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when i was on a nude beach once, i saw a man with a penis that looked like the Low Strawberry from Demons And Angels

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As someone who’s trans, the sex change joke in The Promised Land didn’t really bother me- for me it was like the Wilma Flinstone conversation in Backwards, where it’s just the characters discussing a hypothetical situation and getting way too into the idea. I can see why it offended people though and I think that’s fine and all, it just personally didn’t upset me really. Finding out the guy who did the music for TPL (Paul Farrer) is a racist and transphobe though was enough to make me not want to watch it ever again in my life though so there’s that

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honestly, i really like most of VIII. so i won’t list my favorite moments here because i think there’s loads and loads of good stuff in it. Cassandra has always been one of my all-time favorite episodes, i really like Krytie TV and Pete as well. Back In The Red goes on too long and i think Only The Good should have stuck with the original ending, but other than that I really enjoy VIII overall, more than anything in the Dave era tbh. i understand why people don’t like it, but for me it’s a really fun series to watch

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what is it about the “Dennis The Donut Boy” stuff that gets everyone so wound up? it’s one throwaway line in an episode, and it’s not really out of character for him to have blackmailed his way into being Captain, is it? along with “one of the knights has escaped from the AR machine” it really seems like one of those things that everyone inexplicably gets annoyed about

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Who does Cat live with?

nigel, he’s nice

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in response to the above about using the “Red Alert” gag to introduce somebody to Red Dwarf, i can honestly say if that was the first Red Dwarf thing i saw, i’d never have watched the show at all. it’s not like i don’t get the joke or anything, i just think it’s really not funny and a particularly poor example to introduce someone to the show.

when i started watching Red Dwarf with my boyfriend a while ago, we started on The End and that got him pretty into the show. surely that’s a good place to start, the opening of that is a good scene with some jokes and stuff

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my unpopular opinion is the “red alert” stuff isn’t funny at all…i’ve never got why that’s one of the most often mentioned scenes, when there’s so much stuff that’s way way better

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it would be quite funny if they did a series 13 of red dwarf and there’s an episode where all kinds of shit escapes an AR machine and then suddenly nobody can make snarky jokes about things escaping an AR machine that didnt actually escape an AR machine in one episode 20 years ago

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i think a knight could probably escape an AR machine anyway…but even then, a knight didn’t escape from the AR machine, lister just said one did and people believed him. it didnt happen, fiction within fiction

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That’s correct. The issue is over Rimmer (and the others) believing without question that a knight could escape from the AR machine, threaten Ace, and eventually kill Rimmer.

is it really so out of the question that a video game character could escape from an AR machine into the real world though? earlier in the episodes all the game characters are seemingly advanced enough AI that they’re basically real people, who’s to say one couldnt escape and start causing trouble?

also weirder things definitely have happened to the crew. the triplicator in demons and angels and the mirror universe portal in only the good are both basically cartoon magic. i’d say the knight escaping is more plausible than either of those really

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Talking of holograms, does the ship have one in Series VIII? Or do they just not bother?

not sure if this is relevant or not, but this reminded me that VIII is the only series of the entire show where nobody even uses the word “hologram”

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i don’t think there should be a G&T article promoting music made by a transphobic racist piece of shit

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maybe nobody else on the ship could be bothered to fix the drive plate, so they gave the job to a nobody technician. its a common thing to be asked to do something because nobody else wants to. maybe repairing a drive plate is a really menial boring task as well as incredibly easy, so they figured they could palm it off to rimmer

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why do they say its the last strawberry in the universe? surely all they know for sure is that its the last strawberry on the ship, unless they frequently fly around in some sort of fruit-detector shuttle

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Ace Rimmer teams up with Robin Hood to reclaim all the smeg that the Sheriff of Nottingham has stolen from a village. Featured song: Rockin’ Robin by (Bobby Day)

A taste of curry sauce with seeds in it causes Lister to grow fruits and vegetables out of his body. Scott Nemes guest-stars.

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i actually quite liked the US cast they went with (especially in the second pilot, the guy who played Rimmer in that was perfect) but for the sake of playing along i’d say have Kevin Meaney as Lister, Steve Hytner as Rimmer, Larry Miller as Holly, and uhhh Eddie Murphy as Cat or something, i dont know. not sure who you could get to play Kryten

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RED DWARF (BM)X

Kryten and Cat enter a BMX race against Taiwan Tony, Snacky and a space weevil so that they can win the prize money. Featured song: Shut Down by (The Beach Boys)

Rimmer’s mother comes to visit and proves to be a bossy annoyance from start to finish.

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TROJAN (HORSE)

When Lister, Kryten and Rimmer are unable to rescue Cat from Rodon and the ferals, they try to fool him with a cat-shaped Trojan Horse. Featured song: I Hear You Knocking by (Dave Edmunds)

Kochanski strikes oil and tries to sell it to Ted Bull (Norman Fell).

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THE ROBOT WARRIOR

A Simulant Death Squad has stolen all the curry sauce in the universe, so the posse must work to get it back. Lister (Craig Charles) becomes the “Robot Warrior” in the process, and uses his newfound powers to host Robot Wars. Episode is based on The Road Warrior. Featured song: Born to Be Wild by (Steppenwolf)

Kryten’s dream date from a computer system turns out to be a GELF (Clare Carey).

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STAR KNOTS IN THEIR EYES

The posse must free the natives of the Planet Of The Nymphomaniacs from being the Pan-Dimensional Liquid Beast From The Mogadon Cluster’s slaves. Featured song: Chains by (The Beatles)

Paul Elder hunts for an alligator that’s stuck in Kochanski’s basement, to her dismay.

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EMIT FO TUO

Kryten and Cat use a fake volcano god to trick a tribe of islanders into sacrificing Kochanski. Featured song: Hot Hot Hot by Buster Poindexter.

Lister buys a watch that runs backwards from a mysterious salesperson. Soon, he does everything backwards, even eating.

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After eating radioactive curry, Lister has grown enormous, and is terrorizing the city of Manchester. Episode is based on Godzilla. Featured song: “The Jolly Green Giant” by (The Kingsmen)

Cat and Kryten, anxious to find out what prize they won in a sweepstakes, consult Rimmer (Chris Barrie) for help. Much to their dismay, Rimmer himself ends up as the prize.

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TERRORTRUEFORMS

rimmer buys some new shoes but becomes frightened when he wears them

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again though, why is everyone being so impatient? it’s only been 2 months since TPL. so just wait a while surely? and if something happens it happens, and if it doesn’t then that’s it. im just confused at this requesting for more so soon after the last one. there’s usually gaps of multiple years between new stuff. have patience

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this is a bit impatient surely, it’s only been 2 months since the last Red Dwarf and you’re already asking for more. how much do you want

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>Does this mean that the next Red Dwarf special will have Michael Caine in having a backwards dump?

blow on me bloody doors

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HARRY POTTER AND THE PAN-DIMENSIONAL LIQUID BEAST FROM THE MOGADON CLUSTER OF FIRE

During his adventures at the school of Hogwarts Harry is confronted by the same vaguely defined beast that once attacked the Red Dwarf posse, only it is now on fire. Unsurprisingly, both due to the predictability of these posts and the nature of the beast, he is subsequently killed by it

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HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF FLOOR 13

During his adventures at the school of Hogwarts Harry learns about a secret thirteenth floor called The Tank, where 400 prisoners are secretly being kept for crimes against the Space Federation. He decides to just leave it and is subsequently scre-ew-ew-ew-ewed up by a stray Time Wand

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HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SMEG

During his adventures at the school of Hogwarts Harry learns about a secret underground room called the Chamber Of Smeg, where the teachers routinely congregate to roll around in their own filth. He decides to just leave it since that’s disgusting and is subsequently killed by some stray smeg

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HARRY POTTER AND THE ANUBIS STONE

During his adventures at the school of Hogwarts Harry learns about a mystical object called the Anubis Stone, said to be based on an Egyptian creature with the head of a cat. He decides to just leave it since they got their Egyptian mythology all wrong and is subsequently killed

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THE PROMISED LAN
Kryten promises faster internet speeds after Lister’s Renegade Monks server goes down

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i’ve always pronounced it hyu-mus (or hoo-muss) and heard plenty of people say it that way. that’s always been the more common way of pronouncing it from my experience

also- on some packages of the stuff, i’ve seen it spelled “houmous” but on others “hummus” which is just confusing. it’s one thing to have two different pronunciations of the word but two different spellings?

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> Why does Lister pronounce ‘hummus’ so weirdly?

he doesn’t, does he? i’ve always pronounced it like that and never been corrected on it, and i’m fairly sure i’ve heard other people say it like that too. how do you pronounce it?

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He always seemed like a really gentle and friendly guy on the documentaries and such, very sad to see him go. RIP Bill

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HAVE YOU SEEN RIMMER’S ALMOND?

Petersen searches for a lost nut.

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NO, I’M WAITING TO CUM OUT PAPERBACKS

Chen responds to the furniture news with a very off-key comment about ejaculating books

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HAVE YOU SEEN RIMMER’S ARMOIRE?

Petersen tells everyone about a nice piece of furniture he’s seen in the bunkroom

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is it true nobody drives a car in Canada

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I saw the Sonic movie over the weekend with my boyfriend, who was expecting it to be a so-bad-it’s-good kind of movie, but ended up really enjoying it and admitted it was way better than he expected. I thought it was really great too- it’s definitely the best video game movie out there, for sure. There are a few flaws with it (Sonic’s owl mom being weirdly realistic despite everyone else from his planet very obviously being a cartoon, and Robotnik’s sidekick just vanishing halfway through the movie) but it was overall really enjoyable, funny, and had a lot of heart, which is something I definitely wasn’t expecting. I’d probably give it a 8 out of 10 or something, it’s not perfect but it’s definitely really good.

Also I could never really get into Mania tbh, it feels a bit too silly and sort of doesn’t quite capture the atmosphere of the originals. For example, Robotnik in the first four games looked comical, sure, but he was still a villain you took somewhat seriously, and all of the robots you fought seemed quite practical. In Mania he fights you in a game of Puyo Puyo and then later one of those rubbish toy-dispenser machines. It all just feels a bit ridiculous really, and I’m not immersed the same way I was with the originals, where I could sort of believe the world the game takes place in. Just my two cents on that whole thing

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>I think Jerry Seinfeld made this point before about references to stuff like cereals and sweets in his show, that using real brands that the audience will recognise is always funnier than coming up with a generic substitute, even when the brand itself isn’t really the point of the joke.

that’s definitely true, the episodes of Seinfeld with stuff like Junior Mints or Jujyfruits wouldn’t have been nearly as funny if it was generic made-up stuff. “it’s a little mint…it’s a Minty Miniature!” doesn’t quite land as well. it’s similar to how someone on here (i think it may have been Pete Part 3) pointed out before that the Wilma Flinstone scene in Backwards isn’t nearly as funny if you replace it with made-up characters. “Wanda Flagstone” just isn’t as funny for some reason

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I’ve always wanted to go to an audience recording for a show and just moan erotically at one point while everyone else is laughing. That way the viewers at home will be very confused as to why you can hear someone having an Orgasm during one of the gags

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the back door, presumably

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>Then again, if Timeslides was any more on the nose about Thatcher she’d be in the bastard thing.

i fail to see how it’s on the nose about anything, it’s an episode about a bunch of people time travelling by jumping into photographs and one of them using it to change history. i don’t know politics *that* well, but i’m pretty sure margaret thatcher wasn’t well known for hurling herself at polaroids. also considering you’re the only person who i’ve ever heard mention this supposedly obvious political commentary, it seems incredibly far-fetched to be honest. surely somebody else would have noticed this connection in the 30 years the episode has been out?

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finally got around to watching Back In The Red with my boyfriend the other week. he complained that it was “an hour and a half of talking scenes with no climax” and that the ending scene was “messed up, even though they didn’t show the full penetration” which i think is a pretty fair summary of the episodes

also we watched Timewave and he actually spat on my wrist after the infamous joke

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> Bonus points for sarcastically referencing an unbumped post of mine in another thread from about six months ago. Not that you’re obsessed or anything.

to be fair though Darrell, Series 3 supposedly being scathing political commentary is one of the maddest Red Dwarf theories that’s ever been posted on G&T

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>When I’m watching Dave Dwarf, some of it feels right, but there are also large portions where it feels as if I’m watching a fanfic with high production values written by someone who doesn’t quite get what Red Dwarf is or who the characters are.

Yeah, this is pretty much exactly how I feel. It’s like that bit in Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy where Arthur tries to get a cup of tea, and ends up with something almost, but not entirely unlike tea. The Dave Era is just that to me, it’s almost, but not entirely unlike Red Dwarf

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>Actually quite astonishing to think just how much permanent character development the main cast have had in the Dave era.

If by that you mean “absolutely none at all”, then sure. In XI/XII they’re all just absolutely two-dimensional cartoon caricatures of who they used to be. Rimmer is just an absolutely nasty and unpleasant prick 99% of the time (he was nasty before at times, but now it just feels utterly mean-spirited) and Cat flip-flops between being semi-intelligent and sarcastic to a whining idiot depending on the episode. It honestly feels like all the characters regressed after Series X

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BUT WORST OF ALL, THE MOST BITTER PILL TO SWALLOW, FOR 4 LONG YEARS I HAD TO POST SHIT PUNS IN THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD

Kryten takes the news that there was another, funnier version of G&T’s most infamous thread rather less well than Rimmer does

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ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TELLING ME YOU WERE POSTING IN THE CRAP VERSION OF THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD? FOR 4 YEARS?! WOAH, THAT’S A CLASSIC, THAT IS

Timothy Spall informs Rimmer that there was another, funnier version of G&T’s most infamous thread going on that he could have been posting in all this time. Rimmer is upset but still a little pleased at his sheer dedication to incessantly posting shit puns

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I’VE BEEN IN EFFECTIVE COMMAND OF THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD NOW FOR NEARLY 4 YEARS

Now that posts in the Idea For An Episode thread have been made in 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020 Rimmer decides to just round it off so he can make a rather bold but ultimately unimpressive claim.

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