Hamish

[Hamish]

I think we all might just have to come to the conclusion that the Cinzano Bianco joke might just be a bit crap.

[Hamish]

Speaking of shades and red and stuff, the Dave era ship is the wrong shade of red, and Starbug is the wrong shade of Green and too glossy and reflective now, both of which make the show uglier than it needs to be. Starbug also looks tiny these days, and some of the model work is shall we say less than stellar.

Wrong opinion thread there, Ben.

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Dorien? Who gave you permission to turn into an Alsatian?

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Everyone who posts here is really cool.

Except me, so just forget I spoke, all right?

[Hamish]

Yes, I’ve always felt this. In the context of the whole run it’s really odd for her to pop up again so late, after such a big gap, and in such a short cameo, only for KK to return in such a different and more prominent way so soon after.

Canonically, yes, but of course from a production standpoint the distance from Clare to Chloë was not much shorter than the distance from Clare’s last appearance in Stasis Leak to Psirens.

[Hamish]

Again, that is kind of how I feel about Cured. In terms of competent structure it excels no matter what you think of the actual ideas or jokes. At least for the messy production of the Dave era.

[Hamish]

That Chris Barrie guy should stick around.

[Hamish]

We’ve lost our keys. And had a picture fall of the wall. Not to mention all the times we’ve used up a whole bog roll in a day.

[Hamish]

One of the best things in BTE Part 1 is a face Rimmer pulls when Cat’s telling him about being attacked by the squid, and that shot isn’t in the director’s cut.

I am still annoyed by a lot of the cuts made to Part One in the Director’s Cut compared to broadcast and never watch it because of that.

Call me a masochist if you like.

[Hamish]

Honestly I think the TNG films are worse offenders when it comes to not coming to terms with the age of the cast. Or their plot lines in subsequent shows.

As some have pointed out before, it is rather disrespectful to the new tactical officer on the Enterprise-E that Worf can come and take his old station back whenever he pleases.

[Hamish]

ike the OT Star trek movies. After wrath of Khan they stopped mentioning how the characters were getting older. And i think thats because it starts to get sad after a while. Especially if you want to keep making more.

“Is it possible, that we two, you and I, have grown so old, and so inflexible, that we have outlived our usefulness?”
– Spock to Kirk, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

[Hamish]

[Hamish]

The Smegmeister was decades ago. We’re still far more concerned about the quite silly thing Cappsy said in his Mechocracy review three years ago.

[Hamish]

I am getting Google promoting the DaisyBryar sticker with its adverts now. Thanks guys.

[Hamish]

Thread being derailed Ganymede & Titan

[Hamish]

Grant Naylor

[Hamish]

Thankfully the CC didn’t come for Red Dwarf but this joke did stir them up a bit.

I think you will find Craig Charles has been involved since at least 1987.

That is obviously what he meant right?

[Hamish]

I will still defend the Blue Midget Dance on the grounds it was the only real thing they gave Danny to do the whole series.

[Hamish]

You mean they were not all bread?

[Hamish]

“Hey, I don’t do the Big Bang! That’s Beryl.”

Rob just needed to watch an episode filmed close to twenty years later for context.

[Hamish]

Ian deserves a place in the Hall of Heroes.

[Hamish]

I guess we are all starting to get tiled of this.

[Hamish]

You do seem a bit pee-ved.

…can we go back to talking about floors now?

[Hamish]

Now we are all just wing-ing it.

[Hamish]

Neither is Ben apparently.

[Hamish]

I don’t think Doug was playing with a full deck when he wrote VIII.

[Hamish]

Because tombow didn’t have the videos as a kid.

I think this governs a great deal of fan opinion actually. Which Dwarf you were first introduced to I mean, not tombow’s personal viewing habits.

Series V and II were the last of the Grant/Naylor era I got to see in full, and while Series II is now one of my favourites, I have always found Series V to be overrated, and it seems to have been the gateway drug for a lot of people around these parts.

[Hamish]

Aslong as you don’t remember Trojan where Howard is a hard light hologram and has a light bee.

Not really a problem since he was posted to a Quantum Twister class vessel as part of the Space Corps Super Infinity Fleet.

“Those Space Corps boys had everything. The buttons, the blasters, the snug elasticated jumpsuits. They had it all!”

[Hamish]

It’s just another thing that became forgotten once the whole light bee idea came along. If the light bee is projecting him and can be recharged on Starbug, why would it need a massive ship to power it earlier one?

I have always been of the opinion that the light bee as we know it was not native to Red Dwarf and was something that Kryten salvaged from a derelict sometime around Series IV.

[Hamish]

(ex: being instantly vaporized by a neutron tank in Dimension 165, which makes zero sense if there are infinite dimensions, like why even bother numbering them?)

Numbered from the amount of hops from the dimension the Wildfire originated from. Keeps growing infinitely. Simple.

[Hamish]

Nestene JFK was the actual shooter Lister put behind the grassy knoll.

[Hamish]

DIMENSION JUMP

The alternate Space Corps. realize sending their best pilot and experimental ship on a one-way trip to never return is inefficient and stupid and decide to keep Ace on the payroll because why the fuck would you banish your best pilot?

To be fair, Rob Grant does address this point in Backwards by having it be an act of defiance by Ace, Spanners, and Bongo.

And then he has Ace get killed in a horribly graphic way, because he’s Rob Grant.

[Hamish]

OUROBOROS

When Lister encounters a Kochanski from an alternate universe, she has no idea who he is as they barely exchanged any conversation on the pre-accident Red Dwarf and worked completely separately from one another.

That said, Lister is able to rekindle his relationship with the parallel version of his rubber plant.

[Hamish]

I am sure there is a joke in there somewhere.

[Hamish]

From Rimmer’s Death Video:
HOLLISTER: Look, it was your job to fix it, Rimmer! You can’t do sloppy work on the drive plate!

It sounds like they knew it could be a big deal.

[Hamish]

And the moral of the story is: Appreciate what you’ve got, because basically, Strawberries are fantastic.

[Hamish]

Kill two birds with one stone. Show that Kochanski eloped with Snacky.

[Hamish]

But not for THE piping hot steak and kidney pie he eats in ‘The End’ though.

[Hamish]

“Condition: Used”

[Hamish]

> Maybe that’s why Cat hallucinates himself as Duane, that is the sort of cat persona he was rebelling against as a kitten before they all buggered off and left him

And now we know they left him because he was like Duane to begin with.

[Hamish]

> It would make for a proper decent Cat episode (that I guess we thought we’d get with Can of Worms). He might decide he wants to stay with his people, then realise that he has absolutely nothing in common with them or their society, and comes back to Lister et al.

RODON: Well, how do you feel now brother? You want to return to our people? Huh? You want to come home?

*Cat looks back at Kryten, Rimmer, and Lister*

CAT: I am home. This is my home right here!

Give Doug some credit, he managed to get quinn_drummer’s entire idea for an episode across in just a little over ten seconds of screen time.

[Hamish]

I was just going to say, I was getting Halloween masks.

[Hamish]

X has the best Smeg Ups. Not sure that is unpopular.

[Hamish]

I was unsure which to pick but I settled on VI just to tweak the nose of V. So there.

[Hamish]

> Presumably Red Dwarf just completely disappearing would make it a fairly big deal that *everyone* would be talking about.

I guess it depends on just how mundane Red Dwarf as a ship was, and how common accidents such as these were. We have no idea how many ships the JMC had in their fleet, or with how much significance the vessel was viewed.

Crew numbers also affect this. 169 people lost is different kind of tragedy from 1,169 people lost, just in terms of scale if nothing else.

[Hamish]

> Kryten’s home era is at least several hundred years after the Red Dwarf fled the solar system. There would be records as to how human history viewed the loss of the ship.

Sure, but are you aware of every maritime tragedy of the last 200 years?

[Hamish]

> it’s one thing to have two different pronunciations of the word but two different spellings?

[Hamish]

I have not seen any of this, but Picard being resurrected in a robot body sounds awfully Shatnerverse. It sure does not help this seem like any less of a vanity project.

[Hamish]

I would rather have Rob novels and Doug specials to be honest.

[Hamish]

> I definitely think that specials are the way to go forward from now on.

Were the last few seasons needed to get there or could Doug have just gone with specials since 2009 do you think though?

[Hamish]

Where do babies even come from?

[Hamish]

Mexicans would still call Katydid and RealBigOleDummy Estadounidense rather than American though, while Brazilians would use Americano/a. French Canadians might use Etats-Uniens rather than American as well. So it is more about language than politics.

[Hamish]

In the case of Canada and Mexico we are just happy for any excuse not get lumped in with you lot.

[Hamish]

> It’s not like any of the other countries on this continent are fighting for the title.

North America no. Central and South America yes. Latin Americans consider themselves exactly that. Americans.

Though we could just as easily have ended up referring to everyone in the United States as Columbians so there you go. History is weird.

[Hamish]

[Hamish]

I assume Holly gave him an orientation before hand.

[Hamish]

All I can say is that here in Canada we have Coffee Crisps and you lot are missing out.

[Hamish]

This *is* fun! Are you mad?

[Hamish]

> What the hell is that asshole’s problem, I bust my ass making these and some cunt just gallops in and slaps a tag demeaning it. Honestly.

Yep, that is what editing Wikipedia is like alright.

[Hamish]

>Random unsourced anonymous 4chan post

Jawscvmcdia?

[Hamish]

> Well, we’ve found John’s replacement already.

He wishes.

[Hamish]

About not being interested in Red Dwarf?

[Hamish]

It is the direction that lets Nemesis down. The plot by and large is serviceable.

I remember as a kid listening to an audio book of the novelization of Nemesis, and it really is unreal how much better some of the line readings were in that when compared to the film. A massive missed opportunity.

[Hamish]

Good or near-perfect cast naming.

[Hamish]

Not a joke, but I always like how Craig says “stacked to the gills” in Rimmerworld.

[Hamish]

Babylon 5 curse suddenly comes for DS9.

[Hamish]

So that would still be a yes from you then?

[Hamish]

> News on the Red Dwarf Special can’t come quick enough.

And then a cast member gets sick. I guess this thread is contagious.

[Hamish]

Darrell – 2019

[Hamish]

> It works, though, because sentient cartoon hedgehogs have been an established part of the Dwarf universe for several years now.

[Hamish]

> As does comparing a TV show and novels, written to tell a story, to a videogame tie in, made only to sell videogames to children.

Which were themselves only created to sell the Mega Drive/Genesis hardware to children.

[Hamish]

Rimmer does get Holly to transcribe his report on the alien pod in Waiting for God though. So maybe I am just talking out of my arse.

[Hamish]

Probably more of a case that, while it seems quite predictable in hindsight, digital dictation would not have been top of mind for Rob and Doug in 1988.

Kind of like how Asimov thought digital voice would be a greater hurdle for robots than reliable locomotion. Alexa, pick up the ball.

[Hamish]

One Glorious Hole?

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I was felt warm and safe in my mother’s womb.

[Hamish]

In all seriousness, yeah, it has got to be Out of Time. Even without the “To Be Continued” caption it would have left the door open for more without necessarily needing there to be, which is how Red Dwarf should end.

[Hamish]

Parallel Universe. Obviously.

[Hamish]

Did Symes reply to Warbodog or quinn_drummer there?

[Hamish]

Thing is, you do see pictures of the cast together. Getting a curry for instance.

[Hamish]

Now, am I really the only one here who never really cared for Jadzia to begin with?

(G&T is speechless)

Well, quite clearly I am!

[Hamish]

I always wondered about Pete. In general.

[Hamish]

Who’s eating this chicken?

[Hamish]

> They returned to the cat characteristics a little bit later with the smell-powers for piloting Starbug, but I can’t think of much other than that.

I LOVE THE STRING GAME!

[Hamish]

LISTER: You killed the crew, Kryten! No wonder you ended up on your own! All right, it was an accident, but nevertheless…

[Hamish]

> I nominate Hamish for triggered status.

I did not say it was offensive, just that it was shit. Like a Jawscvmcdia post.

[Hamish]

I nominate this thread for Turd status.

[Hamish]

Except it is done with a bluescreen.

[Hamish]

Or should I have just gone with plays the spoons?

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Ace and Doctor?! You sound like a kids’ TV series about a girl and a man who stuffs live ferrets down his trousers!

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I seem to recall it was Kochanski that was in the vault originally though?

[Hamish]

ALAN!

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It’s because they didn’t have the right nobby parents! I’ll bet the Submit button was fed gazpacho soup as soon as it was on solids! No, I’ll bet it was breast-fed on it! One side gazpacho soup, the other side freely-dispensed chilled champagne!

[Hamish]

I already have.

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In the first Series Holly was instead played by David Ross.

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>I need to watch XII again

You should, but you won’t see Krysis.

[Hamish]

Epideme
Cassandra
BTE Part Two
Lemons
Give & Take
Cured

I am controversial with VII at the very least.

[Hamish]

It would be like garroting Bambi in every dimension.

[Hamish]

>> To stop taking this piss for a moment

> Spoilsport.

I am more mortified that I keep making auto-correct errors without the help.

Oh, and… David Ross Talkie Toaster and John Lenahan Talkie Toaster I guess?

[Hamish]

To stop taking this piss for a moment, you could pair Legion with anyone and everyone. Create the ultimate conglomerate of evil.

[Hamish]

Rob Grant and Doug Naylor.

[Author]

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