an audience they could light it a lot better. It just brings out the detail in everything. I remember seeing the Series VIII trailer for the first time and thinking, ‘Oh no, they’ve got rid of it!”

I think that that’s partly why I didn’t like the last series, it just made it look a bit cheap.

[Paul Muller]

Just reminds me of Runnymede.

[Paul Muller]

My Grandma loved it.

[Paul Muller]

such as Red Dwarf.

[Paul Muller]

Yeah it is Ed. Bye.

[Paul Muller]

No.

[Paul Muller]

Yeah, it’s excruciating.

I don’t watch much TV either, but only because our aerial is broken and the landlord won’t cough up for a new one, the COMPLETE BASTARD.

[Paul Muller]

‘And I urge anyone to try to sit through Bicentenial Man >without throwing up’

I managed to sit through it without throwing up. But when it had finished I realised I’d accidentally clawed out my own eyes.

[Paul Muller]

I like the scene in Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers where we see him actually cracking up after coming out of stasis, riding on escalators naked and shouting abuse at Holly.

I don’t know why I like it, I think i’m just a bit wierd.

[Paul Muller]

Right. Everyone take a deep breath….1,2,3…And relax. I’ll make some tea and we can get on with our lives.

[Paul Muller]

“GNP just held it back for the next release”

Red Dwarf: The New Zealand TV advert Collection.

[Paul Muller]

Right. I’ve been looking for an excuse to skive off writing my culture studies essay , so thanks.

I think you’re right about the ending. The whole ‘Death’ scene is a bit ridiculous. Kneeing Death in the balls? This is Rimmer we’re talking about here, he’d probably just have a panic attack or beg for mercy like a little girl.

The caption at the end was particularly enraging. Presumably as another series or movie was supposed to follow. But given the situation now, a better wording might be

The End….

Smeg. It is.

[Paul Muller]

It is. But nice to see anyway. Wierd mixture of various series’ sets and costumes as well.

[Paul Muller]

What’s a worm do?

[Paul Muller]

So it wasn’t, “I drank all the goldfish.”?

Also. “Ouroborous” – “He must be thicker than a ticket tout’s wad.” Got that about a week ago, always thought it was something like “ticket tell’s what”.

Still don’t get it.

And Lister’s line to Rimmer after he calls Lister 3rd rate scum, I still can’t work out. Honestly, I just cannot work out what Craig is saying. Help me.

[Paul Muller]

I was with you right up to space monkeys.

[Paul Muller]

I’ve spent many a drunk night playing the coin on forehead game.

[Paul Muller]

I’d be quite happy if Howard Goodall just did the music for everything ever, including real life. I’d feel much better in general if my pointless existence was accompanied by a stirring soundtrack.

[Paul Muller]

That was harrowing to say the least.

[Paul Muller]

Saw ‘sister’ Talia Garrett in an advert for painkillers or incontinence pads or something.

[Paul Muller]

I was quite excited when I heard that Red Dwarf was on Dave. But then I walked past the big billboard outside my house, promoting the channel as ‘the home of witty banter’, which made me want to hunt down it’s PR department and bludgeon them with a section of lead piping.

Might still tune in though.

[Paul Muller]

It does sort of fit the series though. About being lost and lost love and I guess the sad moron bit could refer to Rimmer. Not sure about the shit bush though. And who’s Louise?

[Paul Muller]

Andrew?

[Paul Muller]

?Two times a night? What is wrong with the corporation? She?s Dwarf mad!?

Not any more.

[Paul Muller]

Several heavy blows to the head.

[Paul Muller]

It was Christmas Eve I was walking to the village church for the late night carol service. As I strolled down the road, I saw old Roger the farmer, stood in a field with a shetland pony. He was caressing it gently with his hands, running them up and down it’s back and mane.

“Are you not coming to the carol service Roger?” I called.

“Ahh not tonight,” replied the farmer.

“But it’ll do you good, a big old sing-along, it clears your chest!” I said.

“I know,” replied Roger, “But I’m feeling a little horse at the moment.”

[Paul Muller]

Et voila!

http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o26/roomwithaview86/Photo-0137.jpg

[Paul Muller]

“I think I’m on fire….F**** I am!”

[Paul Muller]

“Fan fics are never as funny”

That’s true.

[Paul Muller]

I watched one once that featured the following line:

Woman: *Aroused sorts of sounds*

Man: “MASSIVE HORSE PUSSY!”

The ensuing mental image really killed the moment.

[Paul Muller]

That’s cool. I wrote mine when I was drunk.

[Paul Muller]

I’m pretty picky when it comes to this sort of thing so yes, but only for a pint, a packet of Real McCoys and ?2.30 to get the bus home.

[Paul Muller]

Lister, is that a threat?

[Paul Muller]

You get the idea.

[Paul Muller]

Absolument. Yeah I was just nitpicking. Actually I watched Star Cops the other day and was quite impressed by David Calder’s attempt to convey weightlessness by gently manouvering around his cabin in the style of a crab.

Would be interested in reading your story, fanfiction is always quite interesting to see. Did some myself a couple of years back which you can read here: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=32988123&blogID=206513632

but, y’know, don’t – because it’s shit.

[Paul Muller]

What a clever bunch we are.

I still haven’t worked out how all ships in the series, including shuttlecraft, manage to generate Earth-like gravity. Isn’t it theoretically possible if you have a sort of ‘spinning centrifuge’ kind of principle, as used by Arthur C Clarke, but none of this would correspond with Red Dwarf so basically doesn’t all the scientific validity of the show go down the shitter more or less straight away?Correct me if I’m wrong, because to be honest, I’m confusing myself.

[Paul Muller]

Thanks Tanya, and Thanks John that clears it up, the Starbug thing sounds understandably arse, but still think it would be cool to see because I’m THAT anal.

[Paul Muller]

” *cough* Movie test shot! *cough* “

Yeah, looking forward to that.

Incidentally, was that the only piece of test footage shot for the film?

I prefer the big red red big clenched fist, but don’t mind the pencil, but that might just be because it looks slightly like an ejaculating phallus and I’m pathetic enough to find that sort of thing quite funny.

[Paul Muller]

http://www.angelfire.com/wa/fanflicyberbat/star2.html

[Paul Muller]

“[The doors open and they walk in, Cat is trailing behind. The
holodeck is still it’s empty black with yellow lines]

Cat: Yeuch.. horrible.

Lister: Why does he say everything is so ugly?

Kryten: His ability to like the look of things has been removed”

I’d hate to lose my ability to like the look of things…

[Author]

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